Arctama
AN: Well I finally released that Konosuba fanfic so if you have the time then go check it out, and Kegi actually did the cover art for Arctama! *Ahem* anyways, with that little announcement out of the way let's get to the reviews
Reviews
Jayz21501: Consider yourself served my dear reader
Dragon knight 357: I've actually been writing that this whole time, but the story isn't about Jaune, the story is inspired from the fanfic [Book 1 of the System Series: In Remnant with Persona System] I enjoyed the premise of it, but the writing was bad not horrible just bad, you'll get what I mean if you just read it.
Karasabe: Who knows, I may do that in the future
Mayonnaise Zoro: Well you know what they say, being patient is always rewarding… I think that's how it goes? Anyways to answer your question the fall of beacon has not happened since the current events of Arctama start in early volume 2, but! This version of Volume 2 happens when everyone has officially graduated to second years, and to be more specific timeline wise, the Team RWBY vs Roman Torchwick fight which Jaune and Neo ended in a matter of seconds. Penny running away with Tama basically guarantees her survival since she won't be participating in the events of Volume 3, well that's if the events of volume 3 even happen, and lastly. It's not that I'm afraid of using characters from both series it's very far from it, I'm just lazy… hopefully it doesn't affect the story.
Also, as I mentioned earlier that Konosuba X RWBY story is already out so you can go read it if you want to.
Kharn: I already have someone else taking the role of Tsukuyo. Well, at least you got one of them right.
P0k3: I can see that happening… But she's already filling another role and no, it's not a villain role, god forbid that I make the same mistakes the writers at Rooster teeth did.
Guest: Well it's finally out and it has… a decent amount of recognition
Xealchim: It was too obvious… But good on you for getting it right…?
Ultimate Kuuga: Why thank you! I'll continue to do my best!
KnightVnox: Thank you! And yes, yes, it is
Now with the reviews over let's get this chapter rolling!
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Beta Reader - Haseoblade-Skyking01
Cover art by KegiSpringfield
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Insert – Gintama OST: 01 – Temee Raaaa! Soredemo Gintama Tsuiten no Kaaaa!
{The world of Remnant, a world where creatures of darkness called Grimm roam freely terrorizing everyone they see, for that however, we have Hunters and huntresses fighting against the horrible creatures of Darkness…. But despite their fight against one problem, humanity has forgotten their true ene-
*CRASH*
Hey Shinpachi! We ran out of pudding!
{J-Jaune?! Why the hell are you here?!}
I told you we ran out of pudding!
[And Ice cream]
Yeah, we also ran out of that too!
{Can't you see that now's not the time for that!? We're barely doing the intro dialogue!}
Bah! Who gives a crap about that anyways?! It's not like the audience will give a damn about this! And besides we already did this in the first chapter!
{I'm obligated under contract to do this every chapter! Now go outside and wait until I'm done with the rest of the damn dialogue!}
[I ain't leaving until I get my damn Ice cream you four eyed virgin!]
{I'm not a virgin!}
Beating your pathetic excuse of a dick doesn't count!
{Do you want to say that to my face blondie!}
You know what I said!
[I'll rip that stupid noodle you call a dick!]
*CRASH*
*BANG*
*THWACK*
{H-Hey! What are you doing?! You're not really going to rip it off, right?! Waitwaitwaitwait AHHHHH-!}
Sorry for the inconvenience, we'll continue with this story as planned…
[]
Chapter 3: Who knew drunkards and criminals could be better cops than the VPD
"What am I doing here? I should be asking you that!" Jaune exclaimed
"I work here!" Blake retorted
"Since when?!"
"Last year!"
"OBJECTION!"
"This isn't a court!" Blake exclaimed as she kicked Jaune's face in, the force making him crash into some tables, (Note: The OBJECTION! is a reference to the Phoenix Write: Ace Attorney series) Otose let a puff of smoke escape her mouth as she took a cigarrete out of her mouth
"That's coming out of your paycheck Blake" she simply said as she stared at the broken tables
"A-Ah! I-I'm sorry miss Otose! I didn't mean to do that" Blake bowed repeatedly as she kept apologizing with clear embarrassment etched in her voice
'What the? I don't remember Blake having emotions at all! She never acted like this even around her team! Dammit! So much for the Batman Jokes!' Jaune, with the help of Shinpachi managed to stand up again albeit he was a little tipsy from the head trauma he received
"I guess you were wrong about Blake, Jaune" Shinpachi turned to look at the blonde samurai
"I had no idea she had split personalities so lay off me!" he winced as his headache decided to act up
"That's not it at all…! It's just that when I'm around Ms. Otose it calms my mind and body, it makes me feel comfortable to show how I truly feel… She doesn't judge me for who and what I am…" adding to her statement she removed her bow to reveal her black cat ears with shame etched in her eyes, she expected to hear those dreaded words "Beast" "Abomination" "Mistake" just like everyone else in this damned world… But she did not expect their reactions
"I-I-I-It's a cat girl! Look Jaune she's a cat girl!" Shinpachi couldn't help but jump in joy at his "discovery"
"Damn it Shinpachi! Stop jumping around like that! I'm going to puke!" Jaune was already covering his mouth and once again he was forced to swallow it
"Y-you don't hate me?" this came as a shock to Blake, she's seen first-hand how pretty much most humans in Vale are racists to Faunus, but to see such a positive reaction...
"To give context to this idiot's screeching {Shut up!} Shinpachi comes from a village where they adore Faunus, hell! There's more faunus-human relationships than the whole four kingdoms combined!" Jaune chuckled at Blake's dumbfounded expression.
The village is called Edo, located near Atlas (Ironic ain't it) this village has thrived more than any other recorded villages in Atlas, to the point where it can be considered a city rather than a village, but it's refusal to join Atlas for "The disregard of the Faunus" and "That man… Wait, what was his name again? Irond*ck… Yeah we're not joining a nation with a man called Irond*ck in it" And that's how Ironwood got the nickname "The Irond*ck" *Ahem* going back on topic.
"I see…" She kept her face devoid of emotions but on the inside, she was ecstatic! Finally! a place other than Menagerie where Humans and Faunus could co-exist!
"Where is this Edo located in" she asked
"Ironically, it's in Atlas" Shinpachi replied, the conversation lasted for a while with the topic of the conversation being mostly focused about Edo and its own culture, this conversation lasted for quite a few hours evident by the broken moon of Remnant
"*Ahem* I don't mean to break up your little flirting session but you should be heading home Blake, it's already night time and your shift ended some time ago, actually it's about closing time so you idiots better scram" Otose stated as she grabbed her broom and started to push everyone out except for Penny and Tama
"Alright! Alright! You damn witch we're going! Hey Blakey, can you do me a favor and keep this meeting a secret from the others?" Jaune asked as he walked out of Snack Otose with Shinpachi who now took the responsibility of carrying a sleeping Neo
"I'll try but It won't be easy, you know how persistent they can be" Blake replied
"I know… Well, at least keep the information away from Yang, knowing her she'll spread the information like a damn wildfire" He knew that from experience and not the good kind either, just when he thought his life in beacon couldn't get worse the blonde Bastard (He considered calling her "the Blonde plague" But after visiting the Yoshiwara district he found out that Taiyang Xiao-long, the father of Yang and Ruby, had actually held the official nickname of the Blonde plague) had to somehow learn all his deep embarrassing secrets that he'd never want anyone to know and literally gossip about it to the whole freaking school! She even had the gall to talk about his secrets in his face!
If he ever saw the blonde brawler again he'll probably greet her by breaking her right arm A.K.A her masturbation arm…. She's surprisingly loud, how the rest of team RWBY and his own team were oblivious to this is a mystery that he'll probably never solve.
"I guess I'll be seeing you more often Jaune"
"I guess that's true… Hey Blake"
"What is it now?" Blake sounded a little peeved but didn't show it
"Nice Kimono, it really suits your character" Said Kimono was black in color with purple butterfly patterns in the lower parts of the Kimono
"… At least you've improved your flirting since your days in beacon"
"It's not flirting if it's true"
"Whatever makes you happy… And I guess, it's nice to see you vomit boy" with that Blake took her leave, leaving Jaune and Shinpachi to their own thoughts
"Vomit boy?" Shinpachi asked
"It's a long story that I won't bother with… Anyways, you should get home before your sister comes looking for you" Jaune said as he lifted Neo off Shinpachi's arms and carried her bridal style
"Yeah, you're right, I guess I'll see you later Jaune!"
"Just go home already before you get shanked by a homeless man!"
"What?" before he could inquire more, Jaune had already gone inside to get some well-deserved sleep
-Next Day-
Jaune Arc used to be a morning person key word used to be, ever since he founded Odd Jobs Arc he found that whenever he wasn't obligated to any work the vast amount of free time he had to sleep in was an absolute blessing! However, Shinpachi put an end to his peaceful slumbers as he forced him and Neo to wake up roughly at the same time he used to wake up in Beacon.
Luckily Otae called in the middle of the night to inform him that Shinpachi would be absent for a few days, something about an Arrow in his knee… But who gives a crap! Jaune can finally sleep peacefully!
[Jaune]
Nevermind
[I want a McRonalds kid's meal]
"… Don't you mean McDonalds"
[The writer doesn't want to get sued]
"Oh yeah that whole Disney fiasco…"
[Yeah, it took him two years to settle that in court…]
"Tch…. Fine I'll get up but you owe me for this" with a silent yawn and a few stretches to awaken the muscles in his arms and legs, he got up and took a thorough but quick shower, he might not admit it but he's still a clean freak on the inside.
Once he was done taking his shower he put on his clothes and waited outside for Neo to finish… Whatever the hell she was doing, while that was happening he went downstairs to greet Otose and watch the news for a bit.
"Blake? What are you doing here so early? I thought you were supposed to be in Beacon?" Jaune asked
"Today is Saturday" was her response
"Ah, sorry about that, I forgot the school's schedule and all that other crap"
"Well it has been one year since you've interacted in anything remotely educational so it's understandable" the cat faunus spoke as she was cleaning some tables
"I refuse to believe this idiot got any kind of education"
"Shut it you damn wrinkly potato sack! I was home schooled by my parents so school is nothing to me!"
"If that was true you wouldn't be here!"
"… touché…" Jaune watched the miniature TV (which is also an antique that somehow still works fine) for anything interesting in the channels but found nothing, but as he grabbed the remote to turn it off…
"The newly formed Shinsengumi have once again baffled everyone in Vale as they have officially broken the VPD's milestone record for the most arrests in history… Not that there were that many to begin with" the reporter muttered before putting up a smile
"However, we did manage to get footage on one of their recent Wearhouse raids courtesy of the Shinsengumi themselves" the reporter said and with a quick bow the screen changed, the first thing that caught Jaune's eyes was the man who lead them, you'd think a leader was someone who'd valiantly command his soldiers in battle with an aura of respect…. Except it wasn't like that at all, the man in front was none other than Qrow Branwen drinking his ass off while simultaneously bitch slapping a thug with the blunt side of his sword scythe.
However, before he could get drinking again he was yanked to the side by a gray haired young man, Mercury black is his name and kicking is his hobby…. Actually, his hobby is to cosplay as Sebastian and looks for jobs that requires butlers… He'd rather not talk about it (Note: Sebastian is a character from Black butler, his full name is Sebastian Michaelis)
Mercury is shown kicking an incoming thug in his blueberries before kicking the unfortunate soul into a small group of other thugs, and just like bowling pins, they were knocked back and ended up sprawled all over the floor.
"Man, these guys are really pathetic, you sure we can't just kill them Adam" this certainly caught Blake's attention to the TV, she never really bothered with the news unless it involved the white fang but that name, that single name made her drop everything she was doing and focus on the television
"We, were under strict others to keep them alive for interrogation, besides it wouldn't be satisfying to kill such a weak opponent" Adam said as he swiftly dispatched a group of thugs surrounding him with a single swipe of his sheathed chokutō Wilt (Note: a chokutō is a straight, one-edged Japanese sword that was produced prior to the 10th century.)
"What the hell?! That bastard… He was the one convinced me to stay in the white fang despite their wrong doings…! Yet he's here fighting alongside humans like he knew them since grade school! What cruel joke is this! Tell me Jaune what kind of Joke is this?! He hasn't had a redemption Arc yet but he works with the police like everything that happened in the past never happened!" What she failed to notice was, she had been choking Jaune for five minutes
"Stop… Choking… Me…!" He could barely speak let alone breath
"O-Oh… I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you!" She once again bowed apologetically
"Damn, I don't know whose worse Emo Blake or Emotional Blake" Jaune muttered to himself as he rubbed the sore spot on his neck
"Let's just get back to the video" Jaune simply nodded and turned back to the television
"*Burp* C'mon! Even Tai can put up more of a fight and he's sterile!" Qrow lazily swung his sword scythe shotgun thing? (Apparently its name is Harbinger) around like it was a wooden stick, hitting his opponents and almost knocking a few of his own allies in the process.
"What does he mean by that?"
"Don't worry about it, just drunk people talk" Jaune answered Blake's question as he grabbed a flask himself and started drinking from it
"You really have changed…" Blake could only stare at the blonde in front of her with both of awe and shock, if Jaune ever encountered Pyrrha… Poor girl will have a heart attack
"A lot can happen to a person in a year Blake, trust me on that" Jaune took a big gulp from his flask and sighed happily as he put his attention back to the television.
"Retreat!" A thug who is assumed to be the leader yelled as he littered the Wearhouse in smoke grenades, unfortunately their escape was short lived at the sight of several Shinsengumi members surrounding the Wearhouse with their weapons drawn.
"As you can see, the Shinsengumi are a forced to be reckoned with by criminals and maybe even huntsman since on occasion the Shinsengumi go on Grimm extermination missions, unfortunately we have no reco-" The Television was turned off via Neo shooting the living hell out of it with her umbrella
[It's time to go!]
"You'll have to pay for that Jaune" Otose smirked as he saw his exasperated expression
"Like hell I will! It's not my fault to begin with! You hear that Neo! It's coming out of your paycheck not mine!" Jaune exclaimed as he took another swing from his flask
[You don't pay me at all] Neo deadpanned as she grabbed Jaune by the back of his collar and dragged him out the door
"Hey! don't drag me around like that! I'm not crippled like Steven Hawking!"
[You might as well be, lazy ass] she bonked him in the head with her sign and threw Jaune unceremoniously on Sadaharu's back
"Tch, let's just hurry this up already" Jaune said as he sat upright behind Neo
[Don't worry this will be quick!] with that said Sadaharu took off running as fast as he could
"Goddammit! This is why I hate riding him!" he screamed as he clinged to Sadaharu's fur and clenching his eyes shut as he let out a high pitched girly scream.
A few minutes and "manly" screams later
Once they reached their destination Jaune jumped face first to the sweet sensation of cement getting slammed on his face
"Finally…! Sweet… sweet relief" It took the Blonde a few minutes to regain his bearings and while he was busy rolling around in the dirt Neo decided to enter McRonalds (I die a little on the inside whenever I write this word)
[I'd like to order a kid's meal please! And it better have a toy in it] Neo demanded as she swung her sign around
"Don't worry young lady we'll make sure to include the toy as well" the cashier said, something about her made the readers feel nostalgic? Like if we've seen her at some point… Okay let's use the power of deduction!
To begin our little deduction process let's start with the hair, just like his, this woman's hair was Blonde the difference being his hairstyle was messy and short while the mystery woman had it worn loose that fades to pale gold at the tips with a cowlick sticking out at the top.
Secondly, she has Iliac eyes and her bosoms are big, of course it's the blonde with the mommy issues Yang Xiao Long!
"Do you have a parent or guardian around, I doubt a little pipsqueak like you would be on her lonesome" Neo visibly shook in anger at being called a "pipsqueak" but for the sake of her beloved Kid's meal she'll let it slide, this obviously caused Yang to chuckle, it reminded her of Ruby when she gets treated like a child by her and the rest of Team RWBY.
[My guardian should be here right about…. Now]
"Neo, I think I broke my cannon!" (Note: He's referring to his d**k) Jaune called out as he shuffled his way inside
…
…
Vomit Boy?
"Mommy Issues?"
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AN: Le gasp! Jaune is face to face with Yang! Will Jaune break Yang's masturbating arm? Will Neo get her Kid's meal? And most important of all will it include a toy?! Well my faithful viewers you shall receive your answer in the next episode of Dragon b- Eh? We're not done yet? Oh! How could I forget our newest addition to this story…? Well it doesn't matter now, I hope you enjoy this little segment.
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Please teach us… Professor Arc!
Insert – Gintama OST: 35 – Ore mo, Mou Jump Sotsugyou Shi Nakya Ike nee Toshi da yo
We see our beloved Blonde Jaune Arc stand on a podium in an empty Japanese styled classroom, he's currently wearing a white lab coat, underneath said lab coat was a yellow long-sleeved dress shirt with a black tie loosely tied, he also had round glasses on him for decoration.
"Welcome to our first little QnA with your host Professor Arc… No, I am not related to that professor Arc in any way shape or form unless Coeur Al'ran comes from the heavens themselves and drops the obviously inferior version of Professor Arc here…. PM us dude" Our lovely professor muttered before throwing a coughing fit to throw off any intent listeners
"Anyways this series is a very short QnA segment where the writer will decide to answer one of your questions! Surprisingly, this comes from one of the writer's real-life friends who wants to be referred as AlbinoNuggy22. The question is {Jaune seems to be hanging around a lot of women now a days, do you think he'll be paired with anyone?} Well to answer your question Nuggy, the author doesn't care about the pairings right now, the closest thing he could do is tickle your buttholes with a shipping moment and then throw acid at your face when that shipping moment is ruined by some otherworldly force… But if I were to guess he'd probably pair me up with Winter due to our past in the war... That and he likes to mess with Qrow whenever the chance presents itself…
Well it seems that my time is up, remember readers, you can post your questions so they can be chosen by the writer to be answered by me in one of the next chapters of Arctama…. Oh and Nuggy, go stand outside and think about your actions today!"