Elsa hoisted Callan up onto the table. "Okay think, Elsa, think," she murmured to herself. She ran into the kitchen. Elsa gasped when she burst through the batwing doors. She had forgotten how huge the kitchen really was. After some hesitation, she began rooting through every drawer and cupboard looking for a washrag. "Where does Hilde keep those damn things?" she wondered out loud. She finally found one, waved her hand over it, and froze it. She jogged back out to the dining room, and placed the cold cloth on Callan's forehead.
"There…" she exhaled, putting her hands on her hips. She looked down at the broken glass on the floor and sighed, running her fingers through her hair. She walked back into the kitchen to get a broom. Once back in the dining room, Elsa swept the glass into a small pile, swept the pile into a corner, and propped the broom up against the wall. She walked back over to the table, pulled out a chair near where Callan was laying, and fell into it. Resting her elbow on the table, she put her hand on her forehead and sighed. After about half an hour, she began to doze off. But her nap was cut short when she heard Callan starting to come to.
"Urf…" Callan groaned, trying to sit up.
"Callan, are you okay?" Elsa stood up.
"Your Majesty? What… where am I?" Callan asked. She sat up, and the cold rag fell off of her forehead and into her lap. She picked it up and showed it to Elsa. "What happened?"
"You passed out," Elsa said.
"Oh... did I?" Callan said casually.
"Um, yeah," Elsa said, perplexed by Callan's tone. "You don't sound very concerned. Is this something that happens often?"
Callan swung her legs around so they would hang off the edge of the table. She was suddenly very interested in the cold rag, hanging her head, trying hard not to look back at Elsa. Both girls were silent for a few minutes. Callan finally looked up and started scanning the room, still intent on not making eye contact with Elsa. "What's that pile of glass doing in the corner?"
"I put it there," said Elsa. "I wasn't really sure what else to do with it."
"I'll take care of it, Your Majesty," Callan said, hopping off of the table. She hobbled towards the corner, still a little uneasy on her feet. Her legs gave out on her, and she lunged up against the wall to catch herself.
"Oh, goodness, Callan," Elsa said, rushing over to her and helping her back to her feet. "Come on," she continued, helping Callan keep her balance as they both walked back to the table. "Here."
Callan eased into the chair that Elsa had been sitting in. She sighed and put her hand on her forehead
"Callan, what's going on?" Elsa asked.
"Nothing, Your Majesty."
"Callan," Elsa repeated, almost as if she were scolding her.
"Look, it's nothing, okay?" said Callan. Elsa crossed her arms. "Okay, it's not nothing, it's something. But it's not something you talk about with your boss. Or your Queen, for that matter. So please, Your Majesty, please don't give this another thought."
"Then don't talk to your boss, or your Queen!" Elsa said, throwing her arms up, releasing snowflakes into the air. "Talk to Elsa, Callan! You can talk to me!"
"I… just don't think so. I'm sorry," Callan said, starting to stand up. But with a flick of her wrist, Elsa froze Callan's feet to the floor. "Hey!"
"Sorry Callan, but something is obviously going on with you, and I don't want it to keep happening, because it's obviously taking it's toll on you. If you would just tell me, maybe I can help."
"No one can help me, Your Majesty. It's not really…" she started. "It's complicated."
"What do you mean complicated? What can be so complicated that you can't even say-"
"I'm anorexic!" Callan finally blurted out.
Elsa was silent, but her mouth was still open, failing to find words to say. "I… uh, wow. Um," she finally stammered after a few seconds. She absentmindedly unfroze Callan's feet, but she stayed seated.
"I was, anyway," Callan went on. "I thought I was over it. I thought I was better. But I guess I had a relapse."
"A relapse?" Elsa asked.
"I passed out because my blood sugar was low. My blood sugar was low because I haven't eaten in a while," Callan said reluctantly, starting to twiddle her thumbs like she always did when she was nervous.
"How long has it been?" Elsa asked, trying to switch her tone from confused to concerned.
"Uh, three days," Callan said softly.
"Three days?" shouted Elsa.
"Shh, shh!" Callan jumped out of the chair. "You'll wake everyone! Please…"
"Three days?" Elsa repeated, her voice taking a slightly angry tone.
"Yes, Your Majesty, three days. I was nervous about coming here. I was nervous that I wasn't good enough, or pretty enough or something, to be here. I wanted to make sure I looked as perfect as possible when I came to work for you and Princess Anna."
"By starving yourself?" Elsa yelled, a puff of cold air exiting her mouth.
"Why are you yelling at me?" cried Callan.
"Because I don't understand how anyone could do that to themselves!"
"Your Majesty, please keep your voice down! I don't want anyone to wake up."
Elsa sighed. "Okay. I'm sorry," she said calmly.
"I told you, it's complicated. But you won't let it go," said Callan, now upset.
"Well excuse me for thinking that you might want help."
"I went through it alone and cured myself once, I can do it again."
Elsa took a deep breath, trying to keep from raising her voice again. "Okay. But just so you know, you don't have to," she said, turning around and walking towards the stairs.
"Your Majesty, wait." Elsa stopped a few stairs up. "Why do you care?" Callan asked her.
"What do you mean why do I care?" Elsa said, walking back over to Callan. "You collapsed right in front of me. What was I supposed to do, let you hit the floor then just walk away?"
Callan blushed and lowered her head, realizing that was probably a dumb question. "I'm sorry I snapped at you," she said.
Elsa took a deep breath. "It's fine. You were speaking defensively. I'm sorry I was prodding."
"You weren't prodding, you were worried about me," Callan reached out and placed a hand on Elsa's arm, then quickly recoiled. "It was nice of you, Your Majesty. Thank you."
Elsa nodded. "You're welcome." She paused. "I know you said it's complicated, but do you think you could tell me how this all happened?"
"Sure," Callan said, pulling out a chair for Elsa then sitting down in hers. "Well for starters, I wasn't always this skinny. Before my mother passed I was actually a little chubby. But then when I had to start cooking for my father and the boys, there usually wasn't any food left for me. Then I had started losing the weight." She noticed how Elsa was looking at her, listening attentively, and lowered her head, embarrassed.
"I liked the way I was starting to look. So even when there were opportunities for me to get something to eat, I wouldn't. I guess you could say got addicted to not eating," Callan continued. "And on the occasions when I would eat, I just felt terrible about myself, as if the tiny meal I had would reverse all that I had become. So after every time I ate, I would starve myself all over again to make up for it. I was so afraid of getting fat again." Callan sighed. "I was really messed up. And it left it's mark."
"What do you mean?" asked Elsa.
"Do you mind if I show you?" Callan asked. Elsa shook her head no. Callan stood up and unbuttoned all except for the top two buttons on her nightshirt.
Elsa first noticed Callan's almost flat stomach bracketed by her two protruding hip bones. As her gaze shifted upward she saw Callan's ribs; she couldn't miss them. They stuck out so badly that they looked as if they were trying to rip right through her skin. Someone could have played them like a xylophone.
"Oh, goodness," Elsa said. She blinked a couple of times and tried to find something else to look at.
"That's what it does to you," Callan said, buttoning her shirt back up. "In addition to wrecking your blood sugar, that is. It makes you look like a walking skeleton."
"How did you cure yourself?" Elsa asked after a few seconds.
"I just got smart. Instead of killing myself after eating something gross, I just cooked healthier foods for myself. The boys still ate slop," she laughed, "but I ate the good stuff. Stuff that didn't make me look or feel bad."
"Well good for you," Elsa smiled and patted herself on the knees. She stood up and pushed her chair in.
Callan stood up also. "I'm sorry. That was really personal and heavy," she said. "I guess… I just kept it in for so long that when I finally worked up the nerve to tell someone, I just had to let it all out."
"It's fine, Callan," Elsa said, waving off the apology.
"Look, the thing is," said Callan, talking a couple steps towards Elsa. "I didn't exactly want anyone to know."
"Well now I know."
"I know. It's just, I just feel that… I don't know, I'm just worried that-"
"I won't tell anyone, Callan. Don't worry," Elsa smiled. "You can trust me."
Callan smiled and exhaled a breath of relief. "I hear trust is a good thing to have," she said.
Elsa's smile faded when she remembered Anna's words. She knew her younger sister's trust was misplaced. If Anna knew what was going on with Kristoff, she sure as hell wouldn't trust her anymore.
"Yeah, well, it can be," she said, taking a few steps back. "I'm going back to bed now. You're invited to eat breakfast with Princess Anna and I, if you would like. You and Hilde can fix something that you would like."
"Thank you, Your Majesty. That sounds great."
"Good. See you in a couple of hours, then." Elsa quickly ascended the stairs, ran into her room and slammed the door. "Trust..." she whispered to herself. She sighed, slipped back into bed, and pulled the covers up over her head.