Disclaimer: The Potterverse belongs to JKRowling (and Warner Bros., too, I suppose). JKR made it; I'm just playing in it for a while. Thanks, Jo.
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"Harry, we're all sorry about Sirius, you know."
"Yeah, I know," said Harry. "Look, I'm not still mad, but I am going to go outside alone for a bit."
They all said okay, and Harry gave another sad smile and walked out. Ginny swore that she would do something to make him smile for real.
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Chapter 3: Kiss and TellHermione started telling Ron how insensitive he was, while Ron made attempts to defend himself, and blame Hermione for not shutting him up before Harry came in. Ginny couldn't stand it, and went to look for Harry. He had said being alone was what he wanted, but Ginny knew that wasn't what he needed.
She went out the back door, and didn't have to go too far in the garden before she saw Harry lying on his back, but with his arms crooked so he was propped on his elbows. She couldn't tell if he was looking at the trees, or the stars starting to appear above them. It was now comfortably warm, but the air had that sharp feeling, and she knew it would be cooling fast with the sun down.
Ginny quietly walked over and sat next to Harry, then leaned back on her elbows so she was in the same position as he. He hadn't said anything as she approached, which was better than the anger she expected for ignoring his wish for solitude. She didn't say anything either, for a long time; she just kept sneaking glances at him out of the corner of her eye. She was amazed at how still he could be for so long. He seemed peaceful, but that just made Ginny think that he was getting better at keeping everything inside.
Looking straight ahead, she took a deep breath and finally spoke. "I think of Sirius at Christmastime the most." Harry just seemed to get even more still, so she continued. "He was so happy to have the house full, and it made all of us feel so much better being in London close to Dad."
She didn't want to dwell on that, so she hurried on with her story. "I still laugh about the ridiculous lyrics for Christmas carols he came up with... On time—he must have thought we all were out—he was singing the bawdiest words to 'We Three Kings,' and he came around a corner in the halls and almost ran me over... I could tell by the look in his eye that he thought I was just this innocent little girl and he was going to start to apologize or something... So I looked him right in the eye and said, '"bits" would be good rhyme.'"
Next to her, Harry let out the slightest puff of laughter. Ginny grinned, but kept looking straight ahead and continued her tale. "Sirius laughed so hard. He said, 'You do have six old brothers don't you?' ...We came up with a few more verses. Do you want to hear them?"
"Sure." Harry's voice sounded relaxed, and she also thought he was looking at her now, but she couldn't look him in the eye as she started to sing, "We three kings of orient are, looking for a good topless bar..."
Harry was chuckling after the first verse, and laughing out loud after the second. Ginny was blushing like mad, singing this kind of thing to Harry Potter, of all people, but she stopped and looked over at his face. Ginny didn't care how embarrassed she was, she felt so good to see the smile on his lips and the laughter still in his eyes.
His eyes... she was starting to get a little lost in his eyes, so she was a little startled to hear him speak. "You're amazing, Ginny," he said softly, and Ginny realized that their faces were pretty close together, now that they had both leaned over on their sides onto one elbow.
"What?" She felt pretty stupid the moment that left he lips, but she was too startled to say something clever or funny. She just kept looking in Harry's eyes, as he went on.
"You really made me feel better." Ginny almost said something, but Harry went on. "The first time you spoke in front of me, you defended me to Malfoy; you were the only one who could talk some sense into me after the snake attack; you faced the Ministry with us; you're amazing."
Harry Bloody Potter was calling her amazing? Ginny was trying to understand that when Harry said, "Heck, I could kiss just for the Bat-Bogey Hex on Malfoy."
"You could?" When would her brain speed up?
"Yeah." Harry's face was really close now. He was looking in her eyes, then at her lips, then he brought a hand up to softly touch her cheek, and then he pressed his lips to hers, and her brain stopped thinking altogether.
He was so soft at first, but then after just pulling back, he kissed her again. Ginny didn't know if she pressed harder, or if he did, but then he opened his mouth just wide enough to lightly touch her lips with her tongue. She didn't think she had decided to open her mouth, too, but now he was lightly teasing her tongue, and she moved hers, too, tasting a hint of the chocolate cake Mum had made just for Harry.
How long did they kiss? It seemed like a second—or maybe all night—but suddenly Ginny realized she hadn't been breathing, and she pulled back a little to gasp.
Harry pulled back enough to look at her, and she saw his eyes were dilated and he wasn't smiling now. He was staring at her lips, but before she could decipher his expression—hungry, maybe? He blinked and then said, "yeah, amazing."
Ginny was in shock. She had just gotten kissed by Harry Potter. Her only thoughts were: he kissed me; he kissed me; he kissed me; he kissed me. Harry looked in her eye and grinned happily. Ginny suddenly wondered what her own expression looked like. She still felt gob smacked. In a good way, of course. "I can't believe I waited so long," Harry said. "I can't believe no one else—" he trailed off and his expression turned to one of horror.
Oh dear Merlin, Ginny thought, now he's realized who he kissed. "Oh, Ginny," he said. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I forgot all about Dean."
So did I, Ginny almost said out loud. She hadn't exchanged letters with Dean in weeks, and, in truth hadn't thought about him in almost that long. She was thinking about how to explain that she and Dean weren't really that serious (and couldn't you kiss me again?) without sounding like she was either callous or a tramp, or both.
Harry stood up, turned slightly away and looked at his feet. "I'm not trying to mess that up for you, I— And Dean's a good mate, too, not like I know him as well as Ron... or Neville, even... I just— I'm sorry." Then he turned and fled going around the side of the house.
Ginny just could not believe what happened. She put her fingers up to her lips, which she could swear were still tingling. Her shock faded and she smiled as she thought about that kiss, but then she frowned as she thought about the aftermath. And then, she got angry. This was just not right. She supposed she couldn't get mad at Harry for kissing her. No she wasn't mad about that. She touched her lips again. His timing was no good though. Why did she start seeing Dean, anyway? Ginny knew whom she was mad at, now, and she started to stomp back to the house.
Mercifully, no one was in the kitchen or living room and she made her way to her room, slamming her door behind her, making Hermione look up sharply from her book. "What's the matter?" she asked.
"I'll tell you what's the matter!" Ginny snapped. "Someone told me it would be a good idea to see other people, even though I still liked Harry."
Hermione seemed totally nonplussed. "Umm, so it wasn't a good idea?" she said.
"Uhg! I suppose it was, because I could talk to him all last year, but bloody hell, Hermione! He just kissed me!"
Hermione sat up straight and looked very alert now. "Harry kissed you? Just now? That's great!" Hermione looked over at Ginny who was still pacing around her small room. "That is good, isn't it?"
"Arg!" was all Ginny could manage at first, and then she told Hermione what happened. "So now," she continued, "Harry's all worried about my relationship with Dean, and he doesn't want to do anything to his mate. Harry's too bloody noble for his own good."
"Hermione," Ginny was plaintive now, "what am I supposed to do now? I can't tell Harry that I'm breaking up with Dean; he'll just feel guilty for causing it, and I suppose it's not the best to do it with a letter... Oh! I can tell Harry that we've already broken up!"
"Ginny," Hermione sounded remarked like her Mum, "that lie will come out."
"Yeah. Bugger."
They eventually agreed that the best thing to do would be for Ginny to break up with Dean, face to face, soon after they were at Hogwarts, and just a little while after that, to let Harry know she was still interested. "Harry had better not go out with someone else in the meantime!" Ginny said as they finished that conversation.
"Do you have a better idea?" Hermione asked.
"No... and we also need to make sure he's not going to be all freaked out around me in the meantime."
"Leave that to me," Hermione said.
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The next day, Ginny and Hermione came out of their room just as Ron and Harry were passing by on the stairs. The boys were very quiet; it seemed that they didn't quite know what to say to each other after the little explosion last night.
"Harry," Hermione said to get the boys to stop, "about yesterday."
"Er, yeah," Harry replied looking down, "why don't we forget yesterday ever happened." Harry glanced up at Ginny as she was thinking, I'm not going to forget that kiss!
Hermione said, "No, Harry. We can't forget it. But we're all friends, and I think that we all understand what happened and we can all be friends still. Maybe better friends for knowing each other a little better."
Harry looked over to Ginny again and she said, "Yeah, Harry, we can accept yesterday and all still be good friends, right?"
Hermione is a genius. Ginny would never have believed that they'd be able to get what happened discussed in the open like this so soon. Of course, Ron was oblivious. He looked like he just wanted to be forgiven again by Harry.
Harry was giving a serious look right at Ginny when he said, "Of course we can." He even managed a small smile. Ginny let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Okay. Now I need to make it through the next couple of weeks.
Ron finally spoke up, "Right. 'course we can," he said, echoing Harry. "So, mate, going to tell us about your summer today?"
"Yeah," They all looked at Harry expectantly. "Er, how about after breakfast?"
"No argument there!" said Ron, who bounded down the rest of the steps with more energy. Both girls rolled their eyes, and then they all followed Ron down to the kitchen.
After getting stuffed by Mum, they all headed up to Ron's room. Harry took out his wand and cast locking, silencing, and imperturbable spells on the door in rapid succession.
"Harry!" Hermione gasped, "You'll get expelled for underage magic!"
"No, I won't," Harry said with a small grin. "But that's one thing I can't tell you about."
"What?" yelled out Ron, "Harry, you said in your letter you weren't going to keep secrets."
"Yeah, I did. But Albus made a promise to someone else that I wouldn't tell. I'm a little annoyed that he made a promise in my name, but..." Harry gestured to Ron's open window, "no ministry owls, so I can't complain."
The three of them started to voice more complaints, but Harry held up his hand. "I'm going to keep Albus's promise that I won't tell... but I don't mind if you guess," he finished with another small grin.
"Dumbledore's hidden your magic somehow?" Ginny asked.
Harry stayed silent, but Hermione said, "He wouldn't need to talk to someone else about it if he could do that."
"You got a waiver from the Ministry!" Ron shouted, but Harry shook his head.
"Nothing so legal," he said.
Hermione narrowed her eyes, focused on nothing, and said, "He got the Misuse of Magic office to ignore your magic this summer, didn't he?"
Harry grinned and nodded. "He really knows how to get people to do what he wants. That kind of thing makes me get mad at him, but in this case..." He gestured to the owl-less window again.
"You can do magic outside school! You are so lucky!" Ron shouted. To his credit, he seemed excited for Harry, not jealous this time, but Harry's lips still tightened up and his jaw clenched.
Hermione must have seen it, too, because she jumped in before Harry exploded. "Ron! You've gotten to see and talk about magic every summer, every year your whole life! And you know what Harry's relatives are like..."
"Uh, right." Ron glanced nervously at Harry. "It's about time something like this went your way, eh mate?" He finished with an attempted grin.
Harry relaxed and grinned back. "Yeah. Thanks, Ron. I'm only supposed to be practicing, so I've had to restrain myself from hexing the Dursleys."
"Pity, that," said Ron.
"So what have you been practicing?" Hermione asked. "Have you been learning from Dumbledore himself?"
"Yeah. And he's a really good teacher. We started with Occlumency, which I was kind of nervous about after last year's fiasco, but that's been really good."
"Tell us all about it, Harry," Ginny said. She was so glad that Harry had something productive to work on so he wouldn't ruminate on Sirius the whole summer.
"Well, alright then..."
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Professor Dumbledore sat down in a comfortable chair directly across a small table from Harry, who was in an equally comfy chair. The set up was directly in front of a small but cheerful fire in Harry's bedroom. Dumbledore's conjuring was really good.
"Now Harry," Dumbledore began, "I know this didn't go well for you last year, but I have every reason to believe that you'll be successful. Your ability to cast a Patronus shows you can focus your mind, even in difficult circumstances, and your skill at breaking the Imperious Curse shows a strong will. Both bode well for our current endeavor."
Harry actually felt some measure of confidence replacing his trepidation.
"Now, to begin, I'd like to build on what you know from your facility with the Patronus. Focus on something that you think would help generate a Patronus, and at some point I'm going to try to nudge your thoughts to something else. All I'd like you do at this time is to break away from my eyes when you notice the change in your thoughts. I won't stay in your memories once you notice the change."
Harry considered the Dementor attack he had survived the previous summer, and thought about Ron and Hermione. He pictured their greeting once he got to Grimmauld place the first time. "Okay," he said, and looked up to Professor Dumbledore's eyes. "I'm ready."
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"You think of us to get a Patronus?" Ron interrupted Harry's tale.
"Uh, yeah," Harry said, flushing and looking down. Why is it so hard for boys to acknowledge their feelings, Ginny thought. Well, Harry did alright last night, even though his timing was bloody awful.
Hermione gave a tender look to Harry and said, "We love you, too, Harry."
Ron sputtered, and Harry got even redder. "Oh, get a grip, you two. Harry keep going; this is fascinating."
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Harry tried to stay focused on Hermione's hug and Ron's grin, snapping his mind back to that meeting when his thoughts drifted a little. After a little while he was thinking about them in first year: meeting them on the train, then discussing Nicholas Flamel in the library, then Ron getting smashed in the giant chess game. These were no longer happy thoughts.
"Hang on!" Harry cried, and pulled back.
"Good, Harry!" Dumbledore said.
"Not good," Harry said, rubbing his head, "you got me way off track."
"Ah, but we were still on the topic of your admirable friends. And, I wasn't entirely truthful before, I did try somewhat to stay in your mind; I left because you pushed me out."
"Really?"
"Yes, Harry. I will not lie to you. Especially about something so important."
"You don't mind withholding the truth sometimes, though, do you?"
"Harry, if you'd like me to apologize again, I will. I'm very sorry about the way I've treated you, especially regarding events of last year. I hope you understand that there are still sometimes I will need to keep secrets, but I am making a conscious effort to keep you more informed and more prepared. Our private lessons are part of that."
Harry blew out some breath. "I know, Professor. I'm sorry I snapped again... it's still hard."
"Quite understandable, my boy. I've survived worse."
Harry laughed. "Yeah, like in your office."
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"What happened in Dumbledore's office, Harry?" Ron asked.
"Don't interrupt, Ron!" scolded Hermione. "We want to hear about Harry's lessons."
"It's ok!" Harry jumped in before Ron and Hermione could start bickering. "That's basically the idea. He's really good at giving feedback, and encouraging progress. We've worked on Occlumency a few more times, and sometimes he's subtle, sometimes he tries brute force like Snape's mind rapes last year, and I'm getting faster at getting him out."
Hermione stared. "You can kick Professor Dumbledore out of your mind?"
"Yeah. Albus says as the Occlumens I have an advantage over the Legilimens, because it's my mind, after all. But he thinks what Voldemort does through my scar isn't exactly Legilimency."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I've been seeing what Voldemort sees... except for when he made me see what he wanted... We don't think he's ever seen my thoughts or memories. Voldemort had to learn through Kreacher that I cared about Sirius."
"Oh! Information only goes one way—just like the curse from him to you!"
"Hermione, that's almost exactly how Albus put it."
"Harry, mate, it's pretty weird to hear you call him that." Ron said.
"Uh, yeah... he sorta insisted. It's, uh, like a habit now."
Ginny thought that Harry sounded like he was hiding something, but she couldn't figure out what it could be. Before she could call him on it, Hermione took up the old conversation. "So if he's not doing Legilimency...?"
Harry explained, "The Occlumency training should help me keep out visions, even it's not quite the same, and it'll be good to have a defense against Legilimency or possession when I face him next."
"'When' not 'if,' Harry?" asked Ginny. "You're sure you're going to face him again?"
Harry closed his eyes took a deep breath and let it out. He looked around at them, a little nervously. "I have something really big to tell you... I thought about not telling you, but I was really mad at Albus last year for not telling me things... and if you're thinking about staying friends with me, you should know."
"Harry!" said Hermione, "Of course we're going to remain your friends!"
Ginny voiced her agreement along with Ron, but she was getting a bad feeling in her stomach. If Harry thought this was something that might make them question their friendship, it was bad.
Harry smiled weakly at Hermione and then Ron, then he gave Ginny a little longer look. He took another deep breath, and said, "It's about the prophesy made about me and Voldemort."
"It was destroyed," said Ginny.
"The recording of it was. The person who heard it still remembers it perfectly."
"It was Dumbledore, wasn't it Harry?" said Hermione. Harry just nodded, and Hermione said simply, "He told you." Harry closed his eyes and nodded again.
Oh sweet Merlin, Ginny thought, it is going to be really bad.
"What did it say, mate? We're with you no matter what."
"Thanks, Ron, but maybe you should wait 'til you hear it."
"Harry, of course we'll stick with you, but do you think it's... wise... for us to know?"
"We'd never tell!" exclaimed Ron.
"Honestly Ron, even if we'd like to think we wouldn't break under torture, there are other ways Voldemort could get it out of us."
"Oh, yeah," said Ron, suddenly chagrined. "If Voldemort wants to know, we shouldn't know, eh?"
"Voldemort not knowing might make him wonder a little, might give him a little pause, but if he knew, I don't think anything would really change, and... if he thinks you might know, maybe it would better if you could tell him, so he doesn't keep trying to find out. You're all already in danger because of me."
Ginny had been content to listen to the conversation, until now. This kind of talk from Harry really got her mad. "Harry Potter you stop thinking like that right now!" she said. "Voldemort is the reason we're in danger. Our whole family would still be against him, even if Your High-boywholived-ness wasn't around. Hermione would still be in the danger all Muggleborns are in. We're better off because of you—you put the wizarding world on alert about his return, and you taught the D.A. some real defense, and we all survived our first encounter with Death Eaters—which would have come sooner or later—because of you. I thought we got through to you after your pathetic apology letters at the beginning of the summer!"
Ron and Hermione were just staring Ginny openmouthed. Harry looked at her wide eyed, then broke into a grin. "Amazing," was all he said. He then shook himself and looked down, blushing a little. "Uh, sorry," he then muttered. Ginny glanced at Ron, who was oblivious of course, and then to Hermione who gave a little grin—of course she got the 'amazing' reference. Ginny knew she and Hermione would talk about that again in their room tonight. She quickly looked back at Harry, who was just glancing up with his face still angled down.
"Well," Ginny smiled at him. "It's all right, I suppose." How should she phrase this? "Just remember that we all love you, and we'll stand by you, and why don't you tell us this prophesy like you were about to?"
Harry looked a little stunned. "You—what?"
"We'll always be friends, mate," said Ron. "Didn't we say something like that already today?"
Hermione looked ready to nag Ron some more, but stopped as Harry took another deep breath and let it out. "Alright. Here it is."
Ginny listened with horror as Harry relayed the prophesy. She was stock still thinking about Harry having the whole world on his shoulders as Ron exclaimed, "Bloody Hell, mate!"
Hermione's eyes were wide, and she said, "Oh, I can't believe I dropped Divination! We'll have to find some good books about interpretation; I mean, 'power he knows not?' and 'at the hand of' could mean so many things..."
Harry looked at Ron and Hermione with a little smile. "This is just how I thought you'd react... I even predicted your response word-for-word," he said pointing to Ron. Then his smile vanished and he turned towards Hermione. "We're pretty sure it means that I have to kill Voldemort, or else he'll kill me. Murder or be murdered." He was just looking down at the end.
Ginny hadn't said anything yet, as she was thinking about things. She thought she should comfort Harry, but she was so angry herself... she just couldn't believe some things. "Dumbledore told you this right after the Ministry?"
"Yes."
"He knew all this time, and he knew that Tom was after the prophesy?"
"Yeah."
"I can't believe him! Why couldn't he tell you before? You never would have believed Kreacher, or even the vision, if you knew Tom was wanting you to get the prophesy for him! That whole fiasco never would have happened!"
"Yeah. That's what he said when he told me... I kinda flipped out."
"What do you mean, Harry?" asked Hermione.
"I trashed his office."
Hermione gasped, "You did what?"
"I, uh, sorta flung all his stuff, those silver instruments and everything, all over the place." Ron was looking at Harry in awe. Harry just sort of grinned a little at him. "Made me feel a little better."
Ginny calmed down a little, but she was smiling too. The image was satisfying; Harry on a rampage. She didn't suppose she had to be furious on his behalf if he did something like that. But she wondered... "Harry? How could agree to work with him so closely after that?"
"Well... I decided I really needed to, and—well, it was slow going at first, but it's hard to really study Occlumency right without learning some things about each other. Albus would sometimes see... some pretty painful memories... and sometimes, when I was learning, I turned it around on him, and I could see how he really feels—how hard some of his decisions are."
The were all quiet for a bit. Ginny was now processing that Harry had been looking into the mind of Albus Dumbledore. Everything happens to Harry... that damned prophesy explains why.
"Well," said Ron. "We're all still with you. How about some flying?"
It was a perfect Ron non-sequitur, and it made Harry and Ginny smile and Hermione frown.
Ginny and Hermione talked a little bit about the boys as they watched them fly, and then she grabbed a broom to join them, while Hermione grabbed a book.
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A/N If you've read this far, please leave a review. This is my first try, so constructive criticism (and really really glowing reviews!) would be most appreciated.