A/N: Again, wow, thanks for all the response guys - it's unbelieveable! Hope you like this chapter, I'm not ensurely happy with it, but I didn't want to leave y'all waiting any longer so here goes:

The Properties Of Dreams

3. Porcia

Bella

The past week had been yet more of the usual monotony, but this time with a few exceptions.

Jake seemed to be treating me differently from usual, ever since Carlisle's call he had been edgy, as though expecting one or more of them to reappear. I had tried to reassure him that none of them would want to see me and therefore had no reason to come back but that hadn't helped. He desperately wanted to know what I would do if they did return and my inability to answer him was driving a wedge between us. It wasn't that I didn't want to answer him, I simply couldn't.

There were other differences as well though; our relationship had been inexplicably changed after that phone call. Although we were nearly back to normal there was a distance between us that, while slightly upsetting, seemed safer than before. His eyes no longer roamed my body whenever he thought I wasn't looking and he made considerably less innuendoes. In fact the majority of the time we were around each other, which was still pretty much constant due to the threat of Victoria, he looked far deeper in thought than I had ever seen before.

Part of me was upset that he apparently no longer found me attractive, not for the sake of my vanity of course but because I was worried he would find someone else. Someone else who would take my place in his life, but at the same time the space it gave me was refreshing.

I was worried about him however, in fact I was worried about all of them; Victoria had not reappeared since Harry Clearwater's funeral, where she had apparently come to taunt the wolves. That hadn't stopped the constant vigil at my house though. Jake insisted on being there every night, usually with another member of the pack for support and, to allow him some time to sleep, I was still spending the majority of my time at the Reservation so he felt I was safe.

Actually, I thought with trepidation, this was quite probably the first time I had been alone since the whole thing had come out after my failed cliff diving. I had insisted on leaving Billy's while Jake was still asleep, not wanting to wake him so I could go home to cook for Charlie.

The thought that I was all alone made me shudder though and I got up to close the window of my room, as though that would help I chuckled darkly.

I jumped, nearly dropping the window on my fingers when the doorbell rang softly.

I made my way downstairs slowly, trying to make as little noise as possible. Surely Victoria would not ring the door before killing me, but then again I wouldn't put anything past her.

The door had rung twice more as I made my way downstairs, although it did not seem impatient, more determined. Well, if it was Victoria surely she would have simply barrelled through the door by now.

Slowly I reach up to the lock and then pulled the door open.

The sight that appeared to me was so unbelievable I blinked but before I had time to open my eyes again she was on me.

"Oh Bella, my dear, dear Bella", one arm was tightly around my waist while the other ran through my hair. "Oh my darling Bella, we thought... oh Bella you have no idea how glad I am to see you."

And then Esme collapsed into my arms, her tearless cries muffled by my shoulder.

It was difficult, and took a huge amount of time but eventually I managed to manoeuvre the rock solid vampire in my arms into the house and the two of us sunk on to the sofa.

She still didn't let go of me and her sobbing continued, what tiny snippets I picked up made no senses. "Alice... vision... Edward... South America... Carlisle... Thought they would be here... But...", I shushed her and began stroking her hair, unsure what exactly was going on.

Time passed. I didn't know how much but eventually her crying quietened. I wondered idly if this is what it had been like to be around me just after he left but the thought that something had hurt her so badly terrified me. I could not bear the thought of her being in pain. Then again he had said I would never see any of them again and yet here Esme was, obviously distraught by something, although I could not fathom what.

"Esme?" my voice was quiet but I knew she would hear me.

She inhaled deeply and turned her body so we were facing one another, although she kept one hand on me, as though afraid to let go.

"What's happened, Esme?" she looked up at me and I saw something I had not expected. She looked timid, afraid and above all confused.

It was strange to see the woman I had thought of as a mother, a rock of emotional support so torn up, she looked much younger than her 70 year old self; indeed she looked younger than the 26 year old woman she had been when she was changed.

"I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean to frighten you, I just... I didn't expect to see you, that's all", I didn't have time to question why she would come to my house and not expect to see me before she continued. "I had come by to speak to Charlie, I... I wasn't expecting you to be here..."

She didn't say anything more, just looked at me even harder though trying to see through me. It was eerily similar to the way Edward would look at me when he was desperately trying to read my thoughts.

"You keep saying that, Esme. Why on earth would you come here, to Forks, to my house, and not expect to see me?" her face was filled with such exquisite pain and anguish in that moment I nearly forgot to breath. She looked down at her hands before answering.

"We thought you were dead Bella... Alice, she saw you throwing yourself off a cliff, she saw you killing yourself. I had come to give Charlie my condolences, among other things."

I looked at her is shock, I had, admittedly, not thought of that.

"Well as you can see I'm not dead", best to clear up that little misunderstanding first. She nodded but still looked at me questioningly. "And I wasn't trying to kill myself. I was cliff diving."

"Cliff diving?" her voice betrayed some doubt but also interest and I couldn't help but smile. I could just imagine the reaction he would have to that, he would have gone crazy. It was funny how much easier it was to think about him now, maybe I was nearly reaching the point where I would be able to hear his name without freaking out. A major relief seeing as I couldn't see a conversation with Esme going by without him coming up.

I realised I hadn't responded and quickly tried to think of information I could add so she would believe me.

"I was out with my friend Jake", I figured a little lie was a good idea here but she was still looking at me searchingly.

"Alice didn't see anyone else in her vision", her golden eyes were probing my own but I had started now so I continued.

"They had already jumped in", I was getting good at this, although I couldn't quite understand why I was having to defend myself to her anyway, now that I had got over my shock that she was here my anger was making a bit of a come back.

"They?"

"Jake and some of his friends, they're all from out at La Push."

She was gazing at me, concern filling her face now and she bit her lip but still did not say anything for a couple of minutes.

"So, you weren't trying to kill yourself...?"

"No", at least that part was true. I had not gone to the cliffs with the aim of killing myself, although I had come close anyway.

"Alice didn't see that bit", her voice trembled.

"Esme", I moved closer, suddenly desperate to comfort this woman I had loved as dearly as my own mother. "You said you wanted to talk to Charlie... what's happened? Is this why Carlisle tried to get in touch with him last week?"

She sat up quickly; "Carlisle called last week?" she looked suspicious although it wasn't directed at me.

"Yes, he spoke to one of my friends, I wasn't feeling well. He asked for Charlie then hung up when Jake said he was out." She looked even more confused but didn't say anything so I kept going. "There is something else going on here Esme, what is it? All this isn't just because you thought I was dead."

It sounded self depreciating but it was true. None of them had cared enough to say goodbye to me, why would they care now and Esme was obviously still upset about something, she had almost chocked over Alice's name earlier.

"Well of course we were all devastated by what Alice saw..."

I could see her searching for the words but I didn't help. I had a horribly suspicion she was going to apologise for the way they had all left me and I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear her apologise for how they left, not one of them bothering to say goodbye to me or contact me since then. I especially didn't want to hear her apologise for him, for how he had left me, for the months of pain that had followed his departure, for the brutality of his final act; stripping me over every ounce of self-respect and esteem I had and leaving me alone in the forest. His actions were those of a coward, a man too afraid to be with me but at the same time willing to break me so I could never be with anyone else. And they had allowed it, however indirectly the whole family had allowed him to act like that, to leave like they were cowards too.

She was talking again but I was barely registering her words, I was so caught up in my anger towards him. She I could maybe forgive, if Edward had told them not to speak to me I knew they wouldn't defy him, they couldn't without his knowledge... but him, him I could maybe forgive... but I didn't think I would ever forget.

"... I don't think she knew what her actions would cause, she thought she was doing it for the best but by the time Alice saw it... it must have been too late because we can't find either of them. Of course Carlisle has contacted the Volturi but they deny any knowledge of either of their whereabouts so I thought they might have come here. I wanted to check on them."

"The Volturi?" it was the first thing I had understood since she began talking and I turned to look at her and immediately panicked. I could remember Edward talking about the three brothers who ruled over the vampire world and shuddered, not at their eerily pale skin in Carlisle's painting or the fear they had instilled in me but at the pain that a happy memory of Edward incurred.

She gazed back and, apparently, realised I had lost the drift of the conversation.

"Yes..." she slowed down, obviously trying to work out which point I may have lost it at. "When he heard you were dead he went straight to them. Apparently stowed away on the first flight out of Rio, Alice saw it and called Rosalie..." she shuddered but I still wasn't sure what she was talking about. "We know Alice got there with the aim of finding him before he... but we haven't heard from either of them in seven days now. I don't know where they are... we were all so certain they would have come here"

"Who came here?" I was still lost, desperately trying to work out what important point I had been missing.

"Edward and Alice, Bella... they're missing."

My heart started the pound uncontrollably and suddenly, inexplicably, it all started to make a very horrible kind of sense, he had told him I was dead. He had gone to the Volturi to... to...

"But... but... that doesn't make any sense!" I was practically shouting, my face flooding with blood and I could feel the pricking of threatening tears, my emotions taking control of me. "Why would he do that? He didn't love me! He said so! Why would he do that?"

Esme was looking at me but I couldn't see her anymore. Apparently was healing was not quite complete, hearing his name from someone else's lips had pushed me over the ledge once again and I was hanging on for dear life to stop myself regressing back to the zombie I had been before.

"He didn't want me anymore... why would he?" I demanded from her.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.

There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent.

"You… don't… want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.

"No."

"It wasn't Carlisle on the phone was it? Jake said Charlie was at the hospital", Esme shook her head, a pained look on her face.

"I promised..." I thought back to the oath he had forced me to make. "He made me promise..."

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid."

"He was meant to do the same thing..."

"He was meant to do what, Bella?" I jumped at the sound of Esme's voice. I had nearly forgotten that she was here, so lost in the memory of Edward's hard face dismissing me.

"He told me to be safe... he was meant to do the same thing."

Her eyes widened and mouth opened to form a perfect o.

We realised at the same moment what must have happened when he had heard I had jumped. He had thought that I had broken my promise and had blamed himself, blamed himself for my death and decided...

"But you said the Volturi didn't know where they were", my thoughts turned to Alice, my sister who had left so quickly, unwilling to even stop to say goodbye, who must have surely seen my months of torment after their departure and had done nothing to ease my suffering. But somehow I knew it would be her who would go after him, to try to prevent his untimely death...

"Yes", Esme's voice was harder now and I glanced up, catching her eyes. "Carlisle has spoken to Aro several times on the phone. He claims that Edward approached them but never returned for their answer", she pursed her lips, apparently disbelieving of Aro. "Rose and Emmett are considering going to Italy to try and get some answers", her eyes softened at the mention of her children. "I think Rose blames herself for telling him... I believe Alice was quite unforgiving on the phone."

"So they might not be dead?" my voice rose slightly with relief, despite my displeasure with all of them, him in particular, despite the pain in the chest, my hatred mixed with the remnants of love I still felt and I knew, no matter what, I did not want him dead.

"No", her words were careful. "They might not be dead... I thought they might be here, I thought, perhaps, they had come to see Charlie", I glanced around, almost hopefully as though they would emerge from the shadows of the room and confess they had been here all along. "But I knew as soon as I arrived they had not. I should call Carlisle, he doesn't know where I am... he didn't think I should come, we were so certain they would be here and he wanted to give them time to grieve."

My heart sunk. No, if they truly believed I was dead they would have no reason to come here. If Alice convinced him his guilt over my 'death' was unnecessary they would have no reason to.

"I'm sorry for coming Bella, Carlisle told me not to and I should have listened. I should have turned back as soon as I knew they hadn't been here. I shouldn't have come when you asked us not to."

That caught me off guard.

"I... I asked you not to?" what was she talking about?

Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"Yes..." she suddenly looked very confused, as though searching for the missing piece in a puzzle. "When you split up with Edward", well that was an interesting titbit. My whole face blanched but she continued on, obviously wanting to finish what she had to say. "He told us you didn't want to see us again, that you wanted a clean break", she looked so ashamed, so upset, her whole face broke , unfortunately I had the opposite reaction, I felt my face go red, my pulse begin hammering in my veins and suddenly I realised with relish that this was an emotion towards Edward I could deal with, suddenly I was very , very angry.

"HE TOLD YOU WHAT?" my voice echoed around the small house and Esme shrank away from me briefly before throwing her arms around me once more.

"I knew you wouldn't say that, I knew you wouldn't want us to leave without saying goodbye", she was crying again although no tears were falling and tried to reach her arms around me but I couldn't put my arm around her, I couldn't even move, my whole body was shaking with anger.

I had to extract myself from her, I was so worried I would lash out I stood up from the sofa. My mind was desperately trying to comprehend what was going on.

"He told you I didn't want to see you?"

My voice was low, nearly a growl.

She nodded mutely, her face shocked at the strength of my reaction. I sank to my knees, still in the middle of the room.

"He told you I broke up with him?" my voice broke and Esme stared at me in confusion.

"You... you didn't break up with him?" her voice seemed far away.

"No, I didn't-"

The front door opened and I heard Charlie shuffle in. Both of us gazed at the door of the living room, waiting for his appearance and I stood up quickly, trying to hide my emotions.

"Bells?" his voice came from the hall and I called him into the living room.

He jumped when he caught sight of Esme but quickly righted himself.

"Mrs Cullen, to what do we owe the pleasure?"

His words were welcoming but the tone made it quite clear she had caught him by surprise.

Esme immediately jumped to her feet and went over to greet him.

"Oh Chief, please call me Esme. I'm sorry to be round so late, I was in the area and couldn't pass by without stopping in the check on Bella."

He glanced round her to take a look at me and I tried to make myself as presentable as possible but I was sure he could tell the conversation had bothered me. My cheeks felt hot and the back of my eyes were pricking, my brain racing as I thought of everything I had learnt in the past hour.

"Well it's a pleasure to have you Esme", he smiled at her though I could still see trepidation in his eyes. "Is it just you visiting us...?" he glanced round as though expecting the rest of the Cullens to appear from the kitchen.

"No, no", her assurances were swift and she glanced at me questioningly. "It's just me."

That cheered him up considerably.

"Oh, well then..." he turned to look at me and then glanced back towards Esme and quickly round the room. I watched his eyes making each movement, wondering what was going through his mind. "Bells, do you think you could go grab us some drinks from the kitchen? And maybe a snack, it's getting a bit late to start dinner."

I knew immediately what he was doing, he wanted me out the room to question Esme about Edward but I couldn't think of a reason to stay so simply slunk off down the hall to the sound of Esme's "nothing for me".

I tried to be as quiet as possible while fixing two glasses of juice and two sandwiches for Charlie and I. The odd word floated in from the other room, Edward's name and Switzerland, and then Esme asking about me after they left, I heard her gasp of horror as Charlie mentioned the forest, my nightmares, Renee coming to try and take me home.

"...it was like she was a different person."

I banged loudly in the hall and Charlie cut off his sentence quickly. I wasn't happy he had spoken to Esme about what her son had done but at least it meant I didn't have to. I didn't think I could speak about what had happened yet. I had obviously missed some of the nuances of their conversation as when I looked up from placing the tray on the table Esme's eyes looked like they were brimming over again and I was forced to look away.

No one spoke as I sat down and lifted a sandwich to my mouth.

"Well, it's getting late", Esme glanced at her watch. "I should be going", she looked at Charlie with a look of concern on her face and I was surprised when he smiled back at her. "I think I'll be staying in town for a little while... after what we've spoken of." She glanced at both of us meaningfully. "I'll see you both soon... Bella", she looked round at me and I glanced up, my mouth still full, "perhaps you could walk me out?"

I tried to swallow too quickly and failed but managed to nod and stand up to follow her to the door. By the time we reached it I had just managed to get it down without choking.

"I hope that you don't mind I am staying Bella, it appears there are many more questions that need answering than I previously thought", I nodded dumbly as she continued, "I am going to call Carlisle, there is a good chance he will want to join me here... Rose and Emmett had spoken of travelling to Europe to see the Volturi and talk to them in person which I think is even more necessary now but I would like to check that it is ok if Jasper joins me also."

"Of course it is, why wouldn't it be?" but I needn't have asked. Of course Edward had blamed the incident with Jasper for my 'leaving' him, a concept I still hadn't quite come to terms with. Esme seemed to realise this too and sagged slightly. "I never blamed Jasper for what happened, Esme. You have to let him know that. He must hate me, his wife is missing because of me, or at least he will when he realises I'm alive". I couldn't help but giggle hysterically.

"He doesn't hate you Bella, Jasper has had a hard couple of months, him and Alice... well it's not my place to talk about it but, but he will be so relieved to know that you are both alive and willing to have him here", she listened to the air briefly then turned to me. "I better go; I think Charlie is shuffling because he's worried about where you are. I told him Edward and Alice are in Europe at school, in case he mentions it, while Rosalie and Emmett are at college at Dartmouth", she sniffed at the air and winced slightly. "Be careful, Bella. Call me if you need anything, anything."

"I will Esme... will I see you again?" I was almost nervous to ask. I had missed her so much since they had left, the idea of being able to see any one of them again was overwhelming me with emotions.

"Of course my dear", she leant down to kiss me lightly on the cheek. "I will be here whenever you want me, always".

I couldn't help but pull her into a hug. Tonight had been a rollercoaster of emotion but I couldn't deny my relief about being able to see her again.

After maybe a minute of Esme cradling me against her cold body she whispered lightly in my ear, "Charlie sounds like he is about to come out. I have to go but I will see you soon my dear, I promise", and then she was gone. I was holding air and she had already jumped into Carlisle's dark Mercedes. I couldn't help but wonder what he had thought when he realised both it and Esme were missing and before I knew it she was gone, the lights of the car disappearing into the darkness at the end of the street.

"Bella!" Charlie must have heard the car as it left. I quickly closed the door and made my way back to the living room.

He had turned the television on in my absence and I sank down heavily on the sofa next to him.

"Tough night, Bells?" he turned his eyes from the game to glance at the heap I had created next to him. I nodded, not meeting his eyes.

"Aye, thought so", we slipped back into silence as he passed me the remains of my sandwich and I quickly ate it and threw my juice back before making my excuses and heading upstairs to bed.

My mind was still pounding with all the new information I had to process as I lay down on my bed.

I still couldn't quite comprehend that Edward had told his family I had split up with him, and that I didn't want to speak to them. It had been dirty and underhanded of him to even think of it. I shuddered to think of what they had thought of me, throwing them all aside and realised I understood exactly, it was just what had been done to me also. I was also disgusted that he had cited Jasper as the cause of our parting, he knew better than anyone I had forgiven Jasper the moment that had happened.

It was all my fault, I should never have been silly enough to cut myself in a house full of vampires, it was an invitation to be bitten.

It must have destroyed Jasper to think that he was the reason for the family having to move.

Surely Alice must have known the truth; she must have seen that he was planning to leave me, and not the other way around. And why hadn't she known I survived from my experience last week?

My mind was suddenly brought back to the most pressing issue. Edward had gone to Italy, gone to see the Volturi and Alice had followed him, and now... now they were both missing.

I went over what Esme had told me about the succession of events and the obvious doubts she had about what Aro had told Carlisle. It had been my impression that Carlisle and Aro had been friends; would he really lie to him? But then, what else could have happened to them? I was going to have to talk to Esme again, get the whole story in order to understand. I was just thinking about the conversation she must be having with Carlisle at this very moment when a heard a loud crack on my window.

I jumped up, knowing only one person who would consider my second floor window an appropriate entrance. Although maybe that was going to change with some of the Cullen's back in town... bah, stop being silly Bella, it's only Esme, Carlisle and Jasper who are coming back. None of them will be making late night visits to my room.

I opened the window and stood back as Jake leapt into the tree and then to my room. His arms were around me in moments, cradling me close to him.

"What the hell happened? Why didn't you wake me before you left? Are you trying to kill yourself? You're ok though", he was patting me down as though searching for injuries. "You're ok... you're ok. What the hell happened Bella? Why aren't you dead?"

I pushed myself back and looked incredulously at him.

"Why the hell does everyone think I am meant to be fucking dead?"

His face was confused now and he looked a little embarrassed by my outburst. I couldn't recall a time I had sworn in front of him before, in fact I couldn't recall a time I had swore in front of anyone. Jake's face returned to normal and he moved towards me again, as though unwilling to let him away from me.

"I can smell it... all over the house... all over you."

"You can smell what, Jake?"

He wrinkled up his nose, "vampire".

"Oh that", I couldn't believe I hadn't realised he would know Esme had been here. "Don't worry Jake, it's wasn't Victoria", I expected that to calm him but instead he tensed up further.

"Was it him?" his voice was thunder and I trembled slightly as I shook my head.

"No", it came out barely a squeak,"Esme."

"His mom?"

"Well, yes, I suppose you could call her that."

He sat down heavily on my bed and I worried Charlie would hear him from downstairs but he didn't come up.

"Hurry up and get talking Bells, I want to hear everything..."

I fell back on my bed and felt it dip underneath his weight as he sat next to me. This was going to be one seriously long night.

A/N: So, was worth me getting it out now or should I have tweaked some bits before? Did you guys hate the whole Edward lying shabang? Felt a bit cliche writing it but I felt it was the only way to explain all of them leaving without saying anything (I always found it a bit unbelieveable in the books they were so willing to listen to Edward when he was obviously making such a bad decision).

Speaking of problem chapters I was thinking of trying to get a beta for this thing so if anyone out there in ff-world has the spare time to help me out let me know, by either leaving a review or messaging me. Thanks again for reading guys ^_^