The clock tells Shepard it's morning when she wakes up. She's alone in the cot, blanket tucked in around her and up to her chin. It's like being trapped in an oven.

Garrus is already at the console working on his firing algorithms. Ash is with him, speaking in low tones and sipping coffee from a white mug. The smell wafts over and curls in Shepard's stomach, making it growl with hunger. She never did eat after Purgatory.

Shepard dresses in the corner, putting on the Cerberus-issue civvies before going to them and their murmured conversation. Ash offers a good morning and a wan smile. Garrus rubs a hand over Shepard's hip.

"Going to stay for breakfast?" He asks.

Shepard shakes her head. It's clear that Ash is most comfortable around Garrus (and Joker and Chakwas). Shepard would be a third wheel. "On my way to a shower and then downstairs. I'll come back later if you can tear yourself away from calibrations."

"No promises." His hand slides up to her waist. "But I'll do my best to get away from this console."

"Great." She turns to Ash. "Any upcoming missions?"

"Soon," Ash nods. "They're locating the next round of recruits."

"Right." Shepard nods back. "Let me know. I'm ready to get out there."

"I will. Dismi-I mean, have a good morning."

Shepard throws a sloppy salute and leaves. Joker's made the trek to the Mess Hall today. He waves, grinning at the towel in her hands. "Should I message Donnelly? Tell him to stay far, far away from the 2nd Floor Men's Room?"

"I'll leave the Men's Room alone." She smirks. "For now."

Shepard takes her time in the shower. Cerberus provides constant hot water, a plus when the ship is so damn chilly. Omega had always been a comfortable temperature and, excepting the occasional system malfunction, had never been too hot or cold.

That's the upside to the rigorous exercise routine Jacob proscribed: it keeps her warm. She has a short workout planned for today, not wanting to leave Garrus alone too long. It's probably an overreaction on her part but there's new worry that he'll return to that hollow shell he was after Sidonis' betrayal.

Garrus is strong. But losing so many in one go makes a wound that takes years to heal. Even her own losses, old and scabbed over, can feel new and raw with the right trigger.

When Shepard gets to the Engineering Deck to check on Zaeed, he's standing before the Port Cargo Area with Jack. Both are armed.

"What's going on?" She demands, putting a hand to the pistol at her hip.

"The Krogan's about to be released," says Zaeed. He's focusing on the pulse of blue light humming around Jack. "She'd be better off spacing the damned thing."

"Yeah, I don't think she's too big on spacing."

"That's right," Jack scoffs. "Isn't that how she kicked the bucket the first time?"

Shepard pushes past them, entering the room. The sensors on the tank are beeping, demanding its occupant be released.

"Get back." Ash's voice fills the chamber as Shepard steps inside. The Commander is fully armored. "He'll be on edge when he's released."

"I can handle a Krogan," Shepard replies. "Let me stay and back you up."

Ash frowns but nods and turns back to the tank. Squares her shoulders. "EDI, release him."

"Yes Commander." There's a hiss of steam and machinery as the tank opens. The Krogan stumbles out, coughing and sputtering on the tank fluid. And then he charges in a blur, trapping Shepard by the throat against the wall.

Ash raises her gun. Shepard takes as deep a breath as she can with his forearm against her windpipe. Meets his gaze. "Give me your name," she demands. As if he's not about to kill her. The order throws him and he has to sift through the last messages his creator imprinted on him.

"Grunt," he says at last.

"Not Okeer Number Two?" Goddamn he's putting a lot of pressure on her throat. She wishes she had armor on.

"That name means nothing." He leans forward. "Okeer's voice remains in my head but his imprint has failed. His cause means little to me. I will fight for you, if you and your enemies are both worthy."

"Our enemies are worthy," Ash says, training her shotgun on the back of Grunt's head. "Let her go and I'll let you have a shot at them."

He glances down, noticing the pistol Shepard's got pointed at his stomach. He laughs, releasing her. "If you had shot, I would have killed you."

"If you had tried to kill me, we would have both shot you. Though either of us is fine taking you on solo." Shepard holsters her gun, a sign to a Krogan that she isn't afraid. She motions that Ash do the same. "Especially her."

"Thank you Shepard." Ash steps up to Grunt, shoulders back. Dominant posture. "My ship, the Normandy, is on its way to take on powerful enemies. You will make it stronger."

That's…actually the best thing Ash could have said to the Krogan. Shepard's a little impressed.

"That is…acceptable. I will fight for you." Grunt's eyes sidle over to Shepard. "And if I find a clan of my own, I will gladly pit them against yours."

"Then welcome aboard," says Ash. Grunt nods, eyes still locked on Shepard. Shepard grins back.

Horizon is hell.

Grunt is settling in the Port Cargo Area. The crew's been warned to keep away. Which is fine by Grunt—he drives off anyone who steps into the room that isn't Shepard or Williams. Shepard is occupying Garrus with a few rounds of poker.

Then the call comes. The recruits are on alert. Both Garrus and Shepard are summoned, along with Jack and Zaeed. Jacob, Miranda, Mordin and Kasumi are all to be ready in case back-up is needed.

Shepard hasn't been nervous before about the Commander's missions. Fighting Mercs and soldiers is easy for her now. But Ash making all these extra arrangements is discomforting.

It becomes clear why. She's heard about the Reapers, about the spires and the Husks. But none of that prepared her for seeing them. Fighting them. To take down a monster, inspect that monster and then realize it's made up of those Husks. Some sick fuck of a Collector made a monster out of those things.

The bastards are in the Terminus Systems. In her fucking home. And they're taking her fucking fellow Humans and making them into monsters. She has to tamp down the rage, revulsion and terror. She had to keep her aim steady and not throw up.

They make it to a garage where a mechanic is hiding. None of them look as freaked out as Shepard feels. Garrus and Ash have seen this shit before but Jack and Zaeed…they're cool and professional even without prior experience.

Ash confers with the colonist and the man mentions a Kaidan Alenko. The name sends a ripple through the group. Garrus and Ash exchange furtive glances.

There's no time to ask questions. They have to move on, to face more Husks and Collectors. And watch various Collectors get possessed by their ringleader, Harbinger. He likes to focus on Williams, taunting her every time someone on the squad takes a hit.

Shepard relishes attacking the asshole, taking down each Collector he commandeers so he will just shut the fuck up. A few times, she swears he looks right at her. Senses her fear.

And then the bastard sends another enemy that looks like an aircraft but no, it's another fucking monster made of Husks. Zaeed takes a nasty hit from its blue particle beam and Shepard holds her breath till he gets up again and opens fire.

When the thing and the rest of the monsters are gone, the relief is overwhelming. She and Garrus, stationed at opposite ends of the quad, race to Ash. With the battle over, the Commander lets herself slump.

"They got him, didn't they?" Ash asks Garrus. Her hands curl into fists. "If we had come sooner…"

"What-ifs will haunt you, Ash," says Garrus, voice soft. "You did everything you could."

"I have to be better than that." Ash's fists shake. "A Williams has to be"

Garrus doesn't have a reply. Neither does Shepard, if Ash wants to ask her. Because she knows that you can't save every person and you're damned lucky if you can save even one.

Some higher power decides that the squad needs a break. Not all the colonists were taken. Ash's final push ensured that a handful survived. Among them is Kaidan Alenko. He's a handsome man and the relief on Ash's face is damn beautiful.

"I thought you were…" Alenko murmurs, lifting his hand. He jerks it back before it makes contact though Ash has already started to lean towards him. "I'd heard you were alive and working for Cerberus. I didn't believe it. I couldn't."

"It's a complicated story." Ash steps forward, extending a hand. It's clear on her face that she's crazy for this guy. It pisses Shepard off, for the Commander's sake, when he takes a step back.

"I can't believe this. You're working for Cerberus. After everything you know about them."

Ash's expression crumbles a moment before she can catch it, schooling it into a stern mask. "I'm not with Cerberus. We have a mutual goal: stopping the Collectors from targeting these colonies."

Alenko won't hear it. "I'm…disappointed Ash."

Well Shepard won't hear it either. She's exhausted and pissed and this guy in ungrateful that Ash just saved his ass? Fuck no. "Excuse me?"

Startled, Alenko stares at her. As if the world had stopped existing besides him and Ash when they started talking. "What?"

"She just saved your fucking life!" Shepard steps over, shrugging off Garrus' hand when he tries to draw her back. "And she just explained things to you and this is how you react?"

"Shepard." Ash snaps her gaze to the other woman. "It's fine-"

"It's not fine." Shepard pulls back her fist. She can see Jack smirking in her periphery, hands faint with blue energy. The biotic will cheer on what she's about to do. "This is bullshit."

Ash grabs her wrist and yanks her back, making Shepard meet her gaze. "Stand down, Shepard."

Alenko's retreated a few more steps. "I am grateful Ash. I am. But I can't trust Cerberus. And neither should you."

"I don't…" Ash murmurs. The other survivors are calling to Alenko. He sighs and goes to them rather than resolving the conversation or even saying goodbye.

"…Come on." Shepard sighs. "Let's get back to the Normandy."

"Right." Ash turns to the other squadmates, not looking at Shepard. Motions towards the waiting shuttle. "Move out."

A/N: People who read this on the kink meme may remember I was going to cut out the Grunt scene. I ended up just changing it around because it has some bearing in later plot developments.

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