SO MUCH MORE

Chapter 3 – Cover Blown

"You sleepin' with Abby?"

DiNozzo closed his eyes to briefly shut out the icy glare fizzing his way, before taking a deep breath and turning to face Gibbs. "Yeah, but it's not..."

Gibbs didn't give Tony a chance to finish, leaning forward in his chair, anger lacing his tone. "Not what, Tony? You betta not be using her or agent afloat'll seem like a picnic."

"I'm not," protested Tony, his own anger rising in response to the accusation, hurt rolling through him that Gibbs of all people would think that of him.

"I'd never do that to Abby. I care about her too much. I..." Tony broke off, shaking his head. He swallowed hard, trying to control his temper before continuing, "We've been seeing one another, sleepin' together on and off since..."

"Since when?" demanded Gibbs, glaring at the younger man.

"Since you quit and left us all, okay?" Tony burst out bitterly, his voice harsh as he fired back.

Tony shot a glance at the still figure on the bed before lowering his voice, running a hand over his head as he sorted his thoughts. "Look, we got close then. After you... retired, I was a mess, Abby was a mess. I still don't think you realize even now how much she missed you when you were gone... how lost she was."

How much we both missed you, Tony added mentally. The pain from that time wasn't that far under the surface, even now.

"What, and you took advantage of her?" Gibbs accused.

It was only the bed between them that was stopping Gibbs getting right up in Tony's space and getting his hands on the guy.

"No, dammit, it wasn't like that." Tony glared right back defiantly.

Gibbs in intimidation mode was a pretty daunting proposition at the best of times, and when it was directed at someone else, Tony found it hot... but being on the receiving end of it was not his idea of a good time right now.

But an angry Gibbs in full protective mode over Abby was a whole other level of scary.

"Then what was it like, DiNozzo?"

Tony took a deep breath, trying to tamp down his anger as that wasn't going to get them anywhere other than thrown out of the hospital. And as much as he wanted Abby to wake up, he'd rather she didn't come round in the middle of a full blown argument between him and Gibbs.

"We both missed you, dammit..." snapped Tony, and he saw Gibbs' eyes widen slightly before his face settled into that infuriating blank expression that was hard even for Tony to read.

Tony sighed, deliberately making his voice even and calm as he tried to explain. "Look, Gibbs, it was more of a comfort thing at first, when you left. We've always been close, you know that... she's my best friend and we just got closer. Friends with benefits sorta thing. Then after... after Jeanne, Abby was there for me, and then when she broke up with Marty, I tried to help her too. And then Abby kept me going when I went away as agent afloat on the carrier from hell and we've been together, on and off, and between other relationships ever since... We need each other I guess," DiNozzo trailed off, his eyes returning to the woman on the bed.

Of all the times for this to come out, the timing couldn't have been worse.

Because what he'd just told Gibbs was only half of it.

It had ceased to be just friends with benefits for Tony a while ago now, even if he knew Abby didn't feel the same way he did. But if it was the only way Tony could have her, then he'd pretended to himself that it would have to be enough.

But that was still not the whole truth. Although he could hardly tell Gibbs the rest of it because the Marine was the other half of Tony's problem.

His feelings for Gibbs were just as complicated as those he had for Abby... and just as strong.

And wasn't it just peachy and typical of him that he'd fall in love with two people he could never have... not in the way he wanted. Tony was almost sure they didn't love him in the same way he loved them.

Sometimes Tony thought he'd glimpsed a look in Gibbs' eyes that hinted at more than friendship, but he figured it was just wishful thinking on his part.

And some days and oh, especially those long tender, passionate nights with Abby, Tony could almost persuade himself that it was more for her too... that they were a normal couple and she felt the same way he did.

But they'd never discussed it... he was too cowardly.

Tony was terrified of losing both their friendships if he confessed his true feelings to Abby or made a move on Gibbs. The very thought of how that could go downhill at warp speed made him shudder. So he'd been trying to convince himself for the past few years that having one of them was better than not having either of them.

So he'd taken her company, her body and lost himself in the pleasure of both...

It was a way of staving off his loneliness. All the time hoping it might build into more.

And so here they were.

But seeing Abby lying here terrified Tony more than anything had in a very long time. Not since he'd seen Gibbs in a coma lying in that hospital bed after the Cape Fear blew up had he been so scared.

While Tony mulled over the mess that was his personal life, Gibbs had fallen silent. He was leaning forward in the chair, gazing down at his hands as if lost in thought and when Gibbs looked up at Tony and spoke again, his voice was calmer, almost defeated.

"You've been casual for that long?"

Gibbs couldn't understand how anyone could be casual with Abby... or Tony. If he'd gotten the chance with either...

Tony caught his breath at how lost the older man suddenly looked, and fought the urge to reach out to him. The last thing he'd wanted to do was hurt the guy... but the anger and accusations flying around had caused him to lash out.

Tony shrugged. "Casual's all Abby wants, I think. I mean it's not casual for me. I..."

"You what?" urged Gibbs, keeping his voice level.

Tony gazed down at Abby, brushing strands of hair off her forehead and Gibbs swallowed at the tenderness evident in that touch and the expression on Tony's face.

How had he missed this?

Tony was the best there is undercover but Abby he could usually read like a book, or so he thought.

Tony went on softly, almost as if he was talking to himself. "I love her, of course I do. What man couldn't love Abby? But... I know it's not serious for Abby. She already belongs... she's not mine."

Gibbs paused, staring at Tony, frowning as the younger man fell silent. "She's already... what?"

Tony sighed, debating with himself.

Should he let both cats out of the bag and to hell with it?

Well, he could always resign, or ask for a transfer, move out the city... hell, even out of the state... the country if necessary, grow his hair, disguise himself, maybe a moustache... or perhaps plastic surgery wouldn't be too expensive, or he could take another job, try to disappear...

But maybe it was time to push the two of them.

This near miss had shown Tony yet again what a fine line they all walked sometimes, and these two deserved to be happy... especially Gibbs who'd gone through so much hell in his life.

Tony gazed at Gibbs seriously for a long moment. "She's yours, Boss."

Abby loved Gibbs, and Gibbs belonged to Abby.

Simple as that.

Even if the two of them had done nothing about it, for years.

Gibbs reared back in his seat, eyes flicking to Abby. "What the hell are you talkin' about, DiNozzo?"

"It's you she wants, not me. She loves you, Boss."

Abby had confessed her feelings for Gibbs to Tony a long time ago when they first got together. In fact it had been a mutual confessional, late one night over booze and pizza... and was partly the trigger for the relationship between him and Abby changing as it did.

Tony had also admitted his own attraction for Gibbs right after the Marine had left for Mexico, and in a bout of mutual misery and seeking comfort, they'd ended up in a tangle of limbs in Abby's bed.

They'd discussed their feelings for Gibbs on and off since then, usually after some work crisis, or near miss, or relationship break up when they tried to persuade one another to say something... which typically ended with them both going round in circles and nothing being decided.

Gibbs broke Tony's train of thought as he stood up and turned away, rubbing a hand through his hair. With his back to the bed, Tony barely heard Gibbs' next words. "You're crazy, Tony."

"Look, I don't know if I should say anything. Abby'll kill me if she finds out I've said even this much. If..." Tony broke off, shaking his head. "No, when she wakes up, you gotta talk to her coz... I think I know how you feel about her too."

Gibbs turned slowly, his face unreadable. "You do, huh?"

Tony stared back, not flinching from the piercing gaze. "Yeah, I think I do, Boss. I've seen the way you look at her when she's not aware of it... it's the same look she has on her face when she looks at you. And the way you acted just now... kinda gives it away, y'know."

Tony wasn't about to compound things by admitting Abby had confessed her feelings for Gibbs to him. Tony figured he was in enough trouble already.

Gibbs didn't reply but merely walked up to the bed again, staring down at Abby. Tony watched the older man, trying to read him, while the familiar feelings of longing and desire rose up as he gazed at the handsome face and solid bulk of the man.

Tony couldn't pinpoint the exact time when his feelings for Gibbs had changed into something much more than physical attraction and friendship. He'd missed the guy as much as Abby had when Gibbs retired.

But it wasn't until Tony was away as agent afloat that the depth of his feelings for both of them had hit him full force.

And how the hell could he not have fallen for Gibbs?

The man was a force of nature.

One of the most magnetic, attractive and compelling men Tony had ever known. His boss, his friend, his mentor... the guy he trusted more than anyone.

It was just his bad luck that the two people he loved and wanted but could never have, loved each other.

Could this situation be any more fucked up?

TBC...

A/N: Okay, who's turn now? ncislove? *tag* ;)