A/N: Hello everybody,

I've spent a lot of time thinking the last couple of days.

And while I'm a very private person I decided to share a piece of my past with you today.

A piece that changed my life forever.

My cousin, who happened to be like a brother to me, killed himself 5 years ago today.

And no, I'm not sharing this with you because I want pity or something like that.

But I'm sharing this because I've realized that there is so much the in the fandom lately.

Not only in the OUAT fandom, also in some others I'm involved.

People attacking the writers, attacking the actors, attacking other fans.

What the hell is wrong with people these days?

Writers get threatened because they realize their own visions, not what fans want to see. Actors get threatened for their opinions (and clearly they cannot please everyone), fans get threatened because they support their favorites and some people can't stand that.

What's wrong with the world?

Everybody sees things differently. And everybody should be mature enough to accept that.

And for the rest we have fanfiction.

We can bring things to life the way we see it in our own stories.

Sure, it would be amazing to see SQ happen…or Rizzles to name another example…but if it does not happen…it's not the end of the world.

We can still write it. And let's face it – there are some great stories and writers out there.

So, stop the hate and stick together…support each other and your favorite shows to keep them going!

Which brings me back to the main reason for this statement.

We are living in a world, where people are pretty much self-centered and egoistic. And we are living in a world, where bullying becomes worse with every day that goes by.

A lot of people suffer from depression and something like that. And a lot of people feel left alone.

Please, try to be a little me observant…and be kind to one another. Help each other. And listen.

Listen closely, pay attention to the people who are willing to share something with you.

Sometimes it can make all the difference.

If anybody ever needs to talk…or needs somebody to listen…please ask for help.

Life is so very precious, don't throw it away.

Feel free to send me a message on here…or catch me on twitter (theycallmeraven).

So, if somebody feels like talking or something…I promise I will answer as soon as I can. And I also promise to make the time to talk to you!

Have a great Sunday everyone!

Much love,

Raven

I know I said it would be three parts...well, turned out it will be some more xD

The Bet

- Part III

"Henry, what are you talking about? Emma…in love with me? That's absurd."

But Regina could not ignore the jumble her thoughts had become within seconds.

"I know it's a bit weird…but she meant to tell you…that's why she wanted that day with you so bad…because…because she never found the courage to ask you out…" Henry explained what Emma had not dared to say in all this time.

Regina glared at her son in disbelief and shock, frozen to the spot.

She felt like somebody had pulled the rug from under her feet, as if her whole world would fall apart and she did not even know why.

"I think it's sad…because you spent so much time on fighting…and arguing…if you would have given her a chance…well, you might have come to like Emma…like really like her."

That said Henry disappeared to the safety of his room.

Regina was preparing dinner, but she could not really focus on chopping vegetables, because she was confused.

Nothing made sense to her.

Emma Swan was in love with her.

How the hell had that happened?

First Regina had thought that it had to be a joke, but Henry had seemed so sincere and her son would not fool her like this, now would he?

How was is possible that somebody had fallen in love with her at all?

Especially Emma Swan of all people.

She had been nothing, but hard on the blonde. She had treated her like crap since her arrival in town. She had never done anything nice for Emma, had never shown her much respect and yet the blonde had fallen in love with her?

Regina could not wrap her head around that fact and she did not even understand why she actually cared.

Sure, they had spent a truly beautiful day together and Regina had felt very comfortable in Emma's presence, even with the heavy talk, but that had been because she had known that Emma would leave town, right?

Being in Emma's arms had felt surprisingly good and right, she had to admit that and there even had been this one moment when she had thought about kissing the blonde…whoa!

She had what?!

Regina's heart started to beat out of her chest at the sudden realization, because she had never expected that.

Had she really been thinking about that? Or was her brain just messing with her because of Henry's statement about Emma's feelings?

She clearly did not know.

"Mom, you're bleeding!"

Regina jumped at her son's voice and took a look at her hands, just to see the blood running from her left one.

How had that happened? She never cut herself. Not ever.

Henry had talked her into going to the hospital because the cut had been rather deep and now that Regina left the building with her stitched and bandaged hand she was not in the mood to go home.

Her son was staying with Granny anyway, she had dropped him off on her way to see Doctor Whale, so nothing was waiting for her in her mansion.

And that's why Regina decided to stop at the diner - to grab a bite. Doctor's orders because she had lost quite some blood "thanks" to the cut on her palm.

But the second she arrived at the diner and caught sight of Mary Margaret Blanchard, who was sitting on a barstool at the counter, discussing with Ruby Lucas, Regina regretted her decision, but it was too late.

She was already standing in the middle of the room, earning nothing, but blaming stares from all the guests.

Regina was aware that everybody knew that it was her fault that Emma Swan had left town.

And it was.

Obviously it was her fault completely – on every level.

"Madame Mayor! What happened to your hand? Are you okay?" Ruby asked, sounding almost concerned and waved Regina over to the counter.

And since the brunette did not know what else to do she took a seat on the one available barstool, which was unfortunately the one next to Mary Margaret, "I was careless with the kitchen knife."

Ruby and the teacher nodded in understanding and continued their chatter about how Storybrooke needed a new Sheriff, while Regina tried to focus on the menu.

But the truth was that she could not concentrate at all.

All Regina could do was to think about a certain blonde Sheriff, who had left some hours ago.

"So, what can I get you, Madame Mayor?"

Ruby's words had her out of her thoughts in an instant, "I'll take a cheeseburger, fries and a Scotch."

Both, Ruby and Mary Margaret stared at Regina in disbelief, because Regina had never ordered anything else than salad.

A cheeseburger and fries – that was what Emma would have ordered, but Regina?

Never.

And yet that was what the mayor had said.

"Is something wrong?" Regina could not stop herself from asking, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"Everything's fine", Ruby answered quickly and turned to pour Regina a glass of Scotch.

"You know what…make that a double", the mayor stated without giving it a second thought.

Regina was on her third glass of Scotch by the time Ruby brought her burger and fries, but that did not stop the mayor from ordering another one.

The waitress eyed her suspiciously, but Regina ignored her and took a big bite of her cheeseburger, immediately drowning in the sensation of its taste.

Why had she forbidden herself to eat stuff like that? Of course she knew exactly why, but she would not go there today. Cora was a topic for another day.

She had seen Emma eat cheeseburgers for a year and she had always been kind of jealous, because the blonde seemed to enjoy everything she did while Regina was stuck with all her rules and discipline.

And now that Emma was gone she started to feel rebellious? Was it possible that she had ordered a cheeseburger because it reminded her of Emma, because it made her feel closer to the blonde?

What?!

Regina was shocked by her own thoughts, but she could not get rid of them, no matter how hard she tried.

"Are you sure you are okay?" Mary Margaret placed her hand on Regina's arm to get her attention.

Normally Regina would have gotten furious if somebody, especially Mary Margaret, touched her, but today she simply had it not in her anymore. She was worn out, confused and scared.

Scared that she might have made the biggest mistake of her life by forcing Emma Swan to leave town.

To leave town forever.

"I'm…I…it's just…did you…did you know that she….that Emma had feelings for me?"

Regina had to know, she had to sort out her thoughts, but for that she needed answers, needed an explanation.

"I guess pretty much everybody in Storybrooke knows", Ruby stated the obvious and put two more tumblers on the counter, which she filled with Scotch. And without asking she refilled Regina's as well.

"But how is that even possible? And how could I not know?" Regina sounded desperate, but right this moment she did not care. Whether it was the alcohol or her emotional state of mind, she did not know.

"You were too busy hating her and getting her out of town", Mary Margaret commented dryly and took a sip of her glass.

"I don't hate her…I never hated her", Regina tried to defend herself, not sure why she felt the need to do so, "It's just…she's so infuriating…and she…somehow she managed to get under my skin…really get under my skin…even with all my walls…and I did not know how to handle it. And I was so scared that she would take Henry away from me."

Regina was not sure how much more Scotch she had put into her system, but what she knew was that Mary Margaret and Ruby had shared a lot of stories with her over drinking.

Stories about Emma.

Stories she found absolutely endearing.

But why now?

Emma had been right in front of her nose all this time and she had never seen her as anything, but a threat.

And now that she finally realized how lucky she should have been to have Emma Swan in her life, the blonde was gone.

Classy.

Life was showing her once more how much it sucked.

How she would never get something like a happy ending.

Not even close.

To hell with it.

To hell with it all.

"I think I better get going…" Regina slid from the stool, just to realize how dizzy she was.

"You can't drive…just so you know", Ruby announced and took the mayor's car keys away, "You can pick them up tomorrow."

Regina wanted to snap, wanted to bark, but she was aware that she was nowhere near able to drive. She was not even sure if she would be able to make it home on her feet.

Mary Margaret grabbed the mayor's arm in a bold move, "I'll bring her home, don't worry."

It had taken them a while to reach Mifflin Street, simply because Regina had stumbled over her own feet more than once.

Any other day she would have been totally embarrassed that she had acted so graceless and idiotic, but not today.

Today she felt so vulnerable and defenseless that she was actually glad that Mary Margaret had offered to bring her home.

Had hell frozen over?

Once they reached Regina's front door, the mayor leaned against it for support because she felt like fainting, "Th-thank you…Miss Blanchard."

It had been easier to say it than she had expected, but when she saw the pitiful expression on the teacher's face, Regina started to feel uncomfortable again.

"You love her, don't you?" Mary Margaret whispered out of the blue, "You love Emma, but you haven't realized it…till she was gone…"

"Don't be ridiculous. I don't…" but Regina could not continue the sentence, because the truth was she did not know.

Or maybe she knew and was not ready to face it.

And Mary Margaret saw right through her, "You know…you could always find her…and you could bring her back."