Sorry it took me such a long time! But I've been so caught up with being pregnant and all that good stuff. Not a good excuse, I know. But there is so much to be done! OK, so if anyone hasn't read "Hymn Of a Heart", you really should. It's great story.
And I wish they would make a bigger fanbase for "The Host".
How sad. Anywho, R&R.

Shame.

I didn't need my gift to understand how Bella was feeling as she slowly made her way down the stairs. Edward walked patiently beside her, a smile plastered to his face. Bella looked up, caught sight of the anger slowly growing in my eyes, and strained a little bit. I knew what she was doing, and I could almost feel her shield cover me like a thin sheet.

I should have been thankful for the help. I've been struggling to keep my mind on other things, but now I felt free to think about everything I wanted. The one image that quickly swept over me was Bella's small, perfect body under mine. Yes, I was definitely thankful to her shield right about now. Being able to think was like a breath of fresh air.

"You feeling, okay, Jasper?" Edward's voice intruded my breath of fresh air. It frustrated me that he would notice so quickly.

"Fine," I answered. "Why?"

"You just seem tense," Edward shrugged and pulled Bella tightly to his side, then turned to face her. The adoring look in his eyes irritated me. "Bella, love, I have to make a quick run to the Auto Parts Store in town. Somethings wrong with the Volvo, and Rosalie is going to look at it tonight."

"Okay," she nodded and returned the adoring stare. Ouch. "I'll stay here with Renesmee."

"I'll hurry back," he said, flitting to the drawer next to the front windows. He pulled out a set of car keys, and back tracked to Bella. "We can take Renesmee hunting when she wakes up." He kissed Bella's cheek and left quickly.

I watched Bella carefully after I heard Edward start the car. She didn't move from the spot he left her in. Even when she was still as a statue, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I wasn't sure how I'd been able to stand being away from her for the past few hours. She looked so composed, closed off and secretive. Inside, I smiled. I know now what it looks like when Bella comes undone. There would never be something so beautiful.

It was difficult to notice, but I felt the shield release me, and Bella finally turned to look at me. He amber eyes were suddenly more indestructible as her shield. I couldn't see any emotion beyond the dull red of her pupils. I was sure she caught my confusion, read it on my face. But she did nothing to act on it.

She turned her back and walked quickly up the stairs. There was a stab in my heart for just a second before I realized what she walked away from.

"Jasper?"

I didn't even have to turn to recognize Alice's wind chime voice. I was beginning to be feel completely and utterly grateful to Bella. Alice, no doubt, would have caught onto something if she seen the way I was looking at her best friend, "Yes, Alice?" I turned around and gave her my best smile.

"Jasper, is everything alright?" she asked. "You've been very tense today."

Her eyes were warm with concern and love, something that I didn't deserve from her. She had been trying to make me happy for such a long time. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't be experiencing such a strong mixture of love, lust, desire and adrenaline. Somewhere in there was a pinch of guilt. But it wasn't as strong as what I had anticipated on the way home.

"I've just been putting off hunting for too long. I'm pushing my thirst again," I sighed. It was true, but that wasn't why I'd been acting strange. Maybe my acting skills were falling down the ranks, equal to how horrible Bella was when she was still human. It took too much strength to keep a smile off my face when her name came to mind.

Alice held her hand out to me, "Let's go hunting then. I've been pushing it, too."

Our hunt wasn't long, but it was helpful. From the look on Bella's face, I was sure she was contemplating alot. She was a married woman, and a mother. Her shame was too clear, and it affected me, too. Normally I was attracted to her every mood swing. Everything about her was so joyful, and so happy. Sometimes she was blissfully unaware of how truely wonderful her aura was. Edward noticed, but he didn't over analyze anything like he usually did.

Alice and I blurred through the trees, while I searched for any sign of Edward being home. It didn't take long to hear his and Bella's laughter mingling together in their bedroom. Renesmee's shrill voice joined in. Quickly, I put my mind on auto-pilot, keeping any thought of Bella out of my head. The only way to do so was to concentrate on being completely emotionless. To help, I focused on Alice.

"Have you noticed anything different about Bella, lately?" Alice whispered. We were nearing the house, and Bella's hearing was still slightly in the newborn stage, and she could hear more than everyone else in the house. I glanced at Alice, and my brow knitted together.

"No, I haven't seen anything," I looked away, watching every detail on every tree that flew past us. "I haven't been paying much attention. What have you noticed?"

"I'm not sure if it's because of Renesmee obscuring my vision, but I keep seeing her leave," her voice began to rise near the end, trying to stay calm. It hurt me to hear her like this.

"What do you mean 'leaving'?" I asked her. A pang of guilt squashed me. I never thought about the pain it would cause the rest of our family.

"As in packing her things, leaving Edward, leaving Renesmee. . . Leaving the family," now her voice was shaking. "I can't see for how long she'll be gone, and I don't think that's a good sign. It might mean she won't come back at all. Jasper, why is she debating on this? Why would she even -"

I stopped dead in my track and yanked Alice roughly into my arms. I knew the reason, and it wasn't something I was excited to think about. I didn't even need to question her reason, but there was no limit to how much I wished I could. How could she leave everything? Edward? Renesmee? Carlisle and Esme who have adopted her to the family, Rose and Emmett and her best friend Alice? Just to be away from me.

Without even trying, Bella tore me inside out. I'd never felt like this before. It's been almost twenty four hours, and Bella has already put me through the ringer with new emotions. So much more than Alice has ever shown me. So much lust, passion, excitement and love I had for Bella, yet now a new feeling jumped into my insane river of flooded emotions; hate.

I hated her for being able to hurt me when I was supposed indestructible, when I had no heart to feel with. Sure, there was always something there for Alice. She brought joy into my life, brought me hope. But no one had brought on such a riptide of feelings the way Bella had. There was no mistaking love when one stumbled upon it.

My hand made circles on Alice's small back while she breathed deeply into my chest. I tried not to feel her rush of torment. She was confused, hurt, and broken. Alice and Bella had become so close over the years. Even before Alice talked to her, they were best friends. She had been so eager to meet her, and so angry would Edward wouldn't allow it. I sighed softly and kissed her forehead. Guilt was giving me a real kick right now.

Could I really keep betraying the one responsible for my happiness? No, I couldn't.

Suddenly, I knew why Bella was so quiet, filled with shame today. What I was feeling now was what she was feeling when she came home to her waiting husband - to her daughter. This is what she was going through earlier, and I joined her in shame. Not only was I betraying the small girl in my arms, but I was hurting my unknowing family. My brother. Edward had waited so many years to find Bella. Who was I to take that from him? Bella, being in the same state of mind, will understand what her and I both have to do now.

It's been six days sense Bella and I had spoken a word to each other. She had been keeping herself busy with Renesmee and pleasing Edward. She was more careful with her shield now. Much smarter in her ways of going about it.

"Bella?" Edward asked her just two days ago.

Bella, being busy with Renesmee and Rosalie, turned and faked a smile at her husband. I wasn't but a few feet away, and I could taste her nervousness. "Yes?"

"Is there a reason your using your shield on Jasper and Rosalie?" he asked. He tucked his hands into his pockets and leaned down to level with her, a smile on his face. I was shocked that Bella didn't break under his curious look. My own hands were trembling with her fear.

"Of course there is," Bella kissed Renesmee's cheek, and stood to face Edward. Rosalie also perked up, wondering why Bella was protecting anyone but herself. "Like you said, the Volturi will come back someday and attempt to pluck us off, one by one. And when that day comes, I would like to be prepared."

"How is this helping?" his eyes narrowed.

"Do you remember the last time they came? How I could only protect everyone if we were bunched up, not fighting, and not separated?" Bella asked, wrapping her arms around Edward.

He nodded, still confused.

"Well, if I were to ever have to fight, I would like to be able to use my shield on others while I'm distracted. And I've been testing my distance," she smiled a small, seductive smile. Ah, trying to distract him with subtle seduction. Bella was becoming a great actress, much to my surprise. "I think I've been doing pretty good with it."

Edward bought it, a smile quick to brighten his face, "Really? How far can you go?" he brushed his hand through her hair. I hoped she was still using her shield, because I didn't want Edward to hint onto my jab of jealousy.

"So far, I can hold the shield on two separate people when I'm two hundred feet away. Any further than that, and it snaps," Bella frowned a little.

Edward no longer questioned her, neither did anyone else. From what I could feel of my family, everyone was satisfied for their temporary privacy. Especially Rosalie and Emmett.

"So whose going hunting today?" Carlisle asked, Esme smiling by his side.

"Where are you headed?" Emmett looked away from the television, hope written all over his face. I still didn't understand his need for angry bears. Such bitterness should have worn off by now.

"Not too far from here, there's an overpopulation of mountain lions and black bears, but I don't think there are any grizzlies, Emmett," Carlisle smiled. "There have been alot of complaints from humans. Car wrecks, people getting mauled, and animal control gets over thirty complaints a day from annoyed homeowners. Seems they have to keep their trash indoors now."

Alice chuckled.

Emmett considered for a moment, then shrugged, "I'm up for it. How about you, baby?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes, "Why not? I'm getting a little tired of elk." Her face scrunched up.

"I think I'll go, Carlisle," Alice chimed, then laughed a little. "And Edward, too."

Apparently Edward wasn't aware of this, "I am?"

"You'll see," Alice nodded toward the staircase.

We all waited, not knowing what to expect, until Renesmee fluttered down in record time, "Daddy, take me!"

Everyone flinched. Renesmee has not been taken on a hunting trip yet. Not one like this, at least. The human blood in her was considered a high risk to us all. Letting go of our control with such a scent around could put her in danger. Renesmee's face scrunched with impatience.

"I won't get in the way," she crossed her arms and buffed her chest out. She'd been hanging around Rose and Emmett too much. "Jacob takes me all the time. Please?"

"Just say yes, Edward," Alice sighed. "It's already set. She's very determined to go."

Edward looked pained, but nodded his head, "Alright, Renesmee. But you stick by me, okay? You stay in my sight at all times."

Renesmee rolled her eyes, but agreed and jumped up into his arms, "Is mommy coming?"

"No, she has to see grandpa today," Edward explained to the small girl in his arms.

Where was the shield when you needed it? I thought of things that I should do while they went hunting, but came up with nothing. It didn't seem to matter much. My eyes were still very much golden. I had just hunted two days ago, and wasn't in need for another trip.

"Staying home, Jasper?" Esme asked.

"Yeah, I think I'm okay for now," I leaned against the post on the staircase. "I'll go on the next trip."

"Alright," Edward shrugged, then set gestured for Renesmee to climb onto his back. She complied and hugged his neck in a tight hold. "We'll be back in two days, at the most. Keep an eye on Bella for me."

More guilt. But Edward didn't have a chance to hear anything in my head. They were already gone. My mind was already racing with the idea of being alone with Bella. It was hard to get myself under control; I knew nothing like that was ever going to happen between us again. She has her mind set, and I was trying to do the same with myself.

Just a talk would be good for now, and I could hear her upstairs, breathing very slowly, as if to listen to anything I was going to do. She knew we were alone, and she couldn't decide on what to do with herself. If she was trying to leave, then I would have to stop her. Bella was fast, but I could catch up with her. I wanted to avoid this talk as much as she did. Neither of us like anything to be so final.

I pushed myself away from the post, an heard Bella's breathing come to a complete halt. Was she really this troubled? What we did was horrible, and it was something that neither of us would ever consider doing again, but I knew that neither of us would ever regret it. All these years, a part of us both has been wondering, curious, of what the other would be like under the masking of clothes of others' eyes.

I shook the thought away, knowing exactly what would happen if I kept up these thoughts, and quickly flitted up the stairs. She still hadn't started breathing again. She was too quiet, and if I couldn't feel her odd emotions swelling over the top, I would have guessed she fled the house through her bedroom window. I paused infront of her door, and knocked twice, though I already knew she wouldn't answer.

Wrong.

Before my hand could touch the doorknob, it was wrenched open. Bella stood infront of me her hair drenched, cascading down her glistening shoulders. I guess I didn't hear her get in the shower. All that was covering her body was the small white towel she was using to dry off, and I felt my will crumble to pieces at her bare feet.

"Bella?"

Some unknown emotion erupted from her, something that she had been bottling up for days now, and nearly brought me to my knees. Bella grabbed a handful of my shirt and brought my face down to hers. It was almost as if I'd never tasted her lips before, but mine were singing with a new blaze of fire.

I don't remember picking her up, but somehow her legs were wrapped tightly around my waist. I also don't remember who had shut the door, or when we had managed to stagger to her bed, but there were no clothes - or towels - that separated us anymore. All the while, I couldn't take my lips off of hers or stop my hands which were exploring the every curve of her body.

Skin like silk and lips that tasted like pure sweetness under mine. Not one part of me wanted to pull away. My desires were to devour every inch of the perfection that was pulling on my body like it wasn't close enough. I don't know how I managed to stay away from her for so long, and I don't think I'd evr do it again.

She is my ecstasy.

And I am her heroine.

Longer chapter than the rest, but I've been gone for awhile.
The reviews were disappointing for chapter two, so I hope the ending of this chapter spiced things up.

:)

Lady Loser.

flowermasters - Lol. Yeah, I know she seems a little fast. But you're obviously floating in the same boat as me. Who could resist such a major temptation? Haha.

Clear Plastic - I have a feeling this will be a little longer than I intended for it to be. No worries. :)

lovesanime92 - You gave me the idea, so here it is! Jasper's POV! I could have done better. But, hey, it's 4:30am over here.

Twilightlove31 - I know. I kept seeing everyone make Edward and Alice have the affair, and I wanted to do something different. It' hard to make the characters keep up the charade. But it's worth it.

Fantastic, questioning and detailed reviews get replies. And, as you can see, I'm very open to suggestions.