hello it's george here. sorry 4 the long wait i have been experiencing some personal issues. && thanks for the reviews on my story so far. i really appreciate them. you''ll be pleased to know that while writing this chapter i disovered microsoft word automatically corrects 'doritos' to 'Doritos'. needless to say i cried

After stomping around heterosexually for a while and doing heterosexual things like eating weird tinned meat, attending straight pride parades and getting a tribal tattoo I dried my tears and decided it was time to suck it up and explore the rest of my new town. My semen socks were now a combination of damp and crusty so I thought I'd visit the sock shop Isabelle had mentioned and dress my noble feet in more suitable gear.

I squelched shittingly down the street until I reached what appeared to be a shoe store. Praying to the baby Jesus that there was a normal human inside, I reached slowly for the door handle. The bell gave a merry jingle as I stepped inside and immediately locked eyes with an unusual creature. He appeared to be a skunk, with a sweet pink nose and spiky blue-black fur. He was wearing a little flat cap and gave me a warm, normal smile. I felt so happy and relaxed I honestly did a tiny piss right there and then.

mmother

"Hello," I said, trying not to sound too relieved. "I'd like some new socks...have I come to the right place?"

The skunk-creature walked over to me and looked me up and down appraisingly. He opened his mouth and to my complete horror began to shriek at me:

"YEW SURE 'AVE, MISTA! CRIKEY, I 'ARDLY CAN ADAM AND EVE IT! I WERE TOLD THAT THE NEW MAYOR MIGHT POP IN FER A LI'L VISIT BUT -"

I quickly turned around and left the shop, walking away as fast as I could. I would just wash my fucking socks in the river. No way was I dealing with that damn mess. No fucking way. I crossed the train tracks back into town and walked slowly, wondering what to do.

It occurred to me that I hadn't eaten since I'd arrived in town, and I was feeling very faint. I didn't have any money but surely as the mayor I was entitled to some free stuff? I took a wander towards an indistinct building south of the river and was delighted to discover it was some sort of cafe.

I stepped inside, breathing in the bitter aroma of coffee.

"Hello?" I called out anxiously, "it's...the mayor. Could I get some food and possibly a drink?"

A strange shape moved in the shadows beyond the counter and I stepped forward.

"I haven't eaten since I got here and I wondered if you could serve me some food?"

"Coo," said the shadow mysteriouslsiousesly, sliding a packet of Doritos across the counter with an orange hand. I gave my thanks and was about to leave when I noticed a few other creatures sitting at the cafe's tables, munching. Reasoning that it couldn't hurt to get to know the locals, I wandered over. A mouse, a cat and a squirrel were all also eating Doritos.

"Hello," I began nervously, pausing as I realised none of the animals were listening to me. They just kept eating Doritos mechanically, staring straight ahead with blank eyes.

"Excuse me," I tried, but no luck. The cat gagged slightly but continued to shove Doritos into her mouth. It was a Dorito frenzy that make me slightly sick to behold. It was then that I noticed the server behind the bar was actually also a Dorito. One of the cool ranch ones I think but we were all eating regular ones. I sat down with my new friends and thrust handful after handful of orange triangles down my throat. even when they cut my mouth and throat. even when i began to bleed. i wept but still i ate Doristyios. they were so good so hurting. I LOVE FOOD WITH ANGLES! ACUTE OBTUSE DOESNT MATRE TO ME U HYST LOVE TO MEASSURE THE ANGLES WITGH MY GUT I FEEL THE CORNERS

With a hearty breakfast finally inside me I stepped outside feeling slightly more optimistic about my day. My tent would be replaced with a house in a few more hours, I remembered! But what the hell could I furnish it with? Surely there was a home store of some kind around here...there were definitely other houses that looked vastly more well-furnished than mine.

I hardly had any money but with a spring in my step I headed back up towards the main street, hoping to buy some furniture. My life here had started out shakily but it was up to me to create something worth loving. I had images of a warm, cosy home in my head as I walked through the soft grass, and for the first time I felt like maybe I could make this town a better place, not just my house.

okay next chapter up soon. hope you liked it. thanks 4 any reviews. enjoy the oozing things. i know i am. make some if youd ont have any naturally.