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I can't bear it if she with any other person...I just want her for myself.
Oh God...the Pills are wearing away. No... No! Wait a bit longer!!
I just want her for myself
The words crescendoed in a jumble of unintelligible sounds until the sound made me sick. My hands fumbled in the darkness that constantly fade in and out. I touch my body, trying to find it.
God a bit longer... My heart leaped when I felt a lump. My fingers clumsily shook the fabric that stood between me and it. Don't fade away yet! A white bottle clanked on the floor.
I opened his mouth, inhaling to dissipate the nausea.
My mistake.
Before I could do anything, something was burning a pathway up my throat. Vomit just spewed from my mouth. My stomach churned. I fought to caught a single breath before I threw up again. I wrapped my arms around my torso as I gagged, feeling the mush sticking to my flesh.
The Pills have faded and I began to remember without the shield of the medication.
"Yuki...Yukino" a voice muttered. It started to scream, cry and beg. Darkness rolled in and out of the dim room. "Yukino!" It was all a slur... but I heard the anguish... That voice was in so much pain.
My throat began to ache...
Was it me...? Was I the one in so much pain...?
Everything is so dark...
Soon, the light eased in. I was no longer in my room. My face pressed against the side of the tub. My body hung lifelessly over the edge, gazing at my vomit. A soft moan echoed. Trying to adjust to the bright lights, my eyes roamed. My heart skipped. Crimson... There was blood running down my arm...
Blood... on my arm...
Blood...
"Yukino! Aya...killed her!!...Yukino's blood...on Aya..." Tears blurred my vision. I found my body lifting. "...on Aya..." Pieces of glass covered the tiled floor. My eyes lifted and saw the mirror posted over the sink was shattered. "Yukino's...blood"
In sudden rage, my fists smashed into the walls. My knees just dropped and I felt jagged pieces of glass digging under my skin. Still, my hands just crashed into the walls, the tub, the floor, the glass–anything they could. Just smashing and hitting and banging...
I started to scream, cry and beg.
I was in so much pain...
Soon, exhaustion brought me back into sanity. Bottles were tossed and their contents spilled. The walls had cracks. Blood, glass, and vomit were everywhere. A body – me – was sprawled on the floor, bleeding, bruised and broken.
...want her for myself...
Six months ago...Six months past when I first got...got...
"Aya!!" I just sprang up. Where is she? She would have come to give me my Lithium! "Aya... Where are you...?" My voice felt weak. Something is wrong... "Aya!"
I felt glass gashing into my feet as I limp to the closed door. I nearly fell again when I realize something. Why care? That... That thing killed Yukino! It was like a totally different person telling me this. The another one snapped right back, as if there was some argument in my head, No! I killed Yukino! Aya... Aya just did it for me!
Me...
It was ME.
I can't bear it if she with any other person
...I killed...
I cried out for Aya. "Aya! Where are you?!" You didn't kill her! I did... I did! I fucking did! Me! Me! ME!
Where are you, Aya?
...Then... I found her when I opened the door...
Her face was pressed against the carpet near the edge of the bathroom's entry "Aya...?" She did not move... No... She just lay there, her fingers wrapped around a small white bottle... She lay there as if she too was dead.