Christmas was always my favourite time of year, ever since I was a very small baby. I loved everything about it, the decorations, the presents, the food, the family get together; and this Christmas was no exception.
I'd started the big school this fall and I was due to star in the Christmas play tonight and I was nervous. I was playing one of the singing Christmas trees, along with 5 others and the thought of all those people watching me wasn't pleasant.
I left my bedroom and walked into the living room, the TV wasn't on but there was music coming from somewhere. I could see Mommy, she was sat on one of the table chairs with one of those model statues set out in front of her. It was wearing my dark green dress, which was my costume for tonight's play, and mom was sewing on a few final accessories.
She'd spent weeks trying to make sure I had the best costume, and it had really paid off. She'd made me some red tinsel bracelets, and sewn on the same red tinsel around the bottom of my dress and the neck line. She'd then sewn on silver tinsel in a zigzag pattern around the dress and also sewn on all sorts of beads in all sizes to make it look like lights and ornaments. She'd also borrowed two rather large tree ornaments from her works Christmas tree and she'd attached them to fake earring clips so I could wear them on my ears. Along with the dress, I had some bright green tights, which Uncle Freddie had found at a shop while doing his Christmas shopping, and some dark green shoes that where almost the same colour as my dress and had glitter all over them.
Finally, mommy and Uncle Freddie had managed to make me a head accessory, mom had bought a plain white head band and had stuck on even more beads and glitter, while Freddie made a big golden star from some plastic he got at work, and once that was stuck on it looked like the star on top of the tree.
"Hey baby girl, you'll never guess what Freddie managed to borrow from this girl at work!" Mommy exclaimed, looking up at me as I walked in.
"What?" I asked, curious as to what it could be, although I guess it would likely be something for my costume because otherwise I'd be kept for me to open as a present on Christmas Day.
"This cool hair colour streakier, she said she uses it on her daughter all the time because she loves different colours in her hair, so when she said it had green that could be added to the hair I thought of you baby girl and how amazing your little brunette curls will look with green running through them!" she told me with a smile, wow that sounded cool. Mommy really wanted me to be the best Christmas tree.
"Oooh cool, all the others Christmas tree's will be so jealous!" I told her as I took a seat on the sofa, but one of my favourite Christmas songs began playing through the speakers so I jumped up again and began to sing and dance while Mommy continued the finally pieces to my costume.
"Oh I wish it could be Christmas everyday!" I sang loudly, it was the only part of the song I knew, as I jumped up and down. Uncle Freddie came into the living room at this point, walking over and beginning to dance to. I don't know why but I immediately stuck out my arms out to be lifted up; I think it was a reflex from those times daddy had been cheerful at Christmas and danced with me. He would always pick me up and dance for a song with me on his hip just been silly, I kind of missed Daddy; I hadn't seen him in months, not since we ran into him when going to get paint. Mommy always said he was busy but I'd see him soon, but soon never came.
Uncle Freddie picked me up with no hesitation and sat me on his hip, as we began bouncing around the room we sang at the top of our voices. Freddie knew more words than me, but I practically shouted at the top of my lungs when I knew the words. By the time the song was finished we both were out of breathe, but the next song on was another one of my favourites, and I think Freddie sensed this because instead of putting me down like I thought he would he began dancing again. Singing loudly once more.
"SO HERE IT IS MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY'S HAVING FUN!" we sang, by the time this song was over we were officially worn out, Uncle Freddie fell back into the sofa with me as the next song was a slow song, unfamiliar to me.
"So you all ready for your performance as a Christmas Tree tonight?" he asked me as we began to gain back our breathes, we remained on the sofa, me sat on top of Uncle Freddie with his arms wrapped around me.
"Yeah, I've learnt the song and dance and mommy has made me the perfect costume. I'm really excited, are you coming to watch me Uncle Freddie?" I asked him, looking up at him.
"Of course I'm coming; I couldn't miss watching you be the best Christmas tree ever!" Freddie answered me with a smile.
"Me and Freddie will be sat at the front row watching your every moment." Mommy said from the side.
"What about daddy? Will he be there?" I dared to ask, I immediately felt Freddie stiffen up underneath me and mommy's head rose up to look at me.
"Sorry baby, but you know how busy daddy can get and he's really busy today. But we'll record your whole performance and we can show that to daddy!" Mommy told me.
"Oh, okay!" I replied softly, to be honest I knew daddy wouldn't be there.
"I know baby girl, why don't you go get your new Christmas colouring book and you and Uncle Freddie can colour some pictures to give to everyone when we go back to Seattle for Christmas!" mommy told me, I nodded my head and jumped off Uncle Freddie and made my way into my bedroom to find my book.
I admit, I felt sad that daddy wasn't coming to see me perform, but I hadn't expected him too. I was beginning to wonder if he didn't want to see me again. I walked into my bedroom to search for my book, pushing daddy to the back of my mind.
I loved my new bedroom; mommy, uncle Freddie and me had all decorated it. With yellow and pink painted walls, I also had a pink carpet and my bed had Barbie princess covers. They'd also bought me a lilac coloured canopy to hang over my bed, so when I was asleep I felt like I was in a princess castle.I also had posters, pictures and my drawings pinned on the walls.
I loved having loads of pictures hung up, mommy always liked to take plenty so I had loads. I had many with my two best friends Matty and Em, I also had many of me and mommy, and me and daddy and some of all 3 of us. And then recently, I had some photos with Uncle Freddie. We'd been on a few trips the three of us, mainly just for a picnic in the park, but we'd also been to the beach a few times.
I grabbed my colouring book and crayons before leaving my room once more, but as I walked down I heard mommy and Uncle Freddie talking in hushed tones; curiosity getting the better of me I decided to sneak a listen to there conversation.
"Did you actually invite him?" Uncle Freddie asked mommy.
"Of course I invited him; he's her father for god sake. But he said he didn't want to come, he said he wouldn't come to anything if you were there. He already things we were having an affair before I left!" Mommy replied.
"Well then I won't go, that way her dad can go!" Uncle Freddie exclaimed, sitting down at the table. I wanted Uncle Freddie there, but if that meant daddy could come then maybe I'd be okay with him not coming.
"I couldn't go and be with him on my own, and anyway, you and I both know he still wouldn't go. You're just an excuse, honestly I think the next time Le will see his face will be when he needs something from her. You know what kind of guy he is Freddie, you always warned me about him in college and I never listened and now he doesn't want anything to do with his own daughter just because I left him!" Mommy told him, stopping her sewing for a minute.
"You can't blame yourself for not leaving there sooner Sammy, the important thing is that you have left now!" Uncle Freddie spoke, standing up and moving round to Mom to give her a hug; was daddy a bad person?
"I know, but I can't help thinking how much better my life would have been if I'd just listened to you and Carly instead of sticking round for so long!" mommy told him, wrapping her arms round him, a few tears escaping her eyes.
"Don't think like that, you've got to see the positives sides. Like if you'd left him straight away then you wouldn't have Lydia, and she's the most important thing in your life. Wouldn't it be awful without her here?" Uncle Freddie told mommy, I hope she'd say yes.
"Of course she is, I couldn't imagine my life without her, I just wish she didn't have to have him as her father. She deserves someone who loves her and cares for her, not someone who uses her because he wants to try get me back. Remember that day I went and got our stuff back form him, I told him he could see Le anytime he wanted and all he said was I'll see her when you come back, and otherwise I want nothing to do with either of you two. That's how awful he is Freddie; she's his daughter for fuck sake!" Mommy was crying heavily now, and I knew she must be angry because she never said swear words, that was just daddy who said them.
Uncle Freddie was trying to calm her down, he still had his arms wrapped around her as he lifted her from the seat, sat in it himself and brought her down onto his lap, the same way mommy does to me when I'm upset over something.
"Come on Sammy, calm down, he's not worth any of this upset or anger. I know the world seems crap right now, but it's going to get better. You will find someone who actually loves you and cares about you, who will love Lydia like he's his own. You don't need him, and you never will." Uncle Freddie exclaimed rubbing mommy's back with his hand. Mommy's tears began to subside and she claimed down, grabbing a tissue from the side to wipe her eyes with.
"Thanks for been here!" mommy told Freddie, her voice even quieter.
"What are best friends for" he chucked in reply, giving her a quick squeeze. Then it all happened really quickly, suddenly mommy was kissing Uncle Freddie, and not like the other times where she's kissed his cheek, but right on the lips. They seemed to kiss for about 3 seconds before they both realised what was happening and pulled apart, mom leaping up from Freddie's lap and almost crashing into the dress model in the process.
"Sorry!" mom mumbled to him.
"It's alright," he whispered back, standing up from the seat for mommy to sit back down. She sat in it without making eye contact with him.
"Lydia, have you found your colouring book yet?" she then shouted as she began to get back to work, I guessed that was my cue to come back into the living room, although I would not be letting them know I'd heard and seen everything. But I'm glad I did listen, because now I know the real reason why I don't see daddy.
I was on next and my nerves were getting the best of me, I was certain I was going to throw up or worse, forget my lines and dance. Mom had made my costume amazingly, and even the teacher had complemented it greatly. My hair had the green running through it and mom had also used her special curling irons to make my looser curls tighter and cuter.
The act before the Christmas tree's finished and I felt a thick lump in my throat as the reindeers all trampled off the stage. Matty, who was a reindeer, caught my eye as I stood up and he went to take a seat and gave me a thumbs up as a good luck sort of sign. I walked on stage and took my place beside my partner Katie; I spotted mommy who was sat in the second row, smiling up at me like any proud mother. I spotted Uncle Freddie, who'd moved to crouch down in the isle, holding his camera ready to film my performance. He caught my eye and gives me a big smile as well, and seeing everyone I loved having faith in me just give me the urge to be good, and swallow my fears and nerves.
I managed to get through the performance without a hitch, I managed to remember all my moves and song lyrics; I walked up to front, my hand in Katie and James' as all us Christmas Trees took a bow, I spotted mommy and Freddie clamping wildly and I'm sure mommy wolf whistled once as a joke. We walked back off stage and sat in our seats, Matty turning round and giving me another thumbs up.
We were one of the last acts of the night, so soon enough the show was over and we were been taken back to the classroom to collect out stuff and wait for our parents to show up. Mommy wasn't long, and she showed up with big open arms for a hug, picking me up and embracing me even tighter.
"She was an amazing Christmas Tree!" my teacher said coming up to mommy, and shaking hands with Freddie who had appeared beside mom.
"She was our little star!" mommy replied as she set me back down, I moved over to Freddie who held his arms out for a hug too, I hugged him too as he lifted me off my feet and sat me on his hip. The teacher smiled before heading to speak to some other parents.
"That was amazing baby girl!" mommy told me, tickling my tummy slightly, but probably not hard enough so I didn't accidently kick Freddie or something.
"Did you get it all on camera?" I asked them, not to either one specifically.
"We did, wait till everyone see's how excellent you were at Christmas!" Freddie replied as mommy picked up my bag which contained the clothes I'd wore to come, she clearly wasn't making me change.
"Well come on you two, how about we head to the car; and since you were such an amazing Christmas Tree we'll stop by and get you an ice cream from McDonalds. I nodded my head eagerly as we headed outside towards Freddie's car, and as I leaned my head on his shoulder all thoughts on my dad and their accidently kiss were momentarily gone from my head.
A/N: sorry it took a while to update, but hopefully this isn't a disappointment, and remember, review to give me inspiration and make me want to write more