Hello there ! So here is Chapter 3 ! I really enjoyed writting it, I love seeing Vera's character growing up in this story and I love the way it's going. I hope you do too ! I want to thank you again for your comments, it's very encouraging. I love knowing that all of you are loving it, and that you can't wait to see in which level she will be send, or which person she likes in Thomas' band... haha I won't give anything away now, just keep reading. But you'll start having your answers in the next chapter.
Thank you for following, enjoy this chapter !
Have a lovely time !
xunxknownx
Chapter 3 : For if dreams die.
I enter a building made with white and dark marble. The stone is shining. The inside of the establishment is clean, very simple and classic. No plants, no trees, nothing else than marble and a desk. The transparent large desk is standing in front of me. One man is behind it. He is starring at me. His pink pupil peer me, which makes me feel unconfortable.
Once I stand right in front of him, I announce my name, saying I have an apointment with Ava Paige. He looks at me, curious.
"I never saw you before" he says. And I nod. "Do you know Madame Paige ?" he asks with an awkward smile.
"No." I briefly answer.
He snaps a button and wait. When a tall woman, dressed in a white suit, walk towards me, he addresses me a couple of words that I don't understand.
When I am in the elevator, still thinking about those words, I finally understand them. He whispered "Good luck.".
I step outside the grey elevator and walk through a large white corridor. There is no flaws, no scratch. It's all perfectly white. The woman with red hair keeps walking, as a robot, straight in front of her. She doesn't speak to me, she does not look around. She opens a door decorated with small red flowers that I've never seen before. I look at them and wonder what they are. But I quickly recover and take my one and only confident look. I breathe in and out, picture the air spilling in my lungs, I straighten myself which makes me look way taller than I was when I entered this building. I close my eyes for a second and remember why I am here. I review every single thought that drove me here.
I know deep inside that I need to do this. For me and for them.
"Ava Paige, it's a pleasure to meet you Vera" says a womanly voice. Ava Paige holds her right hand in front of her, towards me. I look at it and end up tightening this sweaty hand. I discover an old face, marked with tiredness and idleness. Her blue eyes are almost hidden by her dark circles. Her skin is as white as the walls of her office. A red suit is clumsily disposed all over her body. She tried to accord her jewerly with her outfit. But it's a failure.
"The pleasure is mine" I answer politely, smiling back at this awfull person. I know my eyes are throwing knives at her, but I can't help it. When I look at this woman I keep remembering the faces of thousands of people, innocent childrens, women or men she tortured, forced to go to the Maze. The thousands that she probably got killed.
"Have a sit" she says calmly, pointing a large creamy sofa with her long fingers.
I do as I'm told and sit on the divine and confortable sofa. I look on my right side, I am attracted by a large flower vase made in a blue coloured glass. It contains the same flowers that were around the main door.
I feel the bottom of my dress touching my knees. The top is almost strangling me, but I don't care. I stand straight, head up, shoulders away from my ears, eyes right in front of me, I don't stop starring at her. I want to appear strong, I want her to take me seriously.
"I believe there must be a reason why you insisted on meeting me" she says.
"Of course." I say and add "You know my parents obviously ?".
"Yes" she answers while sitting back on her chair, behind a large desk made in glass.
"I work with them every day. And they obey to me, they're very" she hesitates and continues "they're hard workers." she ends up saying.
She pulls on her tiny white dress to make it go down. With her left hand she replaces some stands of hair. Her blue eyes are looking behind me, trough me, as if I wasn't here, which annoys me. This woman doesn't impress me that much after all. She's tiny, fat, doesn't know how to dress well, her room isn't clean. But I must admit that the view this room offers is breathless. It gives me the confidence I need to take such decisions.
"I want you to send me in the Maze" I briefly say in a grave voice.
She breathes in so fast that I can see her chest going up, her muscles in her neck contracting and her face tensing.
"What ?" she asks scraping her throat.
"You heard me" I say. I'm being carefull not to move any part of my body, so that I don't let any feeling appear.
"I have no reason to send you there." she says looking on her left side while raising herself up. She stands in front of me, looking at me from above, probably thinking that it will impress me. But it does not.
"My father was killed in the center. My mother got pregnant in the center. I'm one of the center's child. I do not belong here, on earth among your kind." I say articulating every words.
"Why do you want to be send in the Maze ?" she asks turning around. She's now looking at the view her windows offer. I'm facing her back. It destabilizes me.
"I'd rather die among people who are killing to survive than die among people who are killing to divert." I say with a clear and strong voice.
"You have some nerve for a girl your age" she says turning around, looking at me, surprised by my fortitude.
"You must have some nerve to decide whether or not to murder an innocent and ignorent human being" I say tightening my teeth.
She smiles at me.
"You won't last long there, in the Maze" she says.
"Well, we'll see" I say.
"We will in fact." she concludes. Now I know, she made her will send me to the Maze. Convincing her wasn't that dificult, facing her wasn't that dificult either. But what will happen to me won't be easy. I can feel it already.
"As every kid who has, and will be send to the Maze, you will recieve a formation. You will stay in an establishment among other kids, teenagers, adults. You will stay here for a week. After that your memory will be erased and you will be thrown into the Maze. After a couple of days, you will remember your name, and only your name. You will have the same percentage of chances to survive as others, which is 30%. If the watchers of the serie like you, get attached to you, your percentage will improve, if not, it won't and you'll get killed on our command."
"Where will I be send in the Maze ? In which level ?" I ask interrupting her.
"I don't know yet, it will depend on your abilities, on your capacities that we will evaluate during your one week formation. But don't expect to be send with Thomas and his band. They are becoming out of hand and we don't like that. They are a situation we're trying to handle." she says, pleating her yes.
She's worried. Are there any chances that they represent a threat ?
Dear diary
That day I felt wings in my back. I felt like I finally did something good for me and for others. I was determined. I knew I would make a change, help them realize what this is all about. But I didn't know how long it will take to get there.
I spent a week training, meeting people, making friends in this weird establishment. We were all talking about where we were heading. We were all diferent but we all had something in common, we had anger, we had the envy to change the rules of the game. But we also, were all aware that our memories would be erased. So we knew we would end up just like everyone else. We would get lost in the game, we would kill to survive and die because we fell in love with the wrong person or because we made a wrong decision.
In this securised building, we were taught how to fight, how tu run, how to cook, how to clean, how to build, how to think. I took extra classes to learn how to survive on my own, I learned different languages. Time passed to quickly in that establishment. The final day was arriving at big steps.
And I am not going to lie, I was afraid, truly afraid. I could feel it in my body. Sometimes when I would think about the Maze I would start shaking. And I couldn't control it.
Two days before our departure, Aya and I were in a big croud, standing. That's when she came out. Her blond fake hair came out of the room above us. She was standing on a balcony, looking at every single one of us, remembering our faces probably. She was standing tall, with a contemptuous look. There she was, Ava Paige.
"My dear" she started. Aya took my hand and squeezed it. This woman was frightening her. She was frightening most of the people in this room, but not me. The croud was assembled in the center of a room. We were surrounded by men, wearing dark blue suits and weapons. The cieling was far from us, white, without a scratch. Everything seemed to have been made to frighten us. But at that very moment I wasn't feeling any fear, at all. My rage and curiosity were so intense.
"I am thankfull that you" she continued.
"That you have volunteered to participate to the game. I believe in every single one of you. I believe in your strength, your mental health, your abilities. You will, hopefully, all survive." she said smiling, knowing that this was just a lie. She hoped we would all die.
"You will get ready to depart tonight." she said.
The croud started talking, whispering at first but it became louder. We were supposed to leave in two days only. We all guessed something might have happened, something they didn't like. Something got out of control. And without having to say it, just by looking in each others eyes, we knew, they were scared.
But I knew what made them so afraid.
Thomas' band was finally starting to understand what was going on. They were a real threat.
"Vera?" asks a tiny voice next to me. I look at Aya. Her blue eyes are wide open, her small white face is marked by tension. Her ginger hair are laying down on her shoulders, she is wearing a brown suit, with brown boots. Her bright natural pink lips are trying to force a smile. She is the cutest being I have ever seen. The most innocent as well.
"Yes ?" I answer.
"Do you know why we must leave this soon ?" she asks raising both of her arms toward me. I grabb her in my arms and hold her on my right side. I can feel her breath in my hair.
"No sweety, I don't. But maybe Miss Paige will tell us why." I say.
A man in the crowd, who isn't older than 40 years old, raises his arm and yells. "Why do we have to leave so soon ?"
"You don't need to know why Sir." Ava Paige says and I can notice the fear in her voice. Nothing is happening the way she planned.
The tall and muscular man laughs. Everyone in the crowd shut up. We all look at this man, worried. And time seems to stop. Everything is quiet. No one moves, no one talks.
The man puts both of his arms around him, in the air, and he turns around. He looks at us, in our eyes. He takes the time to thank us, only by looking at us in the eyes When he looks at me, I can see the fear and the sadness. He only knows both of this feelings. It's like he forgot what it was like to live, to love and to be happy.
We all notice his eyes, filled with tears.
"I had a daughter once." he starts saying. He nods, not knowing why. All eyes on him, he keeps talking.
"She was your age" he says pointing at Aya. My heart stops and breaks a little. "She was so beautiful !" his voice smashes and his mouth winces. He is holding a sob. "With her grey eyes and tanned skin. She was so small, so tiny. I remember the first day she came on earth, when her mother gave her life for her. I could hold her in my hand. She was mine, she was my baby. I loved her with all my heart and I always will. She was my treasure, my gold, my happiness." he says crying.
"Her name was Pola. She was 6 years old." he stops, waits. When he sees the guardians holding to their weapons, and marching towards him, he hurries. And raising his voice, after taking a deep breath and pointing at Ava Paige, he says "But this monster killed her, in front of my fucking eyes ! She was only 6 years old for god's sake ! I hate you and all of your fucking games ! One day you will die, you will pay for everything that you've done to us. And I hope this day will come soon. I won't be here to see it, but I know you'll die suffering, in pain. Paying for the harm you did to my daughter, to Pola. My one and only true reason to live. I won't ever forget that moment, when I saw her, out of breath, reaching for my help. But I couldn't do a thing. Her throat around a fucking rope. This monster got her hangged." he stops again, looks around him one last time. He yells "YOU WILL BURN IN HELL YOU BITCH" and with a calmer voice he adds "For Pola, for me, for my wife, my family, fight. Please, all of you, fight for us. So that our death won't be pointless." and he pulls the trigger. His brain blows off. Aya and other childrens scream. Their eyes are wide open, their mouth as well. Their faces are marked by revulsion and misunderstanding. They are too young to know what this means. They are way too young to see this.
In a reflex, as if she was my sister, I put my hand on her eyes, hide the view of the man's dead body from her. He's laying on the ground. He is not moving, his face is deformed, the bullet destroyed his eyes. All I can see is blood and some pieces of brown hair and white skin, mixed, spreading on the white ground.
The guardians are now around him, they put a bullet in his heart to make sure he's dead, as if he had any chance to still be alive. The detonation resonates in my body.
The crowd is silent and motionless.
I then look above, on the blacony, there's no one. Ava Paige is gone. When did she leave ? It's a mystery.
The guardians wrap the dead body in a dark blanket. They raise him up and walk. They dissapear behind another white wall, carrying with them the man's corpse and soul. We all look at the scene, surprised. We don't know what to think, what to say. I guess that everyone is feeling as I feel. His last few words are wandering in my brain. "Her throat around a fucking rope. This monster got her hangged.". I see his face's expression again. I see his pain, I almost feel his pain.
Aya clamps me with all her strength. Her head is burried between my neck and my shoulder. I feel her tears rolling down on my skin, leaving traces of water on my brown suit. I pass my hand in her ginger hair while I close my eyes. I try to chase the picture of the dead body.
"Go back to your room. You will have your training at 2 p.m. as always." screams a guardian. We obey and we start ranking in lines.
With Aya in my arms, I walk, heading toward our dormitory. I finally enter a dirty room. Beds are arranged in a line, against the wall full of mark and writtings. People wrote their names, dates, poems on it, trying to pass time.
I lay Aya on her fragile bed. I overlay a blanket on her skinny body. She curls herself, holds her legs in her arms and squeezes them. I lay next to her, above the blanket. I take her in my arms.
"You will be fine" I whisper in her ears. "I'll look after you." I add.
"You won't even remember me" she says crying.
"How could I forget such a beautiful person, with such beautiful hair." I say while I pass my hand on them once again, styling them. She unwinds, slightly. I can smell her natural fruity perfume. I can't describe it, it smells like nature, woods.
We stay like this for a hour. Aya falls asleep, and I look at her. I see her chest going up and down. I focus on her breathing. Her small hands are hanging my arms.
"Her throat around a fucking rope. This monster got her hangged". I run, and run, faster and faster. But it keeps chasing me. I scream. I am so afraid. I don't know what is happening to me. Why is it so dark ? Where am I ? I manage to hide behind a piece of plastic. Head in my hands, I swing my body from left to right. What is going on ?
"HELP ME" screams a child voice. I unbend my head, I open my eyes and try to see something. I try to follow the voice I heard. I walk between cars, old cars, I hear awkward noises. I don't recognize them at first, but then they become clearer. People are whispering. "Be carefull."
"Vera" they are now screaming my name. "RUN VERA, RUN" their screams are so loud. I can't see them, I can't see around me, but I obey, as always. I run, again and again, until I am out of breath.
I wake up, in tears and out of print. I look around me and see the dormitory.
"It was just a dream" I whisper to myself. Aya is still in my arms, asleep. I breathe slowly, trying to find my balance, my coolness.
The alarm rings, it awakes Aya. I look at her, and as I did everytime before our training, I grab her face in my hands.
"It's time to get smarter" I say.
"Are we leaving tonight ?" she asks with a sleepy voice. I nod. I am glad she forgot what she saw this morning.
"Are you ready to go ?" I ask.
"Are you ?" she asks back. I don't answer to her. I take her to her first class. As she is only a 6 year old child, they teach her some medicine, some plants usefulness. They don't force her to learn how to fight, or how to shoot, which I'm thankfull for. Once I drop her in front of one of those many silvered doors, I step outside and join my class.
All of us are lined up, straight, with our hands behind our back. We look right in front of us. They dispose guns on the ground, to our feet. One woman looks at those guns, she moves her face. The soldier sees it and hit her in the belly with one of the gun. This action makes me jump. But no one sees it.
"Grab your gun" he yells from the inside of a tiny shanty. We obey. I never thought a gun was that heavy. I try to hold it the best I can. But I drop it. Afraid, I look at the soldier. He is wearing a black suit and a white cap. He looks at me.
I don't move, I stay tall and assume that I dropped it. He walks by me. When he stands in front of me, I can smell his disgusting perfume. I guess it was very expensive.
"I said grab your gun" he repeats, just so that everyone around me can hear him. I lower myself down and grab the heavy gun. I hardly can hold it, but I don't give up.
The soldier stays in front of me, he doesn't stop starring at me. His eyes plunged in mine. He hates me, he despises me. I look back at him, support his eye look.
When he notices this, he smiles. It is a nasty smile.
"Now shoot the target that is in front of you" he says, staying in front of me.
I look behind him and I notice the target. Far from me. He doesn't move, knowing that this way, he will be an obstacle for me.
I tighten up my embrace around the gun, I lift it up. It passes between the soldier's neck and shoulder. I be carefull not to touch him.
I give him one last gaze. He screams "Shoot !" loudly. His scream resounds in my ear. But as he orders I shoot. And as planned, I miss my target.
He turns around, look at my target and whispers "You missed it." He turns right back at me. His eyes are filled with an emotion I can't describe. An emotion I've never seen before.
He snatches the gun from my hands and he kicks me in the face. I instantly fall on the ground. I feel the pain, spreading from my cheek to my brain. I feel a shock in my hands, legs and heart. He hits me one more time with his feet in my belly. I cough loudly. I try to breathe but I can't. I feel a fist inside my chest. My eyes hurt, my body feels so weak, the pain is too intense. I never felt that in my entire life.
I manage to see the soldier squatting. He looks at me, and smiling he says "I hope you'll die there.". He gives me another blow in my belly. I jump, my body squeezes itself, I turn around, bring all of my body weight on one side. This position allows me to reduce the physical ache I am enduring in every part of my body.
"Next time you'll have a crazier idea, like joining the Maze, remember this moment. You are nothing, you are weak and vulnerable." he says.
My body can't hold the soreness any longer so I faint.
When I manage to open my eyes, I notice all the white around me. It agresses me, so I close back my eyes. I focus on my feelings. My belly hurts me so badly. I feel myself drifting away. I feel the weakness that took possession of me. The soldier was right. I am no one. What was I thinking ? That I would make a difference ? I have nothing more than the people here. My memory will be erased, I will forget everything, everyone. And I'll die, trying to survive. If I can't even shoot a standstill target, how will I shoot a moving creature ?
The fear invades me.
"Vera ?" asks someone. I open my eyes, well, at least I try. I open it once but it's still too hard.
"It's okay, don't force yourself. As long as you can hear me, it's fine." she says.
"Who are you ?" I mutter.
"You don't need to know that." she says while grabbing my hand. She holds it softly. I don't recognize this voice.
"You never should've come here, you know that." she says.
"But now, you can't go back. You will be send in the Maze in 30 minutes. You've been unconscious for the whole afternoon. This soldier didn't go easy on you. I'm so sorry" she says crying.
In 30 minutes ? I need to see Aya, I need to talk to her, I need to reassure her, to hide her somewhere. She can not be send in the Maze.
"Aya ?" I moan.
"What ?" the woman doesn't understand what I say, what I'm desperatly trying to say. Since I don't have any strength, when I try to say her name again, I fail. The woman keeps talking. I don't understand much. I am just so afraid of leaving. I need to see my parents, to see Aya. I need to wake up from this nightmare. This can not be real, this can not be true.
I panic. But with my eyes closed, with my muscles destroyed, I can't escape. I hear more voices around me.
"Get out" a man screams to someone.
"Get her to the main room. It's time we send her." he says.
"NO" my head screams. "Don't send me there." I think I am crying, but I am not. I didn't speak at all. My body doesn't respond to my brain anymore.
I see lights above me, walls around me. Then I see darkness, tissus around me. I feel water, warm water on my legs. I feel a cream on my face, a substance being spread all over my body. It's sticky.
All I can think of is Aya. I don't want her to be afraid, I don't want her to be scared. She's only just a child, you can't hurt her. My mind keeps focusing on her. I think I pray, I pray for her, for her life. I pray for her innocence.
I vow to myself that I have to find her once I'm in the Maze. I need to find Aya. "Never ever foget her, her ginger hair, her smile, her eyes, her voice, her breath. Remember" I repeat to myself quietly. "Don't forget." I say over and over again.
I feel a needle in my left arm, on my right leg, in my neck. And I can hear Ava Paige's voice.
"Wicked is good" she says. Her words don't distract me at all.
"Aya, Aya" I say. "Find Aya".
And all I can see is dark. It's all dark. I don't feel a thing. I am not me, I am no one. Everything dies around me and inside me.
"Wicked is good" and "Find Aya" or "Ginger hair" are the only things that I hear.
For a moment, I feel my body floating in the air. "Gravity" I think. But I don't know why. Nothing makes sense. I then feel my body being attracted by something powerfull. My mind leaves me, my brain stops thinking.
"AYA" I scream before everything else dissapear.