Disclaimer: I do not own anything that you recognize from Sons of Anarchy, or any other thing or person you recognize. I do not profit from this story. (I guess that everyone already knew all of this, but now I have said it).

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Read the story, hopefully you enjoy it. Since this is my first try to write a fan fiction, please please please review and tell me what you think of it. (Yes I'm begging you.)

Meeting with the past

Written by Cupcake81

Chapter 3: Facing the past

Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
Tired of living like a blind man
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling
And this is how you remind me

This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
For handing you a heart worth breaking

And I've been wrong, I've been down
Been to the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
Scream, "Are we having fun yet?"

Nickelback – How you remind me

The next day when Juice comes home after spending the day in the garage working and doing things for the club he sees Becky's two suitcases sitting on the floor just inside the apartment door. "Becky?" he calls out with a question in his voice.

"I'm in the kitchen" Becky answers.

Juice walks up her were she stands in front of the stove, stirring in a couple of pots and pans. "What are your suitcases doing at the door?" he asks.

"I got a call this afternoon from my business lawyer. He says that a big client wants to meet my to discuss some software they want me to design for them. This is a big contract, so I have to go back to San Francisco to meet with them." Becky says in a rapid pace as to get it all out before he can interrupt. She then continues "I don't really know how long this will take. If I accept the contract maybe I have to stay in my house so I can use the computer I have there for the work. I don't think I can do it on my laptop." She steps up to Juice and puts her arms around him. "It's not that I don't want to be here with you, but this is a big contract we are talking about, a lot of money at stake. I'll come back to you as soon as I can, if you want me to?"

"I understand. Of course you have to go. Call me when you know if and when you can come back." Juice replies. "When do you have to leave?"

"Not until tomorrow" Becky answers. "That is why I'm cooking dinner now. I thought that we could have dinner at home and then spend the rest of the evening here alone and hopefully not be interrupted by anyone."

Becky had spent the day planning what to cook for dinner. Now she was really hungry. She hadn't eaten much during the day. The same morning after Juice had went to the garage, she made breakfast for herself but had been so nervous about the Boston charter coming to Charming that she felt nauseous and had to run to the bathroom to vomit.

After eating the food Becky had prepared they moved into the living room and sat down in the sofa, Juice turned on the TV and slouched down in the corner. He patted at the spot beside him and Becky sat down and rested her head on his chest. She felt like she would like to stay like this forever. She really regretted that she had lied to Juice about the reason why she was going home tomorrow. It would have felt so much better if she could have told him the truth, but she didn't dare to. She was afraid that Juice would be mad at her. Maybe even tell her that he never wanted her to come back here again. It was better to keep the real reason for her to leave a secret, Juice didn't have to know that she don't want to meet the Boston chapter of SOA and that she planed to stay away until they had left Charming.

Early the next morning Becky woke up and looked at the sleeping man beside her. She felt tears forming in her eyes, what if he didn't want her to come back to him. What if he decided that it was easier to just hook up with a sweetbutt for the night instead of having a woman living with him? Becky dried her ears and leaned down and kissed Juice softy on the cheek, if she was leaving him to day she was going to give him something good to remember while she was away.

After having eaten breakfast together with Juice the following morning Becky collects her things and walks out to her car. Juice puts her suitcase in the trunk and after one last hug and kiss Becky gets in the car and drives away.

As soon as she passes the town limit she starts to regret her choice. Maybe it had been better to stay in Charming, maybe she could just have stayed away from the clubhouse? Deep inside she knows that it wouldn't have worked. After helping Gemma with preparing the clubhouse it was expected of her to help out with other things too. It would have looked strange if she didn't show up to help cooking and shopping for more food during the visit from the other charters.

At noon when Becky arrived at her apartment in San Francisco she was pretty much sure that running away wasn't the answer. It would probably have been better if she would have stayed and told Juice the truth instead. She was tired and had the beginning of a headache because of the stress so she decided to carry her suitcase inside and then go to bed and try to sleep away the headache. When she wakes up it is beginning to get dark outside but her headache has disappeared.

Becky gets into the kitchen in search for something to eat. Since she had cleared out the fridge before she went to Charming she didn't even bother to look in there. She went straight to the freezer since she knew she had some frozen food in there. She finds a plastic container filled with homemade lasagna and opens it and puts it in the microwave to heat it up.

After eating her dinner Becky decides to go shopping for groceries since she had almost nothing to eat for breakfast tomorrow. She picked up her bag ant slung it over her shoulder. After grabbing her phone and her keys she walked out to her car and drove out of the parking garage.

Next morning when Becky woke up she felt the same wave of nausea as yesterday but this time she didn't vomit. After drinking a cup of tea and eating a cheese sandwich she felt better and forced herself to sit down by her computer in her office in the apartment to work. After failing for the third time to complete what usually was an easy piece of programming Becky shuts down the computer and sits there and gazes at the black computer screen. She realizes that the reason that she can't concentrate on her work is that her mind is where she really wants to be, with Juice in Charming.

After unpacking her suitcases she starts to fill them again, this time she puts a bit more care into what she brings with her, now she knows what type of clothes she is going to need. After filling her two suitcases with clean clothes Becky grabs a couple of duffel bags and starts filling them too with things since she has no idea how long she is going to stay in Charming.

It is late in the afternoon when Becky put down the last of her bags at the door. Since it is a couple of hours drive back to Charming she decides to wait and start early the next morning instead.

Early the next morning Becky puts her things in her car and starts driving towards Charming. As she is closing in on Charming Becky stops at a gas station because she is so nervous about telling Juice the real reason that she hasn't seen her parents and why she left Charming the other day.

Becky decides to buy something to eat as she only ate an apple and had a cup of tea before she left San Francisco. As she begins walking back towards her car with a bottle of juice and a sandwich in her hand she hears the roar of several Harleys and sees how five bikes turns of the road and in to the gas station. In this area it wasn't likely to be anyone else than members of the Sons of Anarchy. Praying that it wasn't the guys from Boston she stops to see if it is someone she recognizes. As the bikes stops and the men starts to dismount their bikes she realizes that even though they are Sons, all of them are strangers to her. Becky starts walking to her car again.

Suddenly she hears the sound of someone walking behind her. Becky hurries up her steps until she reaches her car. It's not that she is afraid of the unfamiliar sons; she knows that they wouldn't try something in public and in broad daylight, she just doesn't want to risk running in to someone that would recognize her from before.

When Becky reaches her car she puts the juice bottle and the sandwich on the roof of the car to try to find her keys in her bag. As she rummages in her bag she sees one of the bikers stepping up close to her. Becky looks up at him and sees that the patch on the front of his cut says Nomad. Becky sighs, on the positive side is that she has never seen this guy before. On the down side is that she has heard about the Nomads, tough guys who lives their life on the road and helps out the different charters that needs their help. She figured that this guy wouldn't be any different then other bikers, they where so use to sweetbutts doing everything they wanted them to that they didn't like no for an answer when they asked something.

"Hey pretty lady" the biker said to Becky. "I saw you checking us out when we drove in; do you want to join us for a party tonight?"

"No, thanks" Becky replies, "I have a boyfriend and I don't think he would appreciate if I was partying with other guys".

The Nomad seems to be offended by the fact that she would prefer being with someone else instead of partying with him and his brothers. "Ditch that guy, you're going to have much more fun with us" he says.

The whole time he kept coming closer and closer to Becky and now she was flat against her car. By this time she had found her car keys and with a smile on her lips she takes one step forward towards the Nomad and he relaxes and smiles back probably thinking that she is going to accept his invitation. "We are heading to Teller-Morrow here in Charming today" he says. "There are going to be a party there tonight, be there and I'll show you a good time" he continues.

"I don't think so" Becky says and pushes him out of the way, opens the car door and jumps into the car. Before she has time to start the car the other four Nomads had made their way to her car. One of them pushes the guy who had been talking to Becky out of his way and then grabs the bottle and the sandwich of the roof of the car were Becky had forgotten that she had left them. With a smile he makes a sign for her to lower the window so he can give them to her. As she takes a good look at him she sees that this man has a patch identifying him as the president of the Nomad charter. She opens her window and he gives her the food. "Thank you" she says.

"I have to apologize for the behavior of my man here" he says "Carter hasn't realized yet that not every woman wants to be with a man in a cut. I hope he didn't scare you?"

"No it's good" Becky replies with a smile. "I just don't like to be crowded. And I do have a boyfriend already. Otherwise I may have been interested." With one last smile towards the Nomad president she drives of towards Charming.

When Becky drives past the big sign that welcomes visitors to Charming she decides to go to Juice's apartment first. Becky feels like she needs to change clothes and fix her make-up before she sees Juice. In the back of her mind she is well aware that she only does these things to delay the moment when she has to explain herself to Juice.

A couple of minutes later Becky parks her car outside Juice's apartment. She is relieved when she doesn't see Juice's bike anywhere. Becky grabs one of her suitcases and one of the duffel bags out of the car and after locking the car she walks in to the apartment. She decides to leave the rest of her things in the car for now and bring those bags in later.

Almost half an hour later after trying on many different outfits Becky walks out of the apartment and gets in her car and start up the car. Suddenly she shuts it down again and grabs her mobile phone from her purse. She starts flipping through her list of contacts. When she finds Juice's phone number she hesitates and then she puts the phone back in her bag. First Becky thought that she should call him first to see if he was at Teller-Morrow. Then after thinking about it she decided to not call him, now she could have the chance at catching him with a sweetbutt, or croweater as they called them here at SAMCRO. At the back of her mind she knew that she was ridiculous, there was no way that Juice would be doing something other then working at this time, it was only three thirty in the afternoon. Becky knew that she was only trying to make up excuses to not tell Juice about why she left Charming yesterday.

When Becky finally arrives at Teller-Morrow she sees that there are a lot more bikes there then usual. At first she wonders if any of the charters from Boston or New York has arrived already, then it hits her, The Nomads that she met on her way back to Charming had said something about a party that evening and that they were heading to Teller-Morrow.

As Becky parks her car and steps out into the sun she can't help herself but thinking about how this remind her of the first time she parked her car in this lot and went looking for Juice. This time she was equally nervous but deep in her heart she knew that even though Juice probably would be angry at her not telling him earlier, he would understand her reasons not to tell.

Through the open doors to the garage bays Becky can see Juice and Happy standing beside a car looking as to be in an intense discussion about something, when Happy suddenly kicks at the tyres of the car she laughs a bit, apparently they have no idea of what is wrong with the car.

With her eyes locked at the bay where Juice was standing Becky starts walking in that direction. After only a couple of steps she hears a voice beside her.

"So you decided to leave your boyfriend and party with some real men tonight, sweetheart". As Becky looks towards the voice she sighs. It was that annoying Nomad again, Carter, she thought his President had called him.

"I'm not here for you" she says, and continues walking towards Juice.

"Come on sweetie, you don't have to pretend. I know you want to be with a real man." Carter puts himself in front of Becky and forces her to stop.

By now Becky is really pissed. She has forced herself to come here to confess her secrets to Juice and this idiot is standing in her way, talking about things that are of no importance at all for her.

"JUICE!" Becky shouts out. Suddenly everyone present on the lot and in the garage was looking at her and Carter.

Juice came running towards her, a murderous look in his eyes. After him Happy came running too. A couple of seconds later both Juice and Happy were at Becky's side. Becky would have laughed at the funny look on Carter's face if she hadn't been that angry.

Looking directly in to Carter's eyes Becky says "I told you that I have a boyfriend and that I wasn't here for you". After that she grabs a hold of Juice's shirt and pulls him close, and then she gives him a deep kiss, one that doesn't leave any doubts in the minds of those who sees it about the relationship between the two of them.

"Not that I'm complaining, but why did you do that?" Juice sounds a bit surprised.

"I'm just showing this idiot that I'm not available" Becky replies as she points towards Carter.

At once both Juice and Happy turns to look at Carter. "What the fuck are you doing with my girlfriend?" Juice almost spits out the question in Carters face.

"Whoa, cool down. I didn't know that she was your girl. I didn't mean any thing with it. I just…" Carter tries to explain himself to Juice.

At this time both Clay and Quinn has come over to see what has happened. As they see that Juice seems to be ready to start throwing punches at Carter Clay says "Take that shit inside, there are customers around. Can't scare them of." With that he indicates to Juice, Carter and Becky to follow him inside the clubhouse, as Carters President, Quinn follows them inside too.

"What happened" Clay demands to know. Since both Juice and Carter seems too irritated to be able to give a good explanation he turns towards Becky.

"I was driving back to Charming from San Francisco when I stopped at a gas station to get something to eat. When I was heading back to the car I saw a few Harleys turning on to the lot and I stopped to se if it was anyone I knew. Carter here seemed to think that I looked at him because I was interested in him and he them invited me to a party here tonight. I then told him that I already had a boyfriend and that I wasn't interested. Then this gentleman over here got him away from me so I could drive of" Becky says and indicates towards Quinn. Then she continues "When I came here to speak to Juice, Carter assumed that I was here for him and I corrected him by kissing Juice. I think that was about all".

After Becky's rather long explanation everyone was looking at Carter. "I didn't know she belonged to a brother … She didn't say…" Carter tried to make excuses for his behavior.

"You didn't care that she said she wasn't interested" Quinn had a deadly gleam in his eyes when he stated that.

"No… I just thought…" Carter tried again to explain what had happened.

"You have embarrassed me in front of this chapter with your behavior. Don't go near this girl again as long as you are here." Quinn says this with a calm voice but the look in his eyes is promising hurtful punishment if his demands is not followed. Carter just nods and looks defeated.

Then Quinn turns to Juice and asks "Are you satisfied with this, or do you want to fight him in the ring?"

Juice seems to consider the suggestion for a minute, and then he shakes his head and says "Nothing really happened so I will let it go this time, but if he ever talks to or even comes near Becky again I will hurt him."

"That seems fair, good that this is settled then" Clay says. "Now maybe we can go back to work again."

"Not until someone introduces me to this pretty lady who is the reason to why we are standing here" Quinn says.

"Quinn, this is Becky. She is with Juice" Clay says.

"Nice to meet you" Becky says. "And thanks for your help earlier today."

"Nice to meet you too. Don't mention the situation earlier. Since Carter here doesn't know how to behave, I'm used to interfering when he crosses a line. I'm happy to meet you again though. Hope we can talk some more later on." Quinn seems really nice when he looks at Becky.

"I'll look forward to that" Becky replies.

After turning to Juice she continues "I came here today hoping that I could talk to you in private, can we talk in your dorm?"

Clay lets out a laugh and says "After everything you have been through because of a member of this club, the least we can do is letting you talk to Juice alone." Pointing at Juice he continues "We don't need you right now, take her to your dorm and hear what she wants. I'll let you know if something happens and we need you."

When they steps in to Juice's dorm and closes the door behind them Becky turns to Juice with a worried look in her eyes. Becky tells Juice to take a seat in the only chair in the room, and then she sits down at the edge of the bed.

"I haven't been completely honest with you" Becky says. "Everything I've told you about my parents is true, but I didn't tell you everything. My father is a SON. I grew up around the club. That's how I know so much about club life. You know what I told you before about that my mother don't want me around my childhood home? That is because when I was seventeen I almost got kidnapped by some enemies to the club outside our house. My father heard me yell and got outside just in time to shoot at the men so they let go of me. I never walked alone anywhere after that. When I turned eighteen my mother suggested that I should move far away, since then I only sees my parents a couple of times a year, and never in Boston."

When Becky had started talking about her past it was like she couldn't stop everything she had kept inside for the last six years just kept tumbling out. "The reason I freaked out when you told me about that the other chapters were coming to town is that I'm afraid that my father will be among the Sons that come here. All my life my father has been one of the guys in the top of the food chain of the Sons of Anarchy in Boston. When I was young he was Sergeant at Arms, but when I was twelve our president stepped down when he got diagnosed with cancer and my father got promoted. Yes, you heard right, my father is Shane O'Connell, the president of the Boston charter of Sons of Anarchy." She finished her speech a bit out of breath, looking a bit nervous while she waited for Juice to process the news she just gave him.

After Becky had finished her speech Juice sat quiet for a minute or two, then he said "I can understand why you didn't tell me this earlier, but at the same time this is information that I should have gotten a long time ago. Me, being the intelligence officer, and not knowing my own girlfriend is related to a fucking club president? The guys are going to either kill me for not being good at my job, or they are going to laugh their asses of and never stop teasing me about this."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. I have changed my surname and since I'm good at computers, hiding my tracks wasn't that hard." Becky said with a weak smile.

Juice sits on the chair but suddenly he stands up and walks over to the bed. After sitting down next to Becky he gives her a hug and a kiss.

"What do you want to do now" he says. "With your father, I mean."

"I think it's the best that I talk to him when he gets here and explain why I'm here. Hopefully he understands."

The couple sits together on the bed, quiet. Then Juice suddenly lies down and puts his head in Becky's lap. Then he says "I have something I need to tell you too. How much do you know about what the Sons do? How much did your father tell you?"

"I know that you are not just a bunch of Harley riding mechanics if that is what you mean. You are an outlaw motorcycle club after all." Becky replies while she traces the outline of the tattoos on Juice's head with a finger.

Juice takes a deep breath and starts telling Becky about their deal with the Galindo cartel. How the Sons are helping them mule their drugs and that the cartel buys weapons from SAMCRO.

Juice continues to explain that one time a brick of the drugs went missing and that at the time they had thought that it was one of the prospects who had taken it and that they had told them that there would be no repercussions if them just returned the brick. "Of course that was a lie but we really needed that brick back. We left them alone and hoped that who ever it was that had taken it would return it. I then went out in to the woods to take a piss and ended up walking in on Miles picking up the brick from under some grass. Miles then went after me with first a gun and shot me in my leg. Then he came at me with his knife and when I got my hands on the gun I just pulled the trigger. I mean I killed a brother…" Juice tells the last part so quiet that Becky has to listen real hard to hear what he says.

"You did what you had to do to survive" Becky says and gives him a light kiss on his head, not once stopping running her fingers over the tattoos.

"That's not the worst" Juice says. "After we were released from prison the sheriff tried to blackmail me into revealing things about the club's business. He found out that my father is black. I thought that the club would kick me out… but I didn't tell him anything. When this thing with Miles happened… it just became too much. One night I tried to kill myself. I took a chain from the tow truck and put it around a tree branch. Luckily the branch broke. I promise you that I will never do that again but I thought you should know…" Juice's voice trails out. Then he continues "After that I spoke to one of the other members and he told me that what matters is what it says on the birth certificate and my papers says that I'm Hispanic."

After hearing Juice's reveal Becky looks him deeply in the eyes and says "I'm not going to tell you that I'm not shocked, because I am. But I love you Juice, and nothing you tell me is going to change my feelings for you. Just promise me that you never ever try to commit suicide again, I don't want to even try to live the rest of my life with out you."

Juice looks back into Becky's eyes and says "I love you too. I would never do anything to hurt you. And I promise you that I would never again try to kill myself. Why would I? When I'm with you I feel like I could conquer the world."

With that Juice pulls Becky down beside him at the bed and gives her a kiss.

Authors note: The lyrics in the beginning are from a Nickelback song. The reason I chose that song is that I'm a Nickelback fan and I thought that this song fit the chapter.