Chapter 3: Uncertain steps.
Opening the door to his apartment, Akashi quickly took off his shoes and locked the door. Upon reaching the living room, he placed his briefcase and blazer onto the couch and headed towards his room. He slammed the door shut.
"Damn it!" He banged both fists against the door frame as he bent forward and leaned his head against the door. He was angry at himself for being so useless. As he remembered what Kuroko said earlier once more, he banged his fists once more. Tears were starting to blur his eyes as they attempted to flow down his cheeks. He resisted. No matter what the circumstances, Akashi Seijūro will not cry. He held back the tears as he stood up to prepare to go take a bath.
He clenched his fists as he walked towards his closet.
Akashi Seijūro will not cry.
He kept repeating that in his mind like a mantra.
He banged his fists against the wall, this time leaning his head on the wall too.
After a while, he stopped, as a tear slid down slowly on his left cheek, almost invisible under the dim moonlight shining into his room from the windows.
His hands were red and were stinging with pain, due to the impact against the door as well as the walls.
He turned and leaned against the wall on his back as he stared at the night sky through his windows.
"Damn it."
The morning sun blinded his eyes the moment he opens them. Using his right hand to block the sun rays, Kuroko sat up quickly on his bed. He rubbed his tired eyes and blink them open. Looking to his left outside the window, he admired the beautiful park that was filled with children of all ages running up and down the small hills. He chuckled at the sight. Somehow, seeing the children playing so innocently and freely made him really happy. Smiling, he got off the bed and with the help of his crutches, he barely managed to reach the bathroom and started washing up, expecting visitors to fill his room soon. When he was finally done, especially with his ridiculous bed head, he got back to the bed and opened the drawer of the bed-side table. Reaching for the book that lay in the wooden drawers, he flipped to the page he stopped previously and started reading.
The first thing Akashi did was groan. He wasn't a morning person, and since it was still nine in the morning, the red-head can't help but to stop his alarm and then turn around to bury his head into his pillow. After a few minutes of laying still, he sigh as he finally forced himself to sit up on his bed. The blanket slid down his body to reveal his well-toned naked body. Akashi always slept half-naked in bed, somehow disliking the feeling of fabric on his body when he sleeps and hence, he only sleeps in a pair of long sweat pants. His eyes were red, no doubt from the crying last night, not that he will admit though. Getting off, he walked towards the window and drew open the curtains. Wrong move. He closed his eyes to prevent the sun rays from blinding his eyes and immediately drew the curtains. Sighing in relief now that his eyes aren't hurting anymore, he walked towards his closet to grab a set of what he thought were casual clothes before going into his bathroom to have a shower.
After getting out of his shower, he put on his chosen set of clothes. Realising that his outfit was actually quite formal, since it was a grey dress shirt and a pair of black jeans, he decided to untuck his shirt to make it seem less formal. Satisfied with his outfit, he put on a pair of black gloves and grabbed his wallet, phone and keys and left the house for the hospital in his car.
Walking briskly towards the room Kuroko was in, Akashi kept thinking of what to say when he meets the teal-head. He slowed his walking pace, not yet confident that he was able to initiate a conversation after what happened yesterday. One might laugh that the overly conceited Akashi Seijuro has times when he is not confident about something, but nothing always goes right for him when he is dealing with the teal-head. If one would say it nicely, it was just that the red-head has a soft spot for the teal-head, which is quite true. But, since Kuroko was as manipulative as Akashi, the latter will always find himself giving in to the teal-head's requests. An example being that there was once where Kuroko had gotten a fever due to the change of seasons at one point of time and despite how unhealthy it was, he still managed to persuade Akashi to letting him drink a cup of vanilla milkshake. In the end, his fever got worse because he didn't have consumed enough nutrients. Akashi decided to ban Kuroko from drinking his vanilla milkshake then, but seeing the pouting teal-head, his heart gave in and he didn't set the plan in motion. He will, someday...
Smiling as he recalled the events where he couldn't help but comply to the teal-head wishes, Akashi didn't realize that he had reached Kuroko's room. Holding onto the handle of the door, he hesitated for a moment. Events from last night kept replaying in his mind. With a soft sigh, he pulled down the handle and pushed opened the door. What surprised him was the sight before him. The teal-head was lying on the bed frame in a sitting posture while his hands rested on a book which was resting on his laps. Yes, from the looks of it, he fell asleep while reading a book. The teal-head's chest pulsed up and down and his sleeping face look like he was at peace as his breathing was soft and regular. Chuckling softly to himself at the cute sight before him, he gently turned to close the door and walked quietly towards the chair beside the bed and sat down, with his back facing the door. Once he was seated, he bent forward and gingerly removed the book from the teal-head's hands and placed it on the table. He then reached up towards the teal-head's face and brushed the teal locks gently. Smiling to himself, he let his mind wandered off as he stared at the sleeping teal-head. A sense of nostalgia flowed in him as he reminisce of the past times of how he always lulled the teal-head to sleep and could watch him sleep for a couple of hours before he himself went to sleep beside the teal-head.
Unbeknownst to the both of them, the door creaked open and a raven-haired male entered the room. He smiled as he noticed the red-head was there and was so focused on Kuroko he didn't even noticed him entering the room. He took light steps and walked over towards Akashi and soon noticed that the teal-head was sleeping.
"Hello, Akashi." The raven-haired male whispered softly, not wanting to wake Kuroko up.
Startled, Akashi widened his eyes and flinched a little before turning to see who called to him and sighed internally as he realised he was caught off guard. No matter the situation, Akashi always lets his guard down whenever he is with Kuroko. Realizing who the other person was, he nodded in acknowledgement and returned his greetings.
"It's good to see you, Izuki-san"
"It looks like Kuroko's condition is getting better."
"Yes, it is."
And no words were exchanged ever since the raven-haired male sat down on the chair beside the bed across Akashi. The silence was awkward for the both of them, as neither has been alone with the other before, well excluding the now sleeping Kuroko. A few minutes passed as Izuki kept wondering what he should say to the red-head, until the latter spoke up and broke the silence.
"Thank you, for coming to see Tetsuya." Akashi whispered softly, though loud enough for the other party to hear.
Stunned for a brief moment, Izuki then started chuckling as he held a hand to his mouth in attempt to stop but failed as he continued laughing. Akashi questionably raised an eyebrow, confused as to why a sentence of gratitude for him was so funny.
Finally stopping his laughter and noticing the stare the red-head was giving him, he put up both his hands in front of him in attempt to try to not let the red-head misunderstand. "Sorry, Akashi. it's just that, you don't have to say thank you at all. I'm also Kuroko's friend, of course I will come and see him."
"...Yes. That is of course true." Akashi felt his lips curve up a little. Tetsuya, you have really good friends...
"Both Hyūga and Kiyoshi wanted to come too, but it seems that both of them couldn't make it today. Kiyoshi is coming tomorrow though, while Hyūga might come the day after tomorrow. Akashi, you're still coming everyday right?"
"That doesn't need to be said. Of course I am going to come everyday." Akashi smirked.
"You really are head over heels for Kuroko." Izuki chuckled.
"He's the best and most wonderful person I can have."
"Who... are you talking about?" Kuroko stirred in his bed before he started to sit up and rubbed his tired eyes. "Ah... I fell asleep..."
"Tetsuya! Sorry, were we too loud?" Akashi apologised frantically, worried as he didn't meant to wake the teal-head up.
"Hello Kuroko. It's been a while." Izuki smiled as he ruffled the teal-head's dishevelled hair, making it even more messy.
Looking towards Izuki, Kuroko pried Izuki's hand off his hair as he pouted. Izuki laughed at the teal-head's action, though he immediately stopped and look shocked as Kuroko asked him, "Who are you?"
"Eh? Kuroko, you don't remember me? I'm Izuki." Izuki pointed to himself as he tried to make Kuroko remember.
"Eh? Izuki-senpai?" Kuroko widened his eyes, startled. "Sorry, I didn't recognise you... You look very different..." Kuroko said as he scanned the said man from head to toe.
Izuki breathed a sigh of relief. For a moment, he thought Kuroko had forgotten all about him. In the end it was just because he looked different. Of course, since instead of the usual sweat shirt and pants he always wore, now he was wearing a light blue dress shirt and black trousers, with a dark blue tie, not to mention, his fringe was gelled to the back which made him look smarter.
"But, if the two of you are here, you guys should have woken me up..." Kuroko said as he yawned once more.
"We wouldn't want to disturb your rest you know. You are still recovering." Izuki smiled.
"That's right, Tetsuya." Akashi said as he tried to fix the teal-head's bed hair. Kuroko squirmed under Akashi's touch and he then held onto Akashi's hands.
"Akashi-kun, I can do it myself." Kuroko pouted a little, disliking the feeling of someone touching his hair. Akashi reluctantly retracted his hands off of Kuroko's hair and placed them beside him. Izuki observed them, confused with their actions.
"...All right. Tetsuya, would you like something to eat? I will get it for you." Akashi said as he narrowed his eyes a little in sadness.
Eyes lighting up at the suggestion, Kuroko immediately opened his mouth to say something but was stopped by Akashi. "Except for the vanilla milkshakes."
Frowning a little, Kuroko managed an inaudible "Then, I will have green tea..."
"Good." Akashi smiled as he stood up and left the room, leaving the other two alone.
"Kuroko, how are you feeling? When can you be discharged?" Izuki pressed the teal-head for answers. Since Akashi was in the room until just now, the raven-haired didn't dare to bombard Kuroko with questions. The atmosphere was just too tense for him to do so.
"I'm fine. And the doctors said if everything goes well, including my physical therapy, I can be discharged next week." Kuroko smiled, relieved that he can get to go home soon.
"I see. That's good! We can have a welcoming back party!"
"Eh?"
"It's been a while and I bet you want to see the others too, right?" Izuki smiled. "It's a party to congratulate you from recovering!"
Kuroko blinked as he registered Izuki's words and gaped a little. "Is it okay to have... a party... for such a reason?"
"Of course! Oh! And we definitely have to order some steak!" Izuki's face suddenly turned serious.
"...Why?" Kuroko cautiously asked.
"I don't eat steak often..." Izuki smirked. "But when I do, it's rare."
"..."
"..."
"... It's not funny?"
"To be honest, it isn't." Kuroko said, deadpanned.
"Eh?..." Izuki sighed sadly but recovered quickly when Kuroko started chuckling. He smiled and patted the teal-head. "It's nice to see you laugh again."
"Thank you, Izuki-senpai."
"By the way Kuroko, have you recovered your memories yet?"
"Why!? What's wrong with him!?" Midorima's eyebrow arched in irritation and confusion as he gripped his lucky item; a glass jar and his cell phone tighter after reading the message he got from a certain purple-head.
From: Murasakibara
Subject: Mido-chin is stingy.
Mido-chin is stingy. STINGY Mido-chin. Stingy. Stingy. Stingy. I hate you, Mido-chin!
Annoyed, he typed back a reply.
To: Murasakibara
Subject: Re: Mido-chin is stingy.
Why? I didn't do anything!
Midorima grunted in frustration and pushed up his glasses as he clasped his cell phone shut, but to only have it vibrate a few seconds later. Opening it, he froze on the spot as he read the message.
From: Murasakibara
Subject: Stupid Mido-chin.
You didn't invite me to come and see Kuro-chin yesterday. Even though Aka-chin and everyone else went. Do you know how lonely I was? Mido-chin is so stingy. You left me out. I hate you Mido-chin.
"Harh?! Wait... one, two, three, four... He's right, everyone else was there except for him..." Midorima muttered under his breath as he realised the four of them indeed left the purple-head out. He sighed in realisation and immediately replied back a 'You can come today if you want...'.
He waited for the vibrations of his phone to indicate a new message as he walked down the corridor towards Kuroko's ward but nothing came. Stopping along the corridor, he glared at his phone as if his phone will mysteriously start vibrating if he stared at it. He waited for a few minutes, but the phone didn't vibrate.
"Now he's ignoring me?" Midorima shrieked in frustration as he slipped his phone back into his coat pockets. He let his hand run through his green locks as he huffed and continued walking. That person's logic is out of this world... He sighed as he doesn't know how to deal with Murasakibara anymore. Walking towards Kuroko's ward, he thought of ideas to calm the stubborn purple-head. But his thoughts were disrupted when he saw a familiar red-head leaving Kuroko's room, and he called out to him.
"Akashi, you're early." Midorima commented and the red-head turned to meet him in the eyes. His eyes look swollen... Midorima noted.
"Ah... Shintarō." The red-head responded back as he removed his hands from the door's handle. He suddenly remembered and quickly hid his hands from the green-head. But his gloved hands did not go unnoticed by the doctor.
"It's rare for you to be wearing gloves... Don't tell me-"
"It's none of your concern, Shintarō." The red-head interjected before Midorima could continue. But, the green-head did not give up in persuading the stubborn red-head.
"Akashi, as a doctor, it's my job to heal people's wounds. I cannot just ignore an injured person like that, what's more someone who is in front of me right now, and especially so when we are in a hospital now."
"I said, it's none of your concern, Shintarō." Akashi hissed and the green-head flinched a little as the red-head emphasized his name. "Do I have to repeat myself?"
"...Akashi, I truly believe that Kuroko wouldn't want to see you like this." Midorima sighed. "So please just let me look at the wound."
Akashi stood still for a while before finally sighing. He took off his gloves and showed his hand for the doctor to inspect.
Midorima widened his eyes as he saw how swollen Akashi's hand was. And what's more, the red-head didn't even bother to apply medicine on in. "Oi Akashi, I'm going to need to disinfect that hand." He gestured for the red-head to follow him, but the red-head just glared fiercely at the doctor as his heterochromatic eyes flickered dangerously.
"I said it's none of your concern." Akashi turned around and was about to start walking towards the direction of the cafeteria when the green-head grabbed him lightly by the shoulder.
"Oi Akashi! You should really come with me to my office. Those hands of yours are-"
"Shintarō..." Akashi was seething with anger, the green-head doctor could tell. It has been a while since Akashi was this mad that Midorima can't help but quickly remove his hand from Akashi's shoulder and take a step back. The red-head then sigh and continued to walk towards the stairs which will lead to the cafeteria.
"Akashi! As I thought, it's better for me to treat your hand! Or else how do you think Kuroko will feel if he knew what happened to you?" Midorima quickly exclaimed before Akashi could stop him midway again.
This time, Akashi stopped in his track and whispered something quite inaudibly, to which Midorima barely managed to catch it and he widened his eyes as he understood what the red-head just said.
"All right, I will let you treat my hand. But, as for what Kuroko will feel, it doesn't matter anymore..."
"No... I can't remember anything at all..." Kuroko lowered his head as he gripped his blanket tighter.
"I-I see." Izuki stuttered, blaming himself for making the atmosphere so awkward by asking such a question. But he can't help it, especially after seeing how Kuroko and Akashi acted just now. It wasn't a secret anymore that the two of them were dating more than half a year ago, before the accident that caused Kuroko to go into coma. Actually, it was a sort of an opened secret. Only the close friends of Kuroko and Akashi knew about the two of them together.
"But, Akashi-kun said that he will help me." Kuroko turned to smile at Izuki.
"Eh?"
They sat down in Midorima's office and the green-head doctor immediately started disinfecting Akashi's swollen hands.
"Akashi, what did you mean by that just now?" The green-head narrowed his eyes and scanned the heavily swollen hands of Akashi. Midorima grimaced a little as he started bandaging Akashi's hands. How in the world did he manage to do this to his hands?
"He knew... about his condition... about his memories." Akashi sighed as he stared at his bandaged hands as Midorima worked to tightened the bandage.
"Then... what did you tell him?" Midorima asked as he kept the medical supplies back into the first aid kit.
"..."
"Why Tetsuya? Don't you want to know what happened in the past five years?" Akashi asked weakly. He couldn't comprehend what the teal-head was thinking. Any normal person would definitely be curious and want to know what happened in the time of their lost memories. But, why wouldn't Kuroko want to?
Kuroko brought both his knees close to his chest and hugged them before replying, "Even if I know, I can't remember any of the things that happened. Five years is too long a time. That blank space in my memory, it scares me. But no matter how much I tried, I just can't remember anything; what I felt, what I experienced, what I did. It's no use at all. I don't want that. To only know and can't remember anything, I feel like I'm letting all my friends down. Sometimes I just wished those five years never happened, then I wouldn't worry about it so much. I forgot what I did with them, the times we spent together. That's why, if I want to know what happened the last five years, I would rather just remember it myself than let others tell me what happened... Or else, I won't be able to answer to all of you..."
"But-" Akashi immediately stopped himself as he saw how much the teal-head was restraining himself from crying any further. Kuroko was looking at Akashi with swollen red eyes that look like tears could fall out again any moment. Akashi let the breath that he didn't realise he held it in him escape his mouth. He let his lips form a straight line and narrowed his eyes a little. He stood up from his seat and went forward to hug the teal-head. It was a simple gesture, no intentions whatsoever but to only comfort the teal-head. The confused teal-head jerked a little before relaxing his body to the warmth of Akashi's body. As Kuroko was enjoying the warmth from the other male, Akashi brought his mouth beside Kuroko's right ear and whispered softly. "Then, at least allow me to help you regain your memories... please..." The last word went almost inaudible to the teal-head but he still heard it.
"...Akashi-kun is too kind. Thank you, Akashi-kun," and the two didn't move from their positions for a while as they allow the comfortable silence to last a little longer.
"All right, that's enough for today." Akashi broke the silence and pulled back from the hug as he began to tuck Kuroko back to the bed. "Your body is still weak, so rest all you can." The red-head began stroking the teal locks as he showed one of his rare genuine smiles.
"Yes." Kuroko complied and closed his eyes. A few minutes later, soft even breathings could be heard from the lying male. Realising that Kuroko had fallen asleep, Akashi gingerly picked up his briefcase and headed for the door. Turning back to look at the sleeping male once more, he then opened the door softly and exited the room.
Akashi by then, wasn't as calm as anyone had thought he was.
"..." Midorima couldn't say anything. He didn't know what to say.
"It's just so like him to do this..." Akashi whispered as he clenched and unclenched his hands repeatedly to get used to the bandages around his hand. "I said I would help him... But it was a spur of the moment. I don't even know how I can help him..."
"Akashi..."
"Enough of the talk. I have to go get the green tea." Akashi stood up and headed for the door, but stopped as he remembered something. "One more thing, Shintarō. Help to calm Atsushi down. He has been sending irritating messages to my cell phone that I don't want to have anything to do with it nor will I try to deal with it anymore. Get him some snacks or something when he visits Tetsuya later. This is your punishment to redeem yourself for your stubborn actions earlier." Akashi selfishly said before finally opening the door of Midorima's office and left.
Only after the red-head slammed the door shut did Midorima widened his eyes in realisation. He shrieked and banged hard on his desk, almost smashing his lucky item in the process.
"I don't want to deal with him either!"
"I-I see." For the second time of the day, Izuki stammered awkwardly. "That's good for you, I guess?" Izuki chuckled awkwardly, unsure of what to say anymore.
"Yes... You seem quite close with Akashi-kun." Kuroko bluntly stated. The teal-head thought it was weird for the normally cold red-head would be close to someone else other than his teammates. He didn't think it was possible in the first place.
"Ah... Well a lot did happen. Mostly it's because of you."
Kuroko was dumbfounded. "Eh? Me?"
"Yeah. The two of you were very close and somehow all of us just got dragged along. Hahaha! Actually, now that I think of it, it's quite funny, especially Kiyoshi's and Kagami's reaction when they found out about the two of you da-" Before Izuki continued, as if on cue, the door burst open, revealing a Murasakibara carrying several large and small plastic bags which one can guess they contain food inside.
"Kuro-chin~ Good morning~" Murasakibara chirped lazily. Putting down the bags of snacks and food on the table, he reached out to ruffle Kuroko's soft teal hair.
Kuroko twitched in annoyance, before slapping away Murasakibara's giant hand. "Stop that, Murasakibara-kun. And hello."
Beside them was Izuki sighing in relief. Damn, I got caught up in the moment and almost spilled what I wasn't supposed to spill. Thank god Murasakibara came...
Opening the bags to reveal what seems to be homemade cookies, the purple-head immediately opened the container and shoved a piece of cookie onto Kuroko's hand. "Kuro-chin~ It's vanilla cookies, have a try."
"Kuroko popped the cookie into his mouth and after chewing for a few bites, he widened his teal orbs in delight. The sweet taste of Vanilla slowly etched onto Kuroko's tongue as he bit the cookie. The flavor wasn't too strong, and it was very appetizing. "Murasakibara-kun, did you make this?" Kuroko asked eagerly.
"Yeah~"
"It's... delicious. Thank you, Murasakibara-kun."
Murasakibara's eyes sparkled in happiness, no doubt the purple-head was happy of the simple compliment. He immediately shoved more cookies onto Kuroko's hand, in attempt to make him eat more. Then, once again, the door burst opened, though this time it was a frustrated Midorima who had his hand running through his hair. When the green-head saw the purple-head male, he immediately gasped and then growled.
"Oi Murasakibara!"
"..." Murasakibara ignored him and just continued staring at his home-made cookies. Midorima's eyes twitched in irritation.
"Oi Murasakibara! Stop ignoring me! It's irritating!"
"..."
"... All right! I will buy you snacks to make up for yesterday! So stop being so childish!" Midorima sighed as he gave in to the purple-head once more since a week ago.
"For one week." Murasakibara turned around to face the doctor behind him and the two started negotiating. "Treat me to snacks for one week and I'll forgive you."
"Wha- One week?! That's absurd! No way!"
"One week."
"... Three days."
"One week."
"Five."
"One week."
"...All right! One week it is!" Midorima grunted reluctantly, which earned muffled laughter from both Kuroko and Izuki. "Stop it!" Midorima hissed.
"Yay! Kuro-chin! Zuki-chin! Mido-chin is going to buy me snacks!"
"Yes. Good for you, Murasakibara-kun." Kuroko nodded his head in agreement.
"Like I said... Stop it with the Zuki-chin..." Izuki sighed.
"It's no use. He wouldn't change at all no matter how many times we have to say it." Midorima said as pushed up his glasses. "Wait! How did you even know all of us visited Kuroko yesterday in the first place?"
"Kise-chin texted me something about baking vanilla cookies for Kuro-chin. And he told me you guys visited him yesterday~" Murasakibara lazily explained as he ate another one of his cookies, unable to restrain himself.
Midorima widened his eyes while Izuki just continued laughing. "Kise! I will make him pay!"
Kuroko smiled to himself as he witness the lively exchange between his friends.
Maybe I really can start afresh from here.
Note: Hey guys! Sorry for not updating for such a long time. I underestimated junior college life. I can't seem to find time to write my stories these few weeks. That's why this chapter came out so late. I'm really sorry! Please forgive me!
This chapter is so awkward~ I don't like explaining things, but this chapter just seems to be explaining things over and over again...
Akashi may seem to be very out of character here, but I will only allow him to be this way when dealing with Kuroko. I assure he will be the Akashi you guys know when he deals with the other characters. And, Kuroko's personality still made me have difficulties writing this chapter yet again.
I enjoy writing about Murasakibara's childish antics. I find it very cute and I realize the perfect party to handle him is the one and only tsundere Midorima! Haha! But fear not. I will not stray too far from the main story. So hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Stay tune to the next chapter! Please review!
Thank you.