Vindicated—Dashboard Confessional
Hope dangles on a string like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out, the shine of it has caught my eye
And roped me in, so mesmerizing and so hypnotizing
I am captivated, I am
Vindicated, I am selfish, I am wrong, I am right
I swear I'm right, swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed but I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore, you saw yourself
PRESENT DAY
"What the hell where you thinking, Fitz?" Mellie turned in her seat to where she was facing Fitz, extending her seat belt to an unsafe position.
"Sit back, Mellie. I won't be responsible for your untimely death if you go flying out of the window."
Mellie huffed as she sat back in her seat. "Why would you even go back to that place? What is your endgame?"
"Mellie…" Fitz warned. His voice dared her to keep up the topic. His eyes were steely grey and set on the interstate before him. He held a white knuckled grip of the steering wheel.
"You still love her, don't you?" Her voice was not accusatory. Mellie was trying to figure out how after four years emptying scotch bottles in one sitting and walking around with a dead glint in his eyes, Fitz would run back to the vulnerable place that ruined him to begin with. And just when he was getting back to his old self.
"Drop it." The last thing he needed was Mellie on his case when he didn't know what was going on himself.
"Fine. I'll drop it. But let me just say this. Think about what you are getting yourself into. I like Liv. I think you two are dynamic together. When you were with her, you were the happiest I had ever seen you in your entire life. It's just that the fallout is catastrophic. Do you really want to go through that again? If you think it is worth it, I will support you two. Even if you fall apart again, you know I will still be here for you. You are a grown man. Make your own decisions. Just think about the consequences."
Fitz nodded and eased up a little bit, realizing her was holding the steering wheel in a death grip. Olivia had given him something he never thought he would ever have—hope. He knew now how bad he hurt her. That much cut his gut and made him want to disappear and never cause any more harm to her beautiful life, but she had given him hope. She gave him an unspoken chance tonight between her hungry kisses. There was a tiny crack in the Berlin Wall that he had forced her to build, and now it was his time to earn her back. All because now he knew for a fact that he could not survive let alone truly live without her.
He drove Mellie home in comfortable silence, and apologized for abandoning her earlier when he dropped her off.
4 YEARS AGO
Olivia hummed mindlessly to a song off of her CD that she kept in her car. She was on her way to Cyrus Beene's house for the first time. She was nervous, because today she would meet the rest of the cast and crew. Actual shooting wouldn't start for four more months, but pre-production was already in action, and the final decisions to go forward with the film had been set in place.
Olivia rolled her window down, and let the wind blow through her hair. She was sure that she had never been so genuinely happy in her entire life. As cliché as it sounded—her dreams were coming true. She was finding her niche in life, and it seemed like the years upon years of hard work was finally paying off.
She thought about the other night, when Fitz had taken her to dinner. He had put his hand on the small of her back, walking out of the restaurant. When he walked her up to her apartment, he rested his hand on her waist as he kissed her cheek goodnight. She thought about his warm breath against her skin when his lips lingered for a split second, as if they were debating to stay. She thought about his playful smirk, when he teased her over wine. The way he ran his fingers through his curly hair made her want to do the same. The way his voice changed when he said Livvie.
Her GPS instructed her to turn off of the road onto a driveway lined with trees. She pulled up to a giant gate, and spoke her name into the intercom. As she drove down the driveway, she couldn't help but think holy shit. Who lives like this?
She pulled her car around the large circular driveway, and parked it. She rang the doorbell of the mansion to have Fitz himself answer it. He was wearing a pair of dark wash jeans and a crisp white button down shirt. His face immediately lit up when saw her.
"You look beautiful." He kissed her cheek and pulled her in for a friendly hug.
"I would have changed, if I knew you were going to steal my look." Olivia joked, noting that she was wearing a simple white sundress with pink flowers at the hem. They matched, coincidentally.
"Hey, now. I was here first." Fitz winked, "Come on in. I'll introduce you to everyone." Fitz led her to a gigantic parlor area, where about twenty five people were gathered. She made her rounds, introducing herself to everyone. She was having a great time getting to know her new co-workers. They all had a great sense of humor and were very welcoming. She noticed Cyrus coming down the stairs.
"Cyrus!"
"Olivia. Nice to see you again." Cyrus gave her halfhearted hug.
"You have an incredible home. I have never seen anything like it. It is incredible."
"Thanks." He nodded, almost curtly "Enjoy yourself."
He caught Fitz's eye and motioned for him to come over to his corner. Olivia took it as her cue to turn back to the group of people she was mingling with before. She couldn't help but overhear every word of their conversation.
"Hollis is going to stop by later. It would make my heart leap with joy if you actually put forth an effort with him. Especially after the big pile of—" Cyrus started.
"I got it." Fitz shot back tersely. Cyrus nodded cautiously, then turned and walked away. Fitz made awkward eye contact with Olivia. He walked over to her with his hands in his pockets.
"I'm an awful co-host. Can I get you anything to drink?" Fitz asked.
Olivia looked around to the guests who were all nursing glasses. "Yes, please." She started to walk towards where an open bar was set up, but Fitz smiled mischievously and gently pulled her away from the crowd.
"Where are you taking me?" Olivia gladly followed. She would follow him anywhere as long as his hand remained wrapped around her arm
"Cyrus's wine cellar. I'll show you your new all-time favorite wine."
He took her through some rooms until they reached a tiny, winding staircase that led down. Fitz helped her down like a gentleman and flipped the light switch for the cellar. Olivia let out a low whistle as she saw the impressive wine collection.
"Are you sure you are allowed to be in here?"
"Relax," Fitz chuckled, "I've been breaking into here since I was a troublesome teenage boy."
"For some reason, that is really easy to imagine." She climbed up onto a stool
Fitz scanned the racks and pulled out a bottle. He grabbed some glasses from a cabinet and poured two glasses for him and Olivia.
"Drink." Fitz ordered playfully. Olivia craned her head to see the label on the bottle, but Fitz hid it behind his back. "Just drink."
Olivia took a slow sip, savoring the exquisite taste. It danced on her tongue like nothing she had ever tasted before. She moaned softly. "Wow."
"Yeah." Fitz grinned at her reaction as he sampled his glass.
"Is this your favorite?"
"One of them."
They drank the wine slowly, silently enjoying it together. Finally Olivia broke the silence.
"Aren't you going to tell me what it is?"
"Isn't the mystery of it appealing?" Fitz said in a slightly seductive voice.
"Maybe." Olivia's eyes darkened as she finished off the remaining wine. "Come here."
Fitz closed the distance between them. Olivia slightly parted her legs, allowing him to stand in between them. She set her glass on the counter behind her and put her hands on his hips, pulling him dangerously close to her. The friction of his jeans on her thigh made her panties wet.
One of her hands went up to graze where his hairline met the back of his neck. She leaned her head back and slightly parted her lips, inviting him to meet her lips. When his lips were a mere centimeters away, and she could feel his breath heavily against hers, she slipped her hand to the bottle he still held behind his back.
"Fitz, this is a $300 bottle of wine."
"Yeah. I know." Fitz said, smiling at her antics, but not retreating. He wanted to savor every moment spent this close to her. "I wanted to share it with someone special."
His last two words made her eyes snap back to his. He took the bottle from her and set in on the counter along with his glass. He took her hands and placed them back on his hips, never breaking eye contact. He took her chin tenderly in his hand and lifted it back up.
Olivia closed her eyes. She felt his other hand circle around the nape of her neck and then the soft pressure of his lips against hers. She let him control the pace of the kiss, keeping it slow. She had never been kissed like this before. It was like he was truly worshiping every centimeter of her lips. He slipped his tongue in between her lips, gently requesting access. His tongue tasted like the wine, driving her insane in the best way possible.
Olivia let one hand rise up his torso to run through his hair. His hand slid down to her back and then further to her ass. Her body felt amazing beneath his touch. She arched her body into him when he palmed her ass lightly. He was sure that she could feel his hardness through his jeans, pressed against her thigh. Their kiss was starting to lose control. When Olivia took his bottom lip in her teeth, he knew he had to stop, or else he would take her right there in the wine cellar.
"Livvie." Fitz breathed as he broke the kiss. They kept their foreheads together and tried to regulate their breathing and erratic heartbeats. It was impossible though. There was an undeniable connection in that kiss that they both felt.
"We should be getting back. People will start to wonder." Olivia made no move to get out of his arms, her words contradicting her heart.
"No." Fitz knew what was waiting him back at the party. Or more like who. "Let's ditch the crowd. Let me show you the whole estate." He gave her a sweet peck on the lips to drive home the proposition.
"Okay." Olivia admitted that the last thing she wanted to do was go back to the crowded parlor after the kiss they just shared. "But let's bring the wine with us."
PRESENT DAY
Olivia twirled carefully and regarded critically herself in the mirror.
"I. Love. It."
Elle Reynolds smiled triumphantly and clapped his hand excitedly.
"I knew you would. It very modern-carefree-take-on-a-Disney-princess-ish. It suits you." She motioned for his assistants to come and take some measurements.
Olivia ran her fingers over the light weight fabric, pulling the fabric away from her and watching it fall back into perfect place. She was standing in a couture evening gown designed by one of her favorite, yet still relatively unknown, designer. She had received offers from everyone from Dior to Prada, but when she saw the sketch that Elle sent to her, she immediately fell in love.
She almost pinched herself to see if she was dreaming, but no. This was the dress she would wear to her first Academy Awards Ceremony. The ceremony she happened to be nominated for best actress at. The dress was layer on layer of soft, peach colored chiffon that flowed with a decent train. The fabric was dreamily swept over her chest with off the shoulder sleeves and a dipping cut in the back that revealed a large portion of her back, while still keeping it elegant. The best part, was that the dress was comfortable. She could actually breathe, while still showing her figure off.
She made eye contact with herself in the 360 degree mirror and tried to wipe the cheesy smile from her face. She felt a whole new level of beautiful.
"What is next?" She asked giving it another girlish twirl for good measure.
"Jewelry." Elle brought out a couple of black brief cases with options sent from Tiffany's & Co. They decided on an elegant but edgy ear cuff with pearls and diamonds placed wistfully on a gold band. The necklace she brought forth made her jaw drop to the floor. They decided on rings and a simple gold chain bracelet. Finally, Olivia stepped into the heels she had chosen for the evening. She stepped from the little pedestal she was on and started to walk around the fitting room. The fabric swooshed around her feet, making it look like she was floating.
"You are a genius. I can already hear the praises of the fashion police the morning after."
"The train is going to look dreamy when you walk up the steps to accept your award." Elle gushed, snapping a Polaroid picture and waving it, waiting for it to develop.
"Don't jinx anything. At the end of the day, I still can't believe I was nominated."
Elle rolled her eyes at Olivia's modesty. "Have you gotten a date yet? He is going to want to dress to you. I think a white dinner jacket would complete this. Or a simple black tux, you can never go wrong with that. It would be adorable if you could get him to accent something to this color like cufflinks or a pocket square."
Olivia let the assistants take her jewelry off and pulled the scrunchie out of her hair that held her hair in a mock updo. "No, I haven't thought that far ahead." She fibbed.
"Girl, the event is a month away! Not that any man wouldn't drop his life just to escort you to this thing." Elle helped her out of the dress and handed her a silk robe to put on for the time being.
"I know, I know. I should probably stop procrastinating that part."
She went over the options in her head. Her father was definitely out of the question. They had a strained relationship ever since she got her acceptance letter from Julliard. He couldn't stand the thought of her not going to his alma mater, Harvard, and getting a law degree. When she graduated from college, he expected her to quit her little "hobby" and go to a "real school" as if Julliard was not an honor. Olivia had given up on trying to make him proud of her, leaving only brief, polite phone calls on Christmas and Easter. She moved down her list. Most of her industry friends were already going to be there.
Now that she thought of it, she didn't really have any close friends. Ever since moving to L.A., she had tunnel-visioned through her work landing role after role and leaving little room for any personal life. This would probably be the highlight of her career and life, so she wanted to share it with someone special. Someone special. The words pricked her like the tip of a needle.
"Fitz, this is a $300 bottle of wine."
"Yeah, I know. I wanted to share it with someone special."
She let out a bitter laugh.
"What was that?" Elle brought her back from her mini day dream.
"Sorry, I was just talking to myself." Olivia shed her robe and started to change into the clothes she came in. They worked out details of the alterations and Olivia left. She was so giddy about finally choosing her gown, but the sinking feeling of knowing that she had do find a date set a foul taste to her mood. She pulled her car into the parking lot of a Whole Foods to do some grocery shopping.
As she shopped for fresh produce, she let her mind entertain the idea of asking Fitz to escort her. For the first time, she let herself think about what went down in Cyrus's apple orchard. As petty as it sounded, physically slapping him was an effective way to release all of the anger she had let simmer over all those years. The frightening part was once she had taken all of her hurt and rage out on him, an emotion she was not prepared for overcame her—desire. She spent so long demonizing him in her mind and making him into an unforgivable monster that she forgot about the palpable connection they shared. She forgot about the simple familiarity of his scent and the security he brought to her. It had been so long since she had felt the burning intensity that a mere look from him ignited in her core.
She felt so childish. Just being with him for fifteen minutes made her want to completely take back all of the time and energy she spent despising him. He had just that much of an impact on her. She wasn't sure if she should run back into his arms and—attempt—to pick up where things fell apart, or if she could stay strong in herself and stay away from him for her own health.
She dropped some apples into her cart and made her way to the checkout. As the cashier rang up her groceries, the magazine rack caught her attention.
PEOPLE MAGAZINE
Our countdown to the Academy Awards and the best dressed competition!
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY
The race to the Oscars ensues! Our predictions on who will take home the little gold man!
Each magazine had a small picture of her on the side margin. The fame was something she would never get used to. Luckily the cashier did not recognize her, and she could pay in peace. Not that her fans were not incredibly flattering, but she knew that for every genuine fan, there was a malicious one. Especially with the internet having such a prominent role in how celebrities were perceived. Wisely keeping her personal life personal and letting her work speak for her had saved her from much of the brutal media.
Olivia thanked the worker and went to load her bags into her car.