Sharon shakes her head, looking at the text message received from her daughter that she wouldn't be able to make it. She sighs, having already pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. Slowly glancing through the rear view mirror of her Honda, to the other mirror in the back seat. Rusty had set it up so she could see Kate while she was driving.
She uses the few moments of quiet to her advantage. It was the first time in quite a while. Sharon removes her glasses, gently rubbing the bridge of her nose before placing them back onto her face.
She stares in front of her, the sight of Andy's hurt face running through her mind. Picking her hand up, she studies the golden rings she had worn for what seemed forever. She runs her thumb on the underside of them, spinning them on her slender finger.
This was normal for her. These rings, she was used to. She had worn them for over thirty years and they meant strength to her. They mean something she overcame. However, they also mean safety to her. They mean the ability to go to a bar with a friend and not be hit on by a dozen shady men.
It was a symbol to her children of perseverance and faith.
Her heart was screaming at her that they didn't mean anything anymore. The man was dead and their love was dead long before he was. This safety, she wasn't willing to part with. The prospect of losing the safety terrified her. Her brain was telling her to keep the safety.
She closes her eyes a moment, leaning forward onto her steering wheel. The thought of Andy's strong arms around her as they lie in bed. The smell of his musk as her head rests under his jaw, over his shoulder. The way his thick hands run their way up her hip. Then, over the swell of her engorged, milk-laden breast. The feeling of his lips against her own.
Her eyes snap open as she quickly picks her head up. "Why are you pushing him away?" She whispers to herself. She loved the silver haired man more than she had loved anyone. Why couldn't she trust him? Was it his recovering alcoholic status? She has seen that before, or so she believed. Andy has been sober for thirteen years. Not like Charles Raydor who went the longest for two years and ruined it on a bet. Andy wasn't that type of man. Maybe that's what helped her fall in love with him so quickly. She continually would tell herself, if it weren't for Kate, they wouldn't be together.
She knows that's a lie...almost.
Sharon glances to her rear view mirror to look at her daughter. If it weren't for her, she would have dismissed her feelings for Andy Flynn and stopped the relationship immediately in favor of her career, and even in small part, to her marriage and Catholic faith. However, a miracle occurred. A one night stand resulted in a beautiful little girl. A little girl that, at her age, rarely occurs naturally. God knew she wanted to end it, but God had a different plan in mind. Sharon smirks as her infant daughter smiles in her sleep, her father's smile.
She knows she must figure this out on her own.
Sharon starts the car finally and pulls away from the parking space, continually spinning the rings on her finger as she leans back and drives with one hand on the steering wheel. Hearing the oldies ring tone on her phone, she picks it up, bringing it to her ear without looking at the caller identification, "Captain Sharon Raydor."
"I go away for a while and you haven't the least bit of decency to even call me and tell me you had a baby? I had to hear it from Andrea Hobb's office!"
"Gavin." She grins, "I was wondering where you have been."
"No one even called me!"
"I apologize. I was a little busy at the time." She smirks, "I can assure you, there were no ulterior motives."
"Are you home now?"
"It was a few weeks ago, of course I'm-"
"I meant so I can come and see that gorgeous little thing." Gavin's grin could be heard through the phone.
Sharon smiles, "Give me ten minutes?"
"You can have all my time. I have nothing scheduled for today."
"Perfect. I think I need it." She touches the screen of her phone, disconnecting the call. Sharon can't help but grin. The ride was short home, she pulls onto her space in the street, noticing the man's car already there. She climbs out as he does the same, "I said ten minutes."
"I was already here when I called." Gavin grins, walking to her and hugging her tightly as they stand outside their cars.
"Thank you for coming." Sharon returns his hug.
"Let me help." He nods, looking into the back seat to see the sleeping infant, "What is she wearing?" Gavin slowly figures out the mechanism of the seat, lifting it from it's base.
"Hey, I like that outfit. Rusty bought it for her." She replies defensively.
"Of course he did." He holds the seat up to look at her face, "Your mother has a love affair with that boy."
Sharon rolls her eyes, "She's in love with him too, so don't bash him. Besides, that's my son."
Gavin smirks, "Like mother, like daughter." He walks toward the front door, following Sharon, "Am I allowed to wake her?"
"Not until Rusty gets home, no."
"Why?" He raises an eyebrow.
"She will be hungry."
"And you can't feed her?"
She sighs, "Fine, do what you want." She waves for him to move to the living room as she hangs her purse. Sharon walks to the kitchen, "I didn't eat, so excuse me while I heat some left overs."
"No? I thought you had a schedule." Gavin teases, slowly attempting to figure out the buckling system to release the girl from her protective seat, "Have one for everything else."
Sharon gives him a look as she sits at the bar in the kitchen, "Oh, shut up." She smirks, "I'd give for a glass of wine."
"You can't drink?"
"I got rid of the bottle out of respect." She shrugs, sighing.
"Respect?"
"Andy is a recovering alcoholic. He's been sober for thirteen years."
"You have a type, Sharon."
Sharon shrugs, "Possibly." She smirks, "At least I got it right this time."
Finally figuring it out, Gavin slowly takes the girl from the seat, "Uncle Gavin is going to buy you much better clothes. If your mother called and told me that you were here, I would have ran out that instant."
She rolls her eyes, getting the pre-made food from the microwave and returning to her seat, "And what do you plan on buying her?"
"This girl is going to be in nothing except what I can find at Neiman Marcus."
"She has grown three inches in only a few weeks. I'm sure those clothes-"
"When she grows out of them, I'll buy her more. A thing this gorgeous deserves only the best." He smirks, glancing over his shoulder to his friend, "Besides, I have no one else to spend it on. I'm an only child. Only fitting that I spend all my money on my oldest friend's child and spoil them like I would a biological niece."
"Your oldest friend?" She raises an eyebrow.
"Sixteen years is a long time." He nods.
"Good answer."
"You thought I meant your age?" He looks back to the baby, grinning when she slowly looks at him and scowls, "She has your eyes."
"The first of my children to share that feature with me, by the way." She nods, "I'm pretty proud of it."
"As you should be. It's one of my favorite features of your face." He nods, awkwardly holding the baby.
"If you drop her-"
"Hold on." He settles her in the crease of his arm, "There we go." He smiles as the girl stares at him, "I'm like her fairy godfather."
"Are you Catholic?"
"My parents are...were..." He smirks, "Something like that..."
She chuckles, "I have a feeling Andy is going to put up Provenza for it, but if he doesn't, would you want to be her godfather?" Sharon shrugs, "I have to at least let him have that."
Gavin nods slowly, smiling, "No question about it. I'll be one to her regardless." He turns on the sofa, "Who are you asking for godmother?"
"Andrea Hobbs." She nods slowly, "If it weren't for her, we may have both been dead."
He smirks, "That sounds pretty perfect."
Sharon sighs, "She looked so sad when she came by. Depressed almost."
"Well," He shrugs, "Maybe we should take her out or something."
She smirks, "You said you were talking to her office?"
"Yes, she called about hiring me for her sister...something about the sister's husband beat her and is trying to take the kids and..." He shrugs, "She was a complete and total mess when she called. I could barely understand the poor thing."
Sharon tilts her head to the side, swirling the cranberry juice in her glass, "Think I should have my guys look into it?"
"You know, that wouldn't be such a bad idea." Gavin shakes his head, noticing the girl begin to pout, "Are you almost finished eating? I think she just figured out she was hungry."
Sharon waves a hand, taking her empty dish to the sink and rinsing it out before putting it in the dishwasher, "Something to drink?"
"I'll get it, take her."
She smirks, "I do enjoy watching you squirm, Gavin." She jogs over, taking her daughter from him. Sharon sighs when the girl cries harder, sitting on the sofa. "I apologize, but I'm just going to do this here." She says loudly over the infant's crying.
"I'm uninterested either way, honey, but its sweet that you think I would be offended." He smiles, shaking his head as he pours himself a glass of water from a pitcher in the refrigerator.
Sharon chuckles a little, unbuttoning her shirt and unclasping a side of her maternity bra. "Okay." She says softly to the small girl, positioning her and helping her latch on. She releases a breath she was holding as she hears the soft sounds of her daughter's suckling as opposed to her persistent crying.
"You were right. That's what she wanted." Gavin grins, returning to his place on the sofa. He leans over, watching.
Sharon raises an eyebrow, "Yes?"
"I don't mean to..." He shakes his head, "but what does that feel like?'"
"Oh." She smiles a little, "Well..."
Rusty trudges trough the entrance and corridor, groaning he he catches sight of her feeding the baby and throws a hand over his eyes, "Just whip it out anywhere?"
"She was screaming." Sharon smirks, "How was school?"
"I started my new AP courses today." Rusty rounds the corner to the kitchen, taking his hand from his eyes as he makes himself a snack.
"How did they go?"
"Boring as hell. My teacher for English is a pompous asshole." He decides on an apple, sinking his teeth into the yellow, shining flesh.
"Usually are when you're that smart." Gavin smirks, nodding.
"Rusty, I don't know if you've ever met my friend Gavin Baker." Sharon nods, pulling a baby blanket from the back of the sofa, "Gavin, this is my son Rusty."
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Baker." Rusty calls from the kitchen, "I'll shake your hand when she finishes feeding Kate."
"I understand. Please, sweetie, call me Gavin. Mr. Baker was my father's name." The man nods.
He rolls his eyes, nodding slowly, "Okay, Gavin."
"Sharon has told me so much about you." He rises from the sofa, walking over to the boy and extending his hand.
Rusty smirks, shaking his hand, "All of it absolutely terrible, I'm sure." He teases.
"All of it." Sharon calls out, smirking.
"Oh please, if it weren't for you, she'd be simply miserable...and unbearable." Gavin smirks.
"Okay." Rusty nods slowly, tossing the apple core into the trash, "I've got homework." He picks his back pack up, walking to his room as he shields his eyes from her.
"What a heart breaker." The taller man turns slowly, then motions to her, "You almost done?"
"This isn't something I can just speed along." Sharon shakes her head, glancing to him over her glasses.
Gavin pouts, taking his seat once more, "How have things been with Andy Flynn?"
"Things have been..." She adjusts the baby to the other breast, "He asked me to marry him."
"Did he?" He grins, "That is exciting."
"I said yes and he bought me this gorgeous ring, but..."
"No, no 'buts', honey. Where is the ring?" His eyes search her hands.
"I um..."She swallows, "I can't bring myself to take these off."
"What?"
She holds her hand out, showing him the thick golden rings, "I've worn these for thirty-two years."
"Yeah, but you don't always wear them." He shakes his head.
"I don't at work. That's all though."
"Why don't you wear them at work?"
"The diamond is a bit...large. In today's amounts, it could easily cost as much as six month's salary for some of them." She sighs, "Charlie came from old money. He never had to want or go without in his life. I think it was his downfall."
"You don't wear them because you don't want to upstage them and cause them to think poorly of you." He sees through her ruse quite easily, "You do wear them because well...well, they are comfortable."
"Yes."
"Can't you put them-"
"I can't...I'm not ready yet."
"Sharon, listen, sweetie." Gavin leans forward, touching her knee, "I'm sure you have plenty of necklaces. Wear them as a charm." He sighs, "Andy Flynn has put up with your insecurities for a while now. You owe him that ring on your finger."
"I owe him more than that." She glances down to her daughter as she finishes, pulling her shirt over her exposed flesh. Sharon picks the girl up to her shoulder, patting her back gently, kissing her head, "A lot more than that."