"Dan help!" he screamed, jumping back into consciousness. He started breathing heavily. "It's ok Phil just a dream just a dream Phil" he told himself, panting with fear.

He then remembered. He cried a little because he felt so lonely without Dan's body pressed against his. He could always go to Dan and tell him everything and Dan would make him feel better.

Dan said a dream diary would help him open up and feel better but Phil rarely wanted to relive the awful nightmares that he had. He hands clasped round the photo of the two together and his breathing relaxed slightly. He buried his face in Dan's pillow trying to block out the dream.

It had been set at school. The bullies had found Phil, and Dan wasn't there. They had chased him, Phil remembered running and running. Until they cornered him. He had been terrified when the worst one Casper who was sixteen took out a knife and walked towards him, the knife menacingly glinting in the sunlight.

Then they all took out knives. Tasha and Sara and Pete. Phil had edge towards the wall but they came closer and then the knife was thrown straight at Phil's chest….

He shuddered, rubbing his forehead as if trying to squeeze the worries about school from his head. Kate (Dans mum) ran into the room almost slipping.

"Phil! What's wrong I heard you scream" she asked, looking shaken. Phil emerged from Dan's pillow, pushing the photo under the cover, not wanting her to see he'd been sleeping with it. She already treated him like a baby as it was.

"Bad dream" he mumbled, sounding pathetic. She sighed and sat down next to him. "You slept in Dan's bed" she said, stating the obvious.

He nodded. "It's nicer than over there" he gestured to his side of the room like it was some kind of hell. She put her hand on his shoulder.

"I'd really prefer it if you didn't honey" she said gently. "You might catch the cough" Phil sat up. He fiddled with his hair. Should he keep it long and natural, scrape it back at the front, brush into a sideways fringe. Dan always knew.

"I need to wash it" she said. Phil burrowed back under the covers into the warmth. "Ok, well, feel free to breakfast if you feel ready" she whispered and walked out.

He lay there for a few minutes; his dream seemed to be burning into his mind. He rolled out of Dan's bed and went to his photo of the two of them. This was more recent, a few months ago. They were at the zoo and Phil was gazing in intently on the lions looking hypnotised whilst Dan was laughing.

He wanted to stay and moulder in their room all day, but he suddenly realised he was starving. He automatically glanced at the clock. Twelve am. Six hours sleep. He begrudgingly got up and plodded downstairs. He realised he had been sleeping in his clothes. He'd change them in a minute, possibly.

He reached for the top shelf of the cupboard, fumbling round until his hand closed on a cereal packet. He opened the door of the fridge. No milk? Fine.

He scooped the dry cereal out and ate it that way. If anything he preferred it without milk. He'd usually do this until Dan told him to stop wasting his cornflakes.

When Kate walked in on him. He expected her to sigh in exasperation and tell him to stop. But she just shook her head at him and went into the living room to read. He wondered what she was reading.

He shoved the packet back in the cupboard and then came to sit next to her, reading over her shoulder. She was reading about comas. He didn't want to find out.

Phil didn't really want to do anything, there wasn't really anything to do without Dan. But now he was up he felt like he needed to be doing something.

He went into the hallway and opened his rucksack. Aimlessly he flipped through the pages of his planner. He didn't look at the ticks and good marks.

Everyone else called him a nerd for getting good grades. Dan's grades were rubbish, even though he was more intelligent than Phil. He noticed he had homework.

Record any type of tree or plant in your local area-

"Little kid homework!" he muttered under his breath. But he didn't really mean it. The science homework wasn't so bad, he could have been stuck doing maths. He'd go and find the tree's. A bit like a mad squirrel he thought.

"Mum I'm going out" he called. She didn't reply. He wasn't going to repeat himself. He slammed the door and walked out, heading towards the normal rought to the hills nearby.

Him and Dan would often go there after school for ten minutes, or longer if Phil had had a bad day. It was nice and relaxing. There were a few patches of woodland.

He climbed up the hill to the top and sat down in the long grass, looking out over the horizon. It stared right back, pale and blue and endless. The cold sun shone brightly above, making the wet clover leaves shine gold. He could hear the birds singing.

Dan sweared he could tell the difference between the familiar sparrows that clustered together on the tree branches. He imagined a ghost like Dan sitting beside him. He knew what Dan would say.

"Hey look there's Stripe, he's the leader"

"Which one" Phil would reply sarcastically.

"The..…the one on the branch right!"

"Dan" Phil would giggle, gesturing to the birds to show that they were all on the tree branches. He looked at them for a while, wondering if they really were any different.

He knew Dan had just been falling around but maybe if he stared long enough he'd be able to tell the differences between them. It was hard though because they kept moving and grooming each other and jumping and flapping their little feathered wings.

He gave up and just watched them. He felt wetness on his cheek. He realised tears had formed. He gently wiped them off with his sleeve but it didn't really work because more kept forming.

A small sparrow fluttered round his head, landing next to him, eyeing him with its beady black eyes. It had a tiny head in proportion to its body and large claws on its dark and brown white frame.

"Can I talk to you?" he whispered to it. It hopped nearer to him, twisting its neck round to groom its wing. "Ok"

The sparrow flew off to join the rest, but still stared at him inquisitively.

"I want Dan" Phil whispered to nobody in particular. "I want Dan, I want Dan" his voice rose shrill and high until he had to put his hand over his mouth to stop him.

"Hey kid"

Phil jumped round in surprise. Oh god, it was someone in his class. He backed away, his body tensed, ready to spring away. He rigidly took a few steps slowly back.

"Hey its ok…wait" she called as Phil legged it into the wooded area, panting heavily. He brushed a tear from his face and wildly looked around. The girl found him. Phil jumped, scrambling away, he realised she was blocking the entrance. She came closer. Gasping he backed into a tree.

"Hey hey hey! It's all right I'm not gonna hurt ya" she said quickly, seeing the terror on Phils face.

Phil swallowed. "What do you want" he asked her cautiously. She slowly paced towards him. "I just want to talk, its ok I'm not going to hurt ya all right"

Phil backed away. "Who are you anyway?"

"Elen, one of Phoebe's friends" she said. It looked like she was telling the truth but she might be running with Casper. Phil let her come closer to him. He shivered.

"Why are you so scared?" she asked him curiously. Phil glared at her. "It's none of your business" he snapped.

Elen blinked. She had big green eyes and a pretty heart shaped face with dark locks that fell over her eyes. She wore glasses but they seemed to just fit in with her face. They never had for Phil until he got contact lenses.

"I've seen ya before right" she said, looking like she was concentrating, obviously not offended by Phil's standoffishness. "You're that little kid that tags along with the brunet"

Phil flinched. "I'm your age actually" he muttered sourly. "I was just scared that you were….nevermind…whatever" he trailed off. He didn't want to let her know he was bullied, though she probably already did.

She giggled, her teeth flashing. "No offence, but ya do look like a little child"

Phil glowered at her. "Just leave me alone all right"

She didn't scowl back, she just smiled at him. "Look, can't I just ask ya what's wrong?"

"No" he said.

"Whhhyyyy?" she asked, tilting her head. He did that too when he was puzzled. "Because you'll tell everyone at school and they'll make fun of me even more than they already do" he said through gritted teeth.

Elen shook her head. "I swear I won't" she said, and she did as well, sticking her finger up at him. He supposed it was meant to be funny, but he didn't laugh.

"Bullshit" he muttered.

She giggled. "Naughty shouldn't swear"

"I'm not a little kid!" he shouted furiously.

"Ok ok ok" she said calmly. "Just tell me what's wrong and I'll go"

Phil gave in. "Fine" he murmured, sitting down. She gave him a happy smile and plopped herself down next to him, looking at him expectantly.

"So, why were you crying" she began. Phil rested his head on his knees and didn't meet her gaze. She looked at him expectantly.

"A friends ill" he replied reluctantly. Elen breathed out and hitched her glasses up. "No offence…err was ya name?"

"Phil.."

"No offence Phil but you kind of don't really have any friends" she said mildly, but tactfully. Phil shrugged. It was true.

"It's Dan" he said suddenly. There was a silence. Elen leaned towards him. Phil shyed away. She put her hand on his shoulder, and he twitched at her touch.

"That's really sad" she said, sounding mournful all of a sudden. "Phoebe's got a huge crush on him…." She said wearily. Phil gave her a withering look, even though he was on the verge of fresh tears.

"Also maybe because he's my brother!" he said, his voice high pitched. She chewed her lip thoughtfully. "No….didn't Phoebe say that Dan's mum adopted you" she looked up into the branches of the trees, the roots, the bark, the draping moss.

"Does Phoebe have nothing better to do than gossip about Dan" Phil hissed irritably. Then he burst into tears.

Elen didn't run away in horror, just awkwardly patted him on the head. Phil hid his face away from her. She sighed. "Phil….I'll just go…sorry I bothered you" she said meekly. Obviously Elen didn't know how to handle a situation like that.

He wasn't sure if he wanted her to go or not. But he let her. When she was out of earshot he whispered into the wind.

Can you guess what he said?