Owen stood in Jack's office and called out to Tosh.
.
"Where's Jack?"
"He's out, weevilhunting I think."
.
Owen saw Jack's computer, apparently he'd forgotten to lock his station.
Ianto was supposed to be in the tourist information office.
This was going to be fun.
He opened Jack's messenger and started typing.
.
Captain-hardness : Ianto, are you there?
No reply
Captain-hardness : Ianto ?
It took a while before he got an answer but eventually Ianto did reply :
Mr. Jones : Yes sir?
Captain-hardness : I want to do you Ianto.
Mr. Jones : that's very inappropriate, Sir. If you need coffee you just need to ask.
Captain-hardness : No Ianto, I want to do you, first on the desk. Then in the shower. And a blowjob in my bunk would be nice.
Mr. Jones : I'm really sorry Sir, but I don't think that will be possible for the moment, or any other time for that matter.
Captain-hardness : Ianto you don't seem to understand. It's not open for discussion. I'm the boss around here. My office in 10 min. That's an order.
Mr. Jones : Sir, I know a bit about the law and this conversation alone could get you into terrible trouble.
Mr. Jones : Also, Jack, who is standing next to me at this very moment, wants me to inform you of two things.
Mr. Jones : One : you have a severe lack of imagination.
Mr. Jones : Two : if that report on yesterday's alien is not on his desk NOW. He'll do you in ways you don't want to experience.
(Captain-hardness has left the conversation.)
--
"Thanks for this Sir." Ianto said gratefully.
"I'll do you? If that's his pickup line, I'm surprised he gets laid at all." Jack seemed to find this very amusing.
"Do you have an pickup line Sir?"
"Me? No, talking is not my thing. I'm better at groping" Jack said, squeezing Ianto's butt.
"That's ..." But Jack interrupted him, while making his way towards the hub's secret door.
"Yeah yeah ... harassment, I know. Fill in the appropriate form and file it with the rest!"