Disclaimer: I wish I did own Inuyasha but sadly I don't. I don't own 'How Do I Breathe' by Mario
Crowded's Sequel: Making Amends
'Thinking'
"Talking"
Flashback
'Inuyasha's demon side'
Summary: It has been three years since Kagome has returned to her time after completing the jewel and leaving her 'family' behind. Now it is her twenty-first birthday and she just completed college. She goes to a party that may result in her facing her past and returning there.
Chapter 3: How Do I Breathe
Inuyasha P.O.V.
How do I breathe, yeah?
How do I breathe, yeah?
I am sitting in the middle of an old battle field wishing I was with the dead who lay at me feet. I know I sound pathetic but that is how I felt at this very moment. I felt dead. My heart and part of my soul left me three years ago. I was stupid enough to let her leave. Now look at me, a dirty, filthy, pathetic excuse for a human. I have search far and wide for someone to end my misery. I even went to Sesshoumaru. I could have sworn that he was going to laugh at me. Sango, Miroku, Shippo, and even Kaede tried to save me from my turmoil but I ignored them. Now I have nowhere to go but to search the countryside and try to trick someone into my undoing.
It feels so different being here,
I was so used to be next to you,
Life for me is not the same,
There's no one to turn to.
I wanted to roar to the sky. If I was still a hanyou I probably would. I tried to shake it off but it seemed that I just kept pushing myself into more despair. When I tried to confine in Kikyou, she just pushed me aside and kept moving. I stayed at Kaede's for a while but everything around me reminded me of Kagome. Her scent had still lingered in the hut. I was driving me insane. To make matters worse for me Shippo kept whinnying about his mother.
I don't know why I let it go too far,
Starting over - it's so hard.
Seems like everywhere I try to go,
I keep thinking of you.
Walking I thought about all the times that we had argued. It was always about Kikyou. Why didn't I notice that before she left? Why didn't I notice that she was saving me from my own downfall? She opens the door that lead to the light. And I slammed it in her face because it was too bright and I was scared. I pushed her away because I was scared. I destroyed her heart that she had laid in my hands 'cause of fear.
I just had a wake up call,
Wishing that I never let you fall,
Baby you are not to blame at all.
Remember when I pushed you away.
If I had told her what I had felt for her. Told her my actual feeling, would she have left. A tear slipped past my closed lids. I had really fucked up.
Baby if you knew I cared,
You'd have never went nowhere (nowhere),
Girl I should've been right there.
I continued to walk. There was a village nearby. Lucky me if I wanted to leave this place it would be on the night of the new moon. Maybe I could get someone to ram me in with a pitch fork if I told them I was a hanyou and tonight was my human night, they would believe me. I didn't want to be here anymore without her.
How do I breathe
Without you here by my side?
How will I see
When your love brought me to the light?
Where do I go
When your heart's where I lay my head?
When you're not with me,
How do I breathe?
How do I breathe?
As the village neared I could remember every little detail of the first new moon I spent with Kagome. It was fighting the spider-head demon. We got trapped in a room at the village shrine with Tetseiga's sheath jammed into the door. She was comforting me because I was poisoned. I had slipped and told her that she had smelled nice. I could still smell her scent. Laughing I thought back on another event that I had slipped up on, when she had just met Sesshoumaru. Oh wow that was rich, when we were fighting and she was able to pull out Tetseiga and we weren't. It was also the first time the sword had transformed for me. I had told her to shut up so I could protect her. My heart skipped a beat as I remember her words about me being a hypocrite. Guess she was right. Now I know I have gone insane because I am finding this all funny.
Girl I'm losin' my mind.
Yes I made a mistake.
I thought that you would be mine.
Guess the joke was on me.
Tears were spilling everywhere by the time the sun had set. I had no reason to sleep because all my dreams where about the young miko from the future. The future… She took me there so many times. I have met her family and friends. I became her otouto's idol. Guess I am not anymore. I wouldn't be surprise if he wished me dead by now. Knowing her friends they would have set her up with some guy. I growled at that thought. I just hope that if they did succeed in that she was happy.
I wish I knew where you could be.
Another dude is replacing me,
God this can't be happening.
My body stiffen when I seen Kikyou's soul collectors. I knew she was beckoning me to her and I wasn't sure I should go. I have a bad feeling about this and that feeling is starting to itch at me at the moment. I look down at Kagome and she just gives me a confuse look then point off in the direction in which Kikyou was. I just stared at her knowing that couldn't be a good sign. She was up to something and I was about to fall directly in it. I stood and jumped off in the opposite direction away from everyone.
"FUCK!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. It startled the animals as they ran away from me. I shouldn't have gone to that dead bitch. I knew something was up. She played me like Kagome had said she did. I was a fool.
I just had a wake up call (call),
Wishing that I never let you fall (fall),
Baby you are not to blame at all.
When I was the one that pushed you away
Baby if you knew I cared (cared),
You'd have never went nowhere (nowhere),
Girl I should've been right there.
Kagome had been fed up with me like Shippo said. Shippo the little kitsune, whom mother I ran away. What kind of guy runs a child's mother away? I know, the kind that doesn't give a fuck about anyone else. I couldn't even protect someone as innocent as a small kit, which before this happen, had looked up to me as a father. I don't know why he didn't even try to seek revenge. Instead he had comforted me. ME! I truly felt lower than low.
(And I wonder...)
How do I breathe
Without you here by my side?
How will I see
When your love brought me to the light?
My heart truly broke when that little kit ran away. Next, also fed up with me, Sango and Miroku left too. It was like I was I curse and she the cure. Kaede still welcomed me but I felt like a burden on here when everyone else had left. When I finally left I cried 'til I could barely breathe. I didn't go far though. I went to the well and stood there for a while. I had pulled out the jewel and wished myself human.
"Inuyasha ye know that ye are always welcome to stay if ye like." Kaede said.
I looked down at the floor and shook my head. "I cannot burden you with my presence here."
"Ye are no burden Inuyasha."
"Of course I'm not." I said looking towards that door. "But I feel like a burden and I don't want too so I'm going to leave. Goodbye Kaede." I walked out the door. That was also the first and last time that I didn't insult the old miko.
I walked until I got to the well. I just stood there wishing she would come back and say this was just a horrible joke. But I knew that this was no joke. No one played this type of joke on someone.
Where do I go
When your heart's where I lay my head?
When you're not with me (I'm saying),
How do I breathe?
How do I breathe?
I took the jewel from my hoari and just looked at it. It wasn't tainted by my demonic blood which surprised me. Tightening my fist around it I wished I was human. As I was wishing, tears splashed down onto it. I could hear my demon side.
'You damn half-breed. What the fuck are you doing? Why the hell are you getting rid of me? With me you could...'
He didn't get to finish because the jewel had destroyed it. When I looked around everything seemed dulled. I grabbed Tetseiga and tossed it down the well. I felt both pulse on contact but ignored it.
I can't get over you no (No)
Baby I don't want to let go
Girl you need to come home
Back to me
Cause girl you made it hard to breathe
When your not with me
I had turned off the light. Now I was closing the door. There was no way I would be able to see her again. There was no way for her to see me again. I am signing my life over to death as soon as I find a way. My first start is Sesshoumaru. I head toward the West hoping that he would do me this favor.
(Tell me)
How do I breathe
Without you here by my side?
How will I see
When your love brought me to the light?
Where do I go (where, oh, where)
When your heart's where I lay my head?
When you're not with me,
How do I breathe?
Now I wanted to laugh at that memory. Why the hell I thought going to aniki was the best idea? See there is proof that I am going insane. Since when have I ever referred Sesshoumaru as big brother? Never. Maybe Hell did freeze over and I am actually dead. I entered the village to see only see a few drunken men and a few whores. Oh this should be easy. I could piss off one of them that have a sword on his waist.
How do I breathe?
[Some speaking starts
Without you here by my side?
How will I see (how will I see)
When your love brought me to the light (baby, baby)?
I walk up to one of them and punch them in the face. He staggers back a little before looking at me.
"You got nerve punk." He then charges me. I don't move. Just as he was about to pull out his sword an arrow flies in between us.
We look over and there standing with another arrow to be let loose, stood my greatest fear and hope.
Where do I go (where do)
When your heart's where I lay my head?
When you're not with me (you're not with me),
How do I breathe (how do I breathe)?
How do I breathe?
"Kagome…"
A.N. Done with this for the time being. I had to give you this insert so no one tries to server my head because Inuyasha died. Remember over five-hundred years has already passed after Sesshoumaru told Kagome that Inuyasha is dead. No crying please I have a soft spot for people who cry. Sesshy is mine but you could borrow him sometimes.
foxtale3
unistar
Palmerdreams