Fandom: Twilight
Characters: Leah Clearwater, Sam Uley with appearances by various other recognizable characters.
Rating: ~A~ for angsty as heck.
Status: Short Story, POST BREAKING DAWN
Author's Notes: I wrote the story with a specific playlist in mind. All the songs for each part are at the bottom.
Summary: The wolf pack is now united again after Jacob takes his place as the rightful Alpha. This mean Leah is once again mentally connected to her ex Sam. To make matters worse, his wedding to Emily is just days away. The buzz of the wedding is everywhere and Leah can't escape her feelings. She desperately loves Sam no matter how happy she wants him to be. It should be her standing at the altar but there's nothing she can do. Slowly Leah's facade dissolves leaving her with open wounds she must learn to live with alone.. or not.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Stephenie Meyer's wonderful creation. This is simply written out of admiration for her characters.
Part Three; Let Me Breathe
I poised myself and made my way out to give my toast. Everyone went quiet as I took a seat at the table without giving attention to the wary faces staring at me. Eventually a regular murmur rose over the crowd as everyone waited for the toasts to begin. One by one those expected to speak did so and a chorus of 'cheers' in our native tongue followed. There was no running away now, because all eyes looked expectantly at me. Sam shifted his gaze elsewhere trying not to think of all of the horrible things I could say. The ache now, felt like a punch, being aware once more of the anguish I caused him. Emily kept her face even when I stood to give my toast. I felt eyes boring holes into my body but I kept my ground and lifted my glass to eye level.
"We all know why we're here. The Bridal feast is the last major celebration before a couple is united in marriage. Our ancestors take great pride in the bond of the ceremony and I can say that notion has not been lost with time." People listened cautiously, wondering what the spurned lover could offer in terms of marital advice. "Emily, my cousin. My blood. In two days you become Emily Uley. You no longer share a family name but you connect our blood with that of another. In days time you start your life with Sam Uley." Sam met my eyes now. He couldn't know that every word I spoke was the truth and how badly it ached to say out loud. We'd relied on the silent communication of our thoughts for so long, never reacting. I rose my glass high above my head and everyone followed my lead. "May Emily live a long and healthy time so she may experience the full extent of the love she has found. May both live in the happiness they've so readably provided one another. To Sam and Emily." Everyone stood and the chorus of cheers sang out. I placed my glass on the table while others tapped their glasses with each other. I turned to face Emily embracing her before I could give much thought to what this meant. Sam stared at the two of us a look of relief washing over him. I stood on my tiptoe and embraced him as well the shock of being so close to him knocking both of us from the hug quickly. The entire pack descended then; now the ceremony was complete. Emily was one of us now. She and Sam were getting married whether I wanted to say something about it or not.
Jacob smiled appreciatively at me. I half-smiled half-grimaced and his smile grew with humor. Everyone swarmed the couple now and I pulled away from the crowd willing myself away from there as soon as possible. I headed for the woods looking for some time to right myself while the party quieted down for the evening. As I went I unzipped the back of my flower dress getting halfway down the zipper track when a hand jostled my progress gripping for my shoulders. The touch of the person's skin was ice cold and I twitched repulsively away from the grip crouching in a defensive position ready to phase. Before I could, the figure spoke and I instantly recognized the voice. Edward Cullen. He was getting brave.
"Sorry Leah. I did not mean to startle you." He apologized with a sincerity that turned my insides upside down with distaste. Thanks to the new treaty, the Cullens were allowed in La Push just not for hunting purposes. The whole thing was a stupid little stipulation on Jacob's behalf. It was the price of his imprinting on a half vampire half human hybrid. If imprinting had a gut I would kick it right now. "What do you want bloodsucker?" I thought.
Edward never recoiled from all the nasty things I continued thinking. It's not as if my opinion changed much of the vampires since we allied with them. The others trusted them completely but I'd always have my guard up. We may be able to turn into wolves but I was no one's pet. I wouldn't be their lap dog.
At that thought Edward chuckled once so low I barely registered it as amusement. I scoffed and asked again what he wanted putting a few steps between us to allow for some breathing room against his scent.
"I'm here to drop this off for Sam and his fiancé." Edward answered presenting a perfectly wrapped gift he'd been holding behind his back. "My family and I will not be in town for the wedding. You'll make sure the couple gets this?"
I'm sure I wasn't the first person he would have asked to deliver the gift but Edward wouldn't stay on La Push territory for long. I reluctantly accepted the gift from the hand extended in my direction.
"Sure."
With the Cullens out of town what would Jacob do with his free time away from the little maggot? Surely he'd sulk around the rez waiting for the center of his universe to return.
"Actually, Jacob will be joining us after the ceremony." The bloodsucker responded to the question in my head. I scowled at his intrusion but figured it was an obvious assumption that Jake would accompany them. None of the other guys were away longer than a few hours from their significant other without any major need.
"Please do give the couple our regard. We do apologize for not being able to attend but you understand the circumstances." Edward went on. The guy was always so diplomatic. It made me want to vomit. He eyed me curiously. I stood holding the zipper of my dress forgetting what I'd headed into the forest for in the first place. Noticing my state of undress I blushed with fury and embarrassment but Edward slyly avoided his gaze allowing me a second to get my self together.
I nodded once shaking the gift in understanding. He returned the nod and said a quick goodbye before turning back and running into the woods heading for home. His presence only intensified my already grouchy mood. Was I meant to be a perpetually grumpy person? Seemed that way to me. I pouted my lips and fell back into a rhythm heading into the forest. Maybe it was childish to act this way but there were so many human emotions clouding my judgment. I just wanted to be a wolf and run. Run far. I was good at that. Keeping my senses alert I made sure I was alone this time before undressing. I stepped out of the dress standing naked in the middle of the dark forest. I covered the gift with my dress and hid it under the cover of some brush. My mother might be wondering where I was but then again her daughter was a shape shifter she knew I could take care of myself.
Violent currents flowed through every inch of my body allowing the phase. Arms stretched into paws hitting the damp earth. My back bent so I stood on all four paws with the last of the currents taking over. The damp earth sent a sharp scent into my nose and I inhaled deeper enjoying the smell. A rat, somewhere in the brush, scuttled away at the noise of my paws hitting the ground. Then I heard the rumble from inside my stomach. "Man was I hungry". I hated eating raw though. As much as Jacob tried to help me let the animal in me take over, my animal side still refused to enjoy the success of a good hunt. My hunger could wait. I told myself. Run first, eat later. And then I took off running, more like sprinting towards somewhere I wasn't aware of yet. The wind glided over my fur at full speed. My eyes remained focus even through the sting of the sharp wind.
Wolves mated for life. A life I thought I'd found before I even knew I was able to be a wolf. Ever since, everything I'd ever known had shifted into the unknown. My heart broke and I was alone still with voices in my head when I wasn't human. It would be easier if I'd imprinted. Quil, Jared, Paul, Jacob, and –I hesitated on the next name; Sam looked happier that way. Embry never complained about not having imprinted either but he was having too much fun with the perks of being a shape shifter to notice. Seth and the others were still young so it didn't matter to them much. It mattered to me though. It mattered a lot. I never was the resentful type before this life took over. Now even with a pack I was lonely Leah, the only female in the gene pool who could do what the guys could do. I would much rather go back to the days before all of this. That life I missed. Life before Emily showed up. No wonder the guys hated to be around me. I was a self-pitying mess.
***
Let Me Breathe – The Hours
Don't Leave – Faithless
I Don't Know What to Do – Pete Yorn and Scarlett Johansson
Ashes & Wine – A Fine Frenzy