Here it is, chapter three, otherwise known as the Chapter de la Crap. I don't like it very much, but oh well. Thank you all reviewers, and I hope you enjoy this!
Immediately Madame Girys, all armed with Punjabs, flooded into the hallway. From down the hallway shouts of," Code one! Code one! Mary Sue army on premiseses!" The authoress, showing amazing presence of mind in an emergency, attempted to wiggle her way underneath one of the bed, and unfortunately only made it about halfway under, so her legs were sticking up into the air. The other students reacted in various ways, ranging from shrieking terror, to brandishing various magically appearing weapons such as rapiers and dictionaries, and sleeping(Flyingwolfatheart).
The first of the Sues came into view, and every student felt a chill run down their spines. Most had long blonde curly hair that reached the middle of their perfect backs, but some had red or brown hair, and one's hair was black. Their figures were essentially two triangles stacked on top of each other so the points touched. Their skin was perfect and flawless, and their eyes were either changing colors every few seconds or " deep hypnotic pools that were emerald green/crystal blue/sea blue/chocolate brown/ silvery gray that reflected a lifetime of suffering."
Their clothes ranged from rags to fine clothes fit of royalty to modern day outfits. All of them, however, bore an identically glassy expression reminiscent of Christine's during the The Phantom of the Opera song, and now that I think about, the rest of the movie from them on. Cold sweat dripped down the forehead's of the non-sleeping fans as the Sues began to sing in voices that were even higher than the last one," ERIK, ERIK, WE WANT ERIK!"
The Madames lunged at the Sues, Punjabs at the ready. Several of the Sues were the bad kind with magical powers as well as singing abilities and all the other Sparklypoo crap, using their Sparklypoo abilities to deflect the Girys with stunning accuracy, considering that about fifty percent of them were blinded as a result of a tragic childhood accident. More were appearing every minute, some carrying babies sired by Erik. Several were bemoaning tragic pasts, usually along the lines of " My father/brother/cousin abused me, and my mom hated me, and they kicked me out of the house, and I had to be a prostitute, and I developed schizophrenia, and then I got hired as a chorus girl at the Opera Populaire, but Carlotta dropped out, so I got to be the prima donna instead, and they also cast me as the prima ballerina, and I did a perfect job and Erik fell in love with me at first sight and-"
Suddenly, a booming voice that every fan recognized shouted," Insolent Sue, this brave young character! Poisoning my fan-dom!(a/n That was supposed to be stretched out, and pronounced like two different words. Just so you know. Read it like it's to the tune of the first thing Erik sings in the The Mirror song.)" It was the voice of Erik Destler, the Phantom of the Opera, the Angel of Music, the Red Death, the Devil's Child, the Living Corpse, Satan's Spawn, The Face of Death, Don Juan Triumphant, and many other fan-appointed names that I will not list here in the interest of keeping this story rated T. Think the Don Juan pants. Anyways, the glorious Erik was standing at the very back of the Sue horde, with the original Madame Giry, in all his caped glory(a/n I will be using Gerik, because he's my favorite. Michael didn't cut it for me.). The Sues, upon hearing their target's voice, turned around and began moving as a herd towards Erik and Madame Giry.
Madame Giry had whipped out a walkie talkie, and said into it," Giry One to Deranged Maniac, initiate plan CSS. Over."
Erik, who had also pulled out a walkie talkie, said into his," Deranged Maniac to Giry One, initiating plan CSS. Do we really need to use the walkie talkies? We're only a few feet apart. Over."
"Giry One to Deranged Maniac, just do it. Over." Then she shouted to the fans," Students, close your eyes!" Such was their terror from the Sue attack that they actually tore their eyes away from Erik long enough to obey. Several seconds later, there was a loud swooshing sound, followed by a series of pops. Another swoosh, and more pops. Then from Madame Giry," You can open your eyes now, students." They did, and before they resumed their DroolFestUSA over Erik, they noticed that a) all the Sues had vanished, leaving only pink sparkles and b) Erik's Punjab was not in sight, but he was calmly buttoning up his shirt. The fans then did a double take, and saw that Erik was, in fact, buttoning up his shirt. One said in a squeaky voice," Um, what exactly is plan CSS?"
Erik, having finished buttoning, replied," It means that I swoosh my cape with my shirt open."
Madame filled in," It's so sexy that it causes the heads of all straight females and gay males within a mile heads to explode. I'm immune since I'm married, with a kid. And I'm old."
Erik was dusting sparkles off his cape as he added," The first time I tried that I seduced, like, a dozen Christines. It was amazing. They were all throwing themselves at my feet. Looking back, that would have been really helpful back in Don Juan Triumphant."
One of the Giry clones had walked up to the original Madame, and they were trying to figure out how the Sues had made it past security. They decided to go check on the Christine Security Barbies, and Erik had elected to go with them for the obvious reason. The phans all wanted to be with Erik if at all possible, so they joined the group heading up the candlelight hallway. They made it about ten feet before there was a ," Guys, a little help here?" from the authoress, who was still stuck under the bed. With a groan, the original Madame Giry and Erik helped tug the authoress out from underneath the bed. Blushing furiously, she adjusted her cape before joining the slow-moving group.
After passing through the main room and the hole from Supergirrl's fourwheeler crash, and passing down a long hallway decorated with pictures of Christine from every possible angle( Erik's excuse was that he needed them for his upcoming opera Don Juan Tries Again, the sequel to Don Juan Triumphant.). When they finally reached the guard room, the dozen Christines dressed in police officer uniforms were all gathered around one Christine, who was lounging on the floor. In her hands was a cheerily beeping Gameboy, and the other Christines were giving her advice on the game. One was shouting," Get the mushroom!" while another was telling her to " Get four more gold coins, so you could get another life." When they finally tore their gazes from the Gameboy long enough to notice the crowd assembled around Madame Giry, the one with the Gameboy looked up and asked what was wrong, while three other Christines waved at Erik, blew kisses at him, and basically flirted the crap out of themselves. Erik was waving back when one of the Giry clones wacked him on the back of the head with her cane. The original Madame Giry had not answered the Christine's question, and was glaring coldly at her as she said in a low voice," Who gave you the Gameboy?" The Christine pointed to the authoress, who was attempting to slink from the room. When all of the Girys fixed their cold stares on the authoress she muttered," Crap."
Not my best work, but please review!