"Why didn't you want me?"

Her heart sinks. "Olivia, that wasn't it at all. I did want you, but...I let someone else make that decision for me. I should have chosen differently. I wish I had chosen differently. I know how much me not being here hurt you. Everyday I thought about you. I thought about you needing me, and I wanted nothing more than to walk away from everything else, and come and get you..."

"So what stopped you?"

"Fear," she admits.

"What do you mean."

"I was afraid that your father wouldn't let me see you. I was afraid that if the rest of my family found out..."

"They don't know?"

"No. No one knows. I knew that none of them would ever understand."

"I don't really understand," Olivia admits.

"My husband lived for his work. When he wasn't working... he wasn't home. He wasn't coming home to me, most of the time. There were..." she pauses, "I thought that I would feel better if I had some control. I thought that if I did the same thing he did that we could be..."

"Even? You did it for revenge."

"I was a desperate woman. I met your father at my son's baseball game. He was the coach for the other team. I don't really know how it happened, but I know that it did. I never felt so bad in my life. I went home, and vowed that I would never think about it again. I wasn't going to tell anyone. I just wished that I hadn't stooped to William's level. Revenge, never works. I knew that I had made a mistake by going against my wedding vows."

"He did it to you so..."

"I felt guilty. I thought that I could put it behind me, pretend that it never happened."

"Obviously that didn't happen."

"Someone had a very different plan. I don't think that I've felt more shocked before, or since the day I found out that I was pregnant with you."

December 21st 1990

She sits in a chair in the exam room. She waits for the doctor to return. Finally he comes into the room. He closes the door behind him, and takes a seat in the chair next to her.

"What took so long? I thought that this was just a routine check-up."

"I just got your lab results from the other day back."

"Is something wrong?"

"No."

"Then why do you look so grim?"

"I've got some interesting news."

"Interesting how?"

"Did you know that you're pregnant?"

"What?"

"You're pregnant."

"I think you should run the test again."

"I had them double-check it."

"Well triple check it."

"You're definitely pregnant."

"I can't be."

"It is unusual for someone of your age, but it isn't unheard of."

"You're serious?"

"Yes. Now there are some serious risks involved with a woman of your age."

"Can we talk about this later? I think I'd just like to go home right now."

"Sure. But I want to see you back in a couple of weeks."

"Ok," she agrees.

"I mean I was forty four years old the last thing I expected was to get pregnant. It wasn't something that I thought I needed to worry about. It wasn't a possibility that I had even considered."

"If you didn't want me why did you have me? No one had to know you didn't have to tell my dad. You didn't have to tell anyone."

"I did want you. Every day I wanted you. Every day my heart ached for you. When you were about three your dad sent me a Christmas card with a picture of you. I cried for a month. It took all I had to not just come and get you."

"Why are you here?"

"You need me."

"I've always needed you."

"I know. I'm sorry," she apologizes.

Olivia stares at her, willing her tears away.

"All I ever wanted was my mother and... he'd never tell me. All he'd ever say was that it was complicated. Life is complicated, it wasn't an excuse."

"No, it wasn't. I should have realized then what I know now, you are the most important thing. The choice I had to make was not one that anyone should ever face. I wish every day that I had chosen differently."

"Me too."

She lets loose of the item she's been hugging since left the airport. "I brought this for you," she holds out the pink blanket, "It's the blanket I wrapped you in before you left the hospital. When he got home your dad mailed it back to me. He thought that I should have it. And I'm glad that I did. It's unnatural to go into the hospital to have a baby, and come home empty handed. Especially when you know that she's out there in the world, needing you. I couldn't stand the thought of you crying, needing me, and me not being there. I feel like..."

"Didn't you ever wish that you never had me?"

"Not even for a minute."

"Things would be so much easier."

"Life isn't easy Olivia."

"I know."

"I'd like to get to know you, if it's not too late."

"It's not. You never stop needing your mom, and I never had one."

"I'm so sorry."

"You've got the rest of my life to make it up to me."

"I'd do anything, but I know that I can't take back the past, no matter how much either of us want to."

"I only wish that I had known you. I wish that someone had explained it to me. It doesn't make it any more excusable, but... it makes it livable."