Author's Note: Hey, y'all! Firstly, let me offer my humblest apologies for the very long wait. Secondly, let me thank you all for hanging in there. And thirdly, I think there may have been a couple of reviews that I missed and didn't get to reply to. So, I apologize to anyone I missed, and please don't be offended – it's not personal. With that said…
To Your Spell-Binding Lover: I've learned that the "Squee!" is always a good sign. :P Most likely they'll all be in Catherine's, but I'll think about maybe doing a few in Gil's. Thank you for reviewing!
To Sebi: I'm so glad to hear that you like it. I sure hope you continue to enjoy it…and review…-hint hint-. Thank you for reviewing!
It's the end of shift, and I knock on Gil's office door. He looks up from some papers on his desk.
"Hey, Cath," he says. "Did you get the results back yet on our…case?" My guess is he's trying to be subtle about it, and he's not doing a very good job.
"No, not yet," I say. I decide to tell him the truth. "Actually, that's what I came here to talk to you about."
"Oh?" he asks, arching an eyebrow and removing his glasses, only breaking eye contact with me for an instant.
Wringing my hands, I walk a few steps into his office. Gesturing back at the door, I ask if I may close it and he tells me that that would be fine. I close it and come right out with what's been on my mind. "Actually…I haven't even sent it out yet."
Gil, as always, manages to maintain the same stoic look on his face, and somehow, beyond my comprehension, doesn't look surprised.
I'm not quite sure how to continue. How can I tell him how I feel? I can barely explain it to myself! How can I tell him that I don't want to know if he's Lindsey's father because it means that if we ever started a relationship, I'd never know if it was just because he was being a good father, or (dare I say it?) he actually loved me? How can I explain that after what I put Eddie through for cheating on me, I could never bear the guilt of facing the fact that I had, just once, cheated on Eddie? These are things I can hardly explain to myself. How can I possibly explain them to another (supposedly) human being? And then, of course, there's the whole issue of what I would tell Lindsey. Seriously, I've messed her up enough without giving her a new father.
I choose my words carefully as I sit down and begin to speak. "You know, when I first found out that Eddie cheated on me, I was mad. Do you know what I did?"
Gil shrugs.
"I slapped him on the face. Pounded his chest a few times. I yelled at him – a lot. Clawed his arms – broke a nail doing it, too. Hurt like hell." I chuckle wryly. "I threw things at him – a vase, a tennis ball, the TV remote. A few of his CD cases. Damn near picked up Lindsey and hucked her at him!" I laugh again, but this time, I mean it. "The point is, Gil, I was mad. And the whole neighbourhood knew it, too, Lindsey included." Here comes the tricky part. I'd better be careful what I say and how I say it. "She saw all of it, up close and personal, though she was too young to understand what we were fighting about. There is no doubt in my mind that she remembers that fight." I lean forward a bit. "Gil, let's be blunt with each other." I stress the next thing I say. "I cheated on Eddie with you." I stop for a minute. I'm not quite sure what to say next, but thankfully, Gil fills in the blanks.
"So you think that now, she'd understand the fight between you and Eddie, and she'd recognize the hypocrisy," he says, more as a statement than as a question.
I sigh in relief. "Glad we understand each other."
You know, people always criticize Gil for not being observant to human nature. And, for the most part, he's not. But every once in a while, he surprises me. Now is one such time.
"Would you rather get it tested and not tell Lindsey?"
I sigh in relief again. That must be enough, because he nods and looks back down at the papers on his desk. I lean forward curiously and, and, changing the subject, ask, "What do you have there?"
He holds up the paper. "Ecklie's been on my case all week about these stupid things. It's evaluation season again."
"Ah…" I say, knowing exactly how he feels about Ecklie and evaluations (and sharing many of the same opinions). I know that if it were up to him, Gil wouldn't do evaluations. He'd rather just deal with problems as they arise (which for the most part, he does). "What did you say about me?" I tease.
"Actually, I haven't done yours yet. This is Nick's."
I might as well ask, now that we're on the subject. "Could you do my evaluation before I send out the test?" I hurry to add, "I mean, I know that you're not biased, and you're practically the most objective person on the team, but I'd feel better about it."
"Sure," he assures. "I'll do yours next."
"Alright. Let me know when we have to do our little interview thing, okay? I have to get home to Linds."
"Say hi to her for me," Gil requests.
"Will do," I promise as I rise out of the chair. Feeling as though I can breathe again because I'm so relieved, I leave his office.
Author's Note: I hate to say it, but I'm going to disappear again for a while. Please enjoy the chapter, and I promise that I will be back! Thank you in advance to those of you who review!