I personally like this chapter. You'll see why in a few minutes.

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto. Now that I think about it, I don't own Monty Python and the Holy Grail, either...

The fight was raging on.

Gaara was in a state of panic: NOTHING he was doing worked on this guy! Bad enough he was getting blown up on every side, but the guy had the most annoying speech impediment in the freakin' world! He dodged yet another bomb, and tried to think. Suddenly it dawned on him...he'd have to use his last resort...

"Kankuro! Get me Plan B!"

Kankuro heard his younger brother shout, and nearly passed out when Gaara's words finally registered in his brain.

"NO! Plan B is too dangerous!"

"We have no choice! We have to use..." Gaara paused for dramatic effect.

"The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch."

"Okay," said Gaara lightheartedly, flipping to chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one in the Book of Armaments, "Ah, here we go...The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch: User's Manual."

"Gaara, Hurry up!"

"Patience is a virtue, Kankuro," Gaara muttered absentmindedly.

"Alrighty then...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade on high, saying, 'Oh Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereal, and fruitbats and large chu..."

"Gaara," screeched Kankuro, interrupting the prayer, "SKIP A BIT, WILL YA BRO?!"

Gaara looked at his brother blankly.

"...That's rather rude of you..." He dissmissed it.

"And the Lord spake, saying, 'First thou shalt take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three: no more, no less. Three is the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naught within my sight, shall snuff it.' Amen."

Gaara looked at the gaudily-decorated orb, then grabbed hold of the cross at the zenith of the Grenade.

"I can't believe I'm going to do this...ONE...TWO...FIVE!"

"THREE, GAARA!" Kankuro was peeved. "IT'S THREE!"

"Right, whatever...THREE!"

And with that, he pulled out the pin, and hurled it at the Akatsuki member before him. Choral music a la Handel's Messiah played fot the briefest of seconds, before the Grenade exploded magnificently.

"Is he dead," asked Kankuro, hiding behind an overturned crate. Gaara had absolutely no clue.

"Dude," Gaara said in amazement, staring at the sparks flying down from the heavens, "THAT KICKED ASS! LET'S DO IT AGAIN!!!"

Suddenly, Diedara flew out from the cloud of smoke and sparks. "Ha! Did you think that puny thing would stop me, un? YA GOT NOTHING ON ME, YA LITTLE BRAT, UN!"

Gaara raised a non-existant eyebrow. "I wouldn't look down, if I were you..."

Deidara, being the asstard he is, did exactly that and fell a hundred stories from the rooftops of Suna.

Sasori sighed. "Dammit...Itachi-sama, send in the medics..."

Tifa, Sephiroth, Cloud Strife, and Vincent ran toward the dead body, bags of phoenix down on their backs and potions in hand.

"NO!" Sephiroth got to the dead missing-nin first. "YOU AIN'T GONNA DIE ON ME! NOT TODAY!"

He and Cloud then proceeded to attemp CPR on the (very) dead Deidara. Vincent sighed.

"He's dead, not passed out, you ninnies."

"Use phoenix down," said Tifa, walking away. Cloud and Sephiroth looked on in amazement.

"Why didn't we think of that...?"

Deidara was revived (eventually), and the Save Gaara arc continued as it should. Gaara wasn't too thrilled about it.

Akatsuki was pleased, though.

I had the urge to include Monty Python somewhere, and this seemed like the right place to put it...

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