Dear James, I'm Not What You Thought

I woke the next morning to the cacophony of birds chirping outside the window. A maid that, in my exhaustion, I faintly recognized as Violet stood in the window way, struggling to pull the maroon curtains all the way back out of the window's way.

I lazily watched her, my brain not quite awake yet. I rubbed my eyes against the light and took her welcoming look in. She had a small smile perched upon her lips and a happy tune escaped her thin figure quietly as she set the room back up. My searching frenzy from the previous night still evident in the mess. She didn't seem to mind picking up the fabrics that littered the floor so I didn't raise argument to her doing it and watched lethargically.

I sighed heavily before sitting up and allowing the blanket to pool at my lap. I scratched my head and realized, when I couldn't pull my hand away, how tangled my hair was.

"Miss?" Violet could barely hold back her laughter as I began tugging ferociously at my hand.

"Hold on a sec…" I tugged at different angles and as pugnaciously as I could. Until I suddenly realized that my other hand was stuck in the blonde mess as well. "Yeah. I'm stuck." I confirmed defeatedly, trying hard to ignore her giggles but failing in a bashful mess.

She reached the vanity, grabbed the brush, hair ties, and pins, and hurriedly made her way over to my bed, taking a seat behind me soon after to begin the tedious work that I required.

"Alright, just sit still." I grit my teeth and jerked slightly as my muscles clenched up in retaliation. "I'll have you all fixed up in a minute." She unknowingly finished as she began pecking at my arms and hair.

I growled, slightly repulsed by the sensation of the cold locking up of my body, but complied nonetheless. "Couldn't if I tried." I muttered tightly.

There were a few sparks of pain as she worked and a lot of numb tugging done on my end as I tried to remove my hands impatiently. When one was suddenly was released, I audibly relaxed. Violet kept tampering with my hair, brushing the other out soon after.

"While you're back there," I began jokingly, "Would you mind winding it up for me? Just get it out of sight."

I could tell that she was chagrined at the order. "Why hide it? You have such beautiful hair color and texture, why wouldn't you want to flaunt it?" She idly ran her fingers through the back and I shivered in slight pleasure at her appraisal. "Honestly, I think it even rivals Princess Amber's dazzling tresses."

"I wouldn't go that far." I laughed modestly. "But I will admit. It's gotten me my fair share of attention in the past."

"Then why hide it, Miss?" She asked again as she wound it up, as per my request.

I stood up as I felt her release and it stayed securely. "Because, I don't like that attention." I paused suddenly as I looked myself in the mirror. Did I just—?

I spun on my heel and managed to catch a glimpse of blue as she made her way into my closet. Moments later, she returned with multiple gowns folded over her arms. "I suppose that makes sense." She nodded as she seemed to be processing it. "Here are some gowns to choose from. If you don't like any of them I can make a second trip."

I made my way over to my vanity to scoop up my locket. "Just choose one that you like and I'll put it on." I told her as I fastened the locket and began searching for my gloves through the shallow drawers.

"B-but I couldn't!" She stammered nervously.

"Dear," I began, reminding myself that I was indeed a bit older than her. "I haven't lived in a castle for almost a decade. If I choose it's gonna be a pair of trousers and a dress shirt." I explained pointedly.

She looked heavily conflicted.

I laughed and waved her off. "Just choose the most moderate one possible." She still looked puzzled, so I added to the requiem. "And, another thing, I prefer to avoid the wire frames."

"Ah, w-well then…" She rummaged through her armload and held up a nice aquamarine dress. It had elbow sleeves and a deep V neck but it was a nice mediocre dress that I actually wouldn't mind wearing.

"Good choice." I nodded as I laid my gloves on the vanity and set the nearest tiara on top of them.

"I'll be right back." She said curtly as she wandered back into the closet. At first I thought she was just putting the other dresses back but when I saw them on the bed still, I had to rethink my conclusion.

I had just figured out that she had gone in to get the most dreaded regalia in a woman's closet when she suddenly popped back into place, a corset dangling from her fingers.

A full corset.

I sighed heavily at the thought of putting that torture device on. But I held back any complaints. It was only just that I wear it while in a King's presence, as I had been told on many occasions as a child.

I took the death trap from Violet's fingers and told her that I could dress myself from here on out. She tried to argue but I sent her away with a wave of my hand.

I was still trying to come up with an excuse to not wear the corset as she was exiting the foyer to my room.

Wasn't there something I could use to my defense?!

Thirty minutes later I walked out of my room fully clothed and more uncomfortable than I could ever imagine possible.

My breathing was restricted, I wasn't at ease, and I felt lightheaded. All because of this stupid corset.

I tried to scratch under the tight material and failed miserably, deflating visibly. I growled and then began spinning like a dog chasing his tail as I chased my own back.

After another fifteen minutes of dallying in the hallway, I decided that I would just have to get used to it and leave the castle soon if it bothers me that much.

So, with many grumbles, I made my way back to the dining hall. This time careful to not pass it and get lost again. I massaged my neck as I entered, my eyes closed as I worked out the kinks in my upper spine.

"Emilia!" Roland called excitedly. "I'd love it if you'd join us for breakfast."

I paused mid-step. Us?

My eyes snapped open and I realized that I was the last one to arrive in the hall, the kids were already digging in and sparing me sideways glances between each bite.

Upon observation, I deduced from the amount of uneaten food that I was only later than them by mere minutes. So I took my seat with a grateful smile to the service that was provided to me as soon as I had even touched my seat.

I stared across the table at Amber, quietly watching her adjust her tiara, pull her hair back, resettle her dress, take a bite, and repeat— not necessarily in that order.

After I realized that her eyes were intentionally avoiding mine, I looked to a pair of eyes that hadn't left me since I entered.

"And what, may I ask, is so fascinating about my face?" I asked said child with a bit of a teasing smile as they looked away, a bit flushed.

James looked up to see who I was addressing. He looked at his sisters and realized that the both of them were trying to figure out my addressor as well.

"Well it's just that you look more tranquil today." My brother defended his stare.

"Puh-leaase. You want to say something and you know it!" I accused, narrowing my brow.

"Yeah, but you don't have to be so mean about it!" He pouted, looking ever the child.

I sputtered out a chuckle. I slammed a hand to my face at the snort that escaped. My eyes went wide as I realized that everyone was watching us with a great deal of surprise.

That's when I died. I buried my face into my hands and began laughing so hard that even my hands couldn't contain them and broke free to the open air.

Roland was chuckling on his own end.

It was too much!

I fell out of my seat.

It seems as if we both remember that little incident.

"Dad." A younger Roland nudged his father. "Pst! DA-AD."

Roland sighed and put his fork down. "What is it, son?" He asked without sparing a glance.

"She's watching me!" He whispered harshly.

"What is she supposed to be doing then?"

"Not watching me! That's for sure!"

"Emilia. Look at your food."

She followed the command abruptly and silently.

Roland felt the guilt hit him again as she shoveled another bite into her ever-silent mouth.

"I didn't mean—" He began.

"Then what did you mean?" Their father sighed heavily as his son's pestering became merciless. "If she's bothering you that much tell her to leave!" He grumbled loudly, attempting to eat his food again. He was still a bit tired from the exchange he had had earlier this morning with his wife.

His son latched onto his arm, startling the food and splashing it into his facial hair.

Their mother and elder sister were out to town this morning enjoying the sights— and getting away from certain annoyances— and the three remaining members of the royal family sat at the head of a table, enjoying a quaint breakfast. The King was in his regular seat at the head and his two remaining children sat on either side.

Emilia, ordered at the beginning to follow her father's lead, jammed her spoon into her porridge and flung it at King Roland's face to follow his own mistakenly placed food.

It hit him square on.

The King froze in place. His fork poised in mid-air he allowed his eyes to drift to his daughter. He knew his mistake and didn't plan to hold it to her too much. Since, you know, they weren't really in any taut situations or meetings.

She knew that much and smiled a little bit.

Roland the Second, however, was looking between the two in horror. He only knew his father well enough to know him as a man of seriousness and business. But he managed to forget the fact that his father was also a man of impeccable reasoning with as much strictness as kindness.

Their father slowly turned his head to the little four year old and slowly pursed his lips, his brow narrowing dangerously.

The son cringed, ready for the beating, the yelling, anything.

But it never came.

Instead there was a squirting sound and, when he opened his eyes, his little sister was covered in the milk their father had previously been drinking.

"Did you just—?" Roland began in shock.

Emilia squealed in disgusted pleasure and broke out into a fit of laughter.

Roland had never seen his sister laugh. Nor would he get the pleasure very often in the future.

King Roland smiled pleasantly at his revenge and continued his meal.

The four year old, not quite sure if she should continue this battle, looked between her still messied father and her perfectly clean brother. She wrenched her hand into her eggs and tossed them at her dear older brother with darling laughter.

Her father laughed too as the prince grunted in surprised disgust.

Then it was a full on war.

"A-and t-then Mother got home and refused to even step foot in the dining hall for days!" Roland choked out as he laughed.

"It was the first time I saw Father actually have fun!" I gurgled out in my unceasing giggles.

We were both on the ground in fits of laughter.

Then we sighed as we laid next to each other on the ground. "There were a few good points to my endless hours with Father." I told him with a pensive sigh.

"I know. I had some of my own as well."

"Mhm. Sure you did." I replied sarcastically as I sat up.

He followed my actions in succession. "What? I did!" He grabbed me in a headlock and I fought back in vain.

"What in the world are you two doing?" A familiar voice sounded as the owner peered over the table at us. "If I didn't know any better I'd think you were kids again. But you two never did wrestle this nicely."

"Constable!" Roland and I instantly moved away from each other and stood up. "What are you doing here?" Roland asked alone this time.

"And why do you keep catching me at my worst?" I asked weakly.

"Oh, you have bests?" Constable Miles laughed at his own joke and I sat down again wearily.

"Here we go." I sung defeatedly, my hand holding my jaw patiently as I rested my elbow on the table.

"And I heard elephants trumping through the room above my office and got curious as to what beasts had been released upon the castle." He looked good-naturedly between the now-seated Roland and I. "I now see it's two of the terrible threesome back to haunt me."

Roland I looked at each other, eyebrows raised as he went back into story.

"I remember the day you, Emilia, and the oldest one got into the stables during this one's practice." He shook his head in disbelief as he gestured to Roland. "I've never seen a woman ride a Pegasus so well! Sure caused a ruckus it did." He laughed as he seemed to drift back into his own mind.

I huffed and blew a strand of hair out of my face. I'll admit this and only this, I'm a bit bashful when the topic drifts to myself. Years of standing in the back did nothing for my confidence or ability to stand as the topic of conversation.

Then I noticed the kids watching Constable as if his words were the most fascinating thing in the world.

He was still talking about how great I rode that horse.

"Constable!" I interrupted loudly, red erupting across my cheeks as I realized what was happening. "Don't you have some work to get back to?"

"Yes. Yes. I do indeed." He suddenly seemed to remember the boatload of reports he still had to file away and he quickly slipped his way out of the room. The kids watched his retreating form intently until he was completely out of sight. And, not a moment later, their attention was fully on me.

"W-what?" I demanded defiantly.

"You rode derby horses?" James looked amazed and slightly doubtful.

"And you were good at it?" Amber looked disgruntled.

Sofia just stared, sparkles of admiration in her eyes.

I frowned impassively. "I wasn't supposed to. And it was the only time I ever—"

"She was amazing! It intimidated even me! It may have been her first time on a horse but she made it all the way through the course before someone could even process that a little three-year-old was passing them with ease."

"I was eight." I deadpanned, correcting his story, but he still spoke over me. Not even acknowledging the fact that I had said anything.

"She made it to the top of the bell tower in a second! And she beat the record!"

"I was lighter than the other teens riding so my horse had it easy." I added monotonously, continuing in my meal.

Miranda laughed along with the kids as Roland continued to exaggerate and I dutifully corrected him on each account.

By the time the meal was over and it was time for school and kingly duties, I couldn't detach James from my hip. And his mouth was a never-dying engine that shot out question after question and, before I could even attempt to answer one, he'd begin his own tale of extreme stunts that went along with it.

"Alright, Kiddo." I pointed. "Carriage. Now." I ordered dryly.

"Aw. But I have so much to talk about!"

I smiled slightly at the adoration he held and caved somewhat. "I'll go to your practice this afternoon. Is that alright?"

"And you'll ride too?"

"Uhm…" I fiddled with my thumbs. My father's voice ricocheted against the walls of my brain, making me want to cringe. "I suppose we'll see how things play out."

Don't ever climb onto another horse's saddle again. You hear me?

He looked at me confusion evident in his ever-searching eyes.

I'm sure my expression was worrisome.

I put the mask back on momentarily and smiled politely at him.

He smiled just as weakly and turned his back to me as he climbed onto the carriage.

I smiled even larger as Sofia waved back to me brutishly. I feebly waved until they were well out of sight.

I dropped my hand. My smiled followed suite.

I don't understand kids.

Especially that one. He's too much like Roland for me to be sure of anything.

I suppose it's time for me to pay that visit to Cedric that I promised.

Visiting… Pestering… Threatened… Promised… I don't see the difference.

I smiled ominously.

Knock Knock Knock.

Pause.

Silence.

Knock Knock Knock.

Pause.

Then there was a loud clatter as if someone had suddenly jerked awake and all of their things had gone flying in the process. I smiled in amusement at the images that filed through my brain.

There was sounds of scrambling and scurrying as I waited patiently on the other side of the door for Cedric to clean up his newfound mess.

"Yes, yes. What is it?" He deadpanned exasperatedly as the door creaked open.

"Hey." I waved weakly, my eyes lighting up briefly, before dying as he closed the door again. "You old crab." I muttered along the lines with more meaningful curses included as I reached over and grabbed his key. I jammed it into the lock and turned it with a flick of the wrist. I then commenced with jiggling the heavy door open.

"Boy, you sho' do get a work out with this thing." I leaned against it heavily as I attempted to push it open again.

Cedric, through the crack in the door that I could see through, was sitting at his desk. His chin on his hand and his back to me in what looked like a sulky gesture.

"C'mon!" I managed to slide through the gap. "The least you could do is wave that lil wand of yours and give me some assistance!"

He waved the wand above his head lazily and the door slammed closed behind me—making me jump out of my skin— before a click signaled that it was locked securely.

I waited for him to say or do anything and, when he didn't so much as look at me, I wandered over to the spare desk where a book laid open. A little black crow swooped at my head with a loud screech, trying to keep my drifting form away from the book it seemed. A guard dog? He let out a caw, making a reading (as I soon discovered) Cedric turn to look at the ruckus.

Wait… This might be a raven, not a crow, I hummed as I looked at the build carefully.

The black bird was clutched in my fingers, purring softly as I scratched his underbelly.

"Wormy?" He croaked as he looked between us.

"Oh he's fine." I threw the bird into the air lightly and he caught wind in his wings before circling back to his perch where he watched me with a twinkle in his eye. "And Wormy? As in Wormwood? Isn't that—?"

"As usual, you talk too much." He mumbled drearily as he flicked his scraped wand at me.

I caught the stick barely and, after a bit of fumbling around with it, I laid it at my side as I became infatuated with the book that lay open on his desk. The book I had been heading to before a certain bird decided to steal my attention.

"What are you looking at?" He asked with a scrunched up brow as he stood up and moved to look over my shoulder intently.

I nearly slammed the book closed on his nose as he leaned in too much. "Back up." I ordered sternly. His eyebrows flew up, concerned confusion taking over his being at my flip in attitude.

I used the finger I had marked the page with to open the book back and read the poem again, but this time aloud.

"With each deed perform, for better or worse, a power is granted, a blessing or curse." I recited with a flare of knowing in my intonation.

"Ah. That." Cedric sat back down and went back to the potion book on his desk, seemingly uninterested.

"How… odd."

"What now?"

"I believe Sofia wears the same necklace that's in this picture. Could it be a fraud…?" I let my gaze darken cockily as I gazed over at the tightly wound up sorcerer at his desk. "Or the real thing?" I let my voice get higher as I finished.

"And if it is?" He spun to look at me with a twisted smile.

I couldn't help my own dark grin. "It would aid a special someone I know in his quest for getting even." I sung misguidedly.

"It always bewitches me how well you put the pieces together so easily." He laughed halfheartedly. "You found my plot in mere minutes of being here yet everyone else still thinks of me as a submissive pet." He growled the last part lowly.

"Well, you're reliable companion is a pet rock. You were always telling me how proud you were of yourself for that one. Your schemes can't be that complex."

He scowled deeply. "Will you just drop that one already?" He nearly screeched.

I put my hands up in mock defeat. "Alright, alright. I'm done picking. Sorry Wormwood. I won't point it out again." Said bird ruffled his feathers perturbedly and then puffed his chest out and upturned his beak snobbishly. I smiled and shook my head, a small smile on my lips. I'd have to make that one up to him later. "But I don't know about this one, Cedric." My voice wavered warningly as I studied the poem. "This thing could cause its user some serious problems. I wish I could get my hands on it and just study it a bit. What effects is has on the wearer. I doubt that it's all-powerful. The price must be pretty hefty. Especially for whatever you have in mind."

He huffed heavily and rolled his chair over to me. Standing at my side once he arrived and looking at the amulet longingly. I remembered that it wasn't really what he wanted.

I snorted. "Evil men need to be able to lie to themselves at least."

He raised an eyebrow at my statement and looked at me in disbelief. "What's that supposed to mean?"

I smiled secretly to myself as I wandered to the painting hanging high and mightily on the wall. "I didn't know you were a fan of art." I toyed. "A painting of your parents no less."

"It livens up the place." He said routinely as he closed the book holding the details of the amulet and putting it back onto a shelf for later usage. It probably wasn't the wisest thing to leave out and open for the world to see.

"Ah hah. I think it ups the creepy factor of a lair in a tower." I mocked lightly, but I was still slightly serious.

"And I'm sure such a tower doesn't meet your standards," he bowed deeply, "Princess Emilia."

"Okay, painting is a touchy subject. Duly noted." I half whimpered to myself.

He grinned in content to my reaction and moved to the desk again. "Now that you're done prodding at my things, do you mind leaving—?"

"Or helping with whatever you're doing?" I offered up the option hopefully.

He sent me a sideways glance, his expression unreadable from my perspective. Then he smiled and went back to his book.

"Can you pass me the wugmort?"

I smiled largely and grabbed the bottle— no issues in finding it, the stuff was repulsive by any standards and can be smelt a mile away by a senseless dog— and sat on the bench at his side as I placed the jar on the table.

It was then that the ties were mended.

Surely Cedric could forgive my leaving without a trace?

I suppose I could have at least told him I was going in the first place.

The past is the past right?

"Hey," I yawned loudly as I rested my head on my folded arms. "How do I get along with the kids? They don't seem to like me very much."

Cedric looked at me pensively. "You want to get along with children? Roland's no less?"

I nodded in all seriousness.

"I find it a bit ironic at how great you are at dealing with animals yet you don't know the first thing about kids."

"They talk. A lot." I deadpanned as I began taking pins out of my hair, the tightness was beginning to bother me. The corset wasn't helping anything either. Might as well fix one at least.

Cedric watched me work as he paused with his own hands. "Point taken." He grimly remembered his own experiences with the children.

"So?" I looked at him as I pulled out the last tie.

"So what?"

"Help me! I'm serious!" I shoved his arm whiningly.

"Sometimes you act like a kid, you know that?" He grumbled. "And with how much you order me around I'm thankful I don't have your curse."

"Watch it." I warned sharply. "I don't pick at you about your father so leave mine out of it." I leered dangerously, daring him to say something else.

He sighed and tiredly rubbed his face. "Princess Sofia likes anyone and everyone—"

"Even you?" I asked curiously.

"Even me." He confirmed tersely.

"Continue." I egged on as I grabbed my pins and hair ties to make a nice little stack.

He paused and a thoughtful look crossed his expression. "Prince James is pretty laid back. Just talk about cannons or something any other boy would like and you've got him, hook, line, and sinker."

I laughed. "When did you become a fisher?"

"I know my terminology." He added with a short snort of his own. "As for Princess Amber… She doesn't really like anyone at first. But I think you two are more similar than you think."

"Why do I feel like you're insulting me?"

He put his hands up to defend himself. "I didn't say anything. Just do things her way and you're on her good side."

"H-how about Miranda?" I asked a little less eagerly, my eyes fading away from his. That's one I really wanted to know.

He looked at me, his features softened and he put a hand to my head, ruffling the now down hair messily. "With your luck, she'll be doting on you in a week. She's a mother all the way down to the roots."

"She's not that old." I defended as I pushed his hand off roughly, scowling at him as he paid no mind to the newly formed tangles.

"And neither are you." He responded shortly.

My expression dropped. I buried my face into my folded arms and groaned loudly.

There were clinks and clanks of glass bottles and metal containers as Cedric returned to his work.

"Emilia. If you dare fall asleep right here I'll turn you into a toad." Silence on both ends. "You hear me? I'm serious this time." He tried again.

I groaned weakly in response as my lids fell closed.

"Emilia… I'm warning you… Don't—"

Everything on my end went dark and silent.

Well, all I can really say is:

...To Be Continued...