Six short days had passed since the Hylian attacks. Ganondorf spent the week stocking up on arrows, bombs, and potions for his army as well as training Link. Before the invasion started at midnight, Ganondorf called Link to the laboratory.
"Everything we're about to give you is fresh from R&D." Ganondorf told Link, "First, try on this mask."
Link put on the mask and felt a surge of pain course through his body.
"That is the suffering of a true warrior." Ganondorf told Link, "It will make you stronger."
Link looked at his hands after the painful transformation was complete. He then pulled out one of his hairs, which confirmed his suspicions.
"You're now a full-blooded Gerudo." Ganondorf told Link, "Any Hylian weaknesses are now replaced by Gerudo strengths. Now, try on your new armor."
Link obeyed and was surprised by how light it was.
"That's the new iron knuckle armor." Ganondorf explained, "It protects better, it's lighter, and it doesn't interfere with movement as much."
Link grabbed his new sword and shield.
"Those are also lighter and stronger." Ganondorf explained, "The sword now hacks, cuts, and stabs better. The shield can take far more abuse now."
"Thank you." Link told Ganondorf, "I've rarely received such help when I was busy saving the world."
"You've more than earned it." Ganondorf told him, "Now, let's assault the castle and capture you a princess."
Link followed Ganondorf outside to the waiting army. At midnight, everyone mounted their horses and set off. A half-hour later, they reached the castle. Everyone was disturbed by how quiet everything seemed. It was too quiet. Even the draw bridge was down.
"First group, guard the entrance." Ganondorf ordered, "Second group, follow me."
Link, Ganondorf, and the second group rode into town. They climbed off their horses and searched every house door to door. Other than the occasional armed resident, they faced no opposition.
"Something's definitely not right." Ganondorf thought out loud, "Where are the guards?"
With the town secured, they began their assault on the castle. Again, they got off their horses and busted down doors. Immediately, they were greeted by a hail of arrows.
"I was afraid you guys had left town." Ganondorf chuckled as his forces crushed the Hylians. Before long, the demoralized Hylians surrendered without inflicting a single Gerudo casualty.
"That was just sad." Ganondorf told them, "Where is the king?"
"He left with the army and guards." one of them answered, "We're just the servants. After his forces were humiliated in the desert, he decided to combine forces with the Kokiris."
"That's a disappointment."
"What are you going to do to us?" a maid asked.
"I haven't decided yet." Ganondorf answered, "There are so many uses for cannon fodder like you. First, where is Zelda?"
"She's up in her room." a cook told him, "The king told her he could always produce another heir."
Ganondorf smiled. For a moment, he was afraid Link wouldn't get another present today.
"Find the princess." Ganondorf told two of his soldiers, "Bring her to me. I have a present for her."
The two soldiers followed the cook as he led them to Zelda's room. Twenty minutes later, they dragged her down to Ganondorf.
"What do you want?" she spat.
"Why, a present for Link, of course."
Ganondorf pulled a wolf mask out of a sack he carried on his back and forced it onto her face. Zelda shrieked as it felt like her entire body was being frozen, burned, pulled, crushed, stabbed, cut, and flayed at the same time. Seconds later, the transformation was complete.
Zelda collapsed to the floor, shaking. Her world was falling apart. Her father had abandoned her, her home was taken by the enemy, her body was transformed into a beast, and her fate was uncertain to her. She barely noticed an iron knuckle approach her.
"Happy birthday, Link." Ganondorf said, "That armor, that transformation, this battle, and this princess were all for you."
"I… I don't know what to say, dad." Link said, trying desperately to hold back his tears, "This is the best day of my life."
"Link, is that you?" Zelda asked, not sure how her new wolf muzzle was letting her talk.
"Yes, it's me." he said as he removed his helmet. Zelda had no doubts now. Gerudo or not, this was Link.
"What are you doing fighting for Ganondorf?" Zelda asked him.
"I learned a week ago that he's my dad." Link explained, "He's teaching me how to be an oppressive dictator, a ruthless conqueror, and how to do the secret family handshake he came up with. It's awesome."
"What are you going to do to me?" Zelda asked Ganondorf.
"Your fate is up to Link." Ganondorf explained, "You're his wolf-slave now. Anything he wants you to do, you'll do. If he wants doggy-style, he'll get doggy-style."
"You want to fuck like the animal you are?" Link asked her.
"I'm not sure if it's the new animal hormones…" Zelda explained, "or the fact that I always liked you, but yes. Come to my room and take away my virginity."
Ganondorf watched the pair leave with pride before he started barking orders.
"You three, find a location suitable for a private fishing pond. You four, start work on the golf course. You and your division will tell first group to turn the town into a makeshift fortress. The rest of you, this castle is too white and boring. Make it all dark and awesome. Put skeletons in the right places, add some sinister spires, and build a roller coaster, maybe a teacup ride, and a sock puppet theatre if you have time."
The Gerudos got to work. If there were four things the Gerudos were good at, they were rape, war, sock puppet theatre, and construction. They weren't as good as the engineers, but they could build a fort or turn a boring castle into an awesome castle.
Today was a good day and it wasn't even daylight yet. Link got his first conquered city and his first sex slave. Ganondorf got a new city and a castle that he was going to make awesome. The Gerudos had just completed their first successful offensive and had Hyrule's capital city to show for it. His next target was Kakariko Village. Conquer that and he'd have access to the lair of the underground mole people. They ate rocks. Rock eating was always useful.
Ganondorf could ask the zoras for help in attacking Kakariko Village, but that was a Wednesday thing. Today wasn't Wednesday. The assault on Kakariko Village had to wait. Today, he was going to learn the king's secret recipe.
Now, where would the king keep his secret recipe? If the king were there, Ganondorf would punch the answer out of him. Maybe he would poke the king's ribs with a stick. Nothing too bad. Ganondorf was saving his worst for the Kokiri. Those bastards were going to learn the meaning of "spleen replacement" first hand.
+++++- ten hours later-+++++
So far, everything was going smoothly. The golf course and fishing pond were finished. The castle was getting an ominous coat of paint. Construction began on the roller coaster. Ganondorf had instituted Terror Tuesday, Thirsty Thursday (drinks are half-priced all day Thursday every week), and Casual Friday throughout the conquered city. Ganondorf was already planning his attack on Kakariko Village.
"We'll need to open up a second front." he thought, "We'll need the Gorons. Not the Zoras. The king of Hyrule may be planning something. It would be best to save them as a secret weapon when we invade the forest.
Give the village an ultimatum. Surrender or be starved and bombed. Once the town surrenders, fortify it."
Ganondorf's train of thought was interrupted by shouting down the hall.
"You can't do that!" a Hylian man yelled, "You can enslave us, you can kill us the moment you don't feel like keeping an eye on us, but you can't do that!"
"Who's the conquerors?" the Gerudo countered, "And who's the one who was abandoned by his king?"
"I was just about to think of what to do with Kakariko Village when we capture it!" Ganondorf yelled, "What are you arguing about?"
"The Hylians in this castle are our slaves, are they not?" the Gerudo asked.
"They are." Ganondorf answered.
"She wants to put me in a dress!" the Hylian man argued.
"I wanted him to look pretty." the Gerudo countered.
"I'm a man." the Hylian man explained, "Hylian men don't wear dresses."
"I'm sorry no one explained to you how this works." Ganondorf told the Hylian, "We are the conquerors. You are the conqueree. What we tell you to do, you do. Not sex yet. We'll have to build up your endurance so that you don't die off and we don't run out of slaves. My point is: if we want you to look pretty, you are going to look pretty.
Now, you're not the only one confused here. Why so you have sex-specific clothing?"
"What, you don't?" the Hylian asked.
"I'm the first male Gerudo in a hundred years." Ganondorf told him, "For us, there wasn't a point, really. It was unfortunate for me since Gerudos aren't lesbians, don't experiment, and don't always want to walk or ride all the way to the nearest Hylian settlement for a quick one-night stand.
My point is, shut up. Some people like to hear whining. Gerudos aren't those people."
Ganondorf walked away, confident that the Hylian had learned the value of shutting up.
"You heard him." he heard the Gerudo tell the Hylian, "You have a pretty, pretty princess play date with the others."
"You have to set limits." Ganondorf told himself, "If you let them get away with this madness, this 'clothing based on your role in reproduction' weirdness, then they'll test your limits by listening to 'country rap' with lyrics dealing with improper utensil usage and… and other things."
Ganondorf shuddered at the mental images flowing through his mind.
"Their king has poisoned their minds. That bastard should know that it was my job to poison minds, not his. That Gerudo may be on to something. Note to self: schedule mandatory dress-up time for all conquered Hylians. Failure to comply will result in loss of fishing privileges."
Ganondorf didn't like the King of Hyrule too much. The king called Ganondorf fat, razed Ganondorf's sand castles to the ground, and only gave Ganondorf clothes on his birthday. Jerk.
Ganondorf was going to have the last laugh, though. He transformed the king's daughter into a furry (the king hated furries), reinstated whimsy in the capital of Hyrule, turned the boring castle into a badass castle, and was already better liked by the citizens of Hyrule.
All that was left was to capture the king's squash court. Why couldn't the king have left the squash court behind instead of taking it with him? Ganondorf's blood boiled at the thought of all the fun the king was having with that squash court.
"I'll show him." Ganondorf told himself, "My empire is going to be way better than his. I'll strip him of his authority so that he'll have no choice but to see how awesome my empire is."
Defeating the king would come at a price, though. The forest was a natural fortress and the Kokiri were crafty little bastards. Ganondorf just wanted to kick their snotty-little faces.
Ganondorf began running some calculations in his head. He knew the king still had thousands of soldiers left, most of them among the best in the world since the king only risked poorly-trained conscripts. Investing entirely in a frontal assault could wipe out most of the combined Gerudo-Goron-Zora forces. Even the mighty iron knuckle had its limits. Ganondorf had to divide his forces and attack at multiple fronts. He would have his engineers construct mini-forts. If he could conquer the Moblin city-states, he could use their soldiers to disrupt the Hylian-Kokiri was effort.
He will have his best and brightest come up with improvements to Link's prototypical armor. It wasn't scary enough. Not by a long shot. If he was going to teach Link how to be a great evil king, he needed Link to be feared. You can't do that unless you're scary.
Ganondorf didn't like the idea of Link risking his life against the elves, but he already promised he'd let Link burn the Kokiri. This promise wasn't some deathbed wish or wedding vow. This was a promise involving arson-related war crimes. You never break those.
Now he had to throw Link a proper birthday party.