Becky moved into the Mercer house and lived with Evelyn and the four boys. In time the boys moved away. Bobby went off and joined a hockey team, Jerry got married and had two beautiful girls, Angel joined the marines, and Jack went on the road with his band.
The only brother that she saw or heard from was Jerry; otherwise it was just her and Evelyn. Since Bobby was the first to move out, she moved into his room, but she never got rid of any of his things. To her it was still his room; she just slept there.
Becky was twenty-four when Evelyn was killed, she was at home that night when she had gone to the store. The next thing she knew there was a knock at the door and two policemen were telling her the events of that evening.
Walking over to the cemetery with Jerry she saw Jack and Bobby walking towards them. She was glad to see them, but not because they come home for their mother funeral.
"Bobby, Jack. How you've been?" Jerry asked.
"Good, yourself?" Bobby said.
"I'm still going."
"How you doing Becky." Bobby said, Becky looked up at him and really looked at him for the first time in over five years, he looked good, older, but real good.
"I'm fine." She said letting him hug her, man it felt good to be held by him. Looking over his shoulder she saw Jack. "Hey Jack." She said letting go of Bobby, she felt cold leaving his arms, and went over to Jack.
"Hey." Was all he said.
The four of them went to join the group of people by the grave.
Leaving Jerry's house later that night, Jack got in the Volvo with Jerry, and Becky got into Bobby's car. They were heading home.
"I've been staying in your room, you can have it back, I'll sleep somewhere else." Becky said looking at Bobby.
"No, that's ok, I was going to stay in ma's room." He said looking at her before facing the road again. The rest of the ride home was silent. Pulling up in front of the house Becky didn't want to get out. She didn't feel like she belonged there, it wasn't her home or her family.
"Bobby." Becky said quickly. He turned to look at her. "I am not going in with you."
"Look I know that it must be hard for you, but it won't hurt once you go inside." Bobby said opening his door.
"No, I mean, I am not part of this family, you all should spend time together, with out me. I'll go stay at my friends house, I just need to get a few things." She said opening her door. About ready to step out into the cool night air, Bobby pulled her back in the car.
"Your family, and you are staying with us. We are all gonna stay in the house together, Ma would have wanted that." He got out of the car and grabbed his bag.
"So, shit, Bobby, what've you been up to?" Jack asked as they all got out of the cars.
"I'm a freaking college professor, Jack. What do you think I've been doing?"
"I doubt that." He said back.
"Same ol Bobby." Jerry said walking up to the front door.
"Y'all ain't right leaving me out here in the cold like this." A voice from the corner of the porch said. Not knowing who was there at first Becky grabbed onto Bobby's arm.
"Yo, little brother! You asshole! You ought to be ashamed!" Bobby said after Jerry turned the light on and they all saw Angel sitting there in the corner of the porch. Becky let go of his arm as he walked over to him.
"I missed my plane." Angel said standing up.
"You missed our mother's funeral too, jarhead." Bobby said hugging his little brother. He stepped aside and Jack went over to Angel.
"You shaved off your afro." Jack said with a laugh.
"Come here Jackie-poo." He said hugging his little brother.
"Did you get your teeth whitened?" He asked stepping to the side of Angel.
"Shut-up. Hey baby girl, how've you been?" He said to Becky. With out saying anything she walked over to Angel and gave him a hug.
"It's freezing out here." Jerry said opening the front door to the house. The four boys walked inside and froze. It didn't feel right for them to be home with out their Mother.
"I'm gonna get me something to eat. All y'all hungry?" Angel spoke up as he walked through the house.
"No, I'm gonna get some sleep. Jack, you take your old room, all right? Angel, take yours. I'm gonna sleep in Ma's room."
Bobby headed up stairs with his bag, Jack and Becky followed after a few minutes of standing in the living room.
Becky sat on the bed and let her mind wander. This was the first time in over five years; that all of the boys were in the house together. She was wondering what it would be like with everyone home again? Would they stay? Would they want her to stay?
The sound of Jack's guitar pulled her from her thoughts. She walked out of her room and went across the hall into his room. He was sitting on his bed, and Bobby was sitting on the floor; she walked in and sat on the floor next to him. All she wanted was for him to put his arm around her and pull her close to him, to let her know that things were going to still be all right; but she knew that he wouldn't, not with his brothers around. He couldn't show emotion, not now, not in front of them.
"Too weird in mom's room?" Jack was asking Bobby when she came in.
"Oh, man. Way too weird. It's crazy. I mean, everything's exactly the same. She didn't change nothing in this house." Bobby said lying his head back against the bed.
"Look at y'all." Jerry said standing in the doorway, giving a soft laugh.
"What?" Bobby said turning his head to look at him.
"Nothing. I'm just happy to see you, man. Happy to see my brothers, that's all."
"I'm happy to see you too Jerry." Bobby said turning his face to look at Becky, to show her that he was glad to see her too.
"I guess I'll stop by the grocery store and grab a turkey or something. Have Thanksgiving dinner. Let's at least act like we're a real family. Mom would like that." Jerry said putting his hat on. Just then Angel walked into the hall.
"Where do you think your going?" Jerry asked.
"It's a little heavy in there. I'm gonna just go outside and get me a little air." Angel said as he tried to walk passed everyone.
"You're full of shit, man. You can smell that ass from down the street, huh?" Bobby said laughing.
"What are you talking about?" Angel questioned.
"What do you mean, what? Come on, man. You know exactly what we're talking about with La Vida Loca."
"Ain't nobody going to get no La Vida Loca nothing." He said back.
"She got a boyfriend." Jerry chirped in.
"She got a boyfriend. She's screaming somebody else's name, and the last thing she's doing is thinking about your black ass. Leave it alone man." Bobby said over the laughter of Jack, Becky, and Jerry.
"I can't even believe y'all coming at me with this shit, man. I'm standing here telling y'all right now, I'm not going to see that girl, and I'm not." Angel took off down the stairs, slamming the door on his way out. The boys kept laughing at their brother, once the laughter died down there was a hush that fell over the room. Jerry said his goodbyes to his brothers and Becky before leaving.
Becky was the next one to get up; she went back to Bobby's room and laid down on the bed. For the first time since hearing about Evelyn's death she started to cry. The tears rushed out of her eyes streaming down her face. Nothing in her life or the boys lives seemed to work out, it always ended horrible. First with her mother leaving and then with her father, now Evelyn was gone. There was nothing that she could do, and there was nothing that she could of done to stop what had happened.
"Want some company?" Bobby said from the doorway. Becky was so deep in thought that she never heard him open the door, walk in and shut it behind him.
"I don't want to keep you from your brothers. Jack needs you more right now." She said putting her strong face on, hoping that with being gone for all those years he wouldn't be able to see though her, like he always seemed to be able to do.
"Jack's asleep, how you holding up?" Bobby didn't move, he stood in front of the closed door with his hands inside the pocket of his hooded sweatshirt.
"I'm doing fine." She said.
He took his hands out and walked over to Becky and stood in front of her.
"Why is it when I want to talk to you, you act all tough on me?"
"I'm not acting." She said standing up and moved to walk past him. Bobby put his arm out to stop her.
"You never act that way with the others."
He had her there; she didn't know what to say. There was nothing to say; she either said nothing, or the truth.
"I can't tell you how I feel."
"Why the hell not?" He asked.
"You'll think I'm weak."
"What's so bad about that?"
"I don't want to be weak, or vulnerable I have been that way with everything in my life, I don't want you to see that."
Bobby sat down on his old bed.
"I don't think you're weak, there's nothing wrong with showing your emotions Becky."
"You don't show emotion." She threw back at him.
"That was how I was made."
"So you can't be weak, and I can't be strong?" She said. "Fuck this." Becky got up and stormed out of the room. Bobby went after her; he left the room and saw Jack standing in the doorway of his room rubbing his eye.
"What's up with her?" He said. "You piss her off?"
"Shut up fairy, go back to bed." Bobby said going down the stairs.
"Fuck you." Jack said to himself before going back in his room.
Bobby stood in the kitchen looking out the window. Becky was standing out in the cold night with her arms wrapped around her body holding herself. He didn't know if he should go out there and talk to her, or just give her this time to herself. After a few minutes he pulled on his jacket and grabbed hers. Without saying anything he walked up next to her and held out her jacket silently asking her if she wanted it. Becky didn't move, she stood in the snow looking directly ahead. They just stood there together not saying anything.
Becky couldn't hold everything in any longer, she needed to let it all out, she started to scream. She screamed for being mad at her mother for leaving her when she was a little girl, for letting her father hit her all of those years, and for Evelyn being killed. The longer she screamed the weaker her body felt. She was becoming cold and tired; she let her body fall to the powder white snow that had fallen earlier that night.