Disclaimer: Anything you recognise from any of the books belongs to J. K. Rowling, not me. Pity.

Thoughts, Letters and emphasised words

Normal speech

Chapter 2

Harry let out a sigh of relief when he stepped back onto the grounds of the school and he let the familiar, comforting, welcoming magic wash over him. He closed his eyes for a minute, revelling in the feeling, and let his body relax.

"This place is really important to you, isn't it?" Severus asked, having noticed Harry's actions.

"Yes. It's the only place that has ever felt like home to me. The magic of the place calls to me and soothes me and keeps me grounded. All of my happiest memories took place here."

"What about Godric's Hollow?"

"I can't remember it, except in memories and nightmares of the night..." he whispered, keeping his eyes shut against the tears that threatened to fall.

"So you've never seen the graves?" Severus asked. Harry opened his eyes and looked at the other man with confusion. "Your parent's graves," the potions master elaborated. Harry shook his head no before continuing on up towards the castle, Severus following and muttering under his breath about the headmaster and his meddling. About halfway up to the castle, Harry stopped dead in his tracks, panic slowly filling his body as his eyes stayed trained on the figure waiting on the distant steps.

"Severus," he whispered, "Can you make him go away please?" His voice was slightly pleading. The professor watched as Harry's full shields came up, almost automatically, and his face and eyes gained a closed off expression, though very few people would realise that there was an emotional shield in place.

"I'll try. We have to head up that way anyway. When we get to the school, head down to my quarters and stay there. Password's 'Serpensortia'. I wouldn't put it past the Headmaster to spy on you using the Order to work out where you are staying, so be careful," Severus explained as they continued in up towards the castle. Harry nodded in response.

The pair walked in comfortable silence up to the castle. Harry kept his eyes trained on the ground in front of his feet whilst he relaxed slowly, realising that Severus would protect him if he needed it. As he walked, a neutral expression fixed itself onto his face. They walked up the stairs slowly, sweeping past the waiting figure without as much as a glance in his direction. Severus opened the door and was turned to face Harry when the other person spoke.

"Harry, my boy," the Headmaster greeted them. Harry winced, visible only to Severus, and went to continue on into the castle. "It is good to see you out and about. We've been worried for you. Do you feel up to joining us in the Great Hall for dinner?"

"No," Harry replied curtly, standing with his back to the Headmaster. "Anyway, what do you care, you haven't before."

"Harry, we care a lot," the Headmaster began but was cut off when Harry let out an incredulous laugh.

"You care about me? When did that start? It surely wasn't when you placed me with the Dursleys when I was but a year old, defenceless and an orphan. You knew exactly what they were like and yet you still put me, your only hope for the future, with abusive muggles who hated magic and anything that didn't fit in with their idea of normal. And it wasn't when you laid test after test for me at school, with no regards for the danger my life was in. And it definitely wasn't when you portkeyed me to your office after the debacle in the Ministry and, merely an hour after I lost my godfather, you proceeded to turn my world on its head with that blasted prophecy. And you certainly didn't seem to care this summer when I was sending brief three word notes, some of them barely legible due to the pain I was in when writing them. Why didn't you send somebody to check then, rather than when the notes stopped. What if Hedwig hadn't been killed, would I still be there, lying broken and bruised, maybe even dead? You only seemed to start caring once you realised that your worst fears had come true, that I had been abused and may well have been broken beyond all repair."

"That's not true. I have always cared for you Harry. I was inordinately fond of both of your parents, and I have always cared deeply for you. But, as I have told you before, I always believed that Privet Drive was the safest place for you. And until this summer, it has been."

"Just because there weren't any visible bruises, doesn't mean that I wasn't abused before this summer. My treatment before was still abuse, it may have been more mental than physical, but it was still abuse. And I don't call dementors dropping in for a visit very safe at all. And do you forget that Voldemort now carries some of my blood in his veins. That would surely let him pass through the wards, wouldn't you think?"

"I'm so sorry Harry," the Headmaster whispered.

"Then prove it. If you are sorry, and if you really care about me, leave me alone to heal, give me some space until I am ready to deal with everybody. And tell the others as well." The headmaster nodded, but Harry didn't seem to need a response because he had already continued on into the castle with the potions master. He made his way rapidly down through the dungeon corridors, head held high and shoulders squared. He waited patiently outside Severus' rooms as the man in question muttered the password and let the pair in.

As soon as he was inside the room, the tension left Harry's body. He heard the door shut and, seconds later, his shields fell, he began to shake and tears filled his eyes. Almost immediately he felt a privacy ward go up and the bags he was carrying were taken out of his hands before he felt himself pulled into a hug. Before he knew it, he was sobbing uncontrollably into Severus' chest. They remained that way, Harry crying out his grief, anger, relief, panic and stress, whilst Severus whispered comforting words in his ear, until Harry pulled back, tears all gone.

"Thank you," he muttered, wiping his eyes and blushing slightly.

"It's not a problem, Harry," The potions master said. "Now, let's get you and your stuff back to your room, it's almost time for dinner and I don't want you getting ill. Come on," he urged, picking up some of the bags filled with Harry's shopping and moving over to the fireplace. Harry picked up the rest of his shopping and followed the older wizard. In seconds they were in Harry's room and putting all the shopping down by the sofa. At that exact moment, the food arrived.

"Would you like some company for dinner tonight, or would you rather have some time alone?"

"I think I'd like to be alone for a while." Harry replied. "I need to sort myself out mentally."

Severus nodded before moving to leave. "Well, if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask," he said just before he floo'd back to his own rooms.

HPHPHP

When Severus entered Harry's rooms, he found the Gryffindor curled up in his favourite chair, book open on his lap whilst his hands were shuffling a deck of cards. Alerting the other to his presence, he moved to sit down opposite him. Worried slightly, as this was how Harry seemed to be spending most of his time since their shopping trip two weeks before, Severus quickly came up with a plan. But first, he wanted to satisfy his curiosity.

"Why did you buy Tarot cards? You're not continuing with divination are you?"

"No," Harry replied. "The cards, they seemed to call to me in the shop. And they relax me, keep me calm. Every now and then I get the urge to pick one, or lay a couple down to see what they can tell me. I've been thinking about Hogwarts a lot recently, and the cards reflect that." He said as he lay down three cards in a row. "Right, these are saying that in the past I have faced stressful events and tasks, and these have affected my health. At the present, I am recuperating and retreating away from life and the real world. In the future, I will be faced with new beginnings. A lot of the cards I have been picking recently have hinted at change." Whilst he had been talking, Harry had pulled a small book out of his pocket and written something down.

Shaking his head slightly in wonder, Severus got to the reason he had come to the room in the first place. "Harry, would you be willing to come and help me in the lab, preparing the potions needed for the hospital wing?" he asked. "You're spending too much time cooped up in here reading. And as you've just said, you are retreating away from the real world. I think you need to start spending some of your time away from your safe haven. I'm not saying that you have to eat in the Great Hall or anything, just come to help me in the potions lab. However, it is your choice, and if you don't feel ready, I will understand."

Harry studied his face for a minute before smiling slightly and nodding. "Okay," he said, picking up the cards and putting them, along with the book he'd been writing in, back into his pocket. "But can I come back here at any time?" he asked as he put the book he had been reading down on the coffee table.

"Of course," Severus replied as he led the way out of the room and round to his private potions lab. "You are free to leave whenever you like. Now which potion would you like to work on?" he asked, indicating a checklist on one wall.

"Pepper-Up I think," Harry replied, moving towards the workstation Severus indicated. He sat down and read through the instructions before quietly getting to work. The pair worked in silence for a while, the physical actions of cutting, grinding and stirring relaxing Harry more than he thought they would.

"Harry," Severus called quietly, unwilling to disturb the calm that had swept over the younger wizard. Harry looked up quickly to show that he was listening before returning his attention to the potion he was stirring. "The Headmaster gave me your Firebolt this morning, so I could return it to you. It's in my office. Do you want it now or later?"

"Later," Harry answered as he added the last ingredient to the cauldron, which let out a cloud of red smoke before clearing to reveal a red-orange liquid. "This has got to simmer for an hour, and I want to see it finished. Until then, I think I'll work on another potion."

"I'd suggest the nutrient potion. You'll be able to finish that in the time you'll be waiting for the Pepper-Up." Severus replied, indicating another workstation. Harry nodded and quickly cleaned up the area he had just been working on before moving seats and getting to work. Just over three quarters of an hour later, he added the last ingredient. Stirring carefully, he looked up just in time to see the potions master seal the last of his vials, freshly filled with what Harry guessed was dreamless sleep potion, judging by its colour. Returning his attention to the potion, Harry watched as it turned into the stated brown colour before extinguishing the flame and beginning to fill the vials left next to the cauldron.

Severus, not wanting to disturb the young Gryffindor, made his way quietly out of the room and into his office, quickly picking up the broomstick and making his way back to the lab. He found Harry in exactly the same place, sealing the last of the vials of nutrient potion. Harry quickly cleaned up his work area before moving the now empty cauldron and all the other equipment over to the sink. He left them to soak before moving back over to his other cauldron just in time, as it let out another cloud of red smoke.

Severus watched as he extinguished the flames and began filling the empty vials, amazed at the sense of serenity that was present in the younger wizard. Shaking his head, he turned to his attention to cleaning up his workstation. Using a simple charm, he cleaned the surface, cauldron and equipment before sending everything back to its proper place with another charm. Checking on Harry's progress, he moved over to the sink and used the same charms on the equipment Harry had used. Noticing that Harry was sealing the last of the vials, he moved over to him and quickly finished off the cleaning up by casting the same two charms again.

"Thanks," Harry said quietly, moving all the newly filled vials to where Severus indicated. "Do you mind if I leave now?" he asked, looking round at all the ingredients and equipment set out for the other potions on the list.

"Not at all. I said you could leave at any time. But don't forget your broom." He indicated the Firebolt which was led on the table nearest the door. Harry grabbed it, smiled up at him and quickly left the room. With a sigh, Severus decided to forego any more brewing for the moment and moved to pack everything away.

HPHPHP

Harry let out a relieved sigh as soon as he kicked off from the ground. Flying had always been one of his favourite things to do, but he had forgotten how relaxing it could be. On a broom, he could leave all the expectations of him and his problems on the ground and zoom free, at least for a while. Wanting to blow away the cobwebs, Harry shot upwards quickly, coming to a halt when he felt he was high enough before diving steeply and swiftly, pulling up mere inches from the ground.

Smiling properly for the first time in months, Harry continued to fly around the pitch, losing track of the time. He only stopped when his stomach began to rumble. Checking the time, he realised that he had missed lunch, and that it was now dinnertime. Coming to a quick decision, he landed at the edge of the quidditch pitch. Sending his broom back up to his room with a muttered spell, Harry made his way back up to the castle.

He stopped in the entrance hall and took a deep breath before moving over to the doors to the Great Hall. Taking another deep breath to calm himself, and pasting a neutral expression on his face, he pushed them open.

HPHPHP

Albus looked up in confusion when he heard he doors to the Great Hall open, before stopping and staring with his forkful of food forgotten halfway to his mouth as he realised who had just entered the hall. Almost immediately a shocked silence fell across the hall as people noticed the figure in the doorway.

Oblivious to the stares he was receiving, or so it seemed to Albus, Harry made his way up the room, shoulders set, head held high and a neutral expression on his face. It was at this moment that he realised just how well Harry was able to hide what had happened to him, for looking at him you wouldn't be able to tell he had been abused to near death, and had lost his trust in most of those present. He watched as Harry took a seat next to Severus, as far away from the rest of those present as it was possible to be, and struck up conversation with the Potions Master. Though unable to hear what the pair were talking about, the Headmaster realised how well the pair got on, and how much Harry trusted the older wizard. Smiling slightly, he turned his attention to the witch sat next to him.

"It appears Severus was right." Minerva raised an eyebrow both in question and amazement. "Giving Harry back his broom has helped him regain some of his self confidence. And Harry has connected with him. Perhaps because Severus was his rescuer, or maybe he can tell that Severus can understand abuse better. I don't know, but I am glad to see Harry out and about."

"As am I," Minerva replied. "I have been really worried for him, and am glad he feels secure enough to venture up here for meals. However, there is a huge difference between facing a handful of staff members and facing hundreds of students. Do you think he is ready to deal with the school when it starts back?"

"He still has a week. I believe that he is capable of anything he puts his mind to, if he is left to do it at his own pace. I truly believe that he will be ready, and I will do anything to ensure that he feels safe. I want the boy to regain his trust in people, and am willing to wait as long as it takes."

"What if he never does? I mean, he's been suffering for years and no-one has ever shown any interest. He may be good at hiding it, but there were still signs, and none of us picked up on them, except maybe Severus. What if he never learns to trust again?"

"Then I will forever regret leaving him to deal with his relatives, when I knew what their opinions were, and for doing something to lose his trust." Albus replied sadly.

HPHPHP

Severus, though shocked when Harry entered the Great Hall, was not as surprised as he could have been. He knew that giving Harry his broom, something which gave him a part of his identity not linked to his fame, would help the young Gryffindor but he hadn't realised how quickly it would help. Despite the neutral mask he was wearing, Severus could tell that one afternoon of flying had given Harry some of his self confidence back. When the young man sat down next to him, he turned to him and smiled.

"Thank you for getting me my broom," Harry muttered, placing some food onto his plate. "You can't understand how much that means to me, and how much it has helped."

"That's not a problem Harry," Severus replied. "And I think I can tell how much it has helped. I mean to say yesterday you would not have even contemplated the idea of venturing in here for dinner. But I have to ask, did the potions making this morning help at all?"

"A little bit. Potions making is very soothing when you know what you're doing. Watching the potion change as you add each ingredient is so relaxing, I just never realised it before."

"Well I'm glad you feel that way. Would you be willing to come and help again tomorrow? Only I have lots of potions left to make, on top of preparing class lists and lesson plans. You are the only person in this castle that I trust enough to make the potions correctly, and I enjoy your company."

Harry smiled up at him. "I'd love to. But can you help me with something?" he asked, taking a sip of his drink. "I've been thinking today, and I've been wondering about some of my dreams. I think you some of them when I projected my memories at you." Severus nodded. "Well, I've been having them more often since my birthday. But I'm confused. I don't know who the people in the dreams are. Most of them take place here at Hogwarts, and I would almost certainly say that they are the founders, but there are five people not four." Harry sighed and continued, "But I've been having other dreams. These ones started on my birthday. They seem to be my memories or something like it. They focus a lot on my parents. I just don't understand why I am having them."

"How often do you get these dreams?" Severus asked.

"Almost every night, unless I'm having a vision or nightmare."

"They must be important then, if they are occurring so regularly. Have you researched dreams?" Harry shook his head no. "Then I suggest you do that the first chance you get. If you find anything too worrying or confusing, come and find me. We have dreams for a reason, so we need to find out why you are having so many similar ones."

"Thank you," Harry replied, returning to his dinner. "I'll go to the library in a little while." The pair continued on with dinner in comfortable silence.

Enjoy!