Chapter Three: Building bridges
Jack was seated his jeep, he stared at Kate's front door through the window. He looked at his watch, he was early, only by 15 minutes, but he was still early. He flinched, he was stalling and he knew it.
Jack took in a deep breath, as he held it in for 5 seconds, he found himself wondering if Kate had been seeing anyone over the last 3 months, no, she wouldn't have...would she?
He slowly let out the breath.
Why is this so hard? Just get up and knock on her door...damn it.
He pressed his forehead against the steering wheel. He had showered and changed at work, gotten a drink with Lyla and here he was. Still early.
He found himself wishing he wasn't in this position, he wished he could just drive away and be a coward. But he couldn't do that to Kate, not after what she went through.
He looked at his watch.
14 minutes early.
Screw it.
He climbed out of the jeep, swinging the door shut behind him, he strolled upto her front door. He paused as he felt someone watching him, he tilted his head to the right to find a pair of brown eyes studying him suspiciously.
Jack gave Kate's neighbour a polite wave, the elderly neighbour simply squinted at him and returned to her stitching.
Jack shook it off. He faced the front door, preparing himself. His mind was getting pretty fed up with his nervous behaviour.
Okay, alright, just knock-lift your hand, and knock-
Much to his surprise the front door swung open-Kate was holding a garbage bag, she looked just as surprised to see him as he was to see the front door spontaneously swing open.
'Jack?'
'Kate.'
Kate gave him a peculiar smile, 'you're early.'
Jack nodded, 'yeah I uh...I finished earlier than I thought I would.'
Kate nodded as she smiled politely, pretending that she wasn't hoping he would tell her it was because he couldn't wait to see her.
'Come on in, I'm just gonna take the trash out-'
Jack stepped forward as he took a bag from her, 'here, let me.'
Kate didn't argue as she and Jack walked shoulder to shoulder towards the dustbin, he lifted the lid. Kate tossed her bag into the bin, Jack then put his in the bin too.
'Thanks,' Kate smiled at him.
Jack shrugged and flashed her a small smile as he placed the lid onto the bin, 'Its not a problem.'
For a moment, they simply watched eachother.
Kate was the first to break eye contact, Jack looked down as Kate offered, 'we should probably head inside.'
Jack nodded, 'yeah, yeah ofcourse.' He paused, trying to sound as sincere as possible, 'how's Aaron doing?'
Kate gave Jack a soft smile, 'He fell asleep an hour ago.' She walked into the house as he followed closely behind. She paused at the door as he walked in. 'You don't have to do that you know.'
Jack looked at her questioningly, 'do what?'
Kate pushed the door shut, she was turned away from as she spoke, 'Force yourself to ask about Aaron. I appreciate the gesture though.'
She turned around, Jack met her gaze, 'I wasn't forcing myself.'
Kate simply nodded, 'okay.'
Jack watched her lead the way into the living room.
'okay'...? He sighed, sometimes he hated that could see right through him. He was surprised to find himself wishing he was sincere when it came to asking about Aaron.
Kate headed over to the kitchen counter, 'want a drink?'
Jack shook his head, 'no, I got a drink with a colleague before I came...we had some spare time on our hands.'
Jack paused-why was he explaining himself to her?
Kate nodded, 'What's your colleague's name?' she asked as she studied the options of wine, mineral water or juice.
'Lyla.'
Kate paused, It was a woman? Kate reached straight for the wine.
Jack glanced at the photograph of Kate and Aaron on the wall. He felt a stab of guilt in his heart; before they had returned to the island, Jack had pretty much left Kate alone to take care of Aaron. Jack hadn't been strong enough to face Aaron, not after discovering that Claire was his half sister at his father's funeral. The same half sister he had lost on the island. Everytime he looked at Aaron, he was reminded of his failure to save Claire. He was reminded of the guilt.
Claire wasn't the only issue he had with Aaron, Jack disliked the thought of having kids. His parents had messed him up so much, he couldn't bare the thought of doing it to someone else, especially to his own children. He understood how fragile a child could be.
Kate took a sip from the wine glass, he furrowed his brow as he noticed the distance between them. Kate walked over to him, she sat opposite him on the black leather sofa.
Kate ran a finger around the rim of the wine glass as she asked him, 'So, how've you been?'
Jack nodded, 'I've been...okay.' He paused, 'how about you?' His eyes lingered on her every movement, painting a picture in his head.
Kate slowly nodded in return, 'I've been okay too.' She frowned at the wine glass as she added, 'I missed you.' Her eyes drifted to his, he could feel her searching his expression for some kind of an answer, 'A lot.'
Jack looked down, avoiding her penetrating gaze. He hated himself for being too scared to say anything. He hated himself for being a coward. Why couldn't he just open his mouth and say it...say 'I missed you too.'
Why couldn't he meet her gaze and let her know he still loved her?
He knew why, she had let him in once before, and he had hurt her beyond repair. After losing the baby on the island, neither of them could stand to face themselves, let alone to face eachother.
Kate felt a familiar feeling of disappointment spreading through her heart. He hadn't even pretended to miss her. At this point she didn't care whether he lied or not, she just needed reassurance. She needed hope.
'Do you even want to be here Jack?'
Jack lifted his head, his eyes met hers, and for the first time that evening, he couldn't bring himself to turn away.
'I do Kate, you know that.'
Kate smiled sadly, 'I wish I did, but after everything that happened, I don't.'
Jack felt his heavy heart sink even further as he replied, 'Kate. I just...I don't know if we can make it work.'
Kate studied him, the dark brown shirt he was wearing made his tender eyes stand out more than usual, she couldn't bring herself to break his gaze. Despite going through so much heartache, she was still endlessly attracted to him and it scared her, because it meant she needed him whether she liked it or not.
What she found even more petrifying was the thought of him not needing her.
She gave him a wistful look, 'After everything we went through to be together-I think we owe it to ourselves to give this a second chance.'
Her smile faded after a moment as she bit her thumbnail, she was getting impatient. She needed something solid from him. Having the ball in his court was killing her.
Jack studied her, he didn't know how to tell her how damaged he was.
Jack shook his head, 'Kate, this is for your own good, its better if we don't go down that road just yet.'
Kate felt slightly annoyed, 'then when'll be a better time for you?'
Jack looked at her, he was surprised by her irritated tone. After being so patient with him, she was finally reaching the end of her tether.
'Kate...'
Kate shook her head, she wasn't in the mood to watch him blow her off again.
'Look, Jack. The last three months of my life have been so hard without you...' she paused, it was as if she was searching for the words, she whispered, ' They've been so empty.' Her emerald eyes locked with his. 'If you don't love me...be man enough to say it.' Jack winced at the bluntness of her words, 'But don't leave me hanging on like this. It's not fair and you know it.'
Jack frowned at her, 'why do you wanna be with me Kate? You don't know anything about me.'
Kate retorted, 'I know enough.'
Jack looked at her helplessly, 'I hurt you, I broke your heart-why do you wanna put yourself in that position again?'
Kate didn't hesitate as she replied, 'Because I love you...'
Jack stared at her, her expression was pained but sincere, 'And if you really don't wanna see me again. Then just go. Walk out of that door and don't look back. Because I'm tired of waiting for you to be ready, I gave you time, I gave you space-' she scoffed, 'and I'm the one who lost the baby-'
That stung, Jack argued, 'That's not fair-'
Kate cut him off, 'Be straight with me Jack, that's all I ask.'
Jack studied her, unlike Kate, he wasn't easily riled up when it came to his emotions, his decisions weren't based on impulse all the time. He loved her, there was no doubt about it, but he needed her to know who he was if he was going to pursue this. He needed her to understand why he reacted the way he did when she lost the baby.
'Is this what you really want?'
Kate looked at him, she didn't need to reply, Jack understood what the look meant.
He sat silently for a moment as Kate anxiously waited for his response, his eyes drifted over to her. He was far from perfect, but if being with him would make her happy, then it was fine with him. Kate studied him as she tried to gauge his response, he looked down, avoiding her gaze.
Kate straightened, she was scared of what his answer might be. His eyes seemed to darken from the reflection of the dark wooden floor, he was staring at it stubbornly. Thinking of how to word his answer.
He sat up, facing her, 'How do you wanna take this?'
Kate fought back a grin, 'slow?'
Jack blinked, convinced he had just died alittle inside. He hesitantly replied, 'okay-'
Kate walked over to him as she added, 'Jack-I was kidding-'
Jack climbed to his feet, he gave her a smile, the relieved expression on his face made her heart dance. He was still in love with her. She tiptoed, leaning up against him, she kissed him slowly, savouring the intimacy the moment brought them. Jack let his hands trace her waist as he kissed her back tenderly, she leaned even closer as the kiss deepened, wrapping her arms around his neck. Jack kissed her passionately, never wanting the moment to end, but she reluctantly pulled away, he leaned in again, but didn't find her lips, he opened his eyes to find her eyes were still closed, she pressed her forehead against his and whispered, 'We shouldn't rush into things.'
It was Jack's turn to feel disappointed, he nodded politely, afterall, he was a gentleman.
'Sure. If that's what you want.'
Kate gave him a look, it wasn't what she wanted, but it was the sensible thing to do. They're feelings for eachother were so intense, rushing back into things made no sense. She pecked him on the lips, Jack smiled softly.
Kate felt her cheeks redden as Jack gazed at her the way he used to when they were first together.
Jack studied her, 'Kate...I missed you too.'
Kate smiled at him warmly, she knew how hard it was for him to talk about how he felt. She used to find it hard too once, but with Jack, she found it easier, his love had changed her, it had made her the person she had always wanted to be. It felt right to be honest with him. Words seemed to leave her as his eyes searched hers, she stepped forwards, wrapping her arms around him, she held him close, Jack held her tightly.
For the first time in three months, he felt close to someone, he felt content. He felt as if he belonged here after all.
Jack pulled away after a moment, 'I should get going, I've got an early shift tomorrow.'
Kate nodded as her hands trailed down his chest, she pulled away too.
'What time do you finish?'
Jack furrowed his brow in thought, Kate smiled, she had missed his pensive expressions.
'At 2...' he looked at her, he found himself double minded for a second as he pondered whether to make the next move or not.
'You wanna have lunch tomorrow?' he asked.
Kate looked disappointed, 'I can't. I have to pick Aaron from nursery and get some groceries. How about tomorrow night?'
Jack shook his head, 'I got the night shift.'
Kate smiled slightly as she tried to mask her disappointment, 'that's too bad.'
Jack nodded, they stood in silence for a moment, he opened his mouth to suggest something but Kate was one step ahead of him as she offered, 'Well, you've got my number...so if you find yourself with some free time on your hands, give me a call?'
Jack nodded, 'sounds good to me.'
Kate grinned, it did sound good. Her heart was actually fluttering in her chest and she couldn't believe it. He glanced at the door, 'I better go...'
Kate nodded, as she awkwardly mumbled, 'yeah, yeah. You should.'
Nodding in agreement, Jack headed for the front door, he turned around, his eyes met hers as he smiled sincerely, 'Good night Kate.'
Kate smiled softly, 'Goodnight Jack.'
End chapter three:
Chapter Four: Three's a crowd
Jack walked into the staff changing rooms at the hospital, he opened his locker, he hadn't been able to focus all day, he couldn't stop thinking about the kiss he and Kate shared last night. All those feelings it had bought back to the surface, he found himself feeling alive, dare he think it, he found himself feeling happy.
He knew however, that somewhere along the line, he would have to give Kate an explanation of his behaviour when she was pregnant and when she lost the baby. She deserved it, he had to give her credit, she had been the strong one in the relationship. When everything was falling apart, she had kept it all together-she had kept them together. He owed her for that, and he didn't blame her for giving up on him when she lost the baby. He grabbed a bottle of water from his locker, closing the locker door, he paused as he heard someone moving in the next row.
'Hello?'
There was no response, Jack frowned, he slowly walked along his row, peering round the corner, he felt relief and concern wash over him as his eyes landed on an upset Lyla. Her usually beautiful face was tainted with tears.
'Lyla?'
She looked up at Jack, feeling embarrassed, she buried her face in her hands, 'oh great...'
Jack smirked at her, 'Come on, I've seen you in a worse state...'
Lyla gave him a look, Jack grinned, 'remember that time you had a cold? Your nose was dripping-you eyes were like-'
'Okay, smart ass, I get the idea.'
Jack felt his heart lighten as a small smile reached her lips. He studied her, 'what's wrong?'
Lyla looked almost embarrassed, 'nothing...I just...' she trailed off, Jack studied her. He knew that look, it was the look every surgeon had atleast once during their career. She lost her first patient. She failed for the first time.
'How'd it happen?' He asked gently.
She rubbed her hands over her face, wiping aside her tears, 'It was a newborn, born with respiratory organs on the outside of his abdomen.'
Jack frowned, he hated it when they lost a child at work, especially a weak child. It made it even more painful to accept.
'I went in, cutting him open...' Jack studied her, she turned to Jack, her eyes were tender, she looked so vulnerable.
Her voice sounded soft, 'when the monitor flat lined...the mother ran in, she looked so desperate Jack, she was looking right at me...' Jack understood just how much she hated it when she felt powerless, when she had all the tools but no luck. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, she buried her face in his neck, sobbing softly.
Jack didn't stop to think as he offered, 'You wanna grab a drink after our shift? We talk...or just drown our sorrows...'
Lyla nodded, 'yeah, that'd be great.'
Lyla gave him a soft smile, Jack smiled at the stunning doctor.
She pursed her lips for a moment, glancing up at him with a coy expression she softly added, 'Thanks.'
Jack looked at her, 'for what?'
Lyla gently replied, 'for being there.'
Jack smiled, 'I got your back.'
He froze-for some reason-those words made him feel guilty as he remembered Kate. He nervously looked away from Lyla. He furrowed his brow, he wasn't doing anything wrong, Lyla was a colleague and a friend. She had been there for him over the last three months, they had gotten drinks together before and nothing had come of it, so why was tonight a problem?
Lyla smiled at him as she climbed to her feet, 'Meet you Lenny's after our shift?'
Jack nodded, 'yeah, take care of yourself...'
Lyla gave him a charming smile, 'And you.'
Jack watched her leave, Lenny's was a bar that was close to the hospital, the bar tender, who's name was also Lenny had watched Jack down alot of drinks over the past few months. Lenny's was his favourite bar. Before the island, Lenny's was the bar he would go to after work, and more often than he liked it, he'd find his father there too.
Lenny's bar:
Jack strolled into the dusky bar, its wooden tables and wooden chairs reminded him of something out of a cowboy movie, he walked upto the bar, his eyes landed on Lyla, her long curly hair glinted in the dimly lit bar, she didn't look up from her drink as Jack settled onto a stool besides her.
'Hey...' Lyla looked up at the sound of Jack's voice.
She smiled, 'Hey,' much to Jack's surprise, she reached across and hugged him briefly, 'I'm glad you made it.'
Lenny finished serving his last customer, he turned to Jack and Lyla, 'hey you two, the usual?'
Jack nodded at the butch, balding bar tender, 'yeah thanks.'
Lyla smiled, 'I was pretty certain you'd cancel on me...'
Jack frowned as he smiled slightly, 'why's that?'
Lyla shrugged, 'you cancel on me alot. I should be asking you why that is.'
Jack shook his head, 'not intentionally.' She gave him a look, he stuck with his excuse, 'I usually have alot of work to do, and I've been doing double shifts for the past three months, so after work I'm usually too tired.'
Lyla studied him, a glint in her eyes, 'what's so different about today then?'
Jack smiled slightly, his heart warming to the fact that he had Kate in his life again.
'I figured it was time to move on. To let go of the past.'
To let go of the island.
Lyla smiled at Jack, this was great news.
Lenny set the drinks down infront of them, Lyla lifted her glass, 'to new beginnings...'
Jack nodded, lifting his glass, 'I'll drink to that.'
They both chugged down their vodka shots.
Jack closed his eyes for a moment, as Lyla shook her head while wincing.
'I will never get used to how much that burns my throat.' She said, Jack grinned at her as they both talked, laughed and got drunk.
That evening, Jack's apartment:
Jack pushed his apartment door open, Lyla giggled as she stumbled slightly. Jack laughed before stumbling himself, Lyla put out a hand to help him up, but he accidentally pulled her down with him. Lyla landed on top of him with a thud. Jack grinned at her as she laughed, their lips were inches apart.
'I'd hate to interrupt...' Lyla and Jack snapped their heads up, on seeing Kate holding Aaron, Jack scrambled to his feet, Lyla noticed the change in Jack, she helped herself up.
Jack sounded breathless, 'Kate...uh, hey,' he gave her a smile, she threw him a false smile.
Lyla looked from Kate to Jack, Kate put Aaron down as she walked over to Lyla, 'You must be Lyla...' Lyla nodded as she shook the stunning brunette's hand.
'I'm Kate.'
Lyla slowly nodded, 'you were on the flight that...'
Kate nodded, Lyla smiled at Aaron, 'he's so cute.'
Jack could feel Kate's eyes on him, he looked her in the eye, 'Lyla dropped by to pick up some notes for a patient.'
Kate smiled, 'You were both drinking huh?'
Lyla grinned, 'there's nothing like a good drink after an intense day at work...we always grab a drink, atleast once a fortnight. Its important to have someone to unwind with after work.'
Jack gulped as he found himself feeling guilty for no reason whatsoever.
He walked into the study, grabbing the notes, he returned to the living room, to find Lyla answering Kate.
'-and I'm still kinda new, he's made life alot easier for me at work,' she threw Jack and adoring smile, 'he's sweet like that.'
Kate mimicked Lyla's smile as she looked at Jack. If Lyla knew Kate the way Jack did, that smile wasn't a 'he's adorable smile' it was a 'when she goes, I'm gonna kick your ass' smile.
Jack handed Lyla the papers, the only thing he could think about was getting rid of her, 'here you go,' he yanked open the front door, 'I'll see you at work.'
Lyla nodded gratefully, she pecked him on the cheek, 'thanks, for everything.'
Kate paused...everything...?
Jack smiled politely as he ushered her out of the apartment, Lyla drunkenly looked over his shoulder at Kate and Aaron, she threw Kate a smile and gave Aaron a little wave, Aaron didn't seem too fond of Lyla either, he had a scowl on his face. For a three year old, he had complex morals.
Jack took a deep breath before turning to face Kate, he wished he wasn't as drunk as he was.
'Kate-'
'You told me your shift finished at 2 and you had the night shift, so why were you getting drunk if you're working tonight...?'
Jack gulped, Kate studied him as she added, 'didn't the night shift start an hour ago?'
Jack nodded, 'Carter assigned the shift to someone else because Lyla was upset, and I took her for a drink.'
Kate folded her arms as she studied him. Why didn't he just give her a call if he finished early?
Kate put out a hand to Aaron, 'come on Aaron,' Aaron climbed off the couch and ran to his mother.
Jack groaned inwardly, 'Kate...' he shook his head. Telling her it wasn't what she thought was too cliché.
Kate gave him a disappointed smile, 'Call me when you're sober, we'll talk. I shouldn't have dropped in on you like this, I'm sorry for interrupting your night with Lyla.'
'You didn't interrupt anything.' He held her gaze as he sincerely added, 'I swear.' She didn't reply, Jack stepped forwards, 'stay...come on.'
Kate shook her head, 'You're drunk, I don't want Aaron to be around you right now,' she looked torn as she lowered her voice, 'I don't want to be around you right now.'
Jack stared at her as she walked past him, Aaron followed close behind.
'Mommy, why are we going?'
Kate smiled at Aaron sweetly, 'because you've got nursery tomorrow honey,' Aaron grinned.
'Nursery? We're painting tomorrow' Kate smiled adoringly at Aaron as he jumped with joy. She loved his innocence, it was the one thing she envied about him.
Jack looked at her helplessly, 'Don't go...'
Kate smiled, 'Three's a crowd Jack. When I kissed you last night, I didn't think you had moved on-'
'I haven't.'
Kate fell silent, sometimes actions spoke louder than words, 'I should go, I'll see you around.'
Jack watched her leave. He shut the door after her, pressing his forehead against the cool surface, he let out a tortured sigh.
Great. This is just GREAT.
His cellphone rang, Jack turned around, pressing his back against the door, he pulled out his cellphone.
He let out another sigh as he read the cellphone's display, it was Lyla, should he answer it? He watched the cellphone buzz and light up rhythmically, he open it, and immediately flipped it shut.
Lyla pulled her cellphone away from her ear, had Jack just hung up on her? Maybe it was an accident. She dialled his number again, it rang for a while. Jack didn't pick up.
Lyla scowled, she could see why he wasn't over Kate, Kate was absolutely stunning, she was captivating. Lyla frowned as she noticed that Aaron looked nothing like Kate, which frankly made Lyla curious to know more about the mother and son.
Everyone knew the story;
Jack, Kate and the survivors of flight815 had been rescued by a ship that was passing by, and had told everyone that the remaining survivors were dead on the island. But then for some reason both Jack and Kate, along with Aaron and the other members of oceanic 6 had vanished for three months. On returning they bought several dead bodies with them. The bodies' identities were kept classified. And no one was at liberty to ask the remaining oceanic6 any questions about what had happened and where they had been. Anyone to do so would be dealt with accordingly by the government.
Lyla pulled out an old newspaper article with Jack, Kate Austen and Hugo Reyes on the front, she studied Kate's photograph.
For some reason, she didn't buy that Aaron was Kate's son. Being a doctor, she could access both of their files and see if the blood types matched, if they did, nothing more would come of it. But if they didn't...
Lyla smiled slightly.
End chapter four:
Chapter Five: Choices
Jack glanced at his watch, he opened the jeep door. He hadn't been able to sleep knowing that Kate was mad at him, and he didn't want her to have the wrong idea about him and Lyla. His heart was with Kate. His watch read 1am, his eyes drifted to downstairs windows, one room's light was on. Maybe Kate couldn't sleep either... He stared at the front door, he somehow felt nervous, passionate and torn all at once.
He wanted to see her, but he didn't want to disturb her. He groaned, had he wasted a twenty minute drive? He ran a hand through his hair as he began to shake his head.
No, I'm not going back, not after coming this far. I have to see her. I have to let her know that I want her and not Lyla.
If it was any other woman, he wouldn't have been so desperate to let her know he loved her. But this wasn't any woman, this was Kate. He refused to risk letting something come between them.
Without waiting any longer, his feet led him towards the door. His heart had decided for him, he was going to see her.
Kate sat up at the sound of the front door knocking, she frowned, alarmed, who was knocking at her front door at 1am?
She climbed to her feet, she had been reading a novel, but hadn't taken any of it in, her mind had kept flitting back to Lyla and Jack and what they could be doing right now.
Kate hadn't been able to sleep, she was restless by nature. It something she had no control over, but when it came to Jack, she became irrationally restless. She had thought about going to see him, but she didn't want to leave Aaron home alone and she didn't want to disturb his sleep for her own selfish reasons.
Kate picked up a blanket, she wrapped it over her shoulders as she approached the front door. She opened it slightly.
Jack watched Kate's expression to turn from suspicious to relieved as she set eyes on him, she was dressed in a black tank top and jeans, with a blanket snugly wrapped around her shoulders.
Jack whispered, 'Hey.'
Kate studied him, 'Hey, what're you doing Jack, its 1am...You should be asleep. You've got work tomorrow.' She frowned at him, he looked as if he hadn't heard her, his eyes sparkled as he watched her.
'You're not asleep either.'
Kate smiled slightly, 'no, I'm not.'
Jack looked up as he felt a raindrop land on his head, Kate glanced upwards too, it began to rain heavily.
Kate pulled the door open, 'you drunk?'
Jack shook his head, 'nope.'
Kate gave him a small smile, 'come on in.'
Jack nodded gratefully, 'Thanks,' he replied as he entered the warm home.
Once inside, Kate shut the front door, she pulled the blanket tightly around her shoulders as she turned to face Jack. They were standing in the hallway, Kate leaned against the banister whilst folding her arms, she asked, 'Why're you here?'
Jack replied without thinking, 'I wanted to see you.'
Kate frowned slightly at him, 'at 1am?'
Jack sighed, 'I know its late, and I'm sorry-'
Before he could continue, Kate cut him off, 'actually, its a good thing you came, I was sorting through some of my things and found some of your clothes, you can take them with you-come on up.'
She nodded towards the top of the stairs as she led the way Jack followed her silently. He had been hoping that his invitation to follow her upstairs would come with different intentions.
His eyes drifted over her figure as she led him along the familiar upstairs hallway, his heart pounded in his chest as he thought of all the times they had made love on the island and before they returned to the island, he missed having her in that way, he missed holding her.
Jack walked into her bedroom as she strolled over to a box on the floor, his eyes scanned the maroon drapes and maroon bed covers, the wooden floor lay under a classical maroon rug at the foot of the large bed. The room hadn't changed at all since he had last seen it.
Kate opened the box to make sure she had put the shirts and his belongings in it, 'I think this is all of your stuff, but I'm not sure, here take a look...' she stepped back, unaware that his eyes weren't on the box, they were infact focused on her, the softly lit room emphasized the slight blush in her cheeks. Her dark hair glinted in contrast to her soft skin.
On noticing the lack of response, she turned around to face Jack.
'Jack, you gonna take a look-?' Her voice caught in her throat as she noticed the way he was looking at her. Her emerald eyes met his mesmerized gaze, she whispered softly, 'you shouldn't look at me like that.'
'Like what?' he asked gently as he stepped closer, Kate stepped back, feeling the bed pressing against the back of her legs, Jack's eyes searched hers, he felt as if he was falling in love with her all over again.
'Like that Jack.'
Jack touched her chin with one hand, she lifted her eyes, daring to meet his wistful gaze.
'Kate, I can't stand being so close to you and not being able to kiss you whenever I want...'
Kate gulped, 'you should leave-'
Jack frowned slightly as she began to pull away from him, cutting her off, he stepped forwards, pressing his lips firmly against hers, as soon as she stopped resisting him, he kissed her softly and tenderly, allowing their attraction to become more than something physical. Kate clenched his shirt collar, pulling him closer as she fell back onto the bed, she returned the kiss with a slow burning passion that both captivated him and blew him away.
Her hands trailed along his chest as he lay on top of her, he leaned in again, kissing her deeply this time, he felt her warm hands unbuttoning his shirt. His hands trailed her back coming to a halt at her waist as she returned the kiss with greater passion than before, the heat between them was heavy, Jack pulled out of the kiss as Kate pulled off her tanktop, tossing it aside, she leaned up against him, kissing him hungrily as he removed his shirt. Losing themselves in the moment, they rolled over on the bed, letting his shirt fall softly onto the rug at the foot of the bed.
End chapter five;
Chapter Six: Loss
Flashback: On the island;
Kate groaned in agony as she clutched her abdomen, she called to Sun, 'get Jack...!'
Sun ran out of the tent in search of Jack.
Kate closed her eyes, her hair was soaking wet and she was covered in mud, she and Sun had gone on a trek to find Jin, when Kate had slipped, landing face first in a ditch. She fought back tears, she hadn't wanted the baby because Jack didn't and Kate couldn't bare the thought of losing Jack. But now that there was a chance she might lose the baby-she closed her eyes and prayed it was okay.
Jack came running in, it was the first time he had laid eyes on Kate since they argued about her pregnancy.
'Kate...!?' alarmed, he turned to Sun, 'WHAT HAPPENED?!'
Sun flinched under his anger, 'we went on a trek-and she slipped-'
Jack stared at Kate, 'you went on a TREK in the rain?!' he shook his head, defeated, 'in your condition?!'
Kate winced in pain, 'I know-I know-Jack-Please, just, make sure it's okay...' tears streamed down her cheeks, Jack's anger immediately waned, he kneeled besides her.
Sun stared at the distressed couple as it hit her, 'in her condition?' Kate was pregnant.
Sun kneeled besides Kate, holding her hand supportively, Jack took Kate's pulse, he pressed an ear just below her abdomen, he felt so helpless-he was a doctor and the island simply didn't have the tools he needed to make sure it was okay.
Jack turned to Sun, 'how far did she fall?'
Kate cut Sun off before she could reply as she lied, hoping it would change things, 'Not far-'
Sun looked straight at Jack, 'she fell 10 feet, landing on her front.'
Jack closed his eyes, taking it in, his eyes met Kate's.
Kate looked horrified at what she had done, how could she have been so stupid?
Jack pressed gently below Kate's abdomen, Kate writhed in pain. Jack didn't have the tools to support his findings. But he knew that Kate being in pain meant the baby wasn't in a good state.
Kate felt herself go numb, she whispered, 'why do I feel so hollow Jack?'
Jack didn't respond as he stared at her jeans, Sun fought back tears, Kate followed their torn expressions as she looked down, the colouring of her jeans said it all, she had had a miscarriage.
Jack watched the woman he loved fall apart, his heart ached in his chest. He hated feeling powerless, 'Kate...I'm sorry-'
Kate sobbed as Sun held her, Jack reached out to Kate, Kate glared at him, 'Get out.'
Jack knew why she was mad at him, he didn't want the baby in the first place and now this had happened. Sun gave Jack a sympathetic look, the burden of guilt that Kate placed on his shoulders made him feel weak.
He whispered, 'Kate, ' she shook her head at him as she ordered him, 'Get OUT.'
Jack fought back tears as the reality of what had happened struck him, he had lost a child. He had lost his child and Kate held him accountable for not wanting the baby in the first place.
Jack walked out of the tent as Sun comforted Kate, he was met with the remaining survivors' concerned expressions.
Hurley noticed his defeated expression, 'dude, what happened?' Hurley's voice was drenched in concern, 'is Kate okay?'
Jack gulped as he composed himself, 'she had a ...' he trailed off as his voice began to crack, he gulped again, trying to stay in control of his emotions, '...she had a miscarriage,' he finished.
The survivors looked stunned, Jack glanced up at the clouds, he heard thunder rumbling in the distance as dark clouds settled on the horizon.
End flashback:
Kate's house, the bedroom:
Kate stirred in her sleep, a content smile was on her face.
Beep beep, beep beep, beep beep, she let out a groan as the alarm went off. She lifted an arm and blindly began hitting the bedside table until she hit the alarm.
Having turned off the alarm, she turned around face Jack, who wasn't there. Kate frowned as she sat up in bed, her heart sunk a little as she stared at the empty space besides her on the bed. He must have gone to work. She glanced at the clock, smiling contently. There was no feeling quite like spending the night in the arms of the one person you truly loved.
A fully dressed Aaron ran into her bedroom, Kate smiled at him, confused, 'hey honey,' she paused, 'who got you dressed?'
'Uncle Jack...' Aaron giggled.
Kate climbed out of bed with the blanket wrapped around her, 'is he still here?'
Aaron shook his head, 'no, he just went.'
Kate scrambled to the window just in time to see Jack's jeep drive away.
'Where?'
Aaron grinned, 'to work, he said he'd take me with him one day.'
Kate smiled warmly at Aaron who had a triumphant expression on his face for successfully stringing together the sentence. Aaron was very fond of Jack and it was sweet of Jack to make an effort with Aaron.
'Come on, let's get you some breakfast and get you to nursery.'
Aaron shook his head, 'we had pancakes.'
Kate frowned, bemused, 'we?' Aaron and Jack?
She sighed, disappointed to have been left out.
'We saved you some mommy,' Aaron paused, suspicious, 'why was uncle Jack here today?'
Kate felt her cheeks burning red, damn observant kids.
'Did you play with him?' He asked innocently.
Kate broke into a grin, 'You could say that. Come on, we're gonna be late for nursery.'
End chapter Six:
Chapter Seven: Healing
Flashback: on the island, a month after Kate lost the baby, in Jack's tent:
His bare body felt warm but firm against hers, this had been their first time making love since she had lost the baby. Kate closed her eyes, pressing her nose against his neck as she whispered tenderly into his ear, 'I love you,' she sounded breathless, mostly because she was. Jack had been gentle with her tonight and she appreciated that.
She felt his warm muscular arms tighten their hold around her, his hands were placed at the small of her back, supporting her, completely drained and exhausted from their passionate night, Kate pulled away from him. She leaned back onto the bed space, Jack joined her as she rested her head on his chest, Jack stared up at the tent ceiling. Kate could feel his chest rise and fall softly, she whispered, 'Jack...?'
Jack glanced down at her as he smiled contently, 'yeah?'
Kate felt her cheeks burning red as his eyes searched hers, making her feel exposed and vulnerable.
She pulled the blanket over them, resting her head on his shoulder, she asked him softly, 'Do you miss home?'
Jack studied her, she was referring to L.A, to the world in which Aaron was Kate's first and main responsibility, and Jack rarely saw her.
'I don't know.'
Kate nodded softly, 'Did you see the way everyone was looking at me when Sawyer died...?' Her voice turned heavy, under the pressure of guilt. 'Should I have told him I loved him?'
Jack didn't reply for a moment, he turned on his side so he was facing her, he propped his head up with his hand, as he leaned on his elbow, Kate's eyes drifted to the tattoos on his arm, she traced them with her hand.
Jack knew she felt guilty about not being able to lie to Sawyer, he asked her gently, 'what do you think?'
Kate glanced up at Jack, 'Honestly?' Jack nodded as his eyes took in her beautiful features as the soft rays of moonlight that had crept in from the tent entrance lit the tent.
'I don't know.' She replied, her voice sounded distant, she lay flat on her back now as she stared up at the tent ceiling. They both fell silent. They knew having sex on the island was not a good idea after everything that had happened, but they hadn't been able to help themselves, when Kate walked into his tent this evening, he had no intention of sleeping with her. But as it always was with them, one look led to another, which led to something more.
Jack studied at her admiringly, Kate felt his eyes on her, she threw him a sweet smile as she asked, 'what?'
Jack shook his head, 'nothing...'
Kate grinned as she blushed, he always said it was nothing when he was caught gazing at her.
Jack leaned over to her, kissing her softly.
Kate glanced up at him, 'do you think what we have will work back home?'
Jack replied without hesitating, 'yeah. It will.'
Kate studied him, 'what'll be different this time?'
Jack smiled softly, 'Come on Kate, Aaron will be with Claire, and it'll just be you and me, the way it should be.'
Kate's smile faded, she wrapped the blanket around her shoulders, Jack studied her, 'Kate?'
He felt a pang of annoyance as he realised what she was doing, she was pulling away, emotionally and physically. She began to gather her clothes, Jack frowned at her, 'What're you doing?'
Kate looked at him, 'I know you didn't want our baby Jack-but you don't have to remind me all the time.'
Jack stared at her, 'what're you talking about?'
Kate challengingly held his gaze, 'If I was still pregnant, you wouldn't want to be with me would you?'
Jack carefully answered, 'but you're not pregnant anymore.'
Kate felt sick with guilt and shame as she hurried out of his tent, holding her clothes and the blanket around her shoulders, Jack climbed to his feet, he pulled on his jeans.
'Kate...?'
Kate headed straight for her tent, not wanting to face him. She hated that deep down, neither of them had wanted the baby, and seeing Jack's reluctance only reminded her of her reluctance, she had lost her own child. Maybe if she had cared more, maybe if she had actually wanted it, she wouldn't have been so careless with its life. By blaming Jack, she was transferring her guilt to him. He was stronger than her, he could handle it. She already hated herself enough as it was, having the scars of her mistake resting on her shoulders was the last thing she needed. Guilt was the last thing she needed.
End Flashback:
At the hospital:
Jack strolled through the corridor at work, he was blissfully unaware of the usual havoc around him. He had been smiling all morning, and the reason for that, was Kate.
He slowed down as he approached his office, the blinds were shut. He frowned, was someone inside?
He slowly turned the door handle, Lyla dropped a pile of files as she heard the door open. Jack stared at her, 'what're you doing?' She looked from the filing cabinet to the files in her hands.
'I was just...'
Jack stormed towards her, furious, he grabbed the files from her. Those were the medical files of the members of the oceanic 6, no one was allowed to access them except for Jack, and if it was an emergency, the chief of medicine.
Lyla shook her head, 'its not what you think?'
'Isn't it? Weren't you taking files that you aren't authorised to view?'
On realising she wouldn't be getting his sympathy, she short him a scowl, 'Why're you secretive? I'm your FRIEND Jack-I know your not allowed to tell me-but, don't you trust me?'
Jack studied her as several responses rushed through his mind.
With the truth about what was going on? No.
With what had happened on the island? No.
With the identities and medical histories of the survivors of flight815? No.
With Kate and Aaron? No Way.
Jack shook his head, not answering the question, he glared at her, 'how did you get into the cabinet?'
Lyla frowned at him, Jack grabbed her wrist, 'ANSWER ME!'
Lyla flinched, surprised by his aggressive attitude, she tossed a pair of keys at him, 'I stole them from my father-! Get off of me!'
Jack let go of her wrist, Lyla seethed at him, 'why're you so protective of Kate and Aaron? Why do you keep them tucked away from sight?'
'I don't KEEP them anywhere.'
Lyla stared at him, 'do you still love her? Because you know that would alter the judge's decision on your credibility as a witness on her trial-'
'This is none of your business.'
Lyla scoffed at him, Jack shook his head, she didn't understand the danger she was putting herself in by pursuing this.
'Lyla, listen to me-it's not safe-'
'Why not?'
'I can't tell you-'
Lyla smirked, 'then I'm gonna keep searching until I find evidence-'
Jack sighed, 'evidence of what?! Will you listen to yourself?'
Lyla glared at him, 'evidence that shows you're not the hero everyone thinks you are-' Jack froze in his steps as she continued, 'I mean what the HELL Jack? You never told me you were with Kate-we had a one night stand two months ago-and you've been seeing her on the side all this time?!'
Jack groaned, 'Lyla-we were both drunk that night-we talked about this-'
Lyla ignored him as she continued, 'And I'm gonna show the world she's not his mother-how understanding do you think the judge will be of that?!'
Jack stared at her, 'leave her out of this.'
Lyla smiled sadly, 'I can't.'
Jack studied her, 'why not?'
'Because you chose her over me. And I need to understand why...I'm a doctor-she's a murderer-she has a son, You don't even want kids-you're incompatible on so many levels-'
Jack glared at her, 'the only thing you and I have in common-is our drinking problem!'
Lyla fell silent, that hurt.
'No, no, you have feelings for me.'
Jack shook his head, 'No Lyla, I don't-'
Lyla studied him, she wasn't about to drop this.
Lyla studied him, 'when you come to your senses and realise that all she does is hurt you...come find me.'
Jack suddenly regretted spending that drunken night with Lyla, the night he had told her how much love hurt, how much love tore his world apart.
Jack watched her walk out of his office, he turned back to the files in his hands. There was a page missing from Kate and Aaron's files, Jack felt alarm bells go off in his mind.
Shit.
Jack ran out of his office, he peered down the hallway-which way had Lyla gone...??
His cellphone vibrated, Jack pulled it out of his pocket and checked who was calling.
It was Kate, he flipped it open and put it to his ear as his eyes searched the busy hallway...
'Hey...'
Kate's voice sounded warm, 'hey, you kinda rushed off this morning...I didn't get to say goodbye...'
'Yeah, sorry about that, I made pancakes, we saved you some.'
Kate sounded like she was smiling, 'yeah, they were um...different...'
Jack frowned, 'you just don't recognise talent when you taste it.'
Kate laughed, 'I just rang to say thanks for getting Aaron dressed and ready this morning.'
'Your welcome.'
'Call me after work, okay?'
Jack nodded as he noticed Lyla walk into the locker room, he sounded distant as he replied, 'yeah, yeah, I will.'
There was an awkward pause, Kate pondered if either of them were ready to say 'I love you' as couples did when they hung up on eachother.
Jack's voice sounded hurried as he mumbled, 'Kate-I'm kinda in the middle of something-I gotta go-'
'Okay, bye Jack.'
Kate waited for him to say goodbye, but he hung up. Kate furrowed her brow, what was that about?
End chapter Six;