A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I appreciate it A LOT. :)

By the way, to the person who mentioned it: I don't not hate Lucas BUT from what I've seen this season, he has been a spoiled little brat. He's not going to stay this way in my story because I, like all, LPers I think like him better when he's the good guy. However, I can't have him treating Peyton like he should yet because he hasn't for quite some time. It's kind of changing from now on though. ;)

One last thing: this chapter has M rating so yeah...If you don't like don't read LOL.

3. Pudding and Goodbyes

Peyton let out a deep sigh as she stepped into her house after a week of being in LA. In that week she had bought an office space interviewed a bunch of candidates, realizing that with two buildings, she'd have to hire some people. Now that she was back in Tree Hill, she'd have to start interviewing here too. Whilst in LA, she had given the direction of Red Bedroom records in Tree Hill to Haley but since it's impossible for her to continue to combine it with her job as a teacher in the future, Peyton would have to find new staff. After she would've done that, she'd go to LA for six months to start the office up.

If all went well, she should be able to sign a couple good bands and than she'd leave the LA management to Taylor. She had met him here in the city two years ago but he had been working for another record company then. However, for the same reasons as her namely integrity in character and music, he had quit to search for a challenge, which he had found with Peyton. He had a lot more experience than Peyton, though as his father stood at the head of the biggest record company in New York and so he had grown up in the business.

All of this made Peyton one-hundred percent sure her record label would be in perfect hands with a guy like him at the top.

Hardly a second after she put down her suitcase, her cell went. "Peyton Sawyer," she answered it.

"Hi, Peyton," she heard Haley's stressed out voice.

"Hey, what's up? You sound like you're being chased by wild hounds."

"I feel that way too. Peyton, I know you only must be back for like a minute but I have to ask for a favor."

"Sure. Anything for you, Hales."

"I was wondering if you could look after Jamie this afternoon. I have to go to this teacher's meeting, then manny is sick, Brooke is as you know in New York for Angie's heart surgery, Nathan is with Quentin and Lucas…Well he's God-knows-where. Lately he just sits around town brooding."

"No prob," she reassured her. "I'm on my way. It's about time me and him spent some time together anyway, I'm not even sure the kid knows my name."

"Peyton-"

"Just kidding," she cut her off. "I'll be there in ten."

She jumped into her Mercury and sped her way over to Nathan and Haley's. Opening the door she saw Jamie running around like a madman with his paper-made airplane and new this was going to be an animated afternoon. "Peyton!" he cried and ran up to her. "Momma said you'd be taking care of me this afternoon, is that true?"

"Yes it is…Where's your momma?"

"She left five minutes ago and said I had to wait in the couch until you came but I wanted to play."

"Oh, alright…So what do you want to do?"

"Basketball!"

"But I-" She saw his expecting blue eyes and gave in. "I'll try."

An hour later they were sitting by the pool. Peyton had gotten tired of playing basketball quite quickly and Jamie, who was very considerate for a four-year old, had instead suggested he'd swim. Peyton sat by the side of the pool making sure he wouldn't drown. Suddenly he crawled out of the water and ran up to Peyton who took a towel and dried the little boy.

"Tired already?" she asked.

"No, it's time for Days of Our Lives."

"What?" she laughed.

"Me and momma always watch it together."

Then he batted his hand in front of his mouth. "O-ow…That was a secret."

"It's safe with me," she reassured Jamie and together they walked inside to settle themselves in front of the television with a bowl of popcorn, which Peyton had made to come in Jamie's 'cool' book.

The boy explained her everything there was to know about the characters and their relationships. "Hand, hand," he suddenly let out.

"What?"

"They're kissing on a bed!"

"Oh…" Peyton held her hand in front of the little boy's eyes. "Does your momma do this too?"

He nodded. After the sex scene, they continued watching and as always in a soap series, Peyton couldn't help but find the long squinty looks the characters gave each other absolutely ridiculous. Give them glasses already, she thought inside. "That's how uncle Luke always stares!" Jamie let her know. "You sometimes don't even see his eyes anymore, just his lashes!"

"Jamie…" Peyton said in a dismissive tone. "That's not very nice."

"But you don't like uncle Luke," he reasoned. The boy had been thinking about the similarity between his uncle's looks and the characters of Days of Our Lives' for a while now but had never dared to say it out loud since his momma loved his uncle and might be hurt. But Peyton didn't like his uncle Luke so she should agree and think it's funny.

"That doesn't matter, Jamie. You should respect him, he's your uncle."

"Why don't you like him?"

"Huh…You're too curious!" she avoided his question.

"I love my uncle." He looked up at her with his innocent blue eyes. "Is that wrong?"

"No, you're definitely not wrong in loving him. You should love him. He has always been good to you so he deserves that."

"Has he been bad to you?"

What the two blondes didn't know is that another one was standing behind the corner and had been for five minutes now. Lucas often randomly paid Haley and Nathan a visit since they were basically his only support right now. He hadn't told a living soul -except for Lindsey- he still loved Peyton though, he was too scared and proud for that. He hadn't known Peyton would've been back so soon by the way, he had expected her near the evening.

Peyton sighed. "You're not giving up, are you?"

Jamie shook his head.

"OK…" she took the boy on her lap. "You know you told me about Elise earlier?"

"Yes…" Elise was the girl in kindergarten Jamie had had a crush on.

"You liked Elise, yes?"

"Uh-huh."

"So tell me again what she did when you told her that. When you told her you liked her."

"She took her rice-pudding and turned it upside down on my head and it was all over my hair and face."

"That hurt you, didn't it?"

"Right here," he pouted and laid his little hand on his heart. Peyton cuddled the boy briefly, endeared by his cuteness but also feeling for him: heartbreak isn't fun at any age.

"And now you don't like her anymore, do you?"

He shook his head vehemently. "She's a naughty girl, my momma says."

"She definitely is. And that's what happened with me and your uncle Luke."

"He also put rice-pudding on your head?"

"A whole bowl," Peyton nodded.

With genuine sympathy, Jamie threw his arms around Peyton's neck. "I'm sorry, Peyton."

Rice-pudding, she thought inside. If only it had been just that.

"Uncle Luke!" Jamie then cried all of a sudden, the tone of his voice suggesting he wasn't pleased with what he had just heard. Peyton looked over her shoulder and had to do her very best to not let her face take on a repulsed expression as she didn't want Jamie to see the disdain she felt for a person he loved. "Why did you put rice-pudding on Peyton's hair? That's naughty!"

He bowed his head. "Because I was bit stupid." They fell in a silence wherein Peyton literally had to bit her tongue to keep her calmness, a very hard task around him. "Could you please go upstairs and play with Chester for a moment, Jamie?" Lucas asked.

"B-"

"Jamie, please." Feeling the tension, he jumped up and ran upstairs like his uncle had asked.

"What are you doing?" she hissed. "I'm supposed to watch him!" she said angrily after the boy had disappeared upstairs. "If you're going to bitch about me ruining your life again and tell me you hate me, save your breath. I've heard it enough now."

"Peyton, I didn't mean that, I just had had a lot to deal with lately. I could never hate you…I'm just still hoping you'd change your mind about us being friends."

"Well I'm not," she simply said. "Is that all?"

For a couple of moments, Lucas just looked at her and to be honest, he despised the fact that he felt his heart sore. Even now he wanted Lindsey had simply believed him. It was cowardly, yes, but he couldn't help but think that dating a girl you love but don't open up to completely was a safer, better bet than giving his heart to Peyton with the risk of being hurt. The only problem with that was that dating other girls didn't make her disappear; instead the girls disappeared as soon as they were faced with Peyton, not being able to handle the intensity he shared with her.

Now he was here again, aching over the girl who had the tendency to reject him over and over again but he had surrendered to it, having realized once and for all that as long as Peyton Sawyer walked this earth, none of his other relationships would succeed; it didn't matter how hard he tried to make them work. He could deny all he want and convince himself of his undying love for others but those others never quite believed them. Because no girl could make him weep, scream, laugh, give him dead or alive eyes like she could.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked almost rolling her eyes.

"At Nate's party, it hit me that I…" He gathered all his courage. "I won't ever love anyone like I love you. And when I look at you, it just keeps hitting me. Peyton-"

"Duck," she simply said, not believing what he spewed for a second.

"I'm too tired to duck." He shrugged. "I remain standing straight to look you in the eyes. I love you."

"OK, let's clear something out here… I'm Peyton Sawyer, not Lindsey Strauss. You got the wrong girl."

"I know who you are…" he replied. "But me and Lindsey are over and I don't want her! I want you."

"Correction. She doesn't want you." She let out a bitter laugh. "You want me now? Awesome. It turns out I'm not only the black sheep but also second choice!" She raised her hand, waving his comment away. "Just get out, you can come back later when I'm gone, I seriously can't stand being in the same room with you."

He clenched his jaw. "When are you going back to LA?" he asked as he knew this wasn't going to lead anywhere and he wasn't about to cause a scene while Jamie was around. It was obvious she wouldn't believe in him, his love for her and his good intentions any time soon and if she did, she probably wouldn't accept of for a much longer time.

"Next week," she bit. "And-" Suddenly she saw Jamie sitting on the stairs with tears in his eyes.

The viciousness of Peyton's tone and words and Lucas' trying to persuade her had reminded him of the tensed, dark period he had gone through a while ago, watching his momma throw insults at his daddy, even wanting to divorce at a certain point. He ran upstairs upset.

"Jamie!" Peyton called him before pointing her finger at Lucas accusingly. "All your fault." The next two hours she had to comfort Jamie and after apologize to Haley for fighting with Lucas while her son was in the house.

x

One week had passed since Peyton had returned from LA and she was already going back tomorrow. For six whole months. This last week had been heavy for her as the pressure to find good staff had been high, but all had worked out and she was confident in the people she had hired. Wanting to say goodbye in style, Haley had invited her for dinner tonight and was going to make the best dishes she could. Peyton had said it wasn't necessary but she wanted to do this for her, because it's just the kind of thing you do for a friend.

"What's this?" Lucas asked entering the kitchen. He saw chicken with carrots as garniture; the dish looked so beautiful it seemed to come from a catering service. "Special guest?"

Haley bit her bottom lip. She hadn't exactly told Lucas about the goodbye dinner, also because he really, REALLY couldn't come. Peyton had demanded it and even if she hadn't, Haley knew better than to let him come. Literally every time they had bumped into each other this week, Peyton had gotten so angry Haley had half-expected her to burst out of her clothes like the Hulk, upon which Lucas had become frustrated because all he wanted to do was for her to soften her attitude and give him another chance, even if it was only as a friend.

"This is for Peyton," she replied somewhat apologizing. "We're having a goodbye dinner for her tonight."

"What… I'm not invited? What a surprise," he said with bitter sarcasm.

"Lucas, please…" she sighed. "You know how she gets around you. I want this evening to be something we can cherish instead of something we have to forget because it was such a drama."

"You're saying I'm drama?"

"You know you're drama."

"Haley…I love her."

Her eyes widened. "You WHAT?"

"She didn't tell you I…?"

"Not a thing."

This confirmed his belief that she didn't talk about him anymore either. "I've been so wrong," he shook his head. "But I do, I love her more than I can express in words."

"Lucas, I wish I could attach some true value to that but I don't know…It sounds so familiar. I heard it hardly three months ago and then those words were reserved for Lindsey."

"I love, Lindsey, I do… But goodness Peyton…" Haley glanced at him estimating. "Look at me, Haley…"

"You look tired," she noticed.

"I'm going fucking crazy. I mean it; I can't eat, I can't sleep… This is what I was afraid of, this is why I didn't want to love or be with her. Some people don't get a pet because they're scared that it might die. It's the same with me and Peyton. If I had gone back to her, and we wouldn't have worked out again, I wouldn't have survived, not a second time around."

"What changed your mind?" she asked still surprised he admitted it finally.

"Do you have to ask? First Lindsey, who I tried to convince with all that I had that she was the One for me. And… I don't think she even considered believing it. Deep down I knew why and I didn't quite believe it either."

"Wow."

"Two… Peyton treats me like a nasty leech that sucked the joy out of her and has to be killed. I know she has her reasons but it isn't easy. Not being in her life made me realize living without her is even worse than living with her the way she is now. I'd rather see her and be insulted than not being around her and have nothing."

"Because you're handling her remarks, insults and put-downs so well," she said sarcastically.

"She makes me angry-"

"Angry? She makes your head turn lava-red."

"I know, Hales but it's better than to feel dead."

"OK, that's great you've accepted you love Peyton but you're simply not coming tonight, no matter what she does or doesn't make you feel. It's her night and I doubt she wants you here," she said. "Besides, you guys gave my son a crying fit earlier this week, I don't want that again."

"So you're all going to be sitting here cozily without me? What about me?

"Kentucky Fried Chicken?"

"Hales!"

"You have dinner with us all the time, Luke."

"But she's not always there."

"I'm sorry, Luke, but the answer is 'no'. She doesn't want you here during her goodbye dinner and that's that."

"What if I ask her?"

x

"Excuse me?"

"Come on, Peyton… I know I'm not your favorite person right now but I just want to see you before you leave for LA. I want us to grow closer."

"If you say that one more time I'll just pull my hair out. I mean it."

"But-"

"GET THE HELL OUT!" He took a few steps forward. In fury, Peyton took an edition of Rolling Stone that lay on the desk in her new office and threw it at his head. "OUT, OUT, OUT."

His face turned red in anger but he listened: with a loud, frustrated scream, he left her office, slamming her door in the process. The first thing he did after was find a bar to drink his pain and wrath away.

x

Peyton put her key in the lock and turned it to open her door. After closing it, she took of her coat and threw it in the couch before she let her own body fall into it, feeling intoxicated by the fair amount of pink champagne she had drunk. Absently she turned the little lamp standing on the cupboard next to the couch on and gazed at the huge shadows on her ceiling and walls as if they were the eight world wonder.

Just as she was thinking how she wished Brooke had been here to say goodbye, she heard an impatient knock on the door. Frowning, she stood up from the couch and walked to the door in a rather crooked line. Opening it, she saw Lucas standing in front of her, again seemingly furious with her. It was really getting old. "What are you doing here?"

Without answering, he stepped inside. She backed away, slightly uncertain what to do. "Huh…Could you please go?" she asked. He remained standing in the middle of her living room, lightening her with his eyes and making no preliminaries to do what was asked of him.

"Fine," Peyton let out. "Don't go then. Stay there looking creepy." She stumbled her way to get herself a glass of water. Before she reached her kitchen, she very suddenly felt herself being violently pressed against the wall, upon which she gasped loudly.

There was no space between her body and his, none between hers and the wall. He grabbed one of her hands and pulled it up to raise it above her head. She was instantly sober and scared, too. She tried to keep her hand where it had been, near her waist but it was in vain, he was much stronger. So now she stood there, with her body, under arm and hand pressed against the wall hard. There was nothing but silence and breathing for the next couple of minutes.

Occasionally Lucas shifted his head: from looking up, eyes raised to the ceiling, resting the side of his head against hers to almost placing his chin on her shoulder. She had never felt him more unquiet and it alarmed her; he was not his usual self, whatever that was right now. "Lucas…Let me go, please," she let out softly, hoping if she'd talk in a nicer way, he'd calm down.

He let out a bitter chuckle. "So now you can speak in a normal tone?" He grabbed her other hand and violently turned her around.

She gazed in his eyes, which stood aggressive and were glazy. "You're drunk again," she accused him, not seeing the use of being kind if he saw through her anyway. "It's quite sad actually, to turn into an alcoholic just because Lindsey left you. Shows how weak and spineless you are."

"I'm not that drunk, Peyton; I can walk in a straighter line than you can right now." Not that that was saying much; Peyton was quite tipsy as well. "And yes, Lindsey left…" Lucas almost shed tears out of pure frustration. "…because of you, b-"

"I-"

"No...I'm not angry at you anymore, I just want you to give me another chance." He ran his hand shortly over her face. "Peyton... You said you were going to wait for me; I believed it." She yanked her head away and his face deformed into frustration again.

"Why would I wait for a pathetic drunk?"

"You love me!" he let out furiously.

"No, you were right all along, I don't think you're good enough for me," she lied. "You're just a small-town coach with a semi-successful book, I'm holding out for something better now."

Under normal circumstances, he would've burst into tears, but these were drunken circumstances. He bowed his head, which had been so close that it brushed along her cheek as he pushed his body so close she could feel his heart beat. His hands, which were still wrapped around hers, trembled with anger. "You sure got a lot of nerve," he hissed. "You'd think a woman in this particular situation would be a little more humble."

"How much did you have?" she asked genuinely surprised he hadn't fled after what she had said.

"Enough."

"Not enough for you not to find you way over here," she spat.

"I always find my way to you." He removed his right hand from the wall and slowly slid it up and down her side.

She saw his pupils growing even larger than they had already been in this darkness, her harsh words of earlier seemingly forgotten. "Get your hands off me," she ordered and slapped his hand away. "And control yourself."

"I can't stop loving you, Peyton," he let out. She clenched her jaw and slapped him hard. He touched his cheek scowling and wrapped his arm around her waist very tightly. She whimpered as he shook her firmly. "You'd rather have it if I acted like you?" he asked as he looked into her fiery eyes. "Telling you you're sad, pathetic, inferior?"

She swore her hand was going to be pulp if he pressed it against the wall like this any longer. "Let me go," she whimpered. "You're scaring me!"

"You're afraid of me? That's a first."

"You're an ass! A lying, drunk, evil ass!"

"Your insults do nothing for me anymore." He moved his head closer again and leaned it against the side of her head, smelling her hair softly. "Tell me you hate me, I don't mind. I know I love you. I love you…" he husked.

He felt her hand rise again to slap him and without pulling away his head from her hair, he took her hand and pinned it down next to her side, holding it tight until she gave up. Instead of protesting now she just wondered what the hell he was doing. Then suddenly she felt his lips on her and yanked her head the other way, which only resulted in him moving to the spot where he did have liberty to kiss her neck.

"Stop, Lucas," she ordered in a whiney voice when he his lips left her skin. Though she felt his breath on her skin, she thought maybe he'd listen and pull back as he just stood there doing nothing for a couple of seconds. Her thoughts were proven wrong as he bowed over, now also sucking her skin and moaning against it.

He finally let her hand loose. She didn't try to slap him again or push him; it made him feel she wanted this though she wouldn't show. He pulled away and tried to kiss her mouth but she twisted her head in all possible positions to not have her lips touch his. "I said stop…" she let out breathily, not firmly enough to make him listen at all.

After a couple of attempts he groaned annoyed, cupped her face with one hand and turned her head roughly towards his before he kissed her hungrily. She growled in frustration as he pulled back to place his forehead against hers. "I hate you," she let out still dazed of all the alcohol she had downed tonight. "So much."

When he bowed over, capturing her lips again, she bit his bottom lip hard. He pulled back growling and brushed his lip with his thumb, noticing a bit of blood. It only got him more heated and he kissed her rougher, pushing his tongue against her teeth until she couldn't but open her mouth. He thrust his tongue inside and Peyton moaned, scolding herself for it immediately. His hands slid over her body and one of them began to stroke her breast through the material of her green dress before blatantly massaging it. Whilst he did so, he pressed his hips against hers; she felt he was fully aroused and it hit her what this was leading to.

"No…" She pulled herself away from him and also pushed his hand down.

But Lucas hadn't really understood the meaning of that word lately and slid his hand behind her back instead, trying to undo her zipper. However, it was a tricky one- Peyton had had trouble with it herself- and it got stuck. Frustrated Lucas grabbed the pieces the zipper had already separated and simply ripped her dress in two. It fell off at once, leaving her in only her lacy black underwear and heels.

"You're going crazy," she cried non-believing. He had ripped her beautiful dress in two! She stumbled back against the wall with a death glare, refusing to let him see her breasts, which she had covered with one arm. "Crazy!"

Lucas simply took a few steps forward, content the dress was no longer an obstacle, and slid his arm around her waist. "You're not rejecting me again," he told her and slipped his hand under her arm, to her breast to gently tease and taunt her. She gasped loudly and a couple seconds later, lowered her arm; her resistance was broken. He pulled away from kissing her neck and stared admiringly. He was breathing heavily, slightly licking his lips whilst he softly placed his hands on either side of her upper body. "Three years…" he let out.

She wished her body wouldn't react to him the way it did. However, every sign of her want for him was there, and he saw it. She crumbled completely when he bowed over and began to kiss, lick and suck her breasts. "Oh God…" she moaned as she put her hands in his hair and pushed him closer. Though she wouldn't admit it, three years had indeed been too long.

She caught her breath when he stopped but there wasn't time to recuperate as he almost immediately slid his tongue in her mouth again to war with hers.

"Tell me you still love me, Peyton," he said sighing, between kisses. "That you need me."

"I don't..." she lied. It wasn't about her being physically aroused or not, both knew damn well she was but he wanted her to give him a verbal sign she still wanted him.

Suddenly she felt his hand slip in her underwear to only a second later, feel his finger enter her. She opened her mouth and groaned in pleasure. He bit his bottom lip feeling how wet and tight she was for him. "Liar," he breathed. He kissed her again, sliding another finger inside of her as she felt his attitude changing, growing softer. The kisses he dropped on her collarbone and shoulder were passionate and hungry but tenderer than before.

"This doesn't change a thing," she quickly mumbled as she rocked her hips to the movements of his fingers. She didn't know if what she was saying got through to him though: he seemed so intoxicated, not only with alcohol, but also with her.

Peyton felt the heat building in her, arching her back as his fingers moved inside her frantically, his thumb stroking her into ecstasy. He removed his fingers reluctantly and slid both his hands to her thighs as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He lifted her and she hooked her legs around his waist tightly. When he had made his way to her bedroom, he laid her down and then took his clothes off rather fluently for someone who had a couple double scotches too many; he wanted this badly. Slowly he slid his hands over her legs and stopped at her thong, pulling it down. He crawled so that he was hovering over her, fully ready to be inside of her.

"Kiss me, Peyton," he demanded. He just wanted to feel she still loved him, that this wasn't just sex. But she didn't kiss him, instead she looked up to him, her eyes saying 'as if'. He got angry again, realizing he wouldn't taste her lips unless he made the initiative. "I love you so damn much," he hissed before crashing his mouth into hers again, violently. She wouldn't give him love but he'd take what he could get now. He moved her legs further apart with his knee and penetrated her, groaning loudly as he did so. He only got louder when he finished sliding inside of her and began to move. "You feel so good," he let out.

You do too, she caught herself thinking inside but would rather die here then tell him that. Truth was, he wasn't bad in bed at all. In fact, Peyton had never quite understood the beauty of her own body until he had helped her discover. If she felt good about her body, it was because of him, because of the way he stared at it when they made love, the compliments he used to give on how a certain outfit suited her when they used to date and the way he touched her.

Lucas smiled hearing her breathy sighs turn heavier with each thrust until they were loud moans. To him this felt like coming home. If he said he hadn't been in love with another woman before, he would've been lying. But she was a class of her own: being inside her body, moving with her, feeling her legs around him felt extraordinary. He tried to forget all the bad that happened and just focused on her beauty, watching her: closed eyes, parted lips, heaving chest and her cheeks rosy with arousal.

He shortly bowed his head. "I love you, Peyton," he smiled against her skin. He picked up the pace when she began to move faster; it had been so long since he had felt her like this and he couldn't get enough.

She gazed in his eyes, which had lost that dazed, glazy look. He seemed clear. At that moment, she hated herself. All that talk about taking care of herself and here they were, moving as one. Looking up at him moaning on top of her, she felt a million of feelings run through her so quickly and chaotic she couldn't even recognize one. All she knew was that with everything she had sworn and promised, she was now betraying herself.

"Do you love me?" he asked breathily and despite their frantic movements placed a soft kiss in her neck.

"Fuck you," she let out frustrated yet quite appropriately seeing the circumstances.

His hopeful expression changed into a pissed off one. What was wrong with her? He cursed himself for loving her, for loving her even when she was this cold and he cursed her for rejecting him yet again. Roughly, almost animalistic, he pounded into her over and over, going faster than he had during sex in ages. Just as he thought he couldn't move faster, harder or rougher, he did. "Damn, Luke!" she cried. He looked down at her and could see just from her face she was about to come. Seconds later she screamed and he soon followed her in her climax, exploding inside of her.

Her whole body shuddered as he collapsed on top of her, trying to catch his breath. He stayed inside her, feeling good there. He sensed one of her arms resting on his back and wondered if she did that consciously or not. She gazed at the ceiling as it seeped through what she had just done. Her thoughts were interrupted by his lips brushing over her collar bone, his hand touching her breast as his other stroke her thigh. He hardened inside of her once more, the expression on his face becoming one of pure lust again as he settled himself straighter, with the intention of having her for the second time this night.

"Luke..." she whispered. Once? Heat of the moment. Twice? Not so much. "Pull out." But she didn't have the heart to push him off and it wasn't like she was cold-blooded: a naked man –a naked Lucas- laying on top of her, inside of her... She knew she was fighting a losing battle, which was proven when he reached his hand between them and stroke her. Breathing heavily, she wrapped her legs back around him, pushing him even deeper inside her; they both moaned.

"…nothing…" she let out. Though she still loved him so much despite everything, she'd be damned to ever show it again. Lucas knew what she meant with 'nothing': this was supposed to be just a confused night of sex, nothing more. However, he didn't care at this very moment as he started to move inside of her once more.

When it was over, she again kept her eyes on the ceiling, feeling awfully low about herself. All the efforts she had done to avoid him, start a new life and now she had just let him take her not once but twice. She didn't say another word but rolled away so that she wasn't facing him anymore and curled her body in fetal position. Briefly looking over her shoulder she saw Lucas had already fallen asleep, but she felt too mentally weak now to send him away.

x

The next morning, when Lucas opened his eyes, the first thing he did was look around him to see where Peyton was. He remembered everything about last night, also the fact he had had the best sex in ages but more importantly, she hadn't stabbed him in his sleep. Putting his boxers on, he left her bedroom and began to walk through her house, looking for her.

Hearing noise in the bathroom, he walked to the door. Briefly he just remained standing looking through the crack and his eyes lit up seeing her. She was putting her earrings on, looking very concentrated as she did so. Being the professional she was lately, she wore a black suit, though with skirt. There was still the occasional rock accent here and there in her clothing but mostly, he knew, she wanted to radiate money and power now.

She was soon ready and walked out of the bathroom causing Lucas to take a couple of steps aside. She completely tensed up after she had opened the door and saw him standing there half-naked. She hid her insecurity. "I'm going to the airport. Last night never happened," she let him know. "It didn't mean a thing except maybe that you were chasing your…thing and I was too horny and drunk to protest so I'd like it if you wouldn't mention this to anyone."

His face dropped. "I wasn't chasing my, huh, my thing; it was more to me than just sex."

"Please, you were like an animal."

She began walking past him and he grabbed her arm carefully. "If I recall correctly, that's the way you wanted it. Emotionless." He moved so that he faced her. "I wanted to make love to you."

"Let go of me, Lucas," she ordered with hard eyes. "I mean it this time. And I'm completely sober."

He looked at her sadly.

"What had you thought?" she asked. "We'd wake up and be together and happy? That's not possible for us. Ever again. We've had a lot of beautiful moments together, but those don't match up to all the crap you did the last months. It was more than just rice-pudding." She gazed at him protruding, hating the feeling he gave her, that she was doing him wrong. "Do you have ANY idea how much I loved you? It's you who destroyed that love, Lucas, not me. I reached my limit and there's no going back now. One night of drunken sex isn't going to change that; you're delusional for thinking that."

"But Peyt, I felt y-"

"No," she cut him off aggravated. "I don't see myself with you now or in any kind of future and you need to accept that. I'm not going back to you as it would be the biggest mistake of my life, and that's saying something, 'cause I've been pretty messed up all my life."

"So this is it? He asked releasing his grip on her arm, hoping she'd say 'no' or at least be torn.

Peyton stared at him silently for a couple of seconds and then stepped further to grab her suitcases. "There's coffee in the kitchen if you want." He shifted his eyes nervously as it now only hit him this had indeed changed nothing. "When you leave, could you please see if everything's locked up the way it should be?" she asked seemingly indifferent. "Thanks."

With those words, she closed the door behind her and headed for the airport. She cried in her car with a sad anger. She despised him. But what worse: she loved him more; much, much more. It wasn't easy knowing she would probably never feel about anyone the way she felt about Lucas. However, at the same time she realized all too well this was the man who had treated her like a sick old dog one was tired of. So, yes, she loved him more than anything but not during any time last night or today did she even consider going back, ever. It had to due with self-respect –something he had destroyed and that she had to build up again-, with knowing better and with protecting herself.

Soon she'd be in LA, though, and then all would become easier.

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