I woke up from my first day's work at the Base, looking around to be next to the pig, Tucker. I held back a snicker as I thought of a prank, and proceeded to go behind the base where the tank was kept.
"Hey Shelia! Could you do me a favour?" She woke up quietly.
"Depending."
"Do you hate Tucker?"
"What do you want me to do?" she asked immediately, making me laugh.
"I need you to go up near Tucker and shoot into the sky to wake him up. As soon as I disappear into the base, count to ten and at ten, shoot off. Don't shoot the base, shoot off near the mountains, if possible."
"It's my pleasure." She would've smiled happily if she could, I bet.
I ran back into the base and waited til the count of ten, hearing the shot. It shook the base with a great force, as I shouted, "WAKE UP SUNSHINE!"
He woke up, flailing his arms in surprise. I fell to my side laughing at his stupidity.
"I am going to kill you, U-" he stopped with a pause.
"Umm... What was your name again?"
I shook my head. "Oh yeah, I never told you guys, did I? I'm... Taco. Yeah, let's go with that."
Tucker chuckled, to which I would've given him a death glare if he could've seen through my mask.
"Fuck you." I said, as he acted innocent.
"Normally I'd take the offer, but with your bitchy attitude, I'm going to have to decline. I'd like it to not burn when I pee. Is that why you're bitchy? I didn't even say anything either!"
I stared at him with angry silence.
"If you like my face that much, take a picture. That way you can make out with it."
I just reached over and slapped him, just as Church walked in.
"About time someone gave him a good slap."
"No kidding, Church... No kidding."
"What's on the menu for work today?"
"Umm... We don't know, we don't really do anything." Tucker interrupted me.
"So basically you just told me that you enrolled into this war, this base aaaaand... you do nothing but stratch your balls?" I asked.
"Well, I wouldn't say that..." Caboose said, standing at the entrance of the room.
It wasn't even 10 in the morning and we all were already starting our routine of war.
I sat at watch, listening to Simmons downstairs snoring. You would figure they would want us up and early in times of war. But noo, I got stuck with the lazy squad. Sarge and Grif were up and awake, and were quiet for once, for the love of God. Too bad I just jinxxed myself. I should learn to keep my mouth shut.
"Grif, go man the base outside!"
"But the new guy got out there early!"
Sarge came up above with Grif, and looked from me to him. "Strawberry! You go negotiate surrender with the Blues!"
I nodded and jumped off the roof.
"And Strawberry!"
"Yeah?"
"They're the ones surrendering."
"Wha...?" I almost asked, before shaking it off and going off towards the Blue's base.
I continued on my way, ignoring his 'advice' as if he actually thought I was dumb enough to be confused. Wait... Well, I'm on this team so of course he would be.
Why did I get stuck with all these guys anyway?
I arrived at Blue Base, sighing over the cliff, and running up to it. As I expected, I was stopped.
"Stop! What are you doing here, Red vermin?" a teal guy pointing a big ass gun at me.
"Whoa! I don't know, my commander, nice one at that, told me to negotiate a surrender with the Blues. This is really fucking boring, so can I pretend we went through all this?"
"I think I like you, Red. Lemme get my teammates. You stay right there."
I nodded. "Not like I was going anywhere anyways."
The teal guy emerged from the door in front of me with a pale blue guy and Alissa.
"Alissa!" I exclaimed, strangely happy to see her.
"Hello Greg." She said plainly, seemingly without any emotion.
"What's the matter?"
"What do you mean?"
"You're... I'm not sure."
"What do you need?"
"The Reds wanted me to get you guys to surrender, and I'm fed up with them so I took the assignment to get away from them. Is it possible to switch teams? Please tell me so." I begged.
"You know this scum, Taco?" the pale blue one asked her.
I held back a snicker. "That's the name you chose? Taco?"
By the tone of her voice, she wasn't amused. But before she could speak, my radio activated.
"Strawberry! How goes the job?" Sarge asked, while the sounds of Simmons and Grif fighting were in the background.
"Strawberry?" she raised an eyebrow, having now some blackmail.
"Y-Yeah Sarge! I'm in the middle of it right now actually. So to save my humiliation, I'm gonna go now." I went offline and closed my eyes.
"Looks like your commander loves picking inconvenient times to come on." the teal guy laughed.
I stood in front of the three of them, hating my comrades even more.
"Yeah, sure seems like it..."