Hi everybody. Hey, guess what? This chapter is actually exactly 5,000 words! Minus all this, you know.

Expect this to be the last time you guys see me for a while. I shouldn't even be doing this at all right now, either. Hehe, don't tell Mum, or my sister, or my brother, or Dad, or my maths teacher. See, right now, I'm supposed to be neck-deep in revision.

And don't get me wrong-I so am! Unfortunately, my head wanted me to do this. So yeah. Definitely though, this is the last you'll see of me for the forseeable future. I think my exams end on the 19th June, so if I'm up to it, you might see a new chapter then! Just to celebrate. And then a few months later, to celebrate my lack of a career when I end up with terrible grades! Sad thing is, I'm not even kidding. That's going to be the worst day of my life. But until then; yay! New chapter!

If you like this chapter, drop a thank you to my most frequent reviewer (and me, obviously!) as AnonyMouse made the request a little while ago, "Oh, and Saphie's shenanigans are greatness-we totally need an adventure of the hospital ward sleeping arrangements and Merowian's (EEEEEE! MEROWIAN!) chatterboxing! Please?" You ready for this? Because I don't think I am. Yeah. This is gonna be a weird one.

I don't own anything, anyone or anywhere you recognise. Sapphire, along with a few others who'll crop up every now and then, are mine.

Alright, and for this particular chapter, you should have read Chapter 11 of 'Anxious, Worn Out, and With a Bad Concussion'. Though that is the first part of a two-part chapter...so to keep consistent, you might want to read chapter 12 as well. It's up to you. You decide how you read my story! I've done enough! XD

Okay, deep breaths, everyone. For AnonyMouse, and any other curious being with the same obsession of Merowian as my good friend and reviewer, this is what happened when Cobalt spent the night in the infirmary with Merowian. See you on the other side! :D

Oh, and good luck with exams, everyone!

I doubt that many people recognise it, but being able to fall asleep during the night, letting the darkness in the world all pass by without knowing or being awake to see the world in its darkest moments...it's a gift. Just sleeping the whole night through. It's brilliant.

And I can understand why so few people realise this. It's the most stupid-sounding philosophical statement ever made, but it is the truth.

And fair enough, I had no idea how much I love sleep. You never do know, until you've stayed up the entire night, or at least some of it. And then all that happens is you're grateful for sleep, and then you'll have forgotten all about it when the night comes back around again.

I've stayed up all night on a couple of occasions. Once, during summer when I wanted to see how badly I could mess with my body clock, I stayed up the whole night after sleeping the entire day. I went to sleep again that morning, and woke up the morning after, apparently. All it did was make me very hungry, which was a little out of the ordinary.

Another time was when I got a tummy bug from my mad childhood friend, Nate, and just lay awake the entire night with stomach pains. I think it was five-ish when I had to make a dash for the toilet and empty my stomach. That was an unpleasant weekend.

But no, despite these past occurrences, there has only been one event that will always make me so satisfied with the prospect of sleeping away the hours.

The night in the infirmary...with Merowian.

Did you hear that? Simply that phrase sends every Cadet in existence screaming and scurrying for shelter. Birds flutter their wings and take to the skies, heading for anywhere that isn't within Merowian's reach. Children flee and launch themselves under the nearest cover. And if there were any left, the fabled race of the Ancients would gather, and pray for my safety, and that the Lifestream would have mercy and just kill me now.

And I would have gladly welcomed it, as my eyes caught my teacher's across the room, rolling into the room on the bed with doctors and nurses flanking me. No doubt they knew Merowian; as instantly as they had me secured, they simply disappeared, their eagerness to get out of the room evident.

Our expressions were confused, and we were clearly asking ourselves the same question; what happened to him? Heh, hopefully, anyway. I half-expected the crazy guy to already know I was a girl. At least he hadn't brought it up.

With sarcastic contempt, the Second Class SOLDIER explained to me how he got his injury; the other class of Cadets burning his arm seriously enough to have him taken to get it checked out. He didn't mention who it was, which was a shame. But I was amazed at it, even so; who knew a simple Cadet was able to use Materia so effectively?

Since Merowian told me the embarrassing tale of how he wound up there, I had to return the favour, telling him about my training with Genesis. It was four hours in, and I found myself distracted, and the evil man snuck up behind me, leaning over and whispering something in my ear. I didn't catch what he said, because of pure fright that rendered my ears temporarily useless, and spun to stare at him - and for the first time in my life, I caused myself an injury doing the most mundane and ordinary action. My body spun, but my right leg oddly refused to. My swift twist had put my knee through some of the most excruciating pain I've ever felt, and it took a lot of willpower to keep myself from letting out a squeal (because my squeals are so high-pitched they can break glass) and I simply collapsed to the floor and groaned, cradling my injured knee.

Genesis was understandably stumped, settling for just staring at me for a few seconds, until he got a vague idea of what had happened. And then naturally, he started laughing. And stayed laughing, for quite some time, until I was able to get him to understand that I was actually in a lot of pain. It took some convincing, through gritted teeth, but eventually the redhead called for the infirmary.

A team of medics arrived in a commendably short time, armed to the teeth with all sorts of medical mumbo jumbo. They sprayed the most of my leg with magic spray, the stuff they use on blitzballers when they've had an injury to numb the area, and with no warning - and no asking whether or not I was alright - they jerked the bottom half of my leg back into place.

Heh, I screamed then! Well, I tried to make it more masculine, but...yeah, you can appreciate that didn't work out too well. The medics awarded me with an icepack to hold to my knee, a tub full of painkillers and advice on how to live over the next few days.

What was Genesis' reaction? "Alright, we'll have a break. Be ready in fifteen minutes." Of course, he only said this once the medics had left. Ugh. Sometimes I think he forgets I'm not exactly SOLDIER-resilient, given that I'm NOT a SOLDIER yet. Even if he can suffer a killing blow and continue fighting, it doesn't mean I can!

I reiterated this to Merowian, complaining and exaggerating perhaps a tad more than necessary, and received a quizzical look for my trouble. "You are a strange little Cadet, aren't you?" he simply observed, and I let my head hang, causing a laugh to bubble up from the SOLDIER.

I glared up at him irritably. "You're hardly one to talk!" I argued with a glare, and immediately felt childish as the Second Class raised an eyebrow in my direction, looking amused. I tried not to let it affect me, and continued sarcastically, "If you were in any way sane, you wouldn't be in an infirmary nursing a wound caused by Cadets."

He pretended to take offense, far too dramatically. "Oh, now that hurts, right here. You're a mean person, Chocobo-fast Cobalt. I can tell what you're thinking. You're very very mean!" he exclaimed, putting the back of his hand to his forehead and pretending to faint, falling back into his bed. A very faint squeak came from his bed as he crashed back onto it.

I didn't even think about it before I gave him a sceptical look. "You can tell what I'm thinking," I repeated, not even phrasing it as a question. Merowian looked at me with cocky self-assurance, which told me everything I needed to know.

The man was an idiot.

And a big one.

"You bet I can!" the SOLDIER enthusiastically replied, perking up in his bed. "I'll send you my thoughts, and you'll be able to tell me what I'm telling you!"

Intrigued - if only to find out how he'd carry this out - I sat upright and folded my left leg beneath me. "Alright, I don't see the harm of showing you up like this," I agreed with a small shrug, before leaning forward and staring at the man. He looked the tiniest bit affronted, but quickly brushed it off.

"Okay. Deep breaths, Chocobo. You need to be calm. Have an open mind. Try not to be thinking of anything," he advised me, and as immediately as he said the last, my mind stirred and started thrusting everything I knew at my conscious thought.

"How on Gaia am I supposed to not think of anything, huh?" I rebuked, rolling my eyes. Merowian's reaction was to pout, and then look like he was seriously thinking for a few moments.

After a short few moments of contemplation, he shrugged. "Not sure, I've only ever done the thought part of this. I'm psychic, so only I can do that," he explained, and instantly had me looking disbelieving.

"...Psychic," I echoed, looking at the SOLDIER with raised eyebrows. "Really."

He seemed to be getting a bit annoyed, and to be honest, I couldn't blame him. But I can't help it if I'm cynical! "...Yes," he replied, in the same obvious tone of voice, and narrowed his bright eyes. "Look at me, and think about...oh, I don't know, puppies, or something."

My instantaneous reaction was to think of the two puppies Zack and I had encountered and played with, but then I decided that my thoughts were askew enough, and stared at the SOLDIER with attentive eyes. He was joking, obviously, but I was being noticeably and unnecessarily rude.

I stared at Merowian, waiting for anything to happen; and when it did, I believe I was perfectly justified in my reaction. With a grin, he started loudly whispering, "Jumping back on the bed really hurt my arm, and my backside!" I threw one of my pillows at the laughing SOLDIER.

He nearly leapt five feet in the air to avoid it, and quickly tossed it back to me, as the two of us collapsed into childish laughter in the otherwise empty infirmary.

"What was I telling you? Hey? What was I thinking?" Merowian interrogated enthusiastically, and as I shoved the pillow back beneath me and tried to adjust it to help me get more comfortable, the SOLDIER gave a victorious chuckle. "Did I lie? You see? Psychic!"

"If those are your entire psychic capabilities," I remarked sarcastically, still shuffling with the pillow, "I think the world has little to worry about if you ever go mad and try to destroy the planet like some evil villain from a video game."

Merowian looked at me with an expression that told me he thought I was insane. "Alright, Chocobo, I may be bonkers, but you give me a run for my money," he submitted, and I sent him a glare, still fiddling with my pillow. "What are you doing?" the SOLDIER asked me, suddenly sounding childishly inquisitive.

I turned to glare at the uncomfortable pillow. "I'm trying to get even a little comfortable," I answered gruffly, "but it isn't working. It never works."

"Seriously, do you not like pillows?" Merowian deadpanned, and I looked at him, his good arm pretending to be folded over the bad one and his eyebrows inches higher than normal.

I huffed, and collapsed back into discomfort, glaring at nothing like a sulky child. "Pillows are fine. Pillows don't bother me. It's beds that bug me."

Merowian propped his good arm up on the little headboard of the infirmary beds, and rested his cheek on his fist, looking at me with a lazily intrigued grin. "You don't like beds?" he reiterated, watching me with much enjoyment as I twisted and turned in position, still scowling.

"I thought this was as wide-spread as that video," I pondered to myself, my eyes narrowing as I heard the childish teacher opposite me snort at the mere mention of the darned thing. I explained myself absentmindedly, "I don't sleep in beds. I haven't slept in a bed in years. I hate it." I decided not to tell him about sleeping on my head as an alternative. I figured he had plenty of ammunition against me already, and I had this entire night to get through.

"I...see," he answered, sounding for the entire world like he didn't, but still with that unique childishness that seemed to never leave him. I spun and tried the bed sideways, lying across it with my head and my legs hanging off the sides; and I was still far too uncomfortable with the bed on my back.

I flipped myself over to be lying on my tummy, trying to get comfortable, but it was difficult. And not for the reasons I had anticipated; it was Merowian on the other side of the room, watching me with this strange expression of mystification spread across his fun-loving, idiotic mug. It was what he said next that nearly gave me a heart attack, and assisted me in my path to comfort by having me leap off the bed in fright.

"Would you like me to join you, then?"

The way in which my terrifying teacher said that had a mental picture of Verne pop straight into my head, the receptionist that took admiration to its extremes back some time ago. I stared at Merowian with my eyelids wide enough for my eyes to fall out, my neck and the rest of my body quite strangely twisted from where I had fallen from the bed. "Please tell me that you aren't being serious right now," I pleaded, my only response for far too long being the SOLDIER's raucous, hysterical laughter.

"Aww, that's disappointing! Rejection; and you were so cute, too!" he whined, barely getting through the sentence before his laughter overtook him again. Red in the face from the fall, and the embarrassment of what he had just suggested - and clearly didn't mean - I could do nothing but lie on my neck with my legs in the air and glare at the SOLDIER.

...

"You wanna know something about me?"

Merowian had been nattering on mindlessly for the guts of an hour now. The occasional nurse would come in to flutter about the room, analysing whatever sort of data they got from machines or other medical stuff, giving me a strange look before their departure.

I, desperately trying and failing to ignore the Second Class' nonsensical chatter, had been limping around the room in search of the best place to rest my head. Yes, it's as ridiculous as it sounds. The longest I've spent in one place is fifteen minutes, the shortest being a few seconds before realising that I'd never be comfortable in that place. I refuse to give examples.

I'd learnt three things so far tonight, listed in increasing order of importance; Merowian was very stubborn back when he was little and 'cute', there was nowhere comfortable in the infirmary, and I should never get stuck all night with SOLDIER Edward Merowian. The man was ridiculous, and not in a genius way, in a stupid way.

I submitted with an eye roll, and pushed myself up with my back against the wall, stretching out my right leg to hop on my left as I had been doing all night, my left hand on the wall as I navigated through the infirmary. I could feel Merowian's grin as he told me what he wanted to say, "I am the product of a lab experiment gone wrong."

If it was anyone else, I would've been interested to hear how they'd justify such a statement, with some amusement. Of course, this was Merowian, and I had spent far too long listening to his voice already. "Hmm," I mumbled my reply, not bothering to sound any more interested than I felt, settling down on the floor partway beneath another infirmary bed, lying flat on my back on the floor and twisting my head towards Merowian, my eyes closed.

"You don't need to tell me, I know it's interesting," he enthused, his playful voice filled with barely-veiled laughter. "You know Professor Hojo, Chocobo?"

"Mmm-hmm," I replied in the affirmative, sitting back up and resting my head against the bottom of the bed, shifting every few seconds to get more comfy. I'd heard of him. Supposedly he was some genius, the brains behind the treatment that turned us ordinary people into SOLDIER material. I didn't realise how soon my opinion of the man would change, nor how drastically.

I supposed Merowian hadn't heard me. "You probably haven't, I guess. He spends all his time in the bowels of the science department. But, uh, once he planned this new experiment, to make something...fantastic. Yeah?"

I opened my eyes, to see the SOLDIER staring at me with a grin. I gave a very slow, lazy nod, pulling my right leg up to be propped up against the bottom of the bed at a very steep angle - it was hurting me, just straight across the floor like that.

"He carried out this experiment, not completely certain of what the results would be. He performed them on this boy, who was already pretty awesome, and eagerly awaited the results after all his experiments were completed." Not only was the SOLDIER completely bonkers, he also couldn't tell a story. Just a thought.

I pushed myself to my foot, and hobbled across the room, looking from left to right and trying to find a better place to sleep - that last one was absurd. I said nothing, intentionally meaning to avoid motivating him to continue his story, but naturally it had no effect.

"Everything seemed to be ordinary," Merowian inspired interest by waving his hands mysteriously, making an 'ooh' as he did so. "He put the boy through tons of tests, and found that most of everything seemed to have the same results as they did before the procedure, with only tiny, miniscule changes that weren't worth noticing."

I lay myself down in the middle of the floor, inwardly wondering whether or not doctors and medics actually were as hygiene-conscious as they appeared. The floor seemed as spick-and-span as reasonably possible, so I presumed so.

"The Professor wanted to try everything available, just to make sure that there were no changes in any aspect ordinary people would never consider. After a few tests, the boy seemed to be no different than he had been previously; and then the Materia was brought in."

I pretended to give a slow, inspired nod, relaxing with my hands beneath my head. I crossed my right, paining leg over the other with the intention of giving it support. It didn't seem to work, but I expected it was better than just leaving it to support itself. I wasn't a doctor, but it seemed like common sense.

"He gave me a Materia to try out, and without the boy ever seeing or using anything like it before in his life, he used the Materia to completely scorch half the lab, two of the walls completely eradicated and any machinery and files between the boy and the walls were vanquished."

"Wow," I muttered in response, with no real sincerity. I had decided that pretending to sound interested was the best way to keep the SOLDIER happy and content, no matter how sarcastic I sounded. I rolled over to lie on my stomach, and immediately got up as my leg throbbed in disapproval at the action, hopping over to a wall and leaning against it on my left foot.

Merowian nodded enthusiastically, running a hand through his silly, ruffled hair. "The professor was so happy he leapt into the air. And did a little dance. Every scientist and professor and person has their 'Eureka' moment, and for Professor Hojo, that was his. He wasn't even bugged about the destroyed files, he was so pleased with the success."

Sliding down to sit on the floor with my back against the wall, I bent my leg up slightly to ease the discomfort, and then fell over on one side in an attempt to get more comfortable. "Fantastic," I commented sarcastically, pushing myself back to my foot to find my next place.

"You want to know something extraordinary?" Merowian quizzed, looking very much like the cat that caught the Chocobo.

From where I had hopped over to my bed, and was in the beginnings of preparing myself to roll onto my head, I made a fake interested sound, staring at the man relaxing opposite me with an interested and mostly bored expression.

"I was that kid."

"No way," I answered slowly, my voice smothered in sarcasm, before shaking my head and prepping myself for rolling forward. I took a breath, stretched my arms, cracked my knuckles and rolled forward, my back resting along the bottom of the infirmary bed.

Gently, I lowered myself so my helmeted head was on the floor right in the centre, longish strands of blue hair dropping down to make a little pool around my head. Both my hands secured my balance, and I let my eyes flutter closed, as normality returned at last and I was comfortable.

For about two seconds, then I felt some awkwardness. I opened my eyes, and saw the problem, of Merowian staring at me, his mouth a little open.

"Quick question," he muttered in a surprised, hasty tone, "why are you in a headstand?"

My eyelids closed over again, and I couldn't help snorting. "Yet again, you have proved you're a little behind in knowing all this stuff everyone knows about me," I mocked Merowian, raising each hand individually to roll and loosen my wrist. "I didn't like sleeping on a bed, so I figured I'd stick as close to tradition as possible and sleep on something that rhymed with bed."

Woo! How kickass was that comeback? Now two Cadets have burned him!

...Aww, why didn't I say that out loud? That's the cleverest cheeky thing I'd ever come up with, and I thought it.

Wait, he hadn't said anything yet. Would it just be a flop if I said it now?

"Ooh! Now two Cadets have burned you!" I exclaimed, chuckling. He looked at me with an unimpressed look, and a long silence followed.

...Yeah, I should've just kept it in my head.

...

"Your knee has healed up quite nicely!" an over-enthusiastic nurse announced to me, grinning at me far too brightly for the time of the morning. Or maybe it was just down to the rough night I'd been put through. I sent a nasty glare to the man responsible, grinning smugly in his own bed, cradling his burnt arm with a gaggle of nurses flanking him.

On my head, propped up on the floor by my hands in the usual position, I couldn't have been more comfortable; but any chance I had of sleeping was small, because of Merowian's unending chatter. As if that wasn't enough, he would not stop giving me weird looks while I was on my head, which was extremely off-putting. It made my skin crawl in the most horrible way, and I knew that when I could feel these creepy looks without my eyes being open, there was no chance of my usual sleeping position this night.

I tried some more places, some different positions, and I had found quite a comfortable one with my injured leg being the only thing on the bed. Sadly, by the time I'd found this position the room was beginning to light up as morning approached and the city woke up, though it was unlikely I'd ever get to sleep with Merowian and his nonsensical jibber-jabber. It was all I could do to resist the temptation of asking one of the nurses for a drug to knock someone out, and decide who I would use it on; Merowian, or myself.

You always know when you have a bad sleep. It's the worst feeling. You get up for the day, and you know you have to get up for the day, and all you can think about doing is going back to sleep. Generally, when I wake up, I'm awake for the rest of the day. I know some people just really love their sleep enough to want to remain so for the time after they wake up. But when you feel like you want to go to sleep for the entire day...ugh, these days are rare, but I hate them.

I expect that explains things and tidies them up in a nice little bow. "Though I can't imagine how, with the way you've been sleeping!" my nurse went on to say with a hearty laugh, doing a quick examination of my health by touching my leg, asking how I felt and checking charts.

Miserably, I replied, "I didn't get any sleep." I barely even looked at her, too busy with glaring at the carefree man across from me, who had a twinkle in his eye as he deliberately ignored me.

"Have you considered sleeping in a bed, normally?" she suggested, with enough sarcasm to make me pout. "There's nothing more we can do for that injury, it'll heal up just nicely on its own; we can only give you pain medication and tell you not to put it through too much stress. I'll go get some."

The woman swept to her feet and left, and I found myself smiling. As far as Shinra nurses went - the majority of which were gathered around Merowian's bedside - she certainly seemed like a good one, pleasant and decent company, while also being practically professional.

After a particularly loud, raucous giggle from the other side of the room that had me cringing and my outlook darkening, my nurse returned with a little brown bottle of pills, setting them on my bedside table. "You shouldn't need that many at all," she told me with a stern shake of her finger.

Why did you give me the whole bottle then? I wondered, but said nothing, eyes wide and cross-eyed, looking at her finger.

"Just take two with water if you're in pain, and you can't take two doses within two hours of each other." She cut herself off as a few particularly loud giggles came from Merowian's side of the room, and she turned to give a warning glare. She turned back to me with a false, fresh smile. "Now while I'm thinking of it, maybe I should get you a pair of crutches. Best for the next little while to keep as much weight off that leg as possible." The busybody rubbed her hands together and took off with a fast stride, and I was left to twiddle my thumbs and wonder what Merowian and the nurses were talking about.

My curiosity must've shown in my expression, because after a few surreptitious glances from the entire group, three of them scampered over to me.

I cocked an eyebrow. "Well? You girls looking to see me fall over myself when I try my crutches?" I was active as a kid, and liked to climb trees, meaning I got quite a few injuries. Oddly, only one of those had me given crutches from the clinic in the town, and I didn't use them; not once. Dad hefted me over his shoulder and carried me all the way home, and around the house I either hopped, hobbled, or had my personal slave Nate carry me to my destination. Nate and I were tight.

At my somewhat sarcastic statement, the nurses laughed. "No, of course not!" one said, her voice gratingly high-pitched. "Just that Edward told us he meant to tell you something last night, but forgot to," she continued, and I perked up, nonplussed.

He talked about EVERYTHING. He never stopped talking, he couldn't possibly have said that much and NOT covered every topic known to man. And...he forgot something? I asked the trio to relay the message.

"He was talking to the doctor before you came in, and he meant to tell you that you get today off classes...for your sprained knee," another chimed, a hand over her mouth as though she was holding back giggles.

I should've immediately sniffed out something stupid and suspicious going on, but a snort of escaping laughter from the other nurses by Merowian distracted me, and I was just too tired and unconcerned to really be bothered by it. I was a little relieved though; it would've been difficult to carry on with the usual, already difficult routine with my screwy leg.

"Oh, cool, thanks," I replied, feeling a little awkward, with the nurses immediately scampering back to Merowian.

Of course, I'd find out later that it was a holiday for Letter Day, rather than people just being considerate for my misfortune, and that Merowian had told them to play that, frankly, rubbish trick on me.

With crutches in hand, the cool nurse returned, and helped me to my feet with a smile, handing over the crutches. I balanced on my good foot for a second, and then started to hobble, swinging forward with the crutches and hopping on my left foot.

The nurse was grinning in delight, nodding at me when I looked at her. I noticed Merowian grinning childishly, ignoring a couple of the nurses who were practically falling all over him. I came to a stop close to my bed, grinning in self-satisfaction. Who knew I'd be able to do that on my first try?

Proudly, I tossed my head to make some of the strands over my eyes push back, and fell a little off-balance. Instinctively, I put my right foot down to get it back, and my nurse couldn't launch herself forward quickly enough to stop me falling backwards, sucking in air through gritted teeth and letting out an inadvertent squeak as I landed on my backside on the floor.

It was a surreal few moments of absolutely nothing. The nurse was frozen in mid-stride, hands outstretched, her expression startled. I was on the floor, face screwed up in barely-suppressed agony, upper body bent low over my legs. I couldn't see Merowian, but I presumed he was shaking with silent laughter.

Yup. The first thing to break the odd suspenseful few seconds of nothing was his explosion of laughter. A few beats later, an agonised yelp forced itself up from somewhere in my body, and my nurse along with a couple of Merowian's favourites rushed forward to help.

I was helped to a sitting position on my bed, and watched with drooping eyes as the nurse poured water from a bottle into a clear plastic beaker beside my bed. "Painkillers first, huh kid?" she stated, intending it to not be a question.

I dipped my head, looking down at my leg and hating it. "I guess..."