'The Melancholy Crow'
By: GaaraFox
"Silence your lambs, frighten your sheep, depress our goats, and I shall sacrifice all, for that eternal sleep we so longer in the heavens."
"Do you want me to face it. . . .or join it. . . ?"
My eyes shut tight in my own phantasm, slipping into that velvet darkness that allures me so. Shall I do as the Gods tell me to? Or shall I go against that faith for a simple taste of utopia? It's perfection to win. . .
-and I want to win.
So, should I ask myself? Or should I just lie here, awake. . . .the simple pleasures in life handed to me so respectfully. I wouldn't mind. Would you? Centaur?
'The Library'
9/27th/08
Normally, my Thursdays would consist of ordinary routines such as: getting ready for school, going to school and learning, having extensive conversations with Ino, and ignoring Nina. As you can clearly see, boys are not in my day-to-day agenda. Unfortunately, this Thursday consisted one boy that continues to wretch his way into my schedule!
"Like I explained in the classroom, you're going to start a two week project on either The Holocaust, or The Great Depression." Mrs. Speed began her introduction, "I know that Juniors of our beloved High School have been here long enough to understand the rules of researching at the Library." She smiled and glanced at Mrs. Vex.
"Even though I'm aware that you kiddos can behave like mature adults, I'm going to set a few rules down; One: The library corners are not to be used as "Make-Out Zones". Two: the health books are not here as "free porno"-"
"I told you!" One boy elbowed his perverted friend that held a transparent grin.
Mrs. Vex glanced at the boys and continued, "Three: Any acts of PDA will get you in detention for three days, or more." She grinned and passed the speech onto Mrs. Speed.
"Now, are we understood?" The students groaned and both of the jubilant teachers seemed chipper at their negative response.
"Sakura and I have already set a few of the books, on your subject, on the circular tables. You may look at any of those, or try to find your own on something more specific." A few of the students lazily made their way towards the tables, some decided to get lost in the shelves, while the rest decided to search on the computers' library catalogs.
"Oh! Mrs. Vex, I almost forgot, we have a new student!"
Mrs. Vex became energized and animated at the idea of a new student in her library, "Where is this new student?"
"Sasuke, please step over here for a moment, I'd like to speak with you."
Sasuke detached his thundering eyes away from mine, and made his way towards the two overzealous adults. "Hn." He sort of grunted when he finally reached them.
"So, it's Sasuke is it? I'm Mrs. Vex," She held out her right hand politely, "your new Librarian!" He glanced at her hand, but soon took it, seeming as if he had no other choice. "Since it's your first day here, I'm sure I could give you a tour, but I already have so much work as it is, I hope you understand?" I could instantly tell that there was a smile behind that frown, especially when she clearly stated, "Since I can't give you a tour of the Library-"
And out of an unfortunate turn of events, she turned around and made full eye contact with me. . . "Sakura! Could you come here for a moment? I'd like to speak with you, too!" When I didn't move, she persisted even more by moving her hand towards herself, as if she was scooping imaginary snow.
I finally found the courage to move my feet when I calmed myself with thoughts of Mrs. Vex making me do her work, while she gave Sasuke a tour of the Library. My astonished expression was swept aside with a cheerful one as that idea took over my being. I merely made my way to the overactive Librarian, enthusiastic teacher, and the pessimistic airhead.
"Yes, Mrs. Vex?" I smiled sweetly.
"Listen sweety, I have a lot of work in my office that needs to get finished, desperately," I nodded and my smile grew. "do you mind," My head bobbed up and down while my smile soon became an airway for flies. "giving Sasuke a tour of the Library?"
My expression froze, and stayed in its ecstatic position. "Sure! I'd love to!" I hardly even moved my cheeks - let alone my mouth - when I'd proclaimed my overwhelming "happiness" at the idea of being with Sasuke.
'. . .damnit. . .'
"Fantastic!" She clapped her hands together while giggling, "Now, start in Fiction and make your way around. Mrs. Speed and I are going to my office because she's decided to help me out with some of the paper work." Mrs. Speed smiled triumphantly at the idea of helping someone. "I'm sure you'll be fine, right?" Mrs. Vex blinked merrily.
"Of course I will!" I reassured them with acidic joy. They left giggling and discussing something that probably had absolutely nothing to do with actual work! How dare they leave me with Satan!
My frozen features melted and I put on a bored grimace, "Whatever. Let's go."
I turned my back to him, not caring if he followed, and made my way towards the Fiction section. That walk seemed to drag on in time, as if I was dragging my feet through thick, mushy mud. It even felt unpleasant, just as it might have felt if there was, literally, mud on the ground. At first, I was wishing for something strange to happen, but unfortunately, this was reality, and mudslides don't just fall out of the ceiling… I can hope, can't I?
Out of all honesty, I would much rather deal with that then feel Mr. Hot Stuff's eyes piercing the back of my skull as if I was a mannequin in an Art Exhibit. I actually don't know why I dislike him, maybe it's because I'm having difficulty in associating with the male species when I've tried so hard to ignore them. I can tell you one thing, though, and that's that he's not going to get me to transform into some sort of "Barbie-Doll Puppet" like those other girls in the cafeteria!
I'd always been the type to be, not only quite stubborn on many different levels, but independent as well. I plan on graduating from High School, and attending a prestige college that will respect my opinions as a strong, driven woman. The students at this college will admire me for my great work in the Arts of Literature, and I'll go on to being a successful English teacher, or professor. After my dreams and goals are accomplished, and I'm nice and settled, then I might, and I mean might start dating again.
As I rambled on within my thoughts, I continued to make my way past many shelves containing variety of books. I actually bared… somewhat, of a decent smile now that I've contorted my brilliant plan in ignoring his dumb attitude. Besides, how bad could this year be? I'm sure he's not in any of my other classes besides English, because I take Advanced courses! I secretly smirked as I stopped underneath a sign that hung from the ceiling stating, "Fiction".
"This is," I pulled out my hand from it's comfortable position at my side, and held it out to properly present- "the Fiction section. You will find all works that are both preposterous, and unreal. This means that you could find assortments varied from both Dragons, to Vampires, to High School Soup Operas." 'No pun intended.' I giggled internally.
A triumphant smile spread across my lips, knowing proudly that I've read just about every book in this section, because it is my favorite part of the library! "Now, the Fiction section goes from this shelf," I placed my hand on the said item. "All the way back to the wall," I pointed towards my left. "And can end at the eighth shelf, this way." I pointed in front of me. "Any questions?" I grinned in my own, nerdy success, but soon internally growled when I turned around to find him with his eyes shut.
"Hello?" I somewhat screamed, more than questioned. "Are you even listening to me?" I 'screamed' again while waving my hand in front of his face. It was until then that I realized tiny white buds protruding from his ear canal. I groaned, annoyed that someone would actually have the nerve to be so rude!
At this, with my anger built up because of my zero tolerance for annoying morons, I ripped the earphones from his ears. At first, he didn't really do anything, but sort of opened his eyes and sent one of his famous glares in my direction. I happily took it, returning the sweet gift.
He sighed. "You're annoying."
I'm annoying? Excuse me? Annoying? "I am not annoying!" I'm far from annoying! I hardly did anything to this guy and yet he's stating that I'm annoying!
Underneath that dumb frown I spotted a smirk as it slowly made its way up to the surface of his face. "Yeah," He nodded positively. "You are."
With that, he brushed passed me and made his way down the isle, replacing his small, white ear buds in their proper, annoying place. I crossed my arms and marched right behind him, catching up easily and cutting him off. He stopped and held the same bored look he's been holding since the moment he got here.
Which was, how long ago? An hour? Two hours? That must be a world record! The first human being I've known for only two hours, and already hate!
"What exactly, is your problem?" I asked, somewhat sincerely, standing up straight and making full eye contact (It's essential when conversing with morons.). Sasuke returned the gesture, and I could feel him looking deeply within, almost desperately. For a moment, I felt uncomfortable, sort of exposed, but with a tint of melancholy. After a few seconds went by, though, I couldn't help but look back with the same amount of curiosity.
I'm not going to lie to you, this boy's eyes were. . .okay, they were gorgeous . . .to say the least. They seemed to churn my world, as if I was drowning, and floating at the same time.
"You know," He began speaking, and suddenly an unexpected shiver ran through me. How could someone take control of you so easily? There's was something about him that perked my interest. . . "I can't hear a single thing you're saying." He smirked, and pointed to his left ear bud.
. . .but my interest wasn't the only thing he perked. Suddenly, my anger was back as well, and like the storm I envied on a rainy day, I turned my back to him in a puff of cold wind.
We continued making our way past the colossal shelves of fiction, and towards the Non-Fiction section. I honestly hadn't realized that my nails were digging into my palms until I came back down to Earth and released the hostility that built within my knuckles. My pace was also picking up speed, so I fought with the adrenaline in my veins and slowed down to a saunter. To bring my heart to average tempo, I took the time to breath in, and out, allowing my lungs to expand, and deflate the cantankerous energy stirring within.
After I came to the conclusion that I was serene as my soul was going to get, I placed my hand on my cheek, feeling heat waves rise off of it. I hadn't realized how warm it was. . . After analyzing the contours of my face, it seems as if all of the skin above my neck took on a slightly pinker tone. The last time my face was this flushed, was after running the mile in Athletics a few years back. . . Actually, the last time my face was this flushed, was when I was dating-
I shook my head at the thought, promising myself I wouldn't allow my thoughts to linger on such subjects. One memory would reel in another, and that one would conjure one more. Eventually, I'd find myself on my knees in tears.
An acrimonious façade washed over me once again, and I found myself back into the state of "scrunching eyebrows". I couldn't release the tension that was built, so I decided to continue focusing on the task at hand.
I stopped and looked towards the ceiling, finding the sign that stated, "Non-Fiction". Suddenly, a strange delirium knocked me off my feet, and I spun (almost a pirouette) around towards 'Jerk Face'. The smile that extended across my lips was one of superiority; I wasn't going to allow him to play any sort of mind games that would corrupt my routine thinking process.
He stood there in his Alpha glory; his hands placed in his pockets, ears buds attached to his ears, and a look of boredom that secretly held ebullience. If it were some other girl in my place, she would've melted at the fact that he was looking at her. Although in my case, I was able to see right through his body language.
His eyes flickered a hidden message that disappeared as suddenly as it was revealed. I could subconsciously sense his thoughts tossing and twirling, as if in a catastrophic ballet. The finale was unknown, but for now, he would allow the sense of excitement and a piercing realization of unknown terrain.
Even if all of the blood from my face drained away minutes ago - going back to my ashen skin because I never really went outside - it seemed to suddenly reappear, although not as evident. I was more in control of the heat, but a slight tint still crept up.
I wasn't sure if I was imagining it or not, but for a split second in time, he held a smile. It wasn't one of those smirks, it was an actual smile. Was he capable of that? I wasn't sure. . .
That moment had long gone now, and it seemed as though he was internally building an electric enmity. "What?" The articulation used to form this short word shot at me like a silver bullet. At first I was shocked, but didn't allow this to be shown externally. Soon, I became ashamed and vulnerable. I continued to gaze into his eyes, hoping that the crippled boy I'd seen was still there, but the stone wall was back before I could catch another glimpse.
He turned his head to the side, pulling away access into his soul, and glaring at the book shelves. A sharp flicker of fire kindled on the edge of my lower eye lids, and suddenly my vision became blurry. How could someone see through you so quickly, and suddenly rip that away from you?
Honestly, I felt stupid and childish. I wasn't going to start crying over some boy I'd only known for a few hours, just because I thought we shared a moment of understanding.
My posture became erect, and I marched past him, once again not caring if he followed. That was it. I was through with these silly games of hoping that someone of the male species could actually care.
. . .I stopped, and stared past the other students in the front of the library. Why was I making such a big deal about this? It wasn't as if my world was coming to an end. . . and yet. . . There was still something there. I knew there was. I wasn't just another fan girl who was chasing after Sasuke Uchiha because he was good looking, I was merely curious as to why I felt as if I'd known him my entire life.
Soon enough, he came out from the forest of shelves in an ambulatory, fixating his focus on Mrs. Vex and Mrs. Speed. Our sweet librarian was exuberantly expressing her gratitude for having them with her on this "lovely evening", and hoped to see them once again.
Even if I understood what she was saying, I wasn't hearing her. Her velvet lips moved and symmetry with the words, but the vibrations never escaped from her throat. My mind was too busy floating into a state of content bliss that had a slight buzzing at the back of my skull. It was irritating, yet soothing at the same time.
In that moment, I realized that deep within myself, I hungered to see that smile again.