The only way I got to get all my things from my room was to break into my former home when my parents were at work. Oddly I felt like I was breaking the law, which in a way is true. Paul helped me get my clothes and stuff that I would need from my room. He already had a bed so I left mine. My dog Killer whined just as I was about to leave. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his furry neck. He was a German Sheppard and the best dog you could ever have. "I'll miss you boy. Be good."
He gave me a grim look and went to go lay down on his doggie bed in the back room of the house. He put his head on his paws and whined mournfully knowing I was leaving home. I didn't look back, too many memories were sketched into this house; my former home.
Paul drove us back to his place. I knew he was looking at me from the corner of his eyes. I tried my best to keep a straight face. I really didn't want to cry in front of him. He had enough of that from last night. I knew my pain was his pain, it was a part of the imprint bond, that or true love. Rain drops sprinkled around his small two bedroom house. Paul lived alone even though he was only seventeen. Well he had been phasing for about two years now so he must be like nineteen. Oddly no one questions the whole not aging thing, here in La Push. I bet Sam had it arranged so the school wouldn't question why the guys never graduated. Most stayed until they finally imprinted.
I wondered to myself why he hadn't gotten out of high school yet since he imprinted on me. My Paul was not stupid; I think he just didn't try even though he's about a year or two delayed. Hopefully I could change that though. I myself had plans for the future. My mother had been in love with my father since she was sixteen, according to her. She was a pure Christian; she even waited till they were married before having sex. Then again if she were a true Christian she wouldn't have thrown me out like moldy bread.
I wanted to go to college and do something with my life. Though really I wish I could pursue my love for dancing. Now I wasn't so sure if I could still do that with a kid and Paul, so college seemed more of a simpler opportunity. A warm hand touched my arm, reviving me from my trance of thoughts. I almost forgot that we were already at his house.
"You okay honey?" He asked his dark eyes staring down into my blue ones.
I wanted to scream No I am not fucking okay! How would you like to be puking all the time and get kicked out of your own damn home? Though of course I did not say that, no matter how much I wanted to. "I'll be okay."
He smiled weakly and pecked my lips. "Come on; let's get your stuff into the house."
I helped carry some bags of my stuff. Most of it was clothes and books but in the end we got all of my stuff into the spare room. I would sleep in Paul's room, but I guess for now my things would be kept in the extra room until I unpacked. "I'm going to have to get a job." I told him.
His eyes snapped up at that, "No you're not. I have a job and I've got enough saved up from being in the pack and from my part time job too."
I frowned. "But I want to help."
He sighed. "Ari I want you to be happy. You don't have to get a job if you don't want to."
I really hated it when he tried to do everything for me. Sure it's sweet and charming but I am an independent woman. Okay not really since I had nowhere else to go but here, but I still want to try and be independent in some way. I could get a job to help with bills and baby stuff. "Paul, do you know how expensive babies are?" I remember vaguely watching some documentary on teenagers who have children. It was no easy, especially when it came to money.
He glared. "Do you? I never thought you were the expert on children."
He can't be an expert on them either, unless he had some kid I didn't know about, which I hope is not true. Maybe living with him wasn't such a good idea. "No I'm not, but that doesn't make me stupid either." Shit, that wasn't a nice thing to say to him.
Paul began to shake and I knew better than to egg him further on, so I backed away. He went out the back door of the house. I could see him yank down his shorts and phase. A flash of gray fur was all I saw and then he made it to the forest. Damn it, I was so stupid. I should have been nicer to him. Paul was doing a lot for me and all I am doing is making it harder on him. The phone rang and I went to pick it up.
"Hello, is Paul there?" It was Sam Uley.
"Uh no Sam, this is Ariella. He took off in the forest though." I sure as hell hoped Sam could calm him down.
"Alright, thanks Ariella. Take care."
Click, he hung up after that. Uh oh, my stomach lurched. I made a dash for the toilet. Ugh this is so gross. I hate barfing, let alone in a toilet. I was pretty surprised at how clean Paul is for a male. Then again, he had his girlfriend, well imprint living with him now. I went into the spare room and got my tooth brush out of my toiletries bag. I brushed my teeth and then went to get something from my purse, a number.
One of the pamphlets Daphne had given to me the other day at the clinic. It was a teen hotline. I had my cell still and oddly my parents still haven't disconnected it. I called the number and a woman picked up.
"Hello, thank you for calling TeenHelp how can I assist you?"
"Um I need someone to talk to." I said lamely. I felt stupid to not have anyone else to talk to. I could talk to Lindsey, but she had problems of her own. I really needed to make more friends.
"One moment please."
I listened to the hold music and then hung up. I could do this on my own. I didn't need TeenHelp to give me the answers. I thought of my mom and dad. I missed them even if they hated me for getting pregnant. I felt tears form in my eyes and then they dripped down my cheeks. I sat on Paul's couch, my hand on my stomach. "I'll never kick you out, no matter what you do." I told my baby. "I'll be the best mom for you."
I grew tired of just sitting there so I decided to go into Paul's room. I felt so damn tired. Plus I already slept last night. Maybe it was a part of being pregnant. I also had no clue of what to expect besides the obvious, I was going to get really fat. I lay my head back on one of the pillows on his bed. His bed was pretty comfortable, though I did sleep here the night before. I could smell the pine tree scent in his sheets and pillows. I shut my eyes falling into blissful sleep.
Warmth flooded around me waking me up. My eyes opened and from the corner of my eyes I could see Paul lying next to me. He didn't seem pissed off anymore. I turned onto my side so I could look at him. His eyes were open and bore into my blue ones. I wrapped my arms around him holding him close. I didn't want to fight with him and I sure wish that we wouldn't ever fight again. Though, that was highly improbable.
"Ariella, I'm sorry about earlier." He said burying his face in my long reddish brown hair. It was red only in the sunlight, yet tangier than most brunettes.
I smiled sheepishly, "its okay babe. I'm not mad."
Paul grinned. "I can make it up to you."
I felt my face redden. I knew what he really was talking about. Was I ready to do it again? Is that even okay, especially if you are pregnant? I needed to do some research on pregnancy. How could I not know this, I'm a girl for god's sake?
His hands slid down my back. Would it hurt as much as it did the first time? I bit my lip, suddenly nervous. I mean I've had sex before, well just that one time with Paul. It wasn't fun for me but maybe it'd be different this time. Obviously he was in the mood. I felt his hands go underneath my shirt. I crushed my lips to his deciding maybe the second time's the charm.
Paul's hands ran up my shirt so he could slip it off of me. His lips connected with mine once it was off. My fingers ran through his dark hair as his hands moved to my jeans. I can do this. My hands moved down to feel his well tone muscles of his back as Paul finished taking off my jeans. I was just in my underwear now. His lips sucked on my neck and I pulled him closer so he was on top of me. Paul must be a pro at taking his pants off since those were on the ground in three seconds. My face was red and I hoped the dark would make it difficult to notice. His hand traced my hips and then off went my underwear along with my bra.
His hard erection pulsed against my inner thigh. Paul's lips came to mine and he kissed me passionately. He wasn't wearing boxers and I was not surprised. It must be easier for the pack to patrol with only shorts on. His tip touched my entrance and he came into me slowly. I still felt tender but that probably was because he was so damn big!
"You okay?" He asked noticing me cringe.
"I'll be fine." I replied trying to get comfortable to his size.
He nodded and began to thrust into me. I let out a moan; it started to feel real good. My hands clutched his hair and he quickened his pace.
"You feel so tight and good," He whispered into my ear huskily.
I let another moan and clutched his body closer. I could feel his hot breath on my face. "Paul," I murmured in full bliss. Now I finally get why people make such a big deal about sex. I felt myself tighten around him and realized I was coming. Paul followed right after me.
He pulled out and lay beside me pulling me to his chest. He kissed my cheek. "I love you."
"Love you too," I replied snuggling into his warmth. Paul's mouth found mine again and he began to kiss me tenderly. He growled as my hands moved down his abs and we continued our fun for the night.
Every morning was the same. I got up and ran for the bathroom. I hated vomiting so much and just thinking about it made me gag into the toilet. I groaned and sat on the cold tile. I don't think I could even eat this morning after that, I would probably just get sick again. I leaned against the tub, my stomach felt empty and now I was hungry.
Paul must still be sleeping, I was glad that he hadn't heard me. I wouldn't want him to see me like this. I felt so disgusted with the morning sickness that I could barely stand it myself. I flushed the toilet and washed my face with my facial cleanser to wake myself up. After brushing my teeth two times I decided to take a nice hot shower. God my hair was oily and gross. How could Paul even stand to think it looks nice? Then again he is a guy, as sexist as it sounds. Plus he loves me and when you're in love I guess it doesn't bother you how your lover's hair looks.
We are lovers after all; well I guess that's what we are. Two teenagers, who happen to be having a baby, no scratch that, a teenager having a baby with an adult. After my shower I slipped a towel on over my body and made my way to the spare room where my stuff is. I dressed in dark faded jeans, a purple tank top, and a cardigan. I touched my stomach. I wasn't fat, yet. I pondered what I would look like with a gigantic belly and how I would have to waddle around school like a duck.
I walked back into the bedroom, Paul wasn't there. Huh, big shocker, not really he must be patrolling. I blow dried my hair and curled the ends of my hair. Naturally it's wavy but I liked to curl the bottoms more. My blue eyes stared back at me in the mirror. Thank god it was a Saturday; I really didn't want to go to school. I groaned remembering that I had homework to do. I went into the kitchen and then I thought. Prenatal vitamins, where would I get those? Do they sell them at a store or does a doctor have to prescribe them to you. I suddenly wished I had my mom. She doesn't love you though Ariella, she kicked you out because she doesn't care enough about you to help you get through this.
I opened the fridge, nothing looked appetizing and I just kept thinking that I would throw it up once I consumed it. My hands felt cold and my feet did too. I heard the phone ring; I reached for it and answered.
"Hello?" Some girl asked. "Hey sexy, where have you been? I've been calling you for days." I froze; he's been cheating on me.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"This is Kayla, who the fuck is this?" She questioned and then she giggled. "Oh I remember you, you're the chick that won't sleep with her boyfriend. Oh my bad. I thought you would have figured this out on your own."
"What are you talking about?" I whispered.
"Look hon. I'll dumb it down for you. Your boyfriend and I have been fucking for weeks now." She hung up after that.
I dropped the phone and sunk down to the floor. Paul cheated on me? I thought he loved me. I felt so stupid for ever thinking he loved me. He didn't love me. He used me. I got up and walked in the spare room. I gathered my clothes and got the picture of my dog and family. Once those were packed I grabbed a bag and filled it with my toiletries. Next, I called Lindsey.
"Hey," She greeted.
"Lindsey," I said tears running down my eyes. "Can you take me somewhere, please your all I have left?" I pleaded into the phone.
"Oh my god, what the hell happened?" She asked worried. She must have figured out I was lying.
"Please just come get me. I need a ride is all; I'll explain everything when you get here." I sobbed and then hung up the phone. Ten minutes later there was a knock on the door. I went to answer it and there stood Lindsey. She held her arms out and I hugged her hard. "Lindsey he used me."
"What? That bastard, I'm going to kill him." She said stroking my hair. "Come on, where do you need to go?"
Her step father's truck was parked in front of Paul's house. "To this home, it's for teenage mothers. I'll go there to have this baby. They offer help to teenage girls in this position."
Lindsey nodded, "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean maybe my house isn't so bad."
We both laughed at that. "Nah I'll be fine."
She grinned. "My house is pretty shitty but it's better than…"
I looked at her with sadness. "I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that. You're a smart girl Ariella you just made a mistake. We all make bad choices but at least we learn from them." She added with a hopeful smile.
"I'm just glad I'm getting out before it's too late," I responded wiping a tear from my cheek.
Lindsey smiled, "It'll be okay, and I'll come to visit you." She helped with my bags and we both got in the car taking off.