Authors note: Thanks for reading. Probably won't be writing for awhile, but you never know.
The gym is really loud. No matter which way you look green and purple invade your eye sight. At the moment I'm more concerned with finding Spencer's parents but it really isn't that hard. They sit in the same spot every time I come. Middle section fifth row and I see the older blonde and her husband. I sigh in relief. It feels good seeing them and the second they see me they smile and wave me up. Arthur, Spencer's father, takes me in a hug. The Carlin's are the closest thing that I have to Family. Spencer was afraid to tell them that I was gay because she wasn't sure how her mom would respond. Both Spencer and I were quite relieved when "So your point is?" left her mothers lips. It may have been because Mrs. Carlin had just asked if we wanted to play a game of clue and Spencer responded with Ashley's gay.
Either way they have been quite accepting. I wish I had parents like Spencer's but we can't all have parents that realize that you exist. This isn't time to get carried away with such thoughts.
"Hey, Mr and Mrs Carlin. Did I miss anything important?" finally let go of me and nodded excitedly.
"Yes! Duke is here and UCLA and USC and Penn State!" He was excited. So was . She was behind Arthur nodding her head just as animatedly. Their excitement must have rubbed off on me because I had never been so excited for a basketball game.
We all sat down and waited for the game to start. You could hear roaring all over the gym and it echoed. One side would scream something and then the other side would scream it back with their team name. The Cobras vs the Rattlers. I suppose everyone just names their school team after snakes but I'm not going to judge, it could be much worse. The game is about to start and I only know this because of the loud buzzing sound.
I see Spencer down sitting with the cheerleaders but she doesn't look up this way and she seems rather distracted. Doesn't matter because their introducing the team and I listen to the announcer.
"Aiden Dennison and finally Glen Carlin!" The whole room erupts into applause. This is to go to the state championship. This is Aiden and Glen's last year on the team and everyone is excited to go for victory. I don't really know what it's called so saying gold may make me sound extremely stupid.
The first half goes by with screaming at each other but finally it comes to half-time. The Cobras make their way to the locker room with a score of 56-42. The Cobras have a huge chance of making it to state but Aiden is playing like shit. He lost control of the ball about 7 times and luckily Glen made the recovery. Aiden is starting to look pissed off at Glen but it's his own fault. If he can't hold on to the ball why the hell is he point guard? I will never understand coaches.
None the less, that's the last thing on my mind. Now it's Spencer's time to shine and I plan to watch every moment of it. I am, however, slightly distracted by the brunette that I saw earlier. She has a very pretty smile and I find myself smiling at her. Arthur must see this because he gently nudges me and I go back to watching Spencer.
They start with some flips. Then they do something that involves bending and springing. I have no idea what it is called and I never even thought to ask Spencer. For a second I feel bad and I feel even worse thinking that I hadn't even been paying attention to her. What kinda friend doesn't take an interest in her best friends sport? The routine ends and I see everyone stand up and cheer. In my thinking I missed the whole performance. Sometimes I wonder why Spencer is friends with me.
I excuse myself from the Carlin's and rush to the bath room. I have some serious thinking to do. For once I need to be a better friend to Spencer and get my priorities right. Come tomorrow I'll probably forget I had this conversation with myself. This only serves to make me feel worse about myself.
--
The Carlin's are hugging and congratulating Glen on the win. They congratulated Aiden but he just walked away with a scowl and Spencer ran after him. She has yet to notice that I even exist. For a second I kind of question it myself. The second Glen hugs me the world seems to fall into place and I hug him back.
"Good job Glen. I'm proud of you." He doesn't say anything to me but I feel his smile and I know he's happy because he squeezes me tighter. The embrace soon comes to an end as he walks away to go talk to the rest of his team. Usually after games the Carlin's go out for dinner and bring me with but Spencer runs back into the gym and whispers into her fathers ear. He looks upset but nods his head. Then she runs away back to Aiden and grabs his hand. I don't show that I'm let down and I smile at Arthur. For some reason I think he knows that something isn't right but I don't question it.
"Spencer's going out to celebrate with Aiden." He's smiling but it doesn't reach his eyes. I know he's not happy about it.
"You agreed to that!?" Paula is angry and I could see why. Glen should be getting the attention from his sister. It's a literal case of bro's before hoes. Glen runs up excited holding Madison's hand.
"Mom, Dad, Madison and I are going to go out with Spencer and Aiden. I figured the family could celebrate tomorrow." It's a losing battle so they just agree. I don't know where this leaves me because I have no where to go.
"Ashley, you can still come over, wait up for Spencer?" I know Paula is only trying to make me feel like I fit in somewhere. I don't fit in and I know it. If I go over there and Spencer doesn't want me there or doesn't come home from the party tonight I would feel quite awkward. The choice isn't hard to make and I shake my head. Paula looks defeated. "Okay, then we'll see you tomorrow for the celebration that was suppose to take place tonight." She glares towards Glen but it's in a playful manner.
"Ash you could come out with the four of us?" But by the look on Madison's face I know that's not an option either so I simply deny the offer with a shake of the head.
The Carlin's leave and so do Glen and Madison. Yesterday I could have swore this was what I wanted and now that I'm getting it I'm finding it to be quite the burden. My pocket vibrates
1 new text
Spencer: u goin 2 Madison's party?
Me: No.
I'm still standing in the gym waiting for everyone to clear out. Even after everyone is gone I'm still waiting for a text back. It doesn't come. Just as I'm getting into my car my pocket vibrates.
1 new text
Spencer:ok
And that's all she has to say. I'm her best friend and all she can say is okay. I have no idea what happened from this afternoon till now but I can say that I'm not a fan of my current situation. I re-read her text message a few times. ok. Just ok. This shouldn't bother me so much. For some reason I have the urge to say something back as if I have the right to the last word.
Me: yeah.
I don't have a right to the last word but for some reason it makes me feel better. At the moment I don't have my best friend to make me feel better so I'll stick to the only comfort I have. That comfort lies in just a single word.
yeah.
--
Tonight should be a happy night filled with partying with friends and people close to me. It's only 8:30 so I should be out with the Carlin's eating dinner and celebrating the times yet to come. Instead I'm at home lying in bed. I've actually opened up a book and I'm reading the words on the pages. All my sarcasm has been wiped out. My plans were to hang out with Spencer's family and then with Spencer but those plans have been wiped clean as well. So I'm doing the next best thing; reading a book. Don't worry it won't last long. Maybe five to ten minutes in which I'll put in a movie and fall asleep. I really have no idea when I got so pathetic.
Don't get me wrong, The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a great book but at the moment I'm tried of reading and my eyes have started to burn a bit. So I go to my DVD collection and put in a DVD of a movie Spencer and I made when we were 13. Well Spencer made it, Glen and I got the privilege of acting in it. I flick the light next to my bed off and turn on the bloopers. I just want to hear Spencer yell at us about how we need to remember our lines and come in on cue. We were young and didn't care. It's 9:30 and I decide to rest my eyes. I really meant to just rest my eyes but I fall asleep very quickly. I'm a true teenager. Or maybe I'm the equivalent of 10 year old. It's been a rough day.