Laid out on the roof of the chapel watching the birds soar across the sky, Helga ignored the vibration of her cellphone for the eleventh time as the gentle autumn breeze ruffled the hem of her robe, exposing her sun kissed thighs. Although she knew she shouldn't be upset, that wearing something blue was just a 'stupid' cultural tradition and that she shouldn't let it ruin her wedding, she couldn't help but feel frustrated.
"Get it together, Helga ole' girl. You are marrying Arnold for cripes sake. You're happy remember!?"
Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes and retained the air in her belly while trying to recall long-forgotten meditation techniques Arnold had taught her when they had first started dating. But that had been so many years ago and she was at the point of eruption, much like a long, overdue, dormant volcano. Rather than expelling the air with a quiet and even 'swoosh', it escaped through her pursed lips in a low huff as she squeezed her eyes shut to stifle the wet prickling feeling building at their edges.
"Why can't anything in my life just be perfect for once?" she whispered to herself.
In truth, Helga was surprised by her own actions. So much time had passed since her last anxiety attack, since the last time she felt so desperate. At some point, she had actually considered going to retrieve the bracelet, but that thought had been quickly disposed of when she realized it would make her late to her own ceremony. Instead, Helga opted to take a breather on the roof knowing that she needed the space to calm her nerves.
She sighed, focusing on how the biting chill of the wind cooled her skin for a brief moment before the sun once again warmed it with its loving rays. "A metaphor for life really. You have to get passed all the bitter and chilling disappointments." She whispered. "In fact, you've gotten pass those moments. You're a World famous author, you are an English professor of poetry and you've even managed to win over 'the boy with the corn flowered hair, your beloved and your despair'." Rolling her eyes at her own sentimentality, Helga turned on her side and curled into a ball.
She took a deep breath, gathering energy from within as she prepared to return to the others. Rolling flat onto her back she took one last look at the sky only to cringe as a soft plopping sound alerted her to the landing of something on her right cheek. Reaching her long delicate fingers to her face, she struggled to reign in her temper as she touched the warm gooey liquid. 'Did a bird really just take a shit on my face on my wedding day?'
Looking at her fingers, Helga stared at the offending green liquid. "Well fuck you too universe" she managed to choke out before she began violently retching.
Rising to her knees and doubling over, she swiped aggressively at her cheek with the back of her hand trying to scrub herself clean as she broke down into a panic attack. Tears poured from her eyes with abandon and her chest tightened as if death held it in its vice-like grip, yet she tried hard to take comfort in the feeling of her wildly palpitating heart. She was heaving and struggling to maintain the breath that was caught in her throat when she heard someone harshly whisper her name.
Helga crawled on all fours towards the west end of the roof-top where she saw Sid looking through the bushes. She heard her name again. This time she crawled frantically to the North end of the rooftop where she saw Stinky and Harold searching the Gardens outside of the church. Too far to have been the source of her name, she looked slightly to her right and saw Gerald heading toward the parking lot. Eyes widening with sudden realization, Helga reached down to pat her pockets. Feeling nothing in them, she turned abruptly, slipping a few shingles down the roof before crawling back to her original spot where she located her phone. Picking it up with shaking fingers, she began to type out a text.
Arnold was alarmed. He wasn't sure what exactly he was expecting when he read Helga's text demanding that he opened his window and then blindfolded himself, but whatever it was, he knew it couldn't be good. It wasn't her strange demands that put him on edge really, but the way they were written out. Not one to ignore punctuation in her text messages she was definitely not one to send out a text with so many mistyped words.
Arnold bit his lip as he searched for something to blindfold himself with. He took a precursory glance around the room before his eyes settled on a closet. He covered the distance in 3 large steps, yanked the closet open and quickly settled on an ugly green colored tie hanging from a wooden hanger. Then, walking towards the window, he pushed its frames outward. He took a quick look at the bright blue sky, closed his eyes and silently prayed that it would continue to be a perfect day. Sauntering over to the bed, he sidestepped the armoire chair so he could plop down and take out his phone to text a quick 'done' before blindfolding himself with the tie.
He heard Helga before he saw her - an easy feat since he was blindfolded- but what he heard almost made him rip the blindfold from his eyes immediately. There was violent heaving and then a crash in the room. Standing abruptly, he hurried towards the window, calling out her name as he stumbled over what he could only assume was the chair.
"Helga!"
Her body struck him with so much force, he stumbled backwards several steps before losing his footing and falling over with Helga still clinging to him.
"Helga! Helga, what's wrong?" Arnold snaked an arm around her waist pulling her firmly against him as he reached up to tear off his blindfold, only to be stopped by an aggressive slap to his hand.
"N-no" she heaved. "H-have to k-k-keep it on"
"Helga, don't be ridiculous" he reached up again, "what's wrong?" Helga clung to his hand tugging on it with the strength of her full weight, once again preventing him from removing his blindfold.
"C-can't see me be-before the wedding." Arnold's eyes widened.
"Helga, are you having a panic attack?" The answer was evident as she continued to gasp, clutching painfully at his muscular forearm.
Over the many years of being together, Arnold had learned Helga's body, but more specifically, where it was in relation to his. That is why, even when blindfolded, he was able to easily find her thighs, fingers gliding past satin fabric to take hold of them as she involuntarily moved her arms to cling to his neck. In one swift movement, he sat up, pulling her thighs so that she was now straddling his lap. He reached up, cupping her cheeks with large calloused hands to pull her forward in a tentative kiss.
Before she could respond, Arnold wrapped both arms around her waist, muscles taut as he pulled her flush against his chest. He hated the feel of her body trembling. It was so unlike the Helga he knew and it scared him. Bending his head so that it was resting against her shoulder he whispered into her right ear, "Helga, breathe with me". He began to concentrate on his own breathing, focusing on the pattern Dr. Bliss had taught him to help him deal with these kinds of situations. He inhaled slowly for a count of 5, retained his breath for a count of 2 and then exhaled once again using the 5 count. Helga placed her palms on his chest, clutching his shirt with her left hand and positioning her right over his heart. It took 3 cycles for her to begin attempting the same breathing pattern, but he smiled against her neck when she did.
"That's it darling, just breathe from your diaphragm." he encouraged.
The two blondes sat on the pushed carpet breathing together for what felt like hours, but had actually only been less than 10 minutes. "Arnold, I think I am okay now, thanks."
Hearing those words escape her lips lifted a weight from Arnold's heart and he gently kissed the side of her neck. He continued his ministrations up her neck and along her jaw so that his lips brushed against her right ear. "Helga, I think you have some explaining to do."
She flinched, abruptly pushing him away. "Fine, but you may want to keep your lips away from my face casanova, unless you want those precious puckers of yours tainted with the excrements of pigeon man's adopted children."
Arnold's brows furrowed in confusion before rising towards his hairline. "Helga, you can't possibly mean..." Arnold face blanched.
" You've got that right football head."
Author's Note: I've made some small changes in my first couple of chapters and even blended in some chapters together with the hope that it makes the story flow better. Next chapter up on like 3 days. Promise. As always, I really appreciate reviews. I don't really like my writing style, so if you have any advice, or any blog suggestions for writing, thanks in advance!