Impostor

Chapter Three: Investigation

Candace

"So then Stacy was all like, 'well I don't even like Robby anyway,' and I was all like, 'oh-magawd, Robby is soooo cute,' but not cute like Jeremy, 'coz Jeremy's like the cutest guy ever, and then-get this-Stacy said-"

"Candace! Candace! Candace!" there was a frantic voice from outside the door and I groaned. "Go away, I'm in the middle of a conversation here!"

Marissa, who had been sitting cross-legged on the floor listening to me, gave me a sour look. She stood up and opened the door and no sooner than that Isabella ran into the room, holding a crumpled piece of paper in one hand. Her face was pale and tears had begun to well up in her eyes.

"Isabella," Marissa gave her a look that was both surprised and concerned, "What's the matter?"

"It's Phineas," she said through her tears, "He's-"

"Busted!" I cried, darting over to the window to see whatever it is they were building. Every day it was something and it was always bust-worthy-well, except for that one day when they didn't do anything-so I knew I would catch them in the middle of a project. I was right! It didn't look like anything in particular right now, but there were trucks dropping off supplies and equipment and stuff in the backyard and I could see a set of blueprints in Ferb's hand. "Aha! I knew it!"

"Listen," Isabella said quietly, "That's not Phineas."

"Pfft, yeah, right," I rolled my eyes at her and then turned back out the window. "What, did they build brobots again?"

"Candace, listen to me!" Isabella demanded. She gave me a narrow-eyed glare and stamped her foot, curling her hands into fists. She shoved the paper into my hands and then told me, "That's not Phineas out there!"

"What are you talking about?" I un-crumpled the paper to find a doodle of Phineas, except with weird bug-eyes drawn in. "What is this, some sort of joke? Are they building bug people today or what? That's it!" I turned back to the window and looked closely. No. It was still too early to tell for sure. But given ten minutes- at most-it would be easy to see what exactly was coming together in the backyard. These things had a rhythm to them and by this time I knew it well-perhaps too well. By noon they would have it finished and by the time Mom came home it would be gone. It always was. But that wasn't about to stop me. Oh, no...one day I would bust them. Both of them. I narrowed my eyes in determination as I watched Ferb direct a truck full of boxes out into the yard.

"Candace," Marissa's voice was thin and I could practically hear her staring at me. I groaned. Marissa was known to take everything too seriously-especially when it came to her brothers. She was kind of disappointing that way.

I turned to see her with her arms folded, giving me a "just-hear-her-out" kind of look. I retorted with my own look, the kind of look that says, "oh, right, like I really want to listen to whatever crazy thing it is that's gonna come out of Isabella's mouth." I then turned back to the window to see if they actually were building bug people.

I thought it likely.

"Candace, you don't understand," Isabella exclaimed, "That's not Phineas out there. That's-"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I shooed her off with one hand and then gave her an annoyed look. "Bug people and all that. But I don't need your help to bust them. I can do it by myself. Just you wait and see. Now go away-there's busting to be done and I'm the one who's gonna be doing it!"

"But-"

"I said get out of here, I'm busy," I turned and pushed Isabella and Marissa out the door. I knew that they could only be a distraction. I had so much busting to do...so much. I could hear them grumbling to each other but I paid it no mind. Instead I turned back to the window in time to see Phineas finish welding two enormous pieces of pipe together. He had the blueprints for the project in front of him and glanced back at them for reference, picked up a smaller piece of pipe, and began welding that too.

Nope. Still too early to tell what it was. I sighed. Just then my cell beeped and my eyes lit up. It was Stacy, of course. I wondered why she hadn't called earlier and so I was eager to talk to her; Marissa was fine and all but Stacy was much more understanding. I dug the phone out of my pocket and answered. "Hey Stacy."

"Candace, you're not going to believe this!" Stacy sounded overly excited and I knew that if she was excited I would probably get excited about it too.

"What is it?" I asked.

"You know that kid Coltrane that lives two blocks from your house?"

"Yeah, that semi-cute one?"

"Yeah he just said I was cool!"

"Eek!" I squealed, instantly smiling.

"I know!" Stacy agreed, her voice high-pitched in excitement.

"So what did you say, after that I mean?"

"I said cool," Stacy replied, "I mean like I didn't wanna sound too clingy about it, right, but I didn't wanna be all cold and distant-"

"No Stacy that was totally fine," I assured her.

"Kay," she sighed, "I was kinda worried for a minute coz what if I handled it wrong, you know?"

"Stacy, relax, you're fine."

"Thanks, Candace."

I was about to make another comment, but there was a spectacular crash from outside. It sounded like something very big had been dropped from a very high place and had landed on another very big thing.

I huffed in annoyance. "Stacy," I said, "I'll call you back."

"I get it," Stacy sighed, "Busting time?"

"Busting time," I snapped the phone shut in annoyance and stomped out the door, arms crossed. "Okay, you two, what kind of chaos is it this time?"

"Oh, hey, Candace," Phineas greeted happily, jumping down from what looked a little like the horn of a monstrous unicorn. "We're building a track for Attack of the Robot Rhinoceros. You know, that online game we showed you yesterday?"

I rolled my eyes in disgust. "What. Ever."

"Suit yourself," Phineas shrugged, "But at the rate you're going you're never gonna get to see it, let alone have a turn."

"What?" came Marissa's voice from behind me. "Of course she can have a turn, Phineas."

"With her attitude?" Phineas asked, giving her a skeptical look.

Marissa looked like she was about to snap at him-which I'd never seen happen before, by the way-but instead turned to me. "Candace, you mind coming inside for a minute?"

"More than a minute," I nodded, then turned back to the boys. "I'll see you two weirdos later."

"C'mon," Marissa quickly led me inside and up to her room closing the door behind us. Isabella was there too, sitting quietly on the bed. She didn't say anything, of course-the expression on her face made it clear she had been crying.

Marissa sat next to Isabella on the bed and then turned to me. "Sit down."

I took a seat on the purple bean-bag chair in the corner. "What is it?"

Marissa sighed. "Candace, we need your help."

I scoffed. "Help with what?" I asked, crossing my arms, "Does Phineas not get hugged enough?"

"Candace," Isabella snapped, "Just shut up and listen."

"Fine," I sighed.

"Okay. So. Phineas has been acting weird all morning. Tell me you've noticed that," Marissa looked up at me with hopeful eyes.

"What do you mean weird?" I asked skeptically.

"I mean weird as in he ate a zucchini by himself," Isabella exclaimed, "That's not normal!"

Marissa gave me an "explain-that" look, crossing her arms.

"Are you kidding, there is absolutely nothing wrong with zucchini," I protested, "They're just vegetables."

"Yeah? and how about this?" Isabella demanded, again showing me the Phineas-bug-eye doodle.

"What about it?"

"Hello, this is obviously not Phineas!" Marissa exclaimed. She was on the verge of true anger, and yet it was obvious she was picking out convenient details out of the picture-and I knew all about that; I'd done it myself a few times in the midst of the Busting.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I snapped.

"Argh!" Marissa shouted, exasperated, "What do we have to say to make you listen to us?"

"Maybe nothing because what you're saying doesn't make any sense!" I shouted, "Jeez!"

"Ah!" Isabella exclaimed, apparently having some sort of idea, "What about this. You go and do your thing and see for yourself."

"What?" I asked.

Marissa clarified: "Bust 'em."

On the word bust I was immediately paying attention-like some sort of trained monkey or something. Against my better judgment I inquired further. "Lemme get this straight. You're telling me to bust my brothers?"

"Yes," Marissa confirmed.

"What's the catch?" I asked skeptically.

"No catch," Isabella shook her head, "Just...bust 'em."

"Hmmm..." I knew I had to think this over. Something just smelled fishy about it. It occurred to me that the boys may have put her up to this, to keep me off their back for a while-I bet they were counting on me knowing something was up so then by busting them I would not be busting them and by not busting them I would be busting them! Aha! I had it! If busting meant not busting and not busting meant busting, then busting was busting whether they wanted me to or not! "I got it!" I shouted triumphantly, "I will bust my brothers!"

"Yes!" Isabella cried, "Bust 'em!"

"Yeah!" now all fired up and determined to catch them at whatever it is they were doing, I ran back to my room to take some serious notes. It looked like they had the track for the robot rhino almost done, but there was no robot rhino...hmm, this was suspicious. It was almost lunchtime-they were always done by lunchtime. I spotted Phineas going over the blueprints with Ferb and watched carefully. They seemed to have a disagreement over some small part of it, and Phineas finally stomped off. What? That never happens. Phineas and Ferb always finish before-

"Lunchtime!" I heard from downstairs. Yep. That. I sighed, coming downstairs for the lunch that was announced. I gave the boys an annoyed look as Dad gave us each a sandwich and then went back to watch TV.

"What do you want, Candace?" Phineas asked, returning my look with one of his own.

"Oh, nothing," I replied, refusing to break the gaze. "Just nothing."

Phineas shrugged and then went back outside to work some more on the robot rhino. Ferb hesitated a moment, but then followed.

This was officially weird. The boys weren't done yet. Something had to be wrong.

I had to do some serious investigation.