A Shurpuff work, published at his request.
Shurpuff's Note: To reiterate, fiction is not completely chronological in presentation. I intended to jump around the ten-year gap between the end of the rebellion and present-day Gintama.
Finding a half-way decent diner was a pain, having to cough up for the overpriced menu was gut-wrenching, but at least they easily found a table. A nice little corner booth, where they could see everything. Gintoki left the annoying task of scoping out the surroundings for potential threats to Hajime while he closed his eyes in an attempt to catch even just a second of sleep.
Hajime whistled. "Seems like we're kinda lucky, Gin-san. Place is filling up fast."
Gintoki opened one eye to confirm that. Where the tables were once sparsely occupied, now Amanto of all sizes filled every space. With that came the sudden rise in temperature, as well as the pressure to keep watch on the population for any funny business.
Gintoki snorted. "Least we ordered first. Then we won't have to be hungry."
"Wonder if the kitchen can handle it."
"Well, we do needed to be cheap to make our next ticket out of here."
Their meals came, by way of whistling, steaming, serving 'bot that spoke in garbled Edoite. A fancy invention that: which made Gintoki distantly recall something about some mechanical genius that Zura had contacted back on Earth.
Gintoki deftly cut a limb off of the vaguely octopus-like thing (it was best not to think too much of Amanto cuisine), then squeezed the limb's juice over his grilled meat-of-animal-he-didn't-want-to-know-about. He then used one of the provided plastics to expertly pin the squirming octopus-thing in place.
"You've really mastered eating like that, huh Gin-san?" Hajime said. His own octopus had been drained of all its blood, now spattered all over his meal.
"What did I say about killing it, man?" said Gintoki, shaking his head.
"Still can't get the hang of that plastic thingie."
"You use it like one of 'em forks," Gintoki replied. He unpinned his octopus then pinned it back to demonstrate. Its cut limb was now slowly regrowing.
That was the trick. With all the chemicals being pumped through the ventilation, the food'd rapidly lose its flavor. The solution was constant basting with the condiment-octopi, a creature known for rapidly regenerating itself, tasty blood and all, as long as it was alive.
"It's also way too small... Well, s'not like it matters. I like this meal dry and unappealing." Hajime scraped a few servings to mouth with chopsticks.
"Here, use mine," Gintoki said, slicing off the limb that had just been regrown, then repouring it over Hajime's meal.
They ate on, surreptitiously taking turns to keep watch. They slowed down when they were about to finish. There weren't any clear rules here about staying too long, but if it came to it they could at least have the remaining food to indicate that yes, they weren't done.
They needed to prolong the stay here: it was either this or finding some empty alley to sleep.
Hajime twitched. "Whoa. Someone's making a beeline here. Probably wants to share tables. What do we do Gin-san?"
Gintoki took a glance. A humanoid person covered head to toe in a drab traveling suit was indeed coming their way. He had on goggles and helmet. "Huh. The guy's got a lot of food. Well, I think he's alone. Let's not appear too ungracious." It would also be another good excuse: the guy'd probably take long to eat everything on his tray.
"Excuse me," said the guy, "But could I use some time to eat here at your table? I promise I won't be long; I have a shuttle to catch in an hour."
Gintoki raised an eyebrow. "'Some time'? You've got a buffet right there on your hands friend." He made a show of being reluctant as he shrugged. "But alright. Help yourself."
"I appreciate your generosity." Gintoki scooted over in his side, so the person would sit by him. Being the more experienced of the duo, should something occur, he'd be there to grapple the guy first.
Gintoki saw Hajime jerk in surprise. When they made eye contact, the kid slowly said, "That's a nice parasol you got friend." He laughed. "You a Yato by any chance?"
It took a lot of effort not to freeze. "Mmm. I guess you could say that," the guy said. "It's not a problem, is it? I can leave if you want."
"Nope," Gintoki chirped. Now they definitely needed to keep watch. "We've seen a lotta things stranger than the Yato."
"Hoh? Are you travellers by any chance? What planet are you from?" The guy began shoveling large handfuls of meat into his mouth.
"He's from the planet Waiiha. Earthling parents," Gintoki lied. "Though I guess you could technically call him an Amanto..." Their cover stories changed from planet to planet. "I'm a half-Earthling from Cerberus II." Home to the sugar-addicted and human-compatible race known as the Gavities.
"I thank you for being forthright," the guy said through a full mouth. "I travel myself, though it's more of a job. Do you guys do a lot of fighting? You've got the eyes of wandering warriors... mercenaries?"
It was a credit to the kid that he kept on smiling goofily in spite of that. "Er... yeah, we've been in some scrapes. I gotta tell ya though, they've all been pretty hair-raising situations."
"Wait, did you just say 'hair'?" the guy suddenly said in a tone that set Gintoki on edge.
"Huh? Yeah he did say 'hair-raising situations'." Gintoki replied casually, signalling Hajime with his eyes to be ready for an outburst. "What's up?"
After a beat, the guy coughed. "My apologies," he said in a lighter tone. "I must've misheard."
No, but you didn't mishear hair, Gintoki wanted to say.
The guy cleared his throat and resumed eating. "Do you work for anybody? How do you get by?" he asked.
He let Hajime do the talking. "Well, you're right in that we're sorta mercenaries. We're independent," he said. "Traveling from place to place and paying our way with our skills. The whole galaxy seems like a dangerous place, and we found a lot of folks who needed protecting and such."
The guy grunted. "In that case, we're not all that different." He gulped down some of the brownish liquid churning in his glass. "Frequent traveler and soldier-for-hire... Though lately I've been dealing with some pretty big fish."
Hajime whistled. "You must be plenty experienced, sir. You deal with a lotta bigwigs in your line of work then?"
"Bigwigs?" The guy paused in taking a bite of his meat. They saw he'd half-risen from his seat. "Hold on. Did you just say 'wig'?"
Gintoki started from his self-induced stupor. "Ahh... yeah, he said wig, pal. Bigwigs. You know, those high society types? Big fancy corporations and such... Why? Is something the matter?"
"Oh..." the guy said slowly. After an awkward silence, he continued eating. "Sorry," he said. "Bit of a long day, you understand... hearing things and such..."
"Mmmyep," Gintoki ventured warily. "Yeah we've been there..."
The hell was up with this guy?
The guy coughed. "Mmph. It's not like I care, if you were wondering. Wigs are useful for certain species like ourselves, who have a need to keep up appearances. But I guess people can get sensitive over it, which is perfectly understandable, so we should all learn to be discreet." He barked a laugh. "I'm not saying I, or you for that matter, need wigs, today, or in the foreseeable future, you understand. But we know, and uh, acknowledge, that they can be a necessity, for when the time comes, uh-huh."
"Er..." Even Hajime seemed at a loss. He couldn't understand why the stranger was going off on weird tangents like that.
"...Going back to travel," Gintoki said, forcibly steering the conversation back to port, "As I see it, space is pretty big huh?"
"Mmm," the man chewed thoughtfully. "About how many planets have you been to?"
"I lost count at thirty," said Hajime.
"Have you ever traveled via the forbidden routes?"
"No, but we have heard of their reputation."
The guy took care in shredding the next meal on his plate. "It's said amongst the empires that those uncharted lands are over five times their size-combined. But for each system the 'Hounds' or 'Royals' reclaim from the 'black zones', two more are discovered by enterprising adventurer or Harusame scout.
"Space is vast. There are more wonders out there than our little minds can comprehend. It a most lovely place; it is also quite frightening. My passport claims that I have been to five hundred systems, but those were only for work. (And I'd travelled incognito through hundreds more without passport for a while.)
"Hmph. But I guess you didn't need an old fart telling you all that. One word of advice, in slight repayment for this favor you've given me: don't waste your lives out there. Even the Harusame cannot find you if you truly wished to hide-if perhaps you'd angered them because of your job. There are plenty of refuge planets spread throughout the galaxy, and migrating colony fleets pick up thousands of outcasts everyday.
"Space, for all its treachery, is also one of the only good things you must experience in life. That is what I believe. That's why it's worth it to run and live another day, if only to be able to spend that day waking up to a whole new sunset on a brand new world."
Seemingly done, the guy went on with devouring the latter half of his meal. Hajime grinned. "Those were some pretty heavy words you had there, sir. They felt real heavy in my gut; I'm not done eating my food and I'm already full!"
"No offense, pal," Gintoki said, squeezing out more blood from the octopi-condiment. "But me and him-well me especially-can't really follow big words like that too well. I'm all for inspiration, but sometimes people can get too much in depth that I can't understand 'em at all."
The guy made an assenting grunt. "You're young. Sooner or later, it all just clicks into place, like bullets into the chamber."
Gintoki made a show of thinking while he chewed. "'Young', huh? Well, if having a simple mind means I'm young, then I can live with being young forever, like Conan."
"Amen to that," Hajime said, raising his glass in a pseudo-toast.
"'Cause I mean... it's a pain having to think and worry about stuff. If I'm ever going to be forced to do that, I'd rather rip my hair off and go bald-"
"You should never wish to be bald! Whatever happens, no matter how bitter or sorrowful life can get, one must treasure the hair on one's head!" the guy suddenly shouted, standing and slamming his hands on the table. Gintoki found himself quite surprised at the thunder coming from the stranger that it made him almost draw his hidden sword. In front, he could tell Hajime had done the same.
The diner had gone partially silent for a few moments, staring towards their booth, after which everyone went on minding their own business.
The guy slowly took a seat. After a whole, uncomfortable moment of silence he quickly shoveled the rest of his food into his mouth, stood, took tray, bid goodbye and thanks, then left the table.
Gintoki sighed. Hajime watched the guy go, confusion on his face.
"So what was the deal with that guy?" the kid asked.
"Beats me," Gintoki replied. He wiped off bits of food and liquid from his coat. He picked at his meat, then, knowing how much of that guy's food had splattered onto it, pushed it to the side, sighing. "You heard what he said. Space equal big. We were bound to run into a weirdo every once in a while."
"Sounded interesting though. And he seemed well-traveled! He could've been a good source of some epic space stories."
Gintoki made a disbelieving snort.
"Sorry~~" came a voice behind him. "Could I have this seat for a bit?" Gintoki pricked his ears. Out in space, one could usually tell that someone, Earthling or Amanto, had been to Earth through their speech. There was just that peculiar accent that stood out in his ears.
Curious, he tilted his head. And promptly turned his head back.
"Whatever you do," he told Hajime in the most serious voice he could muster. "Don't let that guy sit." He fiddled with his disguise: he'd had the kid tie the fabric around such that none of his hair should be visible, but there was yet that small chance that a stray piece of gray perm would poke out.
And that would be bad news, especially to someone who'd recognize his particular shade of hair.
And that particular someone was here, as unlikely a coincidence as it was: showing up at this particular diner on this particular planet of this particular system on this particular fucking minute.
He checked again, made sure he wasn't seeing things... Nope that was definitely his hair, and also that mile-wide grin that never left the idiot's face, that could never fool anyone who knew him, in spite of the shades and the snazzy suit.
"How about you, sirs?" came his voice, much nearer. "Could I have this fine seat?"
"Buzz off ape," burbled the person sitting right behind Gintoki. "Ain't sharing your stink."
"Ahahaha! That's alright! I'll just spread my stink somewhere else then!"
"We can't turn down a guy like that, Gin-san," Hajime whispered. "Times like this, us earthlings should stick together!" The kid moved to wave the guy over.
"Shit! Alright then, promise me this kid: no matter what, don't mention my name! Don't mention it or I'm stranding you here!"
"Why're you so worried Gin-san? Surely the guy can't be any weirder than the Yato from before?"
"That guy's a billion times worse!" Gintoki hissed. He could hear the person's footsteps coming closer to the last booth on this side of the diner.
"Whoa! Today's a lucky day, it looks like! Two Earthlings, or my eyes be lying! Howdy 'doo to you, sirs! It's a nice day to be sharing a table, huh? Ahahaha!"
Sakamoto Tatsuma stood in front of their table expectantly, his grin almost mirroring Hajime's.
Gintoki covered up his end of the seat. He wasn't going to be sitting next to that moron, nosiree. Let two cheerful idiots be idiots over on the other side.
"...always nice to see a friendly face in these parts," Hajime was saying. "Come over and sit, buddy. Our table's free everytime!"
"Ahahaha! Man I can't tell you how much this brightens my soul! Can you believe that ever since we docked on this planet, I've been having the worst luck imaginable?" said Tatsuma, while he set about pouring octopi-blood over his meal. "Got kicked out outta my ship. Some blue-skinned babe fleeced me off the last coins in my pocket, and then a septic tanker almost-well, that one might have been lucky too come to think of it-crashed on the street I was in! You guys are my absolute oasis."
"Well, you made it out fine, which is the only thing that matters, don't you think?" said Hajime.
"Wise words," said Tatsuma, making a mock-toast. "Anyway, let me just introduce myself: the name's Sakamoto Tatsuma, and I do shipping and transporting services." He gave them each a business card. It was very smart and professional, showing off "Kaientai Transports" in bold letters. "Won't say we're cheap, but we are certified A-minus by Intergalactic Trade and we've had a stellar track record of successful deliveries." He made a thumbs up. "So what's your story, if you don't mind me asking?"
"Waiiha-raised Earthling," said Hajime pointing to himself. "He's a half-Gavit from Cerberus. We're travelers... of a sort."
"Been to a lot of planets then?" Tatsuma said, slurping his soup side with gusto. "How's space feelin' to ya so far?"
"Can't complain. Not a dull day, though it'd be better if we could eat three times a day. But everything and everywhere's an adventure."
"I hear ya." Tatsuma snapped his fingers. "Oh, have you folks ever visited Earth?"
"I was there with my parents awhile back," said Hajime.
"Ah, now that's a shame. Absolutely lovely place, Earth. Wanted to know if I could be updated: last I heard from the ol' blue ball was a state visit from Prince Hata a few months back. It's all dried up since."
"Did you live on that planet?"
"'Till two, maybe three years ago, that was my home!" said Tatsuma. "I've been to plenty of other planets, but nothing's ever beat good old Earth. I left there with only the clothes on my back and my dick tucked in nice and comfy... now look at me: captain of my own ship and enough booty to get me some booty at Planet Harem! Well, there's a long way to go before I can comfortably retire, but... baby steps."
"Wow, you must be a really lucky guy," Hajime remarked.
"I give thanks to anyone listening that I am so," Tatsuma said, putting his hands together briefly. He burped slightly. "So is your friend one of 'em silent types?"
Gintoki only stared dully as attention was once more focused on him. He'd been putting off opening his mouth to eat, for fear of Tatsuma somehow recognizing his teeth formation or something. He glared significantly at Hajime.
"Um..." Hajime cleared his throat. "My friend's a bit shy... doesn't talk that much to strangers. Though I'm sure that if we'd been traveling together he'd be the best friend you ever had."
"Don't be scared, man," said Tatsuma. "I'm not going to bite, and your being a half doesn't mean anything. In cold, cold Space, everyone's got to huddle together or we'd all freeze to death. Ahahaha!
"Well, not that I'm going to pry. A person has the right to his secrets after all. Say, I've an idea. Where're you guys headed next? Perhaps I can take you there, you know, make up an excuse to pass by the planet so I can drop you off... that sorta thing..."
"Oh, that's plenty generous, sir," said Hajime, sharing a look with Gintoki. "But we don't have a lot of money left. And we're honorbound not to borrow money at all."
"Aw jeez, don't worry your little head about it! Ahahaha! It'll be free! No strings attached. S'not like I'm gonna shanghai you into my service or anything. Mutsu and the crew'd eat my head off if they found out I was taking 'slaves'." Tatsuma put hand to chin. "Though if you wanted to join my crew in an official manner, I can also do that. You guys look like you can handle yourselves in a scrap, and there's never a thing as too few muscle in this line of work..."
Hajime laughed. "Thanks for the offer but I know my friend here, and me personally, won't stand to be tied down at all, even for a tempting thing like a stable job!"
"Aww... That's disappointing, but I completely understand. Well, my offer of free transportation still stands, fellas. You want in?"
If he didn't know the man, Gintoki would have refused straight out. A joyful face might hide cruel heart.
Well, knowing the man, Gintoki wanted to refuse immediately. He didn't have time to deal with idiocy, particularly from the likes of Sakamoto.
But they were getting low on funds, and if they were able to not pay for their last tickets, they'd have some money leftover for a splurge later on down the line...
When he next caught Hajime's inquiring eye, he nodded, almost imperceptibly. The kid's face broke into a wide grin.
"Heh. Well, if my buddy doesn't object, then who am I to refuse? Alright then Mr. Sakamoto sir! We'll gladly take you up on that trip!"
"Excellent! I can tell this will be the start of a beautiful friendship, my brother!" Tatsuma took up his empty cup and toasted. "To Earth!"
"To Earth!" Hajime responded enthusiastically.
Wordlessly, Gintoki raised his fist in the air.
"My ship's got to leave in thirty minutes so we have to hurry," Tatsuma announced, after they left the diner after a short while.
Then he pointed out, after laughing nervously, that his ship was docked about thirty miles away on a different port. And the fastest route, via expensive taxi cruiser, would get them there in an hour. And didn't he mention that he'd been cleaned out, and that he'd paid for his diner food because he had a little bit of credit there?
"So could you guys help a buddy out?" Tatsuma asked, still grinning.
"What do we do?" Hajime asked him.
Mustering up all his rage, Gintoki gripped the idiot's neck and lifted. "Oi, what's the big idea here," he said, deepening his voice just enough to be unrecognizable. "Baiting us with shit like this, are you asking to get your ass kicked?" Any other person and he'd have just knocked this guy out for even daring to pull shit like this.
... On second thought, he so wanted to kick Tatsuma's ass for actually pulling this crap on him.
"... C-c-calm down, friend," Tatsuma said, squirming. "W-we don't have to take the taxi... we can just wait... they won't ever leave their captain behind... well, most of the time... A-A-and we'd only had one job lined up today... so I trust they'll help out..."
"I ain't buying that crap," Gintoki rumbled. "They say the penniless share their miseries and their joys, but I never heard mention of having to share trust. Goodbye and good riddance Mr. Sakamoto." He let go. Motioning for a hesitant Hajime to follow, Gintoki walked away.
He heard Tatsuma hack and cough behind him. "W-wait... Don't leave yet... We've still got lots of catching up to do, you know? Cause it's sure been a long time, right?
"Kintoki?"
Gintoki screeched to a stop. Slowly, he turned back to Tatsuma.
The other samurai sheepishly placed a hand at the back of his head. "Ahahahaha! Nice...nice to meet you again?"
Drop kick! When the dust settled, Gintoki sighed, gesturing a cautious all-clear to Hajime. "Get a taxi, wouldja?"
"Sure thing, Gin-san!" Hajime ran off to the nearest computer terminal.
"Oi Tatsuma," he said, lifting the guy to his feet. "I expect full VIP service on this rig of yours. And I'll want a dozen, no three dozen parfaits or whatever sweet dish you can scrounge up!"
It turned out the queue for the taxi services was going to take another hour. So all Gintoki had to pay for in the end was Sakamoto's call to his second-in-command, requesting the ship transfer ports to pick up their wayward captain. The port close to them was about thirty minutes worth of walking, so walk they did.
Gintoki and Hajime then ended up spending a week with the Kaientai, due to some logistics issues that Tatsuma didn't want to touch, and an adventure or two.
After parting ways, Gintoki wouldn't see Tatsuma again, until after the Massacre.
Obviously Tatsuma would never again see the person who surprisingly got along well with him.
Waiiha. He was expecting Takasugi within the next few days.
He'd left little Kagura up at their hotel room, the Yato asleep after almost literally inhaling the dinner buffet. He was pretty sure any buffet at Edo wouldn't have been as accepting of the child's antics.
The planet boasted eternal summer days, but it also had summer nights. Waiiha never truly slept; with some guests preferring the joy of the sun and waves, while others took to embracing the hot, sweltering night-life, of neon-lit parties and booze and other night-time pleasures.
He'd sat back at the hotel bar, nursing a mug of hot Waiihan sake while watching drunk women getting it on in the dance floor. A dopey smile would come to his face when he'd spy a nip slip, or someone's piece falling off entirely.
Then a panting, drunk Tatsuma stumbled out from the crowd, his glasses clearly absent. Gintoki shook his head. A long time since and coincidences were still rampant in the universe.
Tatsuma seemed to feel the same. The man didn't seem surprised to see Gintoki here.
"Please don't tell Mutsu I'm here," he gasped, taking Gintoki's bottle and draining it, to his chagrin. "S'far as she knows I'm off negotiating a business trade on the other side of the planet..."
They spent some time catching up. Apparently Tatsuma owned a few more ships now. The Kaientai had become something of an acknowledged galactic enterprise, particularly after successfully transporting Royal Prince Hata's specimens safely through a space anomaly.
For himself, Gintoki only ventured news that the kid hadn't made it. This seemed to sap all of Tatsuma's previous mirth. They toasted the kid after, Tatsuma offering a late eulogy to the fallen.
"...you know, he called me, once." They'd ordered a second bottle of Amanto sake.
"Hm?" Gintoki set down his cup.
"Hajime. Must've been-" Tatsuma suppressed a burp. "Five, six months ago? Wanted to come aboard. I figured: you two had a little fight, so I didn't make any solid promises."
"Ahhh..." Gintoki remembered. Six months ago was-yes, the timing was about right. As Tatsuma'd become silent, perhaps waiting for an answer, he grunted. "Jus' something stupid."
Tatsuma blew out a breath, and didn't press any further. After a brief silence, where Tatsuma poured out another round, he said, "So, you given thought to what I told you before?"
Gintoki coughed. "Actually I did."
Tatsuma's brows quirked. "Really?"
"Yep. I'm heading home after this little vacation. There's nothing left here in space for me," he hesitated. "... And I also have some unfinished business concerning Hajime."
Tatsuma clapped his hands once. "Well, that sounds great. Good for you!" He was about to say something else, but then he closed his mouth and frowned.
"What is it?" Gintoki asked.
Tatsuma looked reluctant to say anymore, but then said, "Will you still be working with Takasugi?"
Gintoki went perfectly still. He looked away, choosing to stare into the depths of his cup.
"I've heard some whisperings," Tatsuma continued. "Word comes around to my crew, when they go on shore leave." He snorted. "I even hear it through the grapevine, when I'm 'networking' like Mutsu'd suggested. Takasugi's gaining a little bit of notoriety out there. They say even the Harusame have taken to treading lightly around them. I'm not sure about that last part though; those pirates are still the biggest damned fish in this ocean. And then there's-"
"I haven't changed my mind, Tatsuma," Gintoki said quietly. He could feel the other's appraising gaze.
"...Ah. Hm. Well that's a pity." Tatsuma offered a brief smile. "Well, here's hoping you lot live to see the rise of Kaientai Intergalactic. Aha..." He downed the contents of his cup.
Gintoki didn't look at him. "Sorry, Tatsuma."
To his surprise, Tatsuma chuckled. "What're you apologizing for, eh, Kintoki? You've got to do something, so as your friend, I ain't going to rain on your parade. I can see you've already committed to this course, so the best I can do is wish you a safe journey."
It was another way of answering the hitherto unspoken question that had floated between them since they'd met at that diner: would he aid Takasugi? And the answer was, probably not.
It didn't disappoint Gintoki; rather it was a small comfort to realize Tatsuma's glow hadn't dimmed out here in space. Earth and Edo would be needing that in the future.
"By the way, it's Gintoki like I keep telling you..."
Tatsuma snickered. His smile faded. "But seriously though... Don't get yourself killed. You've already seen space. Large enough to drown the Earth, eh? Don't make me have to change course just to attend your funeral." He stuck out a finger sternly. "I mean it."
He raised a hand to cover his eyes from the sun. His whole body ached from being slammed through several walls.
He sat up. He heard Kagura's voice ringing in the air, followed by someone screaming in pain.
The blue, cloudless sky stretched all the way to the horizon. A cargo ship flew overhead, casting a brief shadow upon him.
Gintoki cast his gaze upward.
Somewhere out there, on this very moment, someone's friend died.
Somewhere out there, on this very moment, someone's friend plotted.
Somewhere out there, on this very moment, someone's friend laughed.
He closed his eyes. "I'm back, stupid Earth." he muttered to himself. A stray piece of debris patted his head from above.
Shurpuff: The Sakamoto-Hajime-Gintoki segment has a part two, but because I intended to be thematically focused, that will have to be published at a later chapter.