Pasta . . . Water. . .

Getting. . . Hotter . . .

A song about noodles?

(No!)

-Adventure Time

Nothing but static on the radio today, that can't be a good sign. He heard a few roaring sounds in the last minutes of the broadcast, then all communication was abruptly cut off. All of civilization's suddenly been put on pause, not a single soul mingling about in Pallet besides Red and Blue. Even most of the pokemon were gone, since the two released them from their pens in Oak's pasture once all the food they could scavenge in town started running dry. Hopefully they'd find their way around the wild on their own, after being raised by scientists all the time. Around the time the cooped up pokemon left, a couple small packs of ferals came in and scampered their way around, which the human occupants managed to avoid confrontation with for now. They made sure to train their pokemon in preparation to defend themselves if any future situation called for it, but of course that worked up the appetites of the pocket monsters, draining their stockpiles even faster.

They couldn't survive on Pallet Town alone too much longer. Before the epidemic, the town relied on Viridian and Cinnabar to meet its supply needs. Cinnabar would probably be pretty safe, at least when it comes to wild pokemon, but neither of them had a clue how to operate a boat, so for now they'd have to postpone plans of voyaging there. Viridian would definitely have a goldmine of necessities that they could salvage, but that's the exact same reason it'd be a minefield of danger as well.

For instance, most people would run to the local gun store the moment they hear news about a zombie outbreak. Sounds reasonable, everyone would need a weapon of their own to defend themselves, and everything that isn't nailed down will be up for grabs. Problem is, other people think the exact same thing, so they'll turn up at the same gun store too. If the shop owner's still kicking, he won't respond too kindly to a mob trying to clamor themselves through the front door, and he'd already be trained in sharpshooting well before anyone else decided they needed to go on a zombie killing adventure. The place will already be barricaded as an impenetrable fortress that's just taunting any lunatic to drop in to a trap at point blank range.

But even then, the guy in charge of the shop isn't the thing to be wary of the most at the spot. The people outside, especially the ones who've yet to bear arms, will grow paranoid every second they wait in line at the all you can eat lead buffet. If the crowd does manage to blockade the exits long enough to make the owner surrender, there'll be a Mexican standoff the moment someone grabs a firearm inside. To put a long story short, the zombies may be pretty gruesome monsters, but humans will always be the biggest ones. Even in the face of a common enemy that's incapable of compromise, they'll continue to squabble amongst themselves. So long as there's two men left on the planet, one man's going to want another man to be dead.

. . . Yeah, in that case they better find some other survivors soon, so long as they keep making preparations for an assault on Viridian if needed. They've been working hard for the past month and a half pulling their resources together. It'll be time to make their move soon.

Dry noodles rattled like rumbling rocks as Blue made his way in while shaking the box. "Yo Red, I found some spaghetti!"

Red looked back at him, then back to his Venusaur. "Okay Saur, we're done for now!" The pokemon moaned out and nodded, wandering away from Blue's Machamp that it was busy training against and going elsewhere in town to idle itself. He walked up to Blue and smiled. "Sounds yum, do we have any sauce?"

He pulled out a can from his pocket and brandished it out. "Got some tomato soup, that's sorta like sauce, right? Tomato, tomahto, whatever."

Red chuckled. "I'm sure it'll be fine."

They went back inside Red's house and started to boil the noodles and make the soup, and Blue drifted away as Red prepared the meal inside. Neither of them could really fill in the role of the woman of the house, so of course all the dishes would be perpetually filthy, where they'd only fix themselves up a dish when it was needed at that exact moment. In the end, Red managed to scrape himself a plate full of spaghetti and poured the way-too-thin sauce over it. He laid it on the table along with glasses of tap water and peeked out through the door outside to call out Blue's name to come back in, and momentarily they both sat down to start on the meal.

Blue glanced at it once he was settled down and noticed how Red's plate had a much larger pile of noodles than his. "That's amore for you, but what about me?"

He was about to lunge his fork into the plate until he was caught by the comment. ". . . Huh?"

"Well, it's a song that sounds like it'd be in Lady and the Tramp, and 'amore' as in you have a-more than me, I think it's called a pun, or a play on words, or something like that."

Red looked down at his plate, and realized that it was the only plate on the table. "Oh, I see. About the whole hogging all the food to myself thing, but I disagree with the whole Lady and the Tramp thing, at least when it comes to its relations to the song 'That's Amore.'"

Blue laughed. "Okay, but I still stand by my idea that any time featuring spaghetti can be linked to that iconic scene, especially when romantic tension is involved."

Red blushed a bit and tilted back in his seat. "Ermm . . . that was just a freakout thing I did thinking you were dying, you know . . ."

He chuckled more. "Yeah, yeah. But we're going to eventually get out of Pallet, aren't we?" Red nodded. "Then that means we're pretty much guaranteed to catch the virus sooner or later, right? Like it or not, we'll need to adapt."

Red turned silent. ". . . So are we having a Seinfeldian conversation about whether or not a Dean Martin song fits in with a Disney movie, or are we talking about . . . that kind of stuff . . ."

Blue hoisted up and took a seat on Red's side of the table, and placed a hand around his shoulder. "Of course we have to talk about that stuff, it's a life or death deal. It'll be hard adjusting, I know that, but if we're going to have a hard time getting used to thing, we'll be having a hard time together. As far as dudes go, I'd probably be most comfortable with experiencing this with you."

Red avoided eye contact, but nodded. "Thanks, I guess. . ."

Blue reached a hand up to tilt Red's chin to make him look him in the eyes, making Red falter back. "I mean it, and I'll be sure to make this as easy on you as I possibly can. . ." he thought a moment for something to say that could lighten the mood, and grinned when an idea hatched. "Besides, you'll be just fine with everything once I seduce you, and that shouldn't be so hard."

Red slipped a chuckle that let him look back into Blue with more ease. "My, aren't you boastful? Let me see if you're successful in that."

"Challenge accepted," he said, going back to his side of the table to start digging into the spaghetti. He peered back into it and sighed. "Hmm, another problem. No meatballs."

Red raised an eyebrow. "Is that a problem?"

Blue nodded. "Of course . . . because . . . you know, meatballs. Meat. Balls."

He rolled his eyes. "If you have to use sexual innuendo, be a bit better at it."

Blue smirked wider. "Yeah, but wouldn't it be nice to see me lick at them suggestively?"

Red shook his head. "They look gross though. If you're going for stuff like that, I'd suggest a banana." He sighed and facepalmed. "And what kind of seduction is this? Pretty pathetic seduction if you ask me."

"Yes, but everyone falls for the funny guy. Sure, the main source of humor in this exchange is the fact that the humor itself is terrible, but nonetheless it's still amusing, right?"

Red chuckled. "Sure, let's go with that."

Blue leaned over the table towards Red, leading him to squirm back in his chair a little. "Tell you what: if I manage to eat my entire plate before you're done with yours, we get to share the rest of your spaghetti like those cute little dogs, which might lead to something interesting. Sound like a good wager?"

"Pfft, you know I'm the fastest eater around, I could eat ten dishes full before you get a chance to slurp one noodle." He held out a hand. "May the best man win." Blue accepted the handshake and the both of them readied their eating utensils. "On your mark . . . get set . . . go!"

Both of them pounced into their meals to stated digging the second it was time to start. After a few mouthfuls, Blue felt the urge to gag, but since he really needed to win this, he made himself swallow it down. "Whoa, time out, time out! This shit is terrible!"

Red looked up to him, still slurping down a bundle of the spaghetti connected to the rest of the entanglement. He sucked the strands he had in his mouth, but resisted getting more in honor of the temporary truce. "What? Of course it's terrible; tomato soup is hardly a replacement for real sauce."

He gave him a quizzical look, surprised by how little Red minded the abomination of cooking they had. "But . . ." he sighed and resumed mowing down the food, leading Red to jump back in as well. They sloppily forced it down their mouths as fast as they could, where much spilling took place that dropped down and stained them all over their shirts. Not that they had time to pay attention to cleanup up after themselves, they had a race to finish.

Eventually Blue made it to the finish line, nearly choking in the process when he had to catch up with Red's eating skills. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms with a sly grin of accomplishment. "Looks like I won."

He examined his tray and just realized he had been beaten at his own game. He sighed, seeing how he only had about three more spoonfuls till he would've been done, but he wasn't ready to admit he had failed just yet. "H-hey!" Red stammered, "I mean, come on—I had like three times as much as you, it isn't fair!"

Blue stuck his tongue out at him. "Aren't you the boastful one that claimed to eat ten plates before I could get a bite done?"

Red fidgeted back and lowered his head in defeat. "But . . . fine, I guess you win, serves me right to think I could win a bet against the house. . ."

Blue leaned over the table to get some of Red's pasta. "You be the lady, I'll be the tramp."

He blushed. "W-why do I have to be the lady? I want to be the . . ." he blushed even redder. "Well, tramp isn't that much better . . ."

Blue laughed and took a cluster of strands and put one end in his mouth as he urged the other boy to do the same on the other end. They both slurped on the noodles and managed to be pulled slightly towards each other, but before any physical contact could be made the limp chain broke apart and went down each other's throats. "Gee, that's a relief." Red said, trying to back out from any more.

Blue shook his head and reached out to yank Red's shirt collar to make him hover back over the plate. "Let's try this again, shall we?"

Red tried to squirm away, so Blue had to babyfeed some of the noodles in order to make him cooperate. They managed to pull all the way up to each other's lips, but Red forced himself to jerk away at the last minute before they could make contact. Blue didn't want to go down without a fight though, so he hopped up on top of the table to keep up with the strand. Surprised, Red simply let go of his mouth's grasp on the noodle and let Blue slurp the rest of it down his throat.

Blue groaned at Red's refusal to give in, but nonetheless finished what he had in his mouth. "Hmm . . . well, at least I got to taste some of your mouth juice from your half of the spaghetti . . ."

Red blushed even hotter, both staring at how he climbed up on the table and his talk about his saliva. And, well, every single other thing going on at the moment. "I . . . I don't know about the whole kissing thing . . ."

Blue pounced forward and planted a kiss on Red's cheek before he could react. Red, now as tainted red in the face that could possibly be maintained, fell back in his chair and into the floor. "B-Blue!"

He giggled and dropped down on the table to land on top of Red, urging a screech from the younger trainer. "Now, now, you ruined my idea of screwing you on top of the table since you decided to go and plop on the floor like that! Maybe some other time . . ." he smirked and started to knead at Red's shoulders. Red tried to wiggle away, though he couldn't help but stifle a moan as he soothingly touched his body. After Blue crept a hand up his shirt, he noticed all the stains embedded in it. "Wow, no wonder you finished so fast, half the spaghetti's littered all over your shirt . . ." he whispered into Red's ear, making the smaller one blush. He slipped the cloth off from his torso and immediately lunged his hands at him to play with his nipples, making Red wriggle in between his arms. Blue snickered right into Red's ear and bit into it.

Red cried out in pain, releasing a single tear that leaked down his cheek. "Blue . . . I don't want this . . ."

Blue laid a gentle hand on Red to comfortingly rub against his thigh. He trailed his other palm up against his chest and felt the pounding sensation of his steadily rising heartbeat. He progressed from his thigh to stroke against his lap, then climbed up a growing lump sprouting from Red's groin, making him chuckle in his ear some more. "Maybe you don't want this, but I know your body wants it . . ." He licked behind his ear and unzipped his pants to fish out the stiff member constrained by his boxers. He massaged the shaft and Red tried to flail himself out of Blue's arms, but to no avail. He tucked a finger under the cloth to tickle the flesh underneath for a while, then dug the rest of his hand under the boxers to grip around the base to knead it into hardening further.

As Red cringed against the violation, Blue clinched the waistband of the pants and dragged them down to reveal all his private parts below, and grinded his crotch against Red's rump to tease himself into getting erect. He prodded his rod against his body before he finally released his shaft and suddenly penetrated him. Red screeched out and murmured as Blue thrusted in and out of him. He tightened a firm grip on his legs and hoisted himself up to his feet so he could screw Red with his ass jutted in the air.

He whined more as Blue used him like a toy, clinging to the legs of the dining table so the top half of his body wouldn't have to face as much of a burden against the cold, hard floor tiles. Unfortunately the table was a poorly assembled IKEA one, so the legs couldn't bear the force and toppled over, leaning the top over with the disabled support and spilling the rest of the spaghetti pot all over Red's back. Before the pot could topple to the ground, Blue dragged his body away to avoid the avalanche of dishes that clattered all over the floor. The plates crashed into bits right where Red once laid, and just barely missed catching him in the shrapnel.

Blue spanked him sharply on the rear as he kept humping him. "Hey, didn't I just say I wanted to fuck you on a table later!?"

Red whimpered on the floor from the shock of the calamity and struggled to hold back sobs. "B-b-but . . . it's a sucky table . . . we would've broken our necks if we did th-that . . ."

He thought about the logic for a minute, then sighed when he realized he made an unnecessary outburst. Blue made sure to finish up the pounding on Red and released his pent up fluids to let it seep inside of him. Red moaned louder as Blue finished his job and collapsed his rear on the ground. He still seemed shaken up by everything, so Blue kneeled down to begin licking the spaghetti off of his back. Red was caught off guard, but in a mildly pleasant way this time. ". . . Wait, don' you hate my spaghetti?"

Blue hesitated for a second and tried to think of something to say. "Well . . . it just needed a little secret ingredient . . ." he prepared to hold back any groans he might make at his own comment he was prepared to say. " . . . And that ingredient is you."

Red felt the corniness too, but nonetheless accepted the diabetes-inducing sweetness as being the thought that counts. He flipped to his side and wrapped Blue in an embrace. Blue certainly didn't expect it, but went with it and cuddled with him for the next few minutes. After they both shared the long hug sprawled on the floor, Blue eased away and went to go fetch a broom. "You go train the team, Red. I'll clean up this mess."

Red faintly looked at Blue, leaking a soft smile as he made his way out of the house.

A/N: Bleh, I've been pretty busy. I'll be busy again by the time November rolls around too, since I'm going to enter NaNoWriMo, and after that I'll still have a few other fics that'll have higher priority. Don't worry though, this fic should stay around as my backup plan, since it's easy to write for. After NaNo I want to stay in a constant cycle of writing, so I still expect to dabble in this whenever I need a headstart for muse. So yeah, until next time