Woot!

So what exactly do you do when your previous best friend who kind of ruined college for you suddenly ends up working for you, and he's hitting on you oh-so obviously at the same time? What exactly happens when all of this ends up with your ex, also being his ex, convinces you to leave your top suite condo? And what happens when the flirty programmer decides to take advantage of the moment and makes it sort of a date at a bad Italian restaurant, the kind of place you tend to avoid since you can't eat too much of that kind of food anyway?

You just deal with it. That's right ladies and gentleman, you just sit there and deal with the weird confusion, and awkwardness, and aggression as you try and figure out which dishes aren't going to make you wish your stomach didn't hate you as much as every other part of you. Sollux had his choice picked out minutes ago, and you're still in-between choices, unfortunately.

"So, what are you getting again?" Karkat asked, eyebrows raised questioningly. He had already asked this when they arrived, and Sollux already told him, without hesitating at all.

"Their lasagna dish, and maybe a beer or something." He shrugged. Alright, he already ordered wine for the two of them, why did he need more alcohol to satiate his thirst? Karkat had settled for some fruity tea shit, saying that he might have some of the red wine they both had to share, if the lush didn't drink it all.

"Right." He grumbled, taking a sip of tea slowly. Karkat gnawed on the straw as he drank, a bad habit he never got over. As the server came back for the fifth time, he just chose some fettuccine alfredo shit with a medium salad and went back to his tea. As the lady left, he caught a glance at her name tag, Dawny Abettor. Weird last name, then again, his wasn't any more common. She had a nice ass, too. Too bad Karkat didn't go for chicks anymore.

Sollux in the meantime poured them both a decent amount of wine, sipping away happily. He hadn't said much since they got there. Honestly, Karkat didn't want to talk either. He hesitated to even dare it, but picking up the glass, Karkat stirred around the red liquid, sipping away at the thick-flavored beverage. The flavors from his tea mixed well with it, enough to drown out the fizzle of alcohol. He couldn't complain about the taste, it was alright. "Like it?" Sollux snickered, leaning back in his seat. "You keep staring at it."

"And that automatically fuels your little conclusion that I like it? That's kind of a convoluted way of thinking." Karkat set the glass down, crossing his arms. "I just prefer not to get completely drunk every time I go eat somewhere. I wake up naked and in some horny hobo's arms less often." Captor snickered again, shaking it off to take a huge swig of beer, in spite of him.

"I can hold my alcohol pretty well, I'm not even buzzed." He sounded almost cocky about that, it seemed so illogical.

"If this is the reason why you're always late with your deadlines, my new position at Dersite Tech is going to be a breeze." He scoffed, setting down the bottle, finally, an angle in this awkward conversation that Karkat can actually be confident about. "Seriously, some AA could do some wonders for you. May even help your productivity."

"I don't drink when I'm working, asshole." He snapped back, glaring right back at him. "And even when I am coding, I actually do get less errors when I'm drunk off my ass." Karkat had to roll his eyes at that one. That sounded so far-fetched, too egotistic to even be a thing. No, he'd have to see it himself to even consider the possibility.

"So, enlighten me Captor, why exactly are you the nightmare worker of every project manager Derse has thrown at you?" he asked. Sollux shrugged, and tried to let the issue die as their first course arrive. Karkat's salad and a customary cup of soup for the lush. It was a nice gesture. Karkat planned to let him eat a little before asking again, until he glanced back over to the jackass bowing his head and praying before he started on his sub-par bowl of watery shit.

He had no idea Sollux was religious. Hmm. Well, it was rude to interrupt something like that, so he just started stuffing his face with ranch-covered leafy rabbit food instead.

So, one awkward meal later, which mostly entailed of small talk and Karkat playing with his food while sipping down wine, the two finally got to the typical 'who's going to pay' argument. Honestly, the cancer hadn't even thought about it until Sollux pulled out a credit card. Oh no, he already made it seem like a date with the pleasant meal, and everything. No, Sollux wasn't going to win this little competition. "Put that thing away, I'm paying."

"Hell no, I chose the place." Sollux placed the card on the table, crossing his arms. "Just let me be a nice guy and pay for dinner."

"Fuck no! Nice guys chose the place and sit their asses down to accept their boss buying them food." Pulling the boss card already. Good tactic Vantas. It didn't even affect Sollux though, in fact that permanent grin got wider because of that.

"You aren't my boths yet." Oh god the cocky attitude was back, Karkat could compete with this though, too. Sollux wasn't the only convincing one. It was a matter of pride now. He had to associate some kind of dominance or Sollux would walk all over him. Obviously when they started work. Yeah, that kind of sounded bad, damnit. "Tho, I'm paying."

"I'm not arguing this little point anymore, Sollux. Arguing this little point is like shitting on a cat and tossing it out into sea. Flinging pointless reasons at me isn't going to work, so just sit there and accept me paying for dinner." A devious little idea flicked through his he spied the card still on the table. Karkat glared into equally glaring eyes, a mental battleground of bright red and yellow. This little stalemate wasn't going anywhere. Not until Karkat brought out his newest trump card. Standing up, he walked right over to the other, hovering over him with bright red eyes, glaring down in silence.

He stayed there for a little bit before Sollux laughed. "Ith this supposed to intimidate me, KK?" He taunted, smirking up. He was just about to get up, probably to mimic the notion and gain an advantage in this little fight before the other acted. He turned his head away until Karkat brought cupped his chin, pulling his face back, hetero-chromatic orbs widening through the straight shot bright red, peering with direct eye contact. He was speechless, his jaw would have dropped if Karkat wasn't holding it now. He even caught a light pink blush flaring up along the other's cheeks.

Aaaand just like that Karkat swiped his co-worker's card and walked off to the cash register, leaving only confusion and a middle finger in the air. Yeah, he won this argument. Gracefully.

Sollux's jaw dropped finally, watching Karkat so easily use his own grey credit card to pay the overpriced fifty dollar fee for the meal. That jackass!

A jackass with a nice ass. Damnit!

Sorry for the short chapter guys, the next one is going to be pretty long, I hope. If anyone can get why that waitress' name is specified, you get a cookie! Hehe