Sorry it's been so long since I updated I've been super busy! But I hope you like the new chapter :) Let me know what you think after you finish it :) THANKS!

The next day…everyone was walking on egg shells at work waiting for Olivia to show up. Elliot was sitting at his desk staring at her empty seat and Fin was glaring at Elliot with such anger Munch was sure he should take his gun away from him. Finally Olivia walked in and smiled at everyone as Cragen walked out of his office.

"Hey Olivia." Cragen said. "How are you?"

"I'm great." She said smiling. "I need to talk to you about something though."

"Okay." He said. "You want to go in my office?"

She shook her head. "No. No not necessary." She put her bag down. "How fast do you think you can have a letter of recommendation ready for me?"

Everyone stood up quickly. "Why?" Fin asked. "I thought you weren't leaving for a few months?"

Olivia shook her head. "No. Jake and I talked about it last night and we decided we want to go as soon as possible."

"Soon as in when?" Munch asked.

"We're leaving next Friday." Olivia said.

Elliot felt like he was going to throw up. "What?"

"Friday?" Fin asked walking closer to her. "But…why so soon?"

Olivia looked down at her desk, pretending to look for something because she was afraid to meet anyone's eyes. "Jake and I want to start our life together sooner rather than later."

"What's the difference between next Friday or a few months?" Cragen asked. "You don't even have a job lined up yet."

Olivia shrugged. "I know. But I'll find one. I mean you will write me a recommendation right?"

Cragen sighed. "Of course I will…I just hate to see you leave so quickly."

"Is this about me leaving without you finding a replacement?" She asked feigning ignorance.

"No. Don't worry about that…" Cragen said.

"Well then what's the problem?" She asked feeling her hands start to shake.

"I just don't want you to rush into anything you're not ready for." Cragen said.

Olivia was quiet for a moment. "I'm ready for this. I'm ready to get married and start my new life with Jake. Sorry if this is inconvenient for all of you but its happening and I really hope that you can support me on this decision."

"Liv we do support you..." Fin said walking right up next to her. "But this is just…really soon. We're going to miss you."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Why does everyone keep saying that? I'm not dying. Just moving. It will be fine." She said pulling her bag up on her shoulder again. "I was really hoping that you guys would be happier for me but I can see that's not going to happen. I have to meet Casey at the courthouse for trial. Just so we're clear this is my last case…" She started to walk towards the double doors.

When Olivia was gone, Fin turned to Elliot who was still standing in shock. "You son of a bitch."

"Alright calm down." Cragen said putting his hand up.

"I told you this would happen. She's running because of you." Fin said walking closer to Elliot.

"Back up." Munch said pushing Fin back. "Don't do anything stupid."

"Why do you have to always screw with her head?" Fin asked. "You know she acts tough but she's fragile Elliot."

"I had to tell her." Elliot said sighing. "Do you think this is what I wanted? You think I'm happy now?"

"I think you wanted to screw up all of our lives." Fin said. "It's always about what you want."

"Just because she said she's leaving doesn't mean she's going to go." Cragen said hopefully.

"Oh come on Cap…she's going. We all know that." Fin said rolling his eyes.

"We still have time to change her mind." Cragen said shrugging.

"Don't you get it?" Fin asked. "Liv is leaving because of this fool." Fin said pointing at Elliot. "There isn't going to be any opportunity to change her mind. You know Liv…she's more stubborn than anyone here…except for maybe Elliot. When she makes a decision she sticks to it."

"Maybe this is going to be good for Liv…maybe this is what she really does want." Munch said.

"It isn't. She's scared." Fin said. "We all know who she really loves…she's just pissed."

"If you're implying that she really loves me why would she be running?" Elliot asked.

"Because all you ever do is hurt her." Fin said softly.

Elliot took a deep breath before turning his back on Fin and walking towards the Cribs. When he was finally alone, he sat down on the bed closest to the door. His legs were shaking as he collapsed onto the bed, he put his head in his hands and let the tears fall…

When Olivia got to the courthouse, her heart was still pounding and she was trying really hard not to cry. She was so lost in thought she didn't even hear Casey calling her name until she was directly in front of her.

"Olivia?" Casey called nervously.

Olivia snapped out of her trance. "Hey. Hey."

"Are you okay? I called your name five times." Casey said taking in her disheveled appearance.

"Yeah I'm fine." Olivia said looking past Casey.

Casey stared at her for a moment. "What happened? Was there a shooting or something?"

"No. Seriously Casey I'm fine." Olivia smiled weakly.

Casey looked hard at Olivia, she looked like she hadn't slept all night or eaten anything. "Let's sit down for a second."

"Isn't the trial starting soon?" Olivia asked looking towards the courthouse doors.

"We have a little while." Casey said smiling as she led her towards a nearby bench. "Just sit."

Olivia did as Casey told her to do and she nodded. "Casey I-"

"Munch called and told me what happened yesterday…what Elliot said." Casey said bracing the subject nervously.

Olivia looked quickly at Casey. "He did?"

Casey nodded. "Yeah…I was going to call you last night but I thought that you might need to sort through it for yourself first."

Olivia took a deep breath. "There isn't anything to think about or talk about."

"Oh come Olivia…" Casey said rolling her eyes. "That's bullshit."

"Casey I'm engaged." Olivia said glaring at her friend. "Jake and I are getting married."

"Yeah. I know. I was there when he proposed." Casey said nodding. "I think Jake is a great…from what I've heard from you and others he's a real stand up guy. But…I also know that you've been in love with Elliot for years."

"Casey I've never said that to you." Olivia said shaking her head.

"You didn't have too." Casey said smiling. "It was written all over your face."

"I…" Olivia blushed. "Casey I don't know what you want me to say."

"Liv you're my friend and I care about you. We've been through a lot together…and I'd hate to see you make a mistake." Casey said shrugging.

"This isn't a mistake." Olivia said shaking her head. "I love Jake."

"I believe that. I really do." Casey said nodding her head. "But I also believe that you love Elliot…and I think you love him more than you love Jake."

Olivia let out a shaky breath. "This isn't fair…"

Casey nodded. "I know. I get why you're upset with Elliot…I do."

"I've wanted to hear him say that he loved me for thirteen years. But…I think I just gave up on him." Olivia said tearing up. "I just didn't think he liked me like that…and for thirteen years I've woken up everyday wanting to make sure he was happy. But now I need to do something for me."

"I want you to be happy…I want you to get married and have a family." Casey said nodding. "But…I want you to do it with the right guy."

"You sound just like Elliot." Olivia said shaking her head.

"Can you honestly tell me that when Elliot admitted his feelings to you, you didn't want to just kiss him and tell him you loved him too?" Casey asked.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Of course it crossed my mind but I wouldn't have done that. I wouldn't have cheated on Jake like that."

"So you're willing to move across country and marry him even though you're still in love with Elliot? Don't you think that will hurt him?" Casey asked.

"He doesn't know how I feel about Elliot." Olivia whispered.

"Maybe he isn't 100% sure but I'm sure he has thought about it before…you and Elliot are unusually close even for partners." Casey said honestly.

"We've worked together a long time." Olivia said shrugging. "That's it."

"Olivia stop…" Casey said shaking her head. "Stop lying to yourself. It's like I said I want you to be happy but I just think you are making a huge mistake."

"You just said that you think Jake is a great guy." Olivia said staring at her.

"I do think that. And he is…but that doesn't make him the right guy for you." Casey said.

Olivia was fuming now as she stood up. "I can't believe you."

"Liv please…" Casey said standing up quickly.

"I guess it's a good thing I'm leaving next week." Olivia said folding her arms across her chest.

"Next week? What are you talking about?" Casey asked feeling suddenly very confused.

"Jake and I are leaving next Friday for California." Olivia said. "I love him. I'm leaving no matter what you or anyone else thinks or wants."

"You're running because you're scared." Casey said.

"I'm not running and I'm not scared. Jake and I had already planned on moving to California…we're just changing the move date." Olivia said shrugging.

"What if Elliot came to you right now and said he wanted to marry you? What if he said he wanted to give you the house, the marriage, the kids? What if he promised you it all? Would you still run?" Casey asked.

Olivia swallowed hard. "There was a day when that's all I wanted Casey…but not anymore."

"Why not?" Casey asked. "You deserve to have the dream you've always wanted and now you finally can."

"Why because Elliot is ready to be a man now?" Olivia asked.

"You know Elliot…you know how complicated things were for him." Casey said.

"No. I know he's a stubborn asshole who used me." She said. "He used me to make himself happy…to help take care of his kids. He doesn't love me. He's just afraid that if I leave no one will be around to pick up after all his mistakes."

"Your relationship is more than that and you know it." Casey said pushing Olivia further.

"No. I don't know that." Olivia said looking towards the courtroom doors. "And I expected more than this from you."

"Olivia…" Casey whispered. "I'm not trying too-"

"We have a case to win. So can we put this behind us and get justice for our victim?" Olivia asked turning to glare at her.

Casey was quiet for a moment. "Okay."

Still angry, Olivia turned her back on Casey and walked to the courtroom. Casey sighed and knew that there was nothing she could say to make Olivia stay and see if she could have a future with Elliot.

Three days later, Olivia was on a war path at work and at home and Jake was beginning to wonder just what Elliot had said to his fiancé. One afternoon when she was at the store, Jake got in the car and drove to the precinct hoping to confront Elliot about what had happened.

When he walked into the office, Elliot looked shocked to see him. "Jake…"

Jake smiled at him. "Hello Elliot."

"Olivia isn't here if you're looking for her…" Elliot said standing up.

Jake nodded. "Yeah I know that. We were at my apartment packing when she said she had to go to the store."

Elliot nodded. "Oh. Alright. Well what can I do for you?"

Jake was quiet for a moment before he ran a hand over his tired face. "The thing is I love Olivia…and I want her to be happy."

Elliot fidgeted where he stood. "I know that."

"But the truth of the matter is…I'm not blind." Jake said laughing sadly. "I knew the first time I saw you two together that there was something between you."

Elliot sighed. "Jake I-"

"But for whatever reason…Olivia agreed to go on a date with me. And I've worked my ass off to try and prove to her that I care about her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her…and I should feel happy that she is ready and willing to move to California so soon for me." Jake said.

"Then what's the problem?" Elliot asked feeling annoyed by this conversation.

"The problem is I know that something happened between the two of you." Jake said.

Elliot shook his head. "It's not like that. Olivia didn't cheat on you if that's what you are worried about."

Jake nodded slowly. "I know she wouldn't do that to me. But something happened…something changed. She was terrified to move to California and now that's all she wants to do. She never talks about work or you anymore…she's fidgety and stressed out."

"She's just nervous about moving." Elliot said shaking his head. "She grew up here…this is all she knows."

"It's more than that. And if you are a real man you will be honest with me and tell me what happened…" Jake said.

Elliot was quiet for a moment, he shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down. "Okay you're right."

"Tell me what happened." Jake said. "I'll beg if I have too."

Elliot sighed and looked directly at him. "I told Olivia that I love her. I told her to pick me instead of you."

Jake was silent for a moment before lifting his arm back and punching Elliot in the face. Everyone seemed shocked that it had happened, even Jake. He pulled his hand back and stared wide-eyed at Elliot. "I'm so sorry."

Elliot groaned and put a hand to his nose, which was now bleeding. "No…no it's okay. I deserved that…"

Munch walked over to Elliot with tissues for the blood. "I'll get you some ice."

Elliot groaned when he pinched his nose to try and stop the blood. "Fuck…"

"Elliot seriously…I'm so sorry. I didn't think I would do that." Jake said.

"I would have done the same thing…" Elliot said. "I've thought about punching you a few times knowing you get to kiss Olivia."

"He gets to do more than kiss Olivia…" Munch mumbled as he handed Elliot a pack of ice.

"Not helping Munch." Elliot said through gritted teeth.

"Right. Sorry." Munch said as he walked back to his desk.

Jake sighed and sat down in Olivia's chair. "I knew there was something there…I thought maybe it was just you know built up sexual tension. But you're telling me you love her?"

Elliot who was still trying to stop the bleeding attempting to sit down at his desk to have this awkward conversation with Jake. "Yes. If you want me to be honest…than yes I do love her."

"You love her like a sister or as you know…someone you want to spend the rest of your life with?" Jake asked.

Elliot laughed. "Definitely more than a sister. Much more than a sister."

"You didn't answer the last part. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with her?" Jake asked.

Elliot was quiet for a moment. "If she wanted me…then yes I would spend the rest of my life with her."

Jake leaned back in his chair. "So that's why she wants to leave so soon?"

"Yes because the thought of being with me makes her sick." Elliot groaned.

"No. Because she's in love with you." Jake said. "And that terrifies her."

Elliot sighed. "No. She doesn't love me."

"Oh come on Elliot…" Jake said laughing. "Of course she does. I've known since she and I started dating."

"Then why did you date her?" Elliot asked.

"Because she's irresistible." Jake said smiling. "Because she is beautiful…she's perfect. I don't have to tell you that…"

Elliot nodded. "No. You don't."

"I know I don't know you that well…but from what Olivia has told me you've been divorced for awhile." Jake said.

Elliot nodded. "Four years. But it was over long before that…"

"It was over the minute you met Olivia." Jake said.

Elliot sighed. "Pretty much."

"Then why now?" Jake asked. "Do you hate me that much?"

Elliot laughed. "I don't hate you…I don't even know you. I'm jealous of you sure…but I don't hate you."

"Well then why did you wait until she found someone else? If you can't have her no one can?" Jake asked.

Elliot was quiet for a moment as he took away the ice from his face. "Olivia is my best friend…and I've got a lot of issues. A lot of issues…things I don't want to deal with. The truth of the matter is…I've always been afraid that if we became more than friends she would finally realize how screwed up I am and leave. If we're just friends…just partners there is a safety net between us…she doesn't see me all the way this way."

"I still don't…" Jake started.

"Olivia has just always been there…she's had my back since day one. I've never had to doubt her friendship or her loyalty as a partner. No matter what I've done in the past she forgives me and stands up for me when no one else will. I have taken her for granted for thirteen years…and it took you asking her to move across country for me to realize just how good I had it." Elliot said.

"So you freaked out knowing you were losing her and decided to ruin the relationship she has now?" Jake asked.

"I don't want to ruin anything for her…" Elliot sighed. "Her happiness means the world to me…and if she wants you then I'm going to have to let her go. But…"

"But what?" Jake asked leaning on Olivia's desk.

"But if there is a chance that she wants me…then I have to take it." Elliot said shrugging. "She's a lot to lose…"

"I know. That's why you know I can't just give up…" Jake said.

"And neither can I." Elliot said.

"You think because you've known her for thirteen years and I've only known her for ten months that you should get her?" Jake asked.

"No." Elliot said. "And she's not an object…we don't 'get' her. She needs to pick who she wants."

Jake nodded. "You know what I meant."

Elliot sighed and put the ice back to his face. "Jake I know you hate me right now…you have every right too. I'm sorry that I did this but you won…she picked you. She's moving to California with you so why do you care?"

Jake stared at him for a moment. "Because I love Olivia…but I don't think I can marry her and start a life with her if I know that she's in love with someone else."

"Jake…" Elliot whispered.

"Would you be able to do it? Kiss her…make love to her knowing she's thinking of another man?" Jake asked swallowing the lump in his throat.

Elliot looked down. "No."

"I didn't think so." Jake said leaning back in Olivia's chair.

"So what do you want from me?" Elliot asked. "What are you doing to do?"

Jake sighed. "I want to know that Olivia is sure about her decision."

"So you want me to talk to her?" Elliot asked. "Cuz she won't even look at me right now…I don't think she is going to talk to me."

"She might if I ask her to talk to you." Jake said.

"What are you going to say?" Elliot asked.

"I'm going to tell her I love her and I want to be with her…but I want her to be happy." Jake said. "I want her to decide who she wants to be with."

"She might get mad…" Elliot whispered. "You know how she gets."

Jake smiled. "I know. Trust me this isn't what I thought would happen after I proposed but I don't really think I have another choice now."

"Jake I didn't mean too hurt her like this…to complicate things." Elliot said.

Jake nodded and looked at Olivia's desk and at a picture of Olivia and her mother. "I know…but it's hard to not fall for her."

"Yeah. It is." Elliot said. "She's pretty amazing."

Jake stood up. "Look I'm sorry I hit you…"

Elliot stood up quickly. "Don't mention it. I'm surprised you didn't do more than just hit me…you have a lot more patience than me. You're a better man than me…that's why Olivia picked you."

"I'll…I'll talk to Olivia tonight." Jake said putting his hands in his pockets. "See if she'll meet with you."

Elliot nodded. "Okay."

Jake nodded slowly. "Okay…" He said as he walked away.

Elliot sighed and sat down on the edge of his desk as Munch walked over to him. "You okay?"

Elliot sighed. "I don't know."

"Maybe this is a good thing…maybe if she talks to you she'll decide to stay." Munch said shrugging.

"Do you honestly believe that?" Elliot asked looking over at him.

Munch sighed. "I don't know."

Elliot sighed. "She's going to California no matter what I say to her…no matter what Jake says to her."

Munch put his hand on Elliot's shoulder and squeezed it. "Time will only tell…" He said as he walked away leaving Elliot to his thoughts.

Back at Olivia's apartment, Jake walked in to find Olivia walking around the living room packing as she listened to her favorite Beatles Album.

She smiled when she saw him. "Hey! Where have you been?"

"Just had a few things to do…" He said smiling as he sat down on arm chair of the couch.

"Are you hungry?" She asked as she walked over to him and kissed him gently. "I can order pizza or something."

He shook his head. "No. I'm alright."

She nodded. "Okay. Maybe later." She said smiling as she walked back to the box she had been filling up.

"Hey Liv?" Jake asked softly. "Can we talk about something?"

She turned her head to look at him as she continued to pack. "Sure. What's up?"

Jake sighed and looked down at his hands that were resting on his knees. "I talked to Elliot today."

Olivia stopped what she was doing and turned to face him fully. "Elliot? Why?"

Jake stared at her for a moment. "Because he's your best friend…and you've been avoiding him."

"I have not." Olivia said crossing her arms over her chest. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Liv…he told me what he said. He told me that he told you he loves you." He said.

Olivia licked her lips as her heart began pounding hard in her chest. "He did?"

Jake nodded and stood up to walk over to her. "Yeah. How come you didn't tell me?"

Olivia kicked at nothing on the ground, she started to sweat. "Because it's not important."

Jake sighed. "Of course it's important."

Olivia glared at him. "I chose you Jake. I'm marrying you. So what's the problem?"

"The problem is I think you have some feelings for Elliot." He said putting his hands in his pockets. "No…I know you have feelings for Elliot."

"We've been partners for thirteen years. I care about him but I don't love him." She said looking down.

"I want to believe that Olivia but I don't." He said putting his hands on her shoulders as she looked up at him. "I'm not mad at you…you have a long history with him. It would make sense for you too love him…"

"I don't love him." She said trying to convince not only him but herself.

"Olivia…" Jake said softly. "You don't know how badly I want to marry you and have kids with you someday…but I can't do that if I think you also love Elliot. I'm not doubting the way you feel about me…I'm just doubting that you have no feelings for Elliot."

"So what are you saying?" Olivia asked feeling tears welling up in her eyes. "Are you breaking up with me?"

Jake shook his head. "No. I'm not breaking up with you. But…I'm asking you to take some time to really think things through."

"There is nothing to think about." Olivia pleaded. "Please Jake…don't do this."

"Olivia I love you and I want you to be happy." He said cupping her face in his hands. "And as much as it will hurt…I'm willing to let you go if you decide you want to be with Elliot."

"I don't." She said grabbing onto his waist. "I want you. I want us I-"

"Olivia slow down." He said smiling at her. "We could still have that…if that's what you decide. Take a few days…think about it. Talk to Elliot…"

"I don't want to talk to Elliot." She said shaking her head. "There's nothing left to say."

"Yes there is. You'll never forgive yourself if you walk away now…" He said. "Talk to him Olivia…he's your best friend."

Olivia was quiet for a moment before she fell into his arms and let the tears flow. "Jake I'm so sorry."

He swallowed hard and held her close, he rested his chin on her head. "It's okay Olivia…you didn't do anything wrong."

"I really do love you." She whispered into his ears. "You're everything I've ever wanted."

He pulled back and kissed her on the lips gently. "I know…but sometimes what we want isn't what we need."

Olivia watched as he walked towards the door to her apartment. "You're leaving?"

He put his hand on the door knob and turned to her. "Not forever…I just think we need a few days apart so that you can really think."

"Can I call you at least?" She asked. "I don't-"

He smiled. "Take a few days…You know where I am."

"Jake…" She whispered.

"I love you Olivia Benson. I love you more than anything in the world…but I need you to do this for me." He said closing her eyes. "Please…"

She swallowed hard. "I love you too."

He opened his eyes and smiled. "I'll see you in a couple of days Liv. Bye…"

When the door shut, Olivia stood on shaky legs for a few seconds before falling to her knees on the floor. She crumpled into a ball and let the tears fall…tears she had been holding in not just for days…but for years. Love was never supposed to be this hard…

So what did you thinkkkk? Let me know! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! Up next...will Olivia agree to meet Elliot?