Sorry for the delay, I was stuck halfway through hating this thing, and then I kept going until me and the story had a second honeymoon and I fell in love again. And yes, each chapter is slowly getting longer. Enjoy.

Gaz was sitting under the football stands; it was where she spent her free classes. The only other people who went there were the stoners and any paedophiles who decided to hang around the skool, and aside from one brave or stupid guy who thought she would make an easy target she was left alone. It was probably the fact she had dislocated his arm and left him bleeding in a puddle that had frightened off any other would-be sex offenders. She rubbed her eyes, there had been a fly in her room the night before, the stupid thing had kept her awake with its infernal buzzing.

"So what do you have for me?"

She turned like a flash, ready to lay into whatever creep had decided to 'get to know her' today. Stepping forwards from the shadows, she realised it was Zim, but something was different. His hair, it looked almost normal now, no longer a layer of dark stubble across his scalp. He obviously had not combed it though, it stuck out everywhere like a birds nest.

She lowered her readied fists and walked up to greet him, and then she stopped and looked up. Holy shit, Dib was actually right! Zim seemed to have grown nearly half a foot in one night; she barely reached his nose now, or whatever he called the middle of his face. "Uh, hey Zim. I've got the stuff right here," she pulled out the files she had stolen last night, with additional notes she had made on the various weaknesses and flaws of her brothers equipment. It was not just Dib who had learnt how to use their fathers inventions over the years.

He snatched them from her hand and gave them a cursory glance, he already had all the information they contained, but continuing this façade of cooperation may be useful, or at least good for a few laughs. "Thank you very much Gaz, these will prove most useful." He saluted, turned on his heel and marched off.

"Hey, wait up!" she hurried to catch up with him. They received strange looks from the small gang of potheads who would spend most of their school life under those stands; Gaz they knew to fear, but Zim was just the neurotic green guy, whatever he was doing down here it was not good.

"What is it, little Gaz?" Zim smirked, he had just realised the new height difference.

"Well, I was wondering if we could go see a movie or something before we go back to your place. Gut Buster III is coming out tonight."

"Gut Buster?"

"It's about an alien parasite that possess human bodies using them to kill other people, it eats them whilst it's controlling them so it has to switch all the time, and when it leaves the host body it explodes out through their stomach. Hence, 'gut buster'." She stopped and turned, Zim was standing behind her drooling with a glazed look in his eyes. She knew he would like the sound of this one. "I take it that means yes?"

He shook himself. "YES! YES WE SHALL THE GUT BUSTER TONIGHT!" Barely able to contain his excitement he shivered, practically dancing with delight. One of the stoners behind them pointed at him, causing a ripple of laughter to run through the group, Gaz flipped them off. Fuck those guys she thought, they would all pay soon enough.

"Okay, who told you this?"

"Steve, the guy in my biology class." Louie explained. "You know the one who always laughs when he sees a picture of a dick?"

"Stoner Steve? Jesus Lou, that guy couldn't tell you the day of the week never mind remember a conversation." Dib pushed his glasses up and rubbed his eyes, the late night planning was taking its toll on him.

"I'm just telling you what he told me bro, don't shoot the messenger." He took a sip of his suckmunky and coughed a globule of phlegm into his hand; those things kill more people than cigarettes. "So what's the plan?"

"What do you mean 'plan'?"

"I mean, what are we gonna do about Zim going out with your little sister?"

"They're not going out!"

"Dib!" yelled Mr Saunders, their grotesquely overweight English teacher. "What have I told you about screaming in class boy? Just because you're crazy does not make you exempt from the rules, you have to control your screaming just like everybody else!"

"Yes sir," Dig sighed. "Sorry sir." As soon as Saunders had waddled back over to the chalk board Dib turned back to Louie. "We're not going to do anything, Steve was talking shit or he heard a rumour and got confused, I don't know. What I do however know is that we all need to focus our energies on the mission, I want no fuck-ups, I want everyone to know exactly what they have to do and when they have to do it, no distractions this time."

"God damnit boy what did I tell you about screaming!" Saunders bellowed at him, crushing the stick of chalk in his meaty hand.

"But…I wasn't screaming…"

"You just earned yourself a time-out you sass-mouth, big-head little bastard! You come right here at the end of school or I swear I will find you and I will eat your fucking heart!"

The room was filled with a deathly silence; Saunders wiped the foam from his mouth and sat down. "Please take out your copies of Gone with the Wind, read quietly from page 307 and take notes as appropriate." He took a bite out of a muffin he had pulled from his pocket and slept soundly for the rest of the class.

"THAT WAS THE GREATEST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!" Zim was still shouting from inside the theatre, not yet adjusted to normal volume outside; there had been at least three separate complaints about him being too loud, Gaz had managed to silence every one of them with no bloodshed.

She smiled at him; she was smiling more and more these days. "I knew you'd like it."

"It was…did you see when…OH BY THE TALLEST IT WAS GOOOD!" He crouched down, trembling in sheer joy at the experience that was Gut Buster III, even his antenna were sticking up through his hair, but it was in such a state that no one seemed to notice.

Gaz sat down beside him. "Yeah it was good, I'm glad you liked it."

"Oh I did more than like it, THIS MOVIE IS MY LIFE! I must try to capture this gut buster creature myself, remind what was its home planets name again?"

"It's not a real alien you moron," she sniggered. "They made it up for the movie; you can't just go and catch one like a friggin' pokemon."

His antenna drooped. "Oh come on Zim, I'm sure there's something out there that'll eat people's guts for you, hell you could probably make it your-"

"AH HA!" Louie burst out from the bushes beside them, leaves still stuck in his hair from the two hours he had spent waiting for them to come outside.

"The fuck?" Gaz yelled.

"AGHHH!" Zim shrieked, scuttling behind Gaz. "It's after my delicious organs!"

"Shut up you Alien freak. Gaz," he held out his hand. "I'm here to take you home. Dib's in detention and I swear I won't tell him anything, but you need to stop this right now."

She glanced over her shoulder at Zim, eyes shut tight and trembling in fear of whatever monstrosity his mind had conjured up. She stood up and glared at Louie, only coming up to his chest. "And why would I want to do that?" She growled.

He blinked. "Because he's an unspeakable monstrosity from beyond! I mean, just please tell me you're joking?"

Gaz held his gaze; a line of sweat dripped down his forehead despite the coolness of the evening; behind her Zim had opened his eyes and was trying not to be noticed.

"You're not joking? So you're actually dating this…thing?"

She thought for a moment, dating Zim? She had never really had a boyfriend; they were just stupid cretins who would get in the way of her gaming and try to spend time with her. Then again Zim wasn't like the others.

"Yeah actually," she growled, desperately trying to hold back a smirk. "Zim's my boyfriend now." She grabbed the alien by his arm and dragged him out from behind her with a yelp before lacing her fingers between his gloved claws. "And I'm not gonna dump him because some arrogant shithead is jealous that I chose the sexy green guy over his spray tanned ass. Is that a problem?"

Louie could not even think of a response, he simply made a face of disgust and fled across the street trying to contact Dib.

For his part Zim's mind was feverishly trying to work out some sort of stratagem for escape. The Gaz-human had just claimed him as her own! He had heard about such relationships, human media portrayed them as some sort of ideal for people of his supposed age group, but from what he had heard in the skool it was more like some form of slavery. The male would spend the entire courtship trying to win the females approval with gifts in the hope of taking her as his mate. Neither spending his moneys on gifts nor mating, assuming he ever could, and creating some monstrous hybrid with this stupid ape was a priority to him. He was snapped from his thoughts as Gaz gave a sharp tug on his arm.

"Come on you stupid space bug!" she yelled at him, pointing to where Louie had ran off to. "He's gonna get away, he's gonna tell Dib!" She smacked him once in the shoulder just to get him on the ball.

"AGHHH! DIB! ZIM IS NO BOYFRIEND!" He sprinted after the filthy blonde-beast, Gaz following him into the darkening streets.

Louie crouched down beside an overflowing dumpster to catch his breath. He had run track for his old school, but all the time spent eating junk food in front of a computer monitor with Dib had not done anything to help him. He peaked around it; a cab drove past the alleyway but otherwise the street outside seemed to be deserted. He tapped at his video watch again. Dib was still disconnected, when he reactivated it he would be treated to about twenty garbled messages about mind-control, abduction and alien-human hybrids, along with one where he explained that he did not use spray tan.

He was just about to make a move when he heard it. Footsteps heading towards him. Oh shit.

Louie peaked around the corner again. There, standing at the entrance of the alley and silhouetted by the street lamps, it could only be Gaz. Somehow she had gotten hold of a crowbar.

He was tensing now; hoping to make a break for it, the chain link fence at the other end of the alley seemed to be small enough that he could climb it before Gaz reached him; but then another noise, a metallic clicking directly above him. There was Zim, standing on the roof of the building just opposite. If Gaz was scary then this image of Zim was something out of his worst nightmares, fully extended on the legs from his PAK, the moon shining directly behind him. It was like the first time he had watched War of the Worlds, seeing the tripods. He hadn't slept for days afterwards.

Zim sniffed the air, like a bloodhound tracking its quarry. He moved over to his left until he was standing directly above him, Gaz was watching him from the street. He sniffed again and licked his lips, smirking a little. Not a bloodhound, this was more like a wolf, hunting for the pure pleasure of it. He had made up his mind, now or never. Louie counted to five and ran.

He had barely gone five feet before Zim had pounced down in front of him, blocking his way to the fence. His contacts were out, his eyes the colour of blood.

"Going somewhere?"

Louie choked back a cry of terror, turning and falling into a puddle. His struggling splashed some of the filthy water into Zims eyes and he recoiled in pain.

"Stay away from me you fucking monster!" he shrieked, scrambling back to his feet and sprinting towards the exit.

Unfortunately, he had forgotten about a certain violet haired, amber eyed person. The dull thud of metal on bone filled the alleyway as Gaz struck him hard in the face, knocking him onto his back.

He saw them both standing over him as he lapsed into unconsciousness.

"GIR, bring the Voot out to my coordinates," a voice said, strangely echoing. "We're going to have a guest tonight."

Tracking down the blond-beast had been the most fun Zim had had in years. He had decided long ago that conquering the earth could not be done in one fell swoop as he had always planned, especially once he had realised that there was so much more to the horrible little dirt ball than the city he had made his home in. Communications were intercepted and scrambled, generals issued commands that they had never even thought of, and Zim had enjoyed a very profitable weekend once he had learnt what "Wall Street" really was. But todays hunt was something else; it had taken him back to his training days. Invaders were expected to be capable of operating in any environment, so naturally training assignments were often arranged off Devastis. Sometimes, their instructors would allow them to hunt native inhabitants as a reward for a successful assignment.

Now however his mind was preoccupied with the stupid cow-monster that was sitting beside him. Gaz had insisted on taking part in Louie's interrogation, threatening to tear his arm off if he refused; now she was playing some idiotic human video game on his computer whilst they waited for him to regain consciousness.

Stupid human. Gaz was definitely attractive by the human standards of beauty, after some research into the subject Zim had found that girls of her particular build and facial structure were seen as highly desirable. Not that he particularly cared about such things. The sex instinct had been wiped out of the Irken mind millennia ago on the instructions of the Control Brains. The greatest military in the history of known Universe could not be distracted by such things as "making babies". Then again, there was no record of any successful attempt to cross the DNA of an Irken with any other species, especially not one capable of reproduction.

"Hey idiot," Gaz snapped at him. "Your computer says Lou's awake now, are we gonna question him or not?"

"Hmm?" Zim shook himself back to reality. "Of course we are filthy pork-beast, TO THE INTERROGATION ROOM!"

He watched her on the video link; it was like a poem of violence. Louie was suspended in the centre of the windowless room whilst Gaz worked the controls. Physical pain was all well and good for information extraction, and arms could extend from the wall at the push of a button to stab, slash, burn, pull, pry and electrocute; but those methods were just too primitive. Psychological torture however, that was a limitless source of pain for someone with sadistic sensibilities, and Gaz was most definitely that sort of person. He screamed and moaned, wept and raged in equal measure, she seemed to especially enjoy it when she discovered his attraction to her. Within seconds Gaz had created for Louie a perfect world, with her as his loving wife, and then just as quickly destroyed it all; Zim almost wished he could see the twisted despair as Louie was witnessing it, his name was mentioned a few times in between incomprehensible screams. Irken art was primarily victorious, patriotic imagery mass created by computer, all of it expressing loyalty to the Tallest and the empire, disdain for other races, love of conquest and such; however there was still room for abstract, more personal art. The state this violet haired human had reduced the greasy blond monkey too was worthy of pride of place in the greatest galleries of the empire in Zim's own opinion. It was beautiful.

Gaz was smiling when she left; Louie's ragged sobs echoed behind her. "That was more fun Brain Munchers 3." She admitted.

For once, Zim was at a loss for words. He was looking at Gaz in a whole different light now. Not just another filthy piece of bacteria festering in this backwater mud ball of a planet, but something much, much more. "That was amazing." he whispered.

She blushed softly; a compliment from Zim was a hard thing to come by. "Thanks," she replied before tentatively kissing him on the cheek. "It's your turn now, he's actually pretty damn terrified of you already, so it should be even easier." Zim merely nodded before walking off in a daze. Maybe this boyfriend thing was not such a bad idea.

"Computer!" Gaz shouted. "Show me PAK memory banks." Zim was busy with Louie now, she could see how much fun they were having on the screen to her right, hopefully he would not kill him though, she wanted all of them to be there when Dib attacked.

"Right away ma'am!" the computer piped up, not even questioning the request to have access to the master's most private memories. Good, she thought, the base already knew to respect her.

A timeline sprang up on screen; every moment of Zim's life was now available to her, it was even labelled with the key moments. The computer clearly did not want to annoy someone the master was in complete awe of. Gaz was curious. She knew Zim had been spying on her brother for years now, and that of course meant he had seen plenty of her life as well, now maybe she could answer a few of the questions she had about him.

She watched as much as she could. Zim's birth brought a smile to her face as he hugged the mechanical arm that had brought him to life, and his antics whilst growing-up underneath the surface of his home world were amusing to say the least. Her favourite part however was his military training; shortly after the death of Tallest Miyuki after the "Vortian Betrayal" (as Zim's Infinite Energy Absorbing Blob had been seen as a Vortian plot) he had been selected to have his PAK rewritten for military service, the logic being that someone so skilled at destruction would surely excel as a soldier. And excel he did, perhaps not when working in a team, Zim's instinct for self-preservation gave him the tendency to willingly sacrifice his comrades in the simulator, but when working alone he shone. The years as a military scientist on Vort had given him an unparalleled ingenuity with improvised weapons, and his sadistic streak was seen as an admirable quality for an Elite. Zim's test to become a fully-fledged Invader had been typical; to land on a primitive planet, of no strategic interest to the empire and cause as mayhem and destruction as possible whilst receiving no aid whatsoever. By the time he was allowed to return back to Irk, over two-thirds of the planets inhabitants had been wiped out by a virus of his own creation, and it was still going strong. Gaz was impressed, if a little confused as to how the Irkens destructive capabilities had failed him so far.

A door whooshed open behind her, the computer blinked back to her video game without an instruction. Zim was beaming at her. "I do believe I have triumphed over little Gaz in my interrogation skills, not only did the mighty Zim gather all information on their pathetic earth monkey plan, but he did so with his own two hands. PRAISE ME!"

"You know the plan is gonna change now, right?"

His antenna pricked up. "What do you mean?"

She sighed and rubbed her eyes, it was really late, and despite everything Zim was still really annoying at times. "I mean that once Dib realises that Lou is gone he's going to assume the worst, which is you kidnapping him. And then he's going to come in here tomorrow all gung-ho for an assault you haven't even begun to prepare for."

Zim growled in the back of his throat. "Well then what does my Gaz suggest Zim do now?"

Gaz smiled at the "my" part, it was just too stupidly sweet to ignore. "Your Gaz suggests that you let Louie go tonight. He'll run off to Dib and say you kidnapped me, which he won't believe because I'll have been in my room since I got home from school. Then the mighty Zim can spend the next few days preparing himself for the fun we're both going to have when those dweebs finally show up."

Zim thought for a moment. "Sounds like a plan."

Just a few things, I make this up as I go along so sorry for plotholes and such, I may fix them up some day. Also, Sadism is awesome and Zim and Gaz were obvious sadists from the start. They're not really bad guys, Zim doesn't care about conquest that much anymore and fro Gaz to be a villain then Dib would have to be a hero, which he obviously isn't as he's an idiot with a giant head. They just do stuff which you mortals regard as morally wrong. Still make a cute couple though :3