57: I will not grab a guitar and start singing Wake Me Up When September Ends in a loud shrieking half screaming voice.
yet again was Mike throat punched by Levi as soon as the short commander heard the butchering of a good song.
58: I will not TP as much of the HQ as I can.
Jean had to clean it all up by himself. the nasty part was that it wasn't him, but Eren who threw the toiletpaper.
59: I will not walk up to Levi and say "I am your father!"
Levi was not amused.
60: I will not organise an army of garden gnomes.
"RISE, MY PRETTIES! LET US TAKE OVER THE WORLD BEFORE THE TITANS DO AHAHAHAAAH!"
"... Hanji... what the fuck are you doing?"
61: I will not kidney punch my friend randomly.
kidney punching Armin wasn't that bad. unlike him, Reiner actually punched back.
62: I will not cosplay while on any missions.
Hanji in a revy-two hands outfit was much appreciated amongst the men. Reiner in a sailor moon outfit... not so much
63: I will not handcuff Eren and Jean together.
(the following part was too gory/bloody and psychotic that the author was requested to remove said part.)
64: I will not kill captured titans
"NOOOOOOOO!" (sob.)
"HANJI! SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
65: I will not handcuff Hanji and Levi together.
strangely enough, no exploding noise was heard all day from Hanji's lab, but during dinner, both had wrinkled clothing, messed up hair and a glazed look in their eyes. they avoided each other for a full week.
66: I will not peek on the women during bath time
Eren and Berthold managed to keep the girls from castrating Connie after they caught him hanging from a branch above them.
67: I will not pretend to be a ninja with the 3DMG.
"YEAGER! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE, NOW!"
"nin-nin."
68: I will not drink a bottle of hot sauce.
Sasha wanted a bit of revenge at Connie for peeking and decided to switch his beer for a bottle of 'uncle clement's extra hot death pepper sauce' while he wasn't looking. he drank the whole thing, and before he realised it, he was exhaling smoke, shitting fire and vomiting embers.
69: I will not replace the swords with rubber sticks.
"haaaaah!" Jean swung his blades at a titan's neck before the things rebounded and slapped himself in the face.
"EREN, YOU DICK!"
"nin-nin"
70: I will not form a band with my fellow teammates.
the suprising thing was that 'the fallen', consisting of Eren, Mikasa, Levi and Sasha were actually pretty good. however the noise kept attracting titans so they had to disband.
71: I will not use the recon corps funds to buy useless junk.
"hoover." Levi said to Berthold.
"yes sir?"
"why did you order a stuffed jalapeno doll with our funds?"
"because it was cute sir."
"bring it back."
"yes sir."
72: I will not perform any satanic rituals.
it was pretty awkward when Jean accidentally walked in on Krista, wearing nothing but a black bikini top and red skirt while chanting a reversed version of 'our father who art in heaven' in front of a pentagram made of candles.
it got even worse when Armin sat next to her and startet to chant along.
73: I will not organise a karaoke night.
Hanji's singing. 'nuff said.
74: I will not invite everyone to a waterpark.
it turned out to become a normal day, however Berthold slipped and pushed Eren into Mikasa, causing them to accidentally kiss.
75: I will not imitate major armstrong of fullmetal alchemist.
Eren: *crying manly tears while bulging his muscles* "allow me to artistically defeat these titans using the techniques passed down the yeager line for generations!"
Levi: "yeager... what the fuck are you doing?"
76: I will not name Armin 'mini-me'
"REINER, PUT ME DOWN!"