Sesshomaru slowly made his way back to the camp to give her time to settle in. He was glad that it was over. Now hopefully that would hold her off for a while and she would quit dreaming about him every night. He watched her wiggle and squirm around for weeks now and almost every night she either said or screamed his name out. He just prayed this was the end of it for a while.
Chapter 3
Two weeks laterRin walked with her companions, completely oblivious to the world. She was quite amazed, when she occasionally slipped back to reality, that she hadn't fallen on her face. She tried to shake away her thoughts, but she only had a couple of days left until her birthday. She only had a couple of days left to choose what she wanted for her birthday.
Rin kept thinking about that beautiful night two weeks ago. She could not have pictured the night better than if Sesshomaru had taken her in his arms himself. Rin was optimistic, obsessively so, but she was also a realist when it came to her lord. She knew that would never happen between them. So that night, was as perfect as it could have gotten.
Her dreams had started to catch back up with her within the last week. She slept peacefully for the first week after it happened. She felt completely satisfied. She somehow felt like he satisfied her himself. However, it only held for a little while. This past week her dreams had started slipping back to their perverted nature, and twice this week, she found herself waking up screaming his name. She knew something had to be done otherwise, this could potentially ruin their relationship.
What was worse than her dreams catching up to her were the looks she caught herself giving her lord. Sometimes she thought about that night, and wherever he was, if he was in eyeshot, she gawked at him. She hungrily undressed him with her eyes now that she had nearly memorized the beautiful contours of his body.
Sesshomaru caught her looking at him hungrily sometimes. He would always send her to find something to eat, or have Jaken take her away from him, or he would simply walk behind them. Giving the excuse that "I don't trust this area. You both are weak and need much supervision." Jaken always tried to disagree, trying to make himself sound powerful enough to defend them all. It was true Jaken wasn't as weak as he looked, but he was certainly not a powerful demon.
Today Sesshomaru walked in front of them. Jaken and Rin believed it was their fearless leader leading them to a destination of sorts. However, for Sesshomaru, he was simply walking up wind so if Rin did start fantasizing about him again, he wouldn't catch her scent.
"Rin." Sesshomaru stopped in his tracks, yanking Rin back to reality.
"Yes my lord?" She said.
"Stay here. Jaken, stay here with her." Sesshomaru said in his silky almost monotone voice.
"My lord!" Jaken cried. "What is it my lord?"
"Inuyasha." Was all Sesshomaru uttered.
"Ooooh! That half-breed nuisance of a brother of yours!" Jaken yelled.
Rin rolled her eyes at Jaken. All of the times Inuyasha had accepted him into his camp and allowed Kagome to fee him. All of the times Inuyasha allowed she and Jaken to travel with them until Sesshomaru showed up to claim them again. All Jaken could do to thank him was curse his name. Rin knew it would not be wise to try and become "friends" with Inuyasha, because of Sesshomaru. However, she couldn't deny that Inuyasha and his friends and been incredibly nice to her over the years. Inuyasha had even protected her a few times. She appreciated him.
She watched Sesshomaru walk away and she sat down on the ground. She looked around the trees for anything of interest. She was incredibly bored now, she always was now when she was alone with Jaken. When she was younger, even though he hated it, Jaken would play with her. Sometimes she did catch him smiling and giggling at her. She knew he had fun with her sometimes. She also knew if she were gone, Jaken would more than likely be lonely. Sesshomaru, while he is a beautiful painting to stare at, he is simply that. A painting, and paintings never talk. They make horrible company.
Rin always prayed she would break him though. She always hoped that she would get him to open up even just a little so that he could either start, or carry on a conversation. That never happened. Over the last few years, he had stayed away from her more. She had lost her "child-like innocence" she imagined, and now she was merely a human woman. She hoped that he would not turn her away one-day. She didn't think she would be able to handle that.
Bored, Jaken tried to start a conversation. "So Rin, did you decide what you wanted for your birthday?"
She sighed some. The more she thought about it, the more she really did want to ask Sesshomaru for just one incredible night. She didn't care if he was soft and gentle, or if he was rough with her like he was with her in her dreams. She assumed being that demon he was, he probably would be a little rough. But that only turned her on. She wasn't for sure why, but she just chalked it up to the fact that that is how she would expect him to be. That is who he is, and she loves him and everything about him, even his rough side.
"No, not yet. I am still considering a few things." She told him.
Jaken just looked at her strangely. "I know how you have been looking at Lord Sesshomaru!" He scolded her. "He would never be with a human! You are beneath him! So don't even think about using your birthday wish for something as selfish and repulsive as being with him! Even once!" He ripped into her and it broke her heart. Jaken of all demons knew exactly what she was thinking about somehow. Little toad. She thought.
"You are ridiculous!" She yelled at him. "You really think I am that stupid? I am thinking about going to the future with Kagome! Or maybe even going to a human village and living!" She quickly covered her mouth with her hand with her last comment. She meant to side step him away from thinking she wanted to be with Sesshomaru, but she didn't mean to blurt out one of the other options she had been thinking about.
"Foolish girl! Just go! No one here would miss you at all! You are nothing more than a stupid human girl! I would love to be with my lord again and not have to worry about the likes of you!" He yelled at her again. What she didn't realize, was that he was hurt that she thought about leaving him. He had kind of grown fond of the girl over the years, but Rin was certain he truly hated her. So she did as she always did. She did exactly what her master told her to.
"Fine Jaken. Goodbye." She stood up and took off running. She ran towards where she saw Sesshomaru walk. She knew she would find Inuyasha and Kagome where Sesshomaru was going. She would go with them and stay at Kaede's village like Kaede had told her so many times she was more than welcome to do.
Rin ran until she could see the border of the woods. She saw flashes of white and red and heard clangs of metal as the two brothers were in war with each other. This was so normal for her to see, that she didn't even pay attention anymore. She looked for Kagome and Sango. There they are! She thought. She mentally made her plan on how to get over there without being trampled by angry demons. Once she figured it out, she quickly made her way to the girls.
"Rin!" Kagome and Sango both shrieked at the same time. They both ran over to her, completely bored and ignoring the battle as well. No one was impressed with them anymore. They knew Sesshomaru could kill Inuyasha if he wanted to, but he just likes to pull rank on him. And they had seen Inuyasha actually succeed in killing Sesshomaru, but the tensaiga brought him back. So they knew this was a battle that would never end. They would never kill each other. Two sisters pulling each other's hair was about the equivalent to this violence taking place currently.
"Kagome! Sango!" Rin yelped when she reached them.
"How are you Rin?" Sango asked their young friend.
Rin sighed. "Not really, is there any way that I can come with you guys?" She blushed and bit her lip afraid of their answer.
"Rin what is wrong?" Kagome asked concerned.
"I just don't think that I can be with Sesshomaru anymore." She grabbed them both by the arm and pulled them further away from the monk and the fox. "It's just I'm getting older and…" She trailed off and looked at them both as she turned redder by the second.
Sango and Kagome looked at each other and giggled. "I think we understand." Sango said. "So did something happen between you two?"
"No! No, not at all." Rin corrected Sango quickly. "It's just, I can't help but notice him now, and I have been having… dreams." She quickly looked down at the ground.
"What!" Kagome shrieked. "What kind of dreams?" She elbowed Rin picking on her trying to make her feel better. It obviously wasn't working because Rin felt guilty and awful like she betrayed her lord.
"Rin," Sango began noticing Rin's obvious guilt. "this is all perfectly normal. You are getting older, and Sesshomaru is the only man you have ever really been around. He probably already knows Rin, you should just talk to him about it."
Rin shook her head. "I know what would happen, and I know what he would say. I know he cares about me, but not like that. Never like that. I don't think I could take his disappointment in me. I would rather just save us both and leave. I will use this as my birthday wish."
Sango and Kagome both got a sad look on their face realizing she was about to use the only gift Sesshomaru had ever given her, to leave him. Simply because she didn't want to hurt him. It broke their hearts, they could only imagine what she felt like.
"Rin." She froze at the voice that said her name. She closed her eyes and looked down at the ground as she turned her body to face him.
"Yes Lord Sesshomaru?" She said.
"I told you to stay with Jaken." He said partly scolding her. She looked back at Kagome and Sango. Then she looked at the ground and back up to her lord.
"Lord Sesshomaru, I figured out what I want for my birthday wish." She told him fighting back tears.
He narrowed his eyes at her, having a feeling he knew what was coming. "Yes Rin?"
"I wish freedom." She said, knowing she didn't word it right as soon as it spewed from her mouth.
"Freedom Rin? You think I cage you? I have always told you Rin, follow me if you so choose." He stared at her a moment, making her uncomfortable.
"My lord, I didn't mean to say it that way. What I meant by freedom, is that I wish to have the freedom to make my own decisions. I wish to go and do whatever, and have whatever and whoever makes me happy . However, I only want this, if it comes with your blessing. I love you and I don't ever want you upset with me. I couldn't bear not having your companionship. But I am grown now, and I have needs of my own now." A tear slid down her cheek.
Sesshomaru looked at her. He was upset, but he understood. "Fine Rin. Do as you wish. You may come and go as you please. You may do as you please, whatever that may be. But be well aware, I am not going to keep track of you now. If you get into trouble, I will more than likely not be there to save you. Your decisions are your own from now on, and any consequences of those decisions are also your own. Do you understand and agree?"
She was very happy, but very upset. She was upset he wouldn't come save her anymore, but she understood that whatever the gift was that he would give her, it would obviously come with conditions.
"Yes my lord. I understand. Thank you!" She couldn't help but run up to him and hold him. She held him tightly and savored the feel of his body, just in case it was the last time she saw him or had the chance to touch him.
"What will your first decision be with your new freedom Rin?" Sango asked.
"If Kagome's offer is still open, I would like to go to the future with her for a little while." Rin looked up at Sesshomaru. He looked down at her and nodded. Letting her know it truly was all right. She was free now. He never hugged her back, but she knew he cared and was ok because he let her hold him. He broke away from her and looked at Inuyasha. He gave him a 'look' and Inuyasha, though he hated his older half-brother, knew his meaning. He was to watch over Rin in her journeys.
"Rin." Sesshomaru simply said her name as he turned and walked away from her.
Rin sighed in relief. Now she would have time to think about the way she felt about Sesshomaru, and sort things out. Staying in a human village, she might have a chance now to fall in love with a human. To fall in love with someone who will actually love her back and let her know so. With every moment of sadness, she had a moment of happiness. With every moment of happiness, she had a moment of sadness. I think I will be ok now. She thought to herself. She was over all, content.
-A/N-
I know that this chapter was a little depressing compared to the last one. But it was necessary to get my story the way I wanted it. However I don't want to give anything away. But her birthday wish will absolutely bite Sesshomaru in the ass in the most interesting way. So I will try to write and post the next chapter as soon as possible! So keep watching for the next chapter and keep reading!
Also, thank you to those of you who reviewed! That meant so much! I really appreciate it!