A/N: Sorry it took so long... I had Ch. 3 all typed and ready to go months ago... then my computer got a virus and I had to put all my documents on a CD... none of which I can retrive. Andit took me awhile to find the original Dieary. Anyway,a steamboat of love to newest reviewers Almighty God of Paper and MissLovelyx3.
Reviews are muchly appreciated.
DISCLAIMER: Huck Finn is not my freckle-faced rapscallion...
Deer Dyeayri,
I thot that I wus the onlee wun on Jacksun's Eyeland…boy wus I rong! I was addventurin owt in the woodz wen i cayme uhpon sum campfier ashses that wus stil smowking. I wus afeared outa mye mynd, I wus, so I went bac too mye camp to pak upp my traps and putt owt the fyr so it lookd like nobodeed ben ther fer awhiel, then I dun clime a trea n staye up ther fer a cuple owers. Layter in the nite i goat down and serchd rownd the eyeland. I fownd a man who wus sleepin. Wen he wakes up i seed that it wus Jim, miss Watsun's neegrow! I wus sur happee to sea him. So i cum owt an say "hello Jim!" and jim gets all skairt cus he thot I's a ghoost… I gess my plan workt purdy well then. It dun took sum splainin on mye part to make jim reelise that I warn't a ghost… cus 1: hes a neegrow and 2: hes a sooperstitshus neegrow. I tole Jim wye it lookd lyke sumwun dyed in Pap's hut, an jim sayd Tom Soyer coudnta dun a bettr job of it, witch mayd my pryde swel up cunsidurable. Then Jim tells me howe he dun run off on accounta Miss Watsun wus gonna sell him down to new Orlins fer ate hunnert dollers. Grate… if i didn't hav no problims of mye own afore, now's I got a runawaye neegrow on mai hands! Butt its jim , so i don't mynd to to much. A cuple dayse latr we sawed a frayme howse floatin down the river an der wus a man on the floor in it whoo wus ded. Jim whent to go hav a looksee. He cayme back n sayed that indeed the man wus ded and naykid too, butt he tole me not to look at the man's face cus he'd bend ed fer abowt three dayse and he'd beegun to fester. I had no deezire to look at the man, so I lookd rownd the botehowse and sawd playin cards, a straw hat, a baybee's suckling bottle, and lotsa emptee bottles of whisky.
I wunder who the ded man wus, tho…
P.S. Gess whut? Jim is whanted fer murdurin me! Me! Ain't that the mowst ridickuluss thang ever? On account of I'm not ded, I no its not tru!
Deer Diharry,
Me n Jim dun had a discusshun bout kings an stuff toodaye, and blame if I never met a neegrow more stubburn ore ignerant (to use sum of Tom Soyer's vocabumalary) than jim. He sayd that King Solomun warn't no wyse man, wich i no he wus cus the Widoe sayd so. Jim went on bout the chylde Solomun wus gonna cut in two diffrint womun sayd it wus theres. Jim sayd instede of askin round to find owt whoose baybee it wus, Solomun wus gonna chop it in haff so that eech womun dun get a part. What wus the use of haff a chylde, Jim sayd. I toled jim that he mist the point intirely. I wus gunna eksplayn it to him but there warn't any use on accounta his stubburness. So we tawk about uhther kings and how sum say Loowee 16th's littel boy the dolphin escaped an cummed to Amerika and how heed be lonesum and lern peeple to tawk Franch. Then Jim askt if Franch persons tawk liek us and I sayd noe, that we woodn't be ayble to undurstand a werd coming outta there mowth. Jim askt how cum, and i sayd its just so. Then I done askt Jim whut he'd doo if a Franchman caym up to him and sayd "Parlez-vous français?" (I dun got it outta a book) Jim sayd he'd whale on himm if he warn't white but neegrow… att leest he knows his playse. I tole him that it means "Doo yu speek Franch?" and that it wus a Franchman's waye of speeking butt Jim sayd their wusn't no sense in it. So I ecksplaned to him that cats an cows dont tawk liek uss, and thay dont tawk liek eechuther, and Jim agreed that it wus perfiktly normull fer them too speek difurrant. Then I askt why shudnt it be gnaturull fer a Franchman to tawk diffurant than us. Jim sayd a cow ner a cat wussint a man, but since a Franchman wer a man… why dont he tawk liek a man?
There's just noe argueing with that jim, so I didunt tri no moore. Neegrows just dont git sum things, an theres noe use tryin to teech em. Thay just ignerant.