Be Nice to Your Parents Who Struggle With Computers
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Takasugi didn't really like computers. They were mystical black boxes that he didn't understand. Or trust. But in the age of fast-moving technology, if people didn't keep up with the pace, they would get left behind like the guy who fell asleep on the toilet while taking a dump and therefore missed his spaceflight, and that certainly wasn't going to help him with his cause of world destruction. Besides, he heard something about the intergalactic network bursting with a wealth of information because people were carelessly posting to these things called "blogs." The name Fumblr came up a lot.
So at the next weekly Kiheitai group meeting, he brought up the topic of investing in a personal computer, but getting one, as it turned out, was more complicated than he'd expected.
"What kind of computer do I want?" Takasugi echoed. "One that I can use."
"Ah no, Shinsuke-sama," Matako said. "I mean, do you want a Doors or an Orange machine?"
Takasugi furrowed his brows. "I don't want doors or oranges. I want a computer."
Takechi piped up. "Can we get broadband Internet access while we're at it? The dial-up we have right now is kind of – "
"Shinsuke," Bansai interrupted. "What do you intend to do with your computer? Security is a vital issue, I daresay."
"I'll simply destroy anyone who tries to take my computer."
"No, I meant cyber security..."
"Broadband Internet – "
"Bansai-senpai, Phoenix machines are on the rise as well, and those don't get viruses or spyware."
Takasugi twitched.
"Phoenix machines are not exactly intuitive for novices, I daresay. Besides – "
"Say no to dial-up – "
"Bansai," Takasugi said suddenly. "Just get me the same computer as yours."