A/N: 6 reviews already! I love you all so much! This did take a little longer than chapter 2, but it's not easy to come up with a funny dare. Emmett the Transvestite was on a whim. I had to actually think about this one. I'm awaiting your reviews with patience.

I have a question for you, though. Do you think this story should have an ending? 0r should I just keep going, and turn it into this infinitely funny infinite story? It's up to you.

Lauren POV.

Bella was laughing. She was happy. Ugh. Why? How come she had everything there was to have? She just sat there, hugging Edward. My Edward. If Bella hadn't came along and ruined everything, that could have been me whose hair he was kissing. To whom he was whispering "I love you". I had to make her suffer. I needed to make her seriously suffer.

Many ideas were forming themselves in my head. What if I made her tell Edward she hated him? No. The dare would have to be somewhat humorous. And a bit more embarrassing than that. It could include...Eric Yorkie? I knew he had a "thing" for her when she first moved in. Hell, every guy in the school had a thing for her when she first moved in. There was Mike, Eric, Ben, and even...ugh, Coach Clapp thought she was "cute". Gross. And then it hit me.

After the laughter from Emmett's dare died down, Jessica spun the bottle again. I crossed my fingers and prayed for the best. When the bottle stopped, it was pointing towards me. An evil grin crept up on my face.

"Lauren, who are you going to dare?" Jessica asked. She seemed bored that the bottle would never come her way.

"Bella." I answered simply. Edward & Bella sighed in unison. What was he, attached to her? God.

"Yes, Lauren?" Bella wanted to know. She had a look of hopelessness on her face. She didn't even know what was coming her way.

"I want you to stand up. And I want you to ramble - and I mean ramble - about how sexy and hot you think Coach Clapp is until I say stop." I felt smug. Bella rolled her eyes, as if to say 'Was that the extent of her creativity?' and got up. She inhaled once, and began, making sure Coach Clapp was nowhere to be seen.

"Alright then. From the moment I walked in the gym, I could tell he was cute. He just had that face, and that gorgeous smile, and those big...brown eyes. He was beautiful. And I wished I could see him every waking moment of every single day....." She went on and on. And the best part was that she actually sounded convincing. I sneakily pulled out my cell phone.

"Coach Clapp?" I whispered so no one would hear me. They were all too busy watching Bella anyway. "I need you to come here right away. One of the students started a fire." It wasn't the most creative lie I could come up with, but it would do.

I listened to Bella's babbling for about another 5 minutes, when Coach Clapp pushed the door open. The sound was muffled by the sound of everyone's laughter.

"And ever since then, I've dreamt about kissing him passionately..." She sighed. His face brightened.

"You feel that way, too?" He said, glowing. "I know our relationship is forbidden, because of the age difference, but I love you, Bella Swan. I thought you were with Edward, but now, I know the truth. They can fire me, so be it." He finished, and before Bella could protest, he picked her up in his arms, and made out with her. The gym went crazy. Everyone was giggling, chortling, chuckling, roaring. You name it, they were doing it. Bella was trying in vain to push him away, but Coach Clapp was a ...big...man. He didn't even feel it.

I looked down to see Edward's reaction. He didn't seem happy. His gorgeous eyes were glaring at me furiously. I even thought I heard a growl rumble inside his chest. Don't be silly, I told myself, it's not like he's a bear or a wolf or anything. After a couple of minutes, Coach Clapp's tongue was still down Bella's throat. Edward couldn't take it anymore. In a flash, he pulled his 'sweetheart' out of his instructors' passionate grasp.

"Leave. Her. Alone." He warned him. Everyone could hear the unspoken threat in his words.

Coach Clapp raised his hands, slowly backing away. "I'm- I'm- I'm sorry, Edward. But Bella has those feelings for me too. I know it's tough, kiddo. But life isn't fair. We're in love." He said helpessly. This was too much. I cracked up, fearing that my laugh sounded more like a cackle. I didn't care. I shut up, though, when Rosalie menacingly looked my way.

"It was a dare, you IDIOT!" Edward yelled at him. No one had seen him this angry before. I thought he might actually punch the coach. He could definitely take him, with those beautiful muscles of his. Coach Clapp's expression went from confused, to shocked, to embarrassed, to scared, in about 3 seconds flat. He made a run for it.

It took a while for everyone to calm back down. I could hear Edward murmuring softly to Bella, "Do you want to go home, love?". And I could see Bella shake her head. Her face was beet red. She looked like she was going to explode.

I settled back down. You don't mess with Lauren's man. I thought.

I personally think Emmett The Transvestite was funnier, but I want to hear your opinion. For the record, Bella's head shake was a no. She's gonna get Lauren back GOOD.

Love for the story + opinions + criticism = Reviews = Inspiration = NEW CHAPTER! You do the math.