-Three-

At lunch the next day, Law watched Sanji skip from one of the trash barrels to the water fountain. Irritation warmed his chest and cheeks as he paused in mid-chew of his pan seared tuna, Baby and Buffalo shoveling down their chicken Alfredo around him. Sanji was dressed in an outrageous orange plaid shirt over patchy jeans, but there was something about the off coloring that really had Law patting his own name brand clothes with reassurance.

The kid's happiness fiercely annoyed him in a way he couldn't identify – how could Sanji enjoy being so damn poor? How could he be that happy? As Vergo waited patiently nearby, Law wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and hastily approached the blond kid as he set his tray onto the counter with a cheery greeting to the grouchy faced lunch lady. The lady managed a smile back, Law noticed as Sanji turned to skip back to his table. But once he saw Law, he stopped short.

"Why do you skip all the time?" Law asked with a sneer. "Don't you know how gay that is?"

Sanji stared up at him, then tilted his head with curiosity. "Who the hell are you, kid?"

Law reddened with frustration. He slapped his forehead, dragging his fingers slowly over his face before regaining control of himself. Then he fluttered his suddenly restless hands over his perfected hairstyle; the girls were always praising the style for that tousled bad boy look they liked.

"Never mind! Just -! Why are you doing that? You look like a freaking idiot skipping all the time. You're twelve, not five! It's not cute on a kid your age…"

Sanji tossed his hair as he straightened to his full height – which wasn't much. His crooked teeth were too large for his mouth. Law wondered if he needed braces. "You're a big kid but you're obviously a very slow one," Sanji said haughtily, causing Law to sputter. "Did you know boxers are required to jump rope as part of their training?"

Because Law had seen 'Rocky' clips on Youtube, he nodded slowly.

"Welllllllll what I'm doing is basically jumping rope while walking...right?"

Law nodded again, brow furrowing.

Sanji sneered at him. "My old man said it's essential to my training."

"Well, your old man must hate you because you look freaking dumb doing it."

"It doesn't matter if I look dumb! I can jump high and fast, stupid. I can do this!"

Sanji leapt up and kicked out, moving too fast for Law to dodge. Impact didn't register for several seconds so Law peeked through his hands to see why the delay. Seeing that Vergo was holding Sanji aloft by the back of his shirt caused Law mortification in his own reaction. Sanji crossed his arms haughtily.

"Good thing your man servant saved you," he sniffed, "because the old man would kill me if I got into trouble again for beating up another boy."

"It's Mr Vergo to you, small boy," Vergo warned low, twisting his hand to force Sanji to look at him.

"Whatever..."

Vergo set him down on the floor, and Sanji fixed his shirt as he looked at Law with a sneer. "Maybe you should work on your chicken legs, chicken boy," he said, walking off while Law looked down at his legs with consideration. "Women like men with big, muscular legs!"

"They don't like guys that skip, either!" Law yelled after him.

"Chicken legs are in for men," Vergo assured Law stoically. "How else would you be able to fit into your girlfriend's skinny jeans?"

"What's wrong with my jeans?" Law asked with a clueless expression.

Vergo reddened as he adjusted his sunglasses. "Sorry. That might've been my own business to know."

Law rolled his eyes and walked back to the table to see that Baby was eating the rest of his lunch.

"I thought you were done, since you went to go flirt with your boyfriend," she sneered.

He kicked her as he took his seat, causing her to choke. "He's not my boyfriend! He's just a kid I hate!"

"Then why do you bother him all the time?"

"Because I hate him."

Baby pursed her lips. "You dressed up like a girl to bother him."

"I know his weakness and I'm exploiting it. He can't resist anything female!"

"He's so cute!" Baby squealed. "I can tell he's going to grow up to be a heartbreaker! It'll probably be my heart he'll break, too! Ooh, I can't wait!"

Law looked at her with disgust.

At home, Baby crunched noisily on her chips while lounging on one of the couches as Buffalo and Law practiced skipping up and down the hallway. Doflamingo and Corazon were giving it their best efforts but had turned it into a competition, pushing and shoving at each other. Vergo was doing it with his arms crossed behind his back.

What a bunch of idiots, she thought with an exasperated look.

The next day, Law sought Sanji out during lunch. The kid was scraping his tray clean of his trash so when Law approached him he gave the bigger kid a surprised look.

"Ugh, you again!" he complained sourly.

"I have been practicing," Law bragged. "So I want to issue you a challenge - part of a boxer's training includes speedrope work. Out of us, who can speed rope the best?"

Sanji's eyes cruised over and beyond Law, rolled around the cafeteria with some disinterest before the subject settled in. "Eh? But nobody skips rope at school. That hasn't been done in, like, a thousand years!"

Law reddened as he realized this was true.

"Are you dumb?" Sanji asked him cautiously. "I thought as we got older we got smarter, but it seems backwards for you."

"I'm not dumb, you stupid kid! Just…some of the shit you say stumbles my brilliant brain cells into dumbing down what you just said so I can actually understand it!"

Setting the tray aside, Sanji put his hands on his hips. "Luffy and Zoro brought their hoverboards to school. Let's see who can stay on the longest."

Because he considered himself a pro himself at the contraption, Law nodded. "Fine. But no crying if you fall on the sidewalk."

Sanji smirked. "Not on the sidewalks, shithead. The stairs."

"You can't possibly think you can use that on the stairs!"

"I don't want to call a big kid a sissy, but I'm going to have to in a bit," Sanji said with a shrug. Because Law wasn't going to back down from this, he gave a grim scowl.

"Fine. Let's go right now!"

"Aww, but…I have ladies to talk to before next period," Sanji whined. "I won't get a chance to, later…"

"Let's do it now! Before I realize how stupid this is!"

"Ugh, fine…"

That night, Law's face hadn't changed. But he was directing that attention to his broken wrist. He'd taken a spectacular fall, much to the horror of the kids watching, but Vergo had rushed him immediately to the hospital. Corazon fretted over him while Doflamingo loaded his various handguns, Vergo testing the strength of his nail studded bat.

"Where does this kid live, Vergo?" Doflamingo asked. "I just want to ask him a question…"

"It was an accident!" Law cried with exasperation. "Admittedly, I underestimated my own hoverboard skills and now I'm paying for it!"

"How could he make you do something so dangerous?" Corazon howled anxiously. "Who is this kid?"

"He's a sixth grader," Buffalo said helpfully. "And he lives in the poor projects! With an old man-dasuyan!"

The adults froze while Law reddened with embarrassment.

"Law," Doflamingo said sternly. "You were bested by a twelve year old poor kid?"

"I fell on my own!"

Vergo looked on grimly. "Young master, this child trains exclusively in the deadly arts of the ninja. He is fast, coordinated and has persuasive powers. Unfortunately, I've seen him kill many of his classmates on whim alone. Law has no chance against him."

"He hasn't killed anyone!" Law cried in exasperation.

"Hmm, I might've seen another slaughter take part, then," Vergo retracted. "Could've been part of the war."

"The war," the Donquixote brothers agreed, nodding their heads.

Law rolled his eyes because he wasn't sure which war Vergo was talking about. "Whatever! The point is, no one is killing this kid but me. I have sworn vengeance, and I don't want any help."

Doflamingo sighed noisily while Corazon fretted. "But Law," he said, "clearly this small child is bullying you. Perhaps we should talk to the teachers about this. Before it turns into an episode of 'Thirteen Reasons Why' - "

"You do, and I'll stab you in your sleep!" Law looked at him with caution, then decided not to ask.

The next day at school, the girls fawned over his injury with concern and extra helpfulness. They swamped him with questions and concern, Baby and Buffalo forced out of the group by their persistence. Law was flattered over the attention because there was nothing more satisfying than seeing the envy on his classmates' faces once they saw the group of girls surrounding him. It made the injury worth it.

"Do you need help carrying your backpack?" a girl asked, tucking long hair behind her ear.

"You want to touch my Jumpman?" Law asked her coquettishly, much to the envy of the other girls that looked on.

"Your backpack!" she clarified with a blush.

"That's what I was saying," Law returned with a slight grin. "You may touch it if you want. You can be my first wife."

The other girls squealed and pranced for a chance to offer themselves as first wives, which caused a little jostling. Law was not prepared to see Sanji looking over with envy. Law felt smug as the kid left his friends to approach him.

"What's your name, kid?" Sanji asked him gruffly.

Law practically yelled it at him. "I'm one of the most popular kids in this school, how could you not know me?"

Sanji shrugged without apology.

"Well, you should," Law returned with an insistent gesture. "Because one day, you'll be saying it a lot."

Sanji looked puzzled. "Why would I say it a lot?"

"Because by then you'll know it well!"

"Well…that's stupid. Because I literally just now forgot it."

"I'll tattoo my name on your stupid ass!"

Sanji looked outraged. "My ass is no man's business!"

Law furrowed his forehead with confusion, unsure of why this conversation went so oddly wrong.

"Your name feels stupid on my teeth, so I'll never remember it. But from this day forward you are now my arch nemesis," Sanji declared before stomping off.

Law wore a victorious expression. "I did it," he mumbled, mainly to himself. Head held higher, he continued on to the school, the girls hanging onto his every action and word with renewed frenzy.

: :

Over the weekend, Corazon indulged him in a bit of spoiling because Law was forced to wear a cast for the next six weeks. He allowed him to get his ears pierced, and it was a big event. The group crowded Claire's for nearly an hour while he waited, and once he emerged from the shop with glittering studs in his ears, Law couldn't wait to test his heartthrob powers on the girls at school. He knew Sanji was going to be so angry because girls couldn't resist boys with pierced ears. He couldn't wait to see his reaction.

Sure enough, the girls swamped him at school. They blushed and sneaked pics – which he allowed. He posed with some of them with conditioned head tilts and angles that he knew worked well with the camera. The studs winked brightly at his earlobes while he looked for that bratty sixth grader. Sure enough, Sanji looked over because all the girls he usually greeted were crowded around Law.

Law pushed his way through them to approach him, Sanji's face darkening with a pout. Law turned his head this way and that to make sure the kid could see the diamonds twinkling in the morning sun.

"I am officially irresistible," Law bragged. "I can't keep the girls off me. I have more Instagram requests today than I did the beginning of the year. What did you do this weekend?"

"Helped the old man work in the soup kitchen," Sanji muttered sullenly, reaching up to feel his own ear lobes. Then he furrowed his brow while Zoro yawned noisily next to him, his eyes still closed and his green hair mussed. "Did you know? Guys who wear earrings are vain?"

"Guess it helps. I am swimming in girls and you…you're working the soup kitchens on the weekend. Who wins in this situation?"

Sanji scowled, then thought about it. "Girls are life," he decided, "but when they're tired of fuckboys they're going to swamp the good men who don't pierce their ears to look pretty. This is fact."

"No it's not!"

"I'd rather be some girl's King than some girl's reason to say 'men are trash'," Sanji decided, cheering up. With a content hum Sanji walked off, calling out merrily to the teachers that responded to him warmly.

Law frowned after him, reaching up to do one of the many twistings he had to do to his new earrings.

Zoro looked at him, lifting heavy eyelids to do so. "Is this a popularity competition?"

"This is a Not Your Business competition. Go grow on some north side of the rocks!"

"Because I think it's weird that some big kid picks out a little kid's judgment. That's all." Zoro yawned again before wandering off to the parking lot, causing Law to frown after him.

It's true, he thought later in class, a little bewildered. Why the fuck am I making such a big deal out of all these little things? Baby was right – I even dressed up as a girl to get his damn attention!

He gave the whiteboard a frustrated look. It was just annoying that he never gave me the attention I deserved. He ignores me and pretends I'm not there. He doesn't even know my damn name! Everyone knows my name! Why doesn't he?

But wait…

He glanced around his classroom, taking in the sight of the other boys leaning over their tables to complete their work. Why don't I want their attention? I don't care about them…

I don't care about him, either! he then thought with a frown. But it matters that he give me the attention I demand.

But doesn't that sound weird?

He rolled his eyes up to the ceiling, taking in the sight of some cobwebs. The sight of a jumping spider making its way to a nearby wall caused him to light up. He rummaged through his backpack with one hand before a girl sitting nearby offered to help him.

"I need that thing," he said, pointing at the spider. The girl gave him a confused look, but she found his pencil case. "My uncle collects them."

After she caught the spider and gave him the pencil case, Law looked down at the spider with a successful grin. It curled up at the bottom corner with a flinch. He zipped it up and set it to the corner of his table space as the girl fixed his backpack and shyly asked him for his help on the packet they were working on.

"Tell me, what do you think of my pencil case?" he asked her instead. She blushed at the attention. "It's Coach, by the way. I have a good friend who is too poor to afford a birthday gift to someone else, and because I'm a good friend, I'm going to give it to him to give to her. That way, she'll fall in love with him and he can be happy."

I'm going to give this to him, he thought with an evil expression. And he's going to give it to a girl, and she's going to hate him forever because of it! 'Men are trash', huh? Well, he's going to feel like trash after what he does to some idiot girl!

"You'll take the spider out, first, right?" she asked skeptically.

"Oh, of course! I'm going to put this in a gift bag, first."

"You're such a good friend," she said on a wistful sigh. "I wish I had a friend like you."

"Get a boob job," he told her.

She gave him an insulted look before he added smoothly, "You'd look great being my first wife, so it's important you look the part. Make all the other women jealous. I'll even pay for them when you're legal."

"You're so bad!" she squealed in delight.

Law found the blond kid after his PE class, running some errands for the school receptionist. He had an armful of textbooks that left his face red with strain, and what looked like flowers from outside on top. He hurried over to him, moving carefully so that he wouldn't cause his new Jordans creases.

"Hey, kid," he greeted, holding up the pencil case. Sanji looked up at him, sweating under the weight of his load. "Let me make up this morning's misunderstandings to you."

He placed it atop of Sanji's load, the sixth grader almost buckling at that point. Crossing his arms, Law smirked. "You can give this pencil case to a girl you like. It's practically brand new, and still smells of a dead cow. Every girl knows what it is. Maybe they can put their tampons into it."

"Oh…huh…well," Sanji grunted, clearly struggling. Unable to resist, Law patted the bag lightly, not wanting to smush the spider inside but wanting to torture him. "Ugh, stop! You bastard! Leave me alone! I'll find you to kick your ass later! I'm in no way thanking you, either! If you wanna give me your trash, I will find it a good home!"

With that he shakily continued on, Law watching him with evil satisfaction.

By the time Sanji made it back to class, he had to hastily throw his stuff together into his backpack while Zoro and Nami waited. Class was being released to their next period, and he hadn't a chance to inspect what Law had given him.

"What is this, Sanji?" Nami asked curiously, taking the bag he'd set atop of his desk.

"I don't actually know," Sanji answered, throwing on his backpack. He took it from her carefully, unsure of what 'Coach' meant. It looked like a gaudy object, something ladies used to fill their purses with. He wondered what 'tampons' were. "That one weird kid gave it to me."

"That big kid that keeps bullying you?" Zoro asked skeptically.

"Yeah, that one! I've never been bullied before, so I'm taking it as learning experience."

Zoro looked at him with approval. "Ooh, good one…it'll make you tough."

"It's really expensive," Nami stressed. "It's a Coach bag."

"Do you like it? You can have it, beautiful!"

"I don't like that style, but I'm telling you, you can get some good cash with that! Probably eight hundred bucks!" Nami fluttered her eyelashes. "Maybe you can get me something else with it!"

Sanji's eyes widened. He unzipped it as they began walking out into the halls. Prying it open, something small and light leapt onto his hand, and he froze in mid-step once the spider stretched out its front legs and lithely took to examining its surroundings.

"Ew!" Nami cried. "A jumping spider!"

Zoro's eyes widened as they locked on Sanji. Sanji had lost several colors, eyes rounding to the size of dinner plates.

The jumping spider began crawling up his arm with short darts, and Sanji imagined he could see every eye it possessed. He sucked in air as kids passed around them noisily. Every one of his limbs were locked in pure fear – the spider stopped darting to walk slowly up the sleeve of his shirt, and this time, Sanji jolted violently.

He shrieked at the top of his lungs, drawing attention his way. The spider leapt to safety, but he didn't see it. Nami and Zoro clamped their hands over their ears as everyone silenced with startled expressions their way. He slammed into some students, causing upset. Rolling around on the floor, Sanji flailed uselessly in an effort to kill the thing he imagined was still crawling on him. He ripped off his shirt and ran down the hall, slapping at himself.

The display caused kids to laugh uproariously, teachers trying to direct traffic and refocus attention elsewhere. The spectacle had caused the older kids to venture over to see what was happening, which included Law, Baby and Buffalo.

Smirking as Law thought that Sanji had given a girl the spider pouch, he chuckled.

"Let's see what the girls think of you now," he muttered to himself, Baby looking at him curiously.

"That was one scared girl, huh, Law?" Buffalo commented, looking bewildered.

"What'd you do?" Baby accused the boy as they headed to their next class.

"Oh, nothing," Law said blithely.

: :

The next morning, after they'd left Vergo's matte black Escalade, Law had just called out to his fangirls that were waiting for him near the curb when something heavy and immense slammed into him from the side. He ended up denting the back passenger side of Vergo's vehicle, tires screeching slightly as Vergo slammed on the brakes. Dazed, Law looked up to see Sanji standing there, steam rising from him (steam? or smoke? Law would have to decide for later). The kid's face, neck and arms were bright red, as if he were suffering from a whole body blush but his face was pure fury for something of his size.

"You shithead," Sanji snarled, causing an uproar in the students that were watching. "I will break another one of your goddamn limbs for what you did!"

Law gaped up at him, rising to his feet with a shaky stumble. His lungs felt like they'd collapsed. Vergo came to inspect the scene and saw that Law was recovering from a blow. He reached into his jacket pocket when Baby and Buffalo interrupted him with hands towards his face.

"Don't worry about it," Baby told him crossly. "Law pissed off the little kid and is going to make him pay."

"An attack on one member of the family is an attack on all of the family," Vergo said grimly, hand still within his jacket.

"Let Law recover his own dignity," Baby snapped at him.

"This is Law's fight now, dasuyan," Buffalo added grimly.

Law rolled his eyes, hitching up his backpack. "So the girl got scared of a little spider, so what? Didn't you at least try to rescue her – like a real man would?"

Sanji stared up at him, jaw jutting out stubbornly. Law watched him cautiously until the kid suddenly disappeared but Vergo took the next blow. The man stood in front of him stoically when Sanji's foot bounced off his chest, and he crumbled to the pavement – much to the awed horror of those watching.

Sanji looked at Vergo, estimated the man's strength, and decided it wasn't a battle he could win. So he looked up at Law, the older kid looking smug as he watched him safely from behind the big man.

But to his horror, the kid's round eyes glittered with tears, lower lip trembling. Law reacted with shock, mouth dropping open. Sanji hastily picked himself up, dashing his tears away with his arm.

"You're a dick, Trafalallalala!" Sanji shouted him, racing off to protect his dignity while Law watched after him.

Then he realized what he said. "That's not my name! Hey! Kid! Come back here!"

Vergo stopped him from giving chase. "I think it's important to remain back and think about your actions," he said grimly. "Whatever you did…Doflamingo will be proud of you for sticking up to that bully child. It is retribution well paid for your broken wrist."

Law nodded in agreement, looking at his bright yellow cast. But his expression dropped a bit as he looked in the direction Sanji had raced off to. The feeling settling in his stomach…was it guilt? Or deadly organ failure caused as a result of the impact caused by Sanji's kick?

Law did hear the story of some sixth grader reacting dramatically to a spider yesterday, but the gossip was riddled with disdain in that it was a boy causing the ruckus. Law wondered if the spider had actually been a poisonous spider; he wondered if Doflamingo had enough in legal fees in the event that he was sued for bodily harm.

Then he thought of the way Sanji had looked at him and felt that crippling stomach pain again. So he went to the nurse's office and made his complaints.

Later that day, Corazon was driving him home while Law slumped in the seat, sighing every little while.

"I'm taking you to the hospital, Law," Corazon said with determination. "That kid must've ruptured every one of your inner organs."

"Cora," Law said tentatively, rubbing his stomach, "I don't think I'm hurt that bad. But…how much does Doflamingo have to pay for a lawyer? What if he sues me for having him bit by a poisonous spider?"

"A jumping spider isn't poisonous, Law," Corazon assured him.

"But what if? He looked at me with a crying face," Law insisted. "He looked at me and I felt like…we should arm ourselves."

"Who is this kid torturing you?" Corazon cried.

"He's this little kid! He's not that big of a threat -!"

"Then why are you coming home like this? He dented Vergo's Escalade! By the way, when we get home, ignore Doflamingo's punishing tactics from the living room. I swear, we need to modernize ourselves," Corazon then muttered with some embarrassment.

"I just feel like there was so much promise in those eyes. They were really big, like a puppy's," Law said with a sigh, leaning against the window. Corazon furrowed his brow with confusion. "I felt like…I made a big mistake. I broke the final straw."

"You think he'll kill you this time?" Corazon cried in panic, swerving into another lane as he looked with his whole body at the boy. Law cringed in his seat, holding onto his seatbelt with both hands and squeezing his eyes shut as Corazon hastily corrected himself.

"I feel like…maybe I shouldn't have done that…? That…I could have possibly…hurt him," Law said slowly, trying to figure out this exact pain. His stomach ached suddenly, as well as his chest. He gripped it with one hand. "He cried, Cora. He cried and I felt funny. I just feel like it's a premonition."

"We are the strongest family in this town, Law," Corazon assured him grandly. "No harm will come to us. We will go to him!"

"No…it's not that type of pain. I just…every time I close my eyes, I just see him crying," Law swore. "I see him crying and I regret what I did, but not in the way that I fear revenge…but in a different way."

Corazon looked puzzled. "Maybe you're psychic and predicting the future, Law."

Law found this suitable. Having powers was cool. "Hmm…maybe…"

"Should we transfer you to another school?"

"Hell no! If I have to face the impending consequences, I will do so like a damn man! I'm not running from this!"

"Thatta boy!"

Law then sighed again, directing his attention out the window. "Should I apologize just in case?"

"We don't make apologies, Law, just amendments."

Law furrowed his brow with confusion, sure that was the same thing. "Maybe I should," he said. "Just in case because what if this feeling I'm having is a premonition in that he came from a stronger family, and we had to learn a harsh lesson in humility because of it… It'd hang on us for days! I should just apologize, I don't care what you guys say…"

"But there's nothing to apologize for."

"Yeah, but…with that sort of terror, I bet it was a baby black widow spider. I bet they can't afford hospital visits, so he tried to kill me. But," Law finished before Corazon could say anything, "I think I'll just do my own thing and fix it since I caused it."

"So…no hospital…?"

"I feel better. Let's stop for some ice cream," Law chirped, spotting a soft serve in the nearby strip mall.

The next day, Law sought the kid out. But Sanji had been suspended for fighting with another student, and those stomach pains returned with a vengeance. So Law found himself moping at home after school, thinking that only he could step between the kid's revenge and the safety of his family. This horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach could only suggest that he had to prepare for the very worst, and since he caused it, he had to stand in front of it.

Law imagined that Sanji would return to school with a bunch of old men, armed to the teeth with guns. He also imagined Sanji stabbing him in the back with a shiv while he used the urinal. He imagined the kid lucking out with a head kick or ripping out his new earrings out in a slow torture scene. He imagined being kidnapped and sold to a family that went to Walmart regularly. He imagined Sanji finding the spider, squishing it and somehow hiding it in his food. The girl-happy little blond kid turned into a monstrous devil in Law's nightmares, cackling with that faint lisp he had and skipping his back into Hell with Law in his grasp.

All these scenarios gave Sanji a monstrous light, but he kept telling himself not to be afraid of a damn twelve (and a half!) year old. So when he went to school on Monday morning, girls fawning over him with flirtatious greetings, he immediately scouted the campus for any sign of that kid. He spotted Sanji walking cheerily, calling out to all the girls around him and hastily helping out a teacher as she fumbled with her cellphone and coffee.

He looked nothing like the way Law had been dreaming about him. Just a happy-go-lucky kid that wore a bright pink button up shirt over blue shorts and old Converses that were untied. Law veered in that direction, wearing a determined look. He blocked the kid's path, Sanji looking up at him with a slow moving frown that settled into a scowl.

Before Law could say anything, Sanji sighed dramatically and said with a cross expression, "I'm sorry for intimidating you. I guess I am pretty scary for a sixth grader, and the old man said I must pull in my power. Also…"

He took his backpack off while Law looked at him with annoyance, unable to process that he was being apologized to after all this week's torture. Sanji withdrew a container from his backpack. He begrudgingly held it out for Law to take.

Taking it, Law opened it to see that it was a bunch of frosted cupcakes and cookies with apologies written on them. They were sloppily made, with too much frosting that had smeared upon the inside of the lid.

"The old man made me do it as punishment," Sanji grumbled, throwing his backpack on. "So…I'm sorry for making your life shitty."

Law sputtered, closing the container. Buffalo snatched it from his hands, sharing with Baby before he even had a chance to partake.

"You can't apologize to me!" Law snapped at the boy, who looked up at him defiantly. "I'm supposed to apologize to you, dick head!"

"No, I have to!" Sanji insisted.

"I was the one that thought of this plan! I made the mistake!"

"I have to do this, so accept my apology!"

"No! You don't get to apologize to me so grandly! I'm the one that has to, and I will do so," Law snapped at him. "I'm sorry for making you cry!"

Sanji reddened, looking around to see if anyone had heard that. Then he scowled up at the boy, hissing, "I didn't cry!"

"You did! And I'm sorry! I didn't think you were afraid of spiders."

"Well, I'm sorry for ruining your face! And wrist…and reputation," Sanji added slowly, Law blinking with obliviousness. Sanji's feet shuffled nervously. "I accidently told people that you were afraid of me as your arch nemesis and you only did this to get back at me for taking all your girlfriends."

Law's face fell flat because he was sure his reputation was fine. The attention he got commonly told him so.

"You are so dumb," he said on a sigh. "I can't take you seriously as my arch nemesis."

"But I'm a good opponent! I'm Hulk to your Loki."

Law gasped with outrage. "I am not Loki."

"You are. You're squirrelly and back stabbing and you try too hard to be the best character and takes too much screen time," Sanji insisted while Law's face reddened with insult. "You're a…a…Mary Sue?"

"I am not -!"

"I don't know what that is," Sanji confessed, "but that's what one of the cooks said."

Law reddened with fury. Sanji waited for a response. When he didn't get one, he glanced up and around Law before resettling on him. Sputtering words, Law struggled to formulate a sentence. Ever the picture of patience, Sanji then began flossing, which caused Law to freeze up.

"Are you done?" Sanji asked, arms swinging to a stop.

"You…were you just…flossing?"

"Yeah." After some consideration, he asked sullenly, "Do you want to floss with me? The old man told me I have to be nicer to boys…"

He then leaned in to whisper, "You don't have to floss with me. It's kinda embarrassing if two guys are doing it facing each other."

All the insults built on Law's tongue, but none of them left him properly because he was too outraged to release them individually. Unable to understand this new language, Sanji's attention span drifted away again.

Exhaling, Sanji then said, "Well, I did what that old man said! Time to move on!"

He fluttered away while calling out to a teacher, shoe laces flapping while Law fumed, fists curled at his sides.

"That…brat….!" he snarled. "Flossing in front of me like - ! Ugh! Repugnant! Stupid! Dumb ass forever virgin!"

At home, Baby watched with amusement as Diamante taught Law how to floss. The kid kept mixing up his hip movements, growing so enraged that he gave up the dance altogether. Doflamingo and Corazon were attempting to join in, but Corazon hurt his hip (somehow) and Doflamingo kept turning his arm movements into jazz hands. Buffalo was twirling around in circles around them, collapsing out of dizziness moments later.

"What a bunch of buffoons," she scoffed, stuffing her mouth with chips.

A/N: I've seen little kids floss randomly – extra points to the eye contact. The level of confidence is amazing XD XD

Naghi-Tan: He's very childish and happy and smol! My dream had a few key points that I delivered here in these chapters but I notice little kids doing all sorts of strange stuff that I want to write about lol so who knows how long this story will continue for?

Harmonica Smile: Just a smol kid in a smol town doing smol things lmao

gee: that's a great idea! Hmm, I'll keep that in mind…

12tailedninja-demon: *uses Ouija board to communicate* *too scared to* *abandons board*

Guest: lol! gives me whiplash thinking about it!

Greeny: He has no idea he's crushing and probably won't until he's older – when it's too late lol But Baby and Buffalo will never let him forget it! Sanji's home life will be looked into, soon as I find an actual plot for this story lol

Snowflake97: I hope it continues to be fun to read because it's fun to write XD