Disclaimer—I do not own Harry Potter, Deadpool, or any of the characters therein. Nor do I make any moneys from the posting of this fanfiction.

Just a quick note. Sorry about the name change. I looked at the name and discovered I had misspelled it, but only had done so a day after I had posted it in the first place. Don't you know that made me feel like all different kinds of nitwit. Thanks for your patience.

Aloha! Welcome to the next chapter in our island tour. Remember to leave your reviews in the slotted sections to let the writer know what you think. Don't disturb the inhabitants and do not by any means feed Deadpool. You'll never be rid of him if you do.

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Chapter Two

2012…

They weren't on the list. Hermione went over the master list again and again, but not a single one of the large group of people that had died earlier that day had been on Fate's master list of deaths that should have occurred that day in London. And the more she looked, the more she found. More than thirty people that week alone had died that hadn't been on any of Fate's death lists—not even the last minute deaths list that tended to come after an injury that would have the person in a long term coma.

No, this wasn't right. It felt ever so wrong, but she didn't know what to do about it. Closing up the list, she started on her way over to the Department of Mysteries in the hope of getting some answers. Hermione was passing the auror's department when who should pull her into his office, but Harry.

"What's going on?" he demanded of her.

"What are you talking about? There's been quite a few things happening lately. Neville's gran passed. She was fighting to have her vulture hat be allowed to go with her. That was weird…"

"There are people dying that aren't on the list," he hissed.

She studied him a moment. "How do you know that?"

He sat down hard and said, "I read ahead on the list and my memory is fairly good." His eyes went intently onto her, as he demanded, "Tell me."

"That's just it," she said, sounding weary. "I don't know. I was hoping to find out if any sort of magical artifact has gone missing from the Department of Mysteries. I was on my way over there when you pulled me in."

"There's no guarantee that it came from there," he replied, leaning back in his chair. "Do you have any idea where else a magical artifact could have been taken from?"

"Something that strong?" She worried her lower lip. "There might be three to five different locations worldwide."

"Why so many locations?" he asked her.

"Because there are numerous magical objects that if they should get out into the world could cause such widespread death and destruction that would ultimately bring about the end of mankind."

Clearing his throat, Harry said in a chagrinned tone, "Oh is that all."

This had her chuckling, as she told him, "Luckily I can get a hold of most of the locations, as we have a working relationship. It's the one that I can't easily get a hold of that has me concerned."

"Who would that be?" he asked her.

"S.H.I.E.L.D.," she answered quietly. "They have warehouses all around the world that house everything from the scientific to the magical." Looking over to her longtime friend, she said, "To be honest, I don't think they know what they have over half the time when it comes to magical devices and objects." She thought it over and said, "They're a bunch of Doubting Thomases, Harry. Testing everything and then some. But unless they know what it's supposed to do or if it requires magic, it's futile."

"Do you think they're testing something that they shouldn't?"

She shook her head no. "They have their hands full at the moment with the aftermath of Loki and the invasion two months ago." She snorted dryly. "From what I've seen, they're still fixing Harlem from the time the Hulk had a play day with another manmade beast. This on top of all the damage done in Manhattan is keeping them very busy." Harry nodded to this. "But I wouldn't put it past their director to know what it might be and who has it."

"So what are you going to do?" he asked.

"Take a leave of absence," she told him. "I haven't a choice. These deaths are happening on my watch. I have to fix this."

"What if the Ministry won't allow it?"

She shrugged and said, "Then I'll quit. I was going to have to soon anyway." Smiling sadly, she explained to him, "It would have started to be difficult to explain why I wasn't aging soon."

He nodded to this slowly. "Are you ever going to come back?"

Hermione said nothing, as she stood up and went over to him. Kissing his cheek, she breathed, "I'll see you when it comes time for you, Harry."

"No goodbye?"

"Never goodbye. After all, I might see you before you have to leave this mortal coil," she murmured, as she turned and walked away.

…

She ended up quitting her job with the Ministry. There was no love lost by either party and so it wasn't a shocker when she said that she wasn't giving them two weeks' notice. Hermione cleared out her desk and went on her way out. Slipping into the cab, she waited until the car came to a stop to reap the man when he died of a heart attack and went on her way.

Hermione sat down with her coffee and was sipping on it when a tall man with dirty blond hair sat across from her. He leaned chin on his hand with his elbow on the table and just stared at her until she looked over to him. His smile was slow, as he kept looking at her.

"I saw what you did," he told her.

Taking a sip of her coffee, she thought over what he could have possibly have seen her do. "And what exactly would that be?"

Leaning back in his chair, he said, "You totally reaped that cab driver. Which I have to say was pretty boring. I was expecting something more exciting when it came to seeing someone being reaped."

Frowning she murmured, "Not to say that you're correct in what you saw…"

"We both know that I am," he interrupted.

"…but what exactly did you expecting when people died?"

He thought it over. "Fireworks would be nice."

Rolling her eyes, she muttered, "Perhaps you should die in China then. I heard they're big into fireworks there. Perhaps they can have them at your wake?"

"No can do, as I'm pretty sure that's one of the five or so countries that have band me from entering," he told her. "Besides I'm one of those people that are pretty hard to kill," he admitted. "Bullets, bombs, poison…there isn't much one person or another haven't tried to use to do me in."

He moved so quickly that not only was he right next to her within the next second, but was so with his chair as well. The man's muscular arm went around her shoulders, pulling her towards himself.

"Just admit it," he whispered against her ear. "You're not only a representative of death…" He sniffed at her hair, sighing, "You smell better than the last twelve I've met by the way." His lips deposited a lingering kiss on her earlobe. "The fact that you have skin and flesh is a big time turn on too." His lips moved lower to her neck, nipping it. Her small gasp at that had him smiling to himself. "But you're a kinky girl who likes herself tied up by crazed mercenaries dressed in red and black."

"Dammit, Wade!" Hermione hissed at him when she was suddenly aware of just who he was and what was going on. "You broke the fourth wall!"

"I did?" he asked, even though he knew damn well that he did.

"Yes!"

Smiling at her, he said, "What can I say, Sweet Cheeks? I like the way we grooved before. It can't be helped."

"The writer won't give you your chimichangas," she told him.

"Yes she will," he answered.

"And you know this how?" Hermione asked him.

"I have her cat."

Pressing her palm to her forehead, she muttered, "Please tell me that you just lied."

"Of course I did," he sighed. "That cat wouldn't come near me no matter how many times I tried to tell it that I was its friend and would give it all the taco meat it would ever want."

She took a healthy drink of her coffee before asking, "What are you doing here anyway? I thought you weren't even supposed to be introduced into the story until chapter three."

"Yeah, but I got bored and I wanted to show the readers just how pretty I am without the tumors and shit." He smiled at her, wiggling his eye brows. "You want me now more than ever, don't you?" He turned her face so they were now forehead to forehead, as he murmured, "I am sex on a stick after all."

She frowned. "What does that even mean?"

"I haven't a clue, but it sounds nearly as sexy as I am. So I went for it," he replied. "You know I'm right."

"You leave me speechless."

"I get that a lot." He leaned closer and brushed his lips over hers in a light kiss. "I've missed you." But then he pulled back slightly and said, "Though I have to say having you as a potential mate is different than having you be my bestest friend in the world."

"Yes, I suppose so," she replied. "The question that must be asked is if we have sexual chemistry at all of if this is just wishful thinking on the writer's part."

He nodded, proceeding to sound very serious, "Too true."

"Because if there isn't anything…" He cut her off by kissing her mouth hungrily.

Soon enough Hermione found herself climbing onto him and straddling his muscular body. Pulling her mouth off of his, they looked at each other stunned. "I…" she cleared her throat. "Yes, we have sexual chemistry."

"Very much so," he growled. "If there were any more of it, I'm sure we'd be arrested for public indecency." He grinned. "That's one thing I've never been arrested for. Want to have sex in public so we can pop that cherry?" He rested his head on her shoulder and whispered overdramatically, "Promise to be gentle with me."

"We aren't even supposed to be meeting until the middle of chapter three let alone having sex. And that's not going to be happening until the writer makes up her mind when that's going to happen—if it's going to be happening at all."

She attempted to get out of his lap, but was pulled right back down again. His hands flexed on the round, firm globes of her ass, as he muttered, "I've wanted to do that since the first story."

"Wade!" she hissed quietly.

He just laughed and said, "Well, here it is, Sweet Cheeks."

"What?" she asked him confused.

"Chapter three of course." With one last hard deep kiss, he said, "See you later!" And he vanished.

She sat there for a time wondering not for the first time how he transported himself as he did without magic. Thinking she had best get back to the story at hand, she pushed that thought to the back of her mind and concentrated once more on the mystery that would have her teaming up with the mad man.

TBC…

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Another chapter has been lassoed into the Internet. Hope that you enjoyed it. Review to let me know. Take care and have yourselves a fandango filled day!