AN: After all this time, I have finally started typing again. So here it is Chapter 1 part 3.

It's not that good and it's riddled with grammatical errors, but I just really wanted to get this out there.

I hope you all enjoy! Thank you for everything! :)

Stay tuned for more or whatever floats your boat. :)

Disclaimer: I don't have any ownership of ATLA :(.

P.S.: There are parts in character dialogue that don't really flow, so if anyone has tips on that I would love to hear them! :)

Also, I tried to cut down on the detail after some friends pointed out that it seemed a little too much in previous chapter parts. I would love your opinion on that. Thank you!

Summer is almost here ~~~

The sounds of haggard breaths consumed the surrounding air.

They were dying and it was nothing compared to the slaughter the Firebenders had faced.

Nothing in comparison to the blood that painted the once marvelous city streets.

At least, that was my first impression.

Healers bustled all about, from one tent to another, from one wounded soldier to the next. They had their hands full and exhaustion was rapidly creeping up on their sorrow filled faces.

Inside me the yearning to offer my skills built, but as I slowly glanced about I knew that I did not have enough energy to me to even sit up.

This fact did not seem to dissuade my stubbornness from other ideas. It grappled with logic and pushed forward one pathetic attempt at movement and my mind began to wander to no avail as I grappled for enough control to move. However, my body seemed content to lie as limp as a rag doll. (One point logic.)

I let out a frustrated breath and glanced at the soldier that lay bloody and still on the cot near mine, my surroundings swarmed at me and I squinted, taking in the details of his appearance, and I was flooded with relief at the sight of his rising chest. He was breathing. (Alive for now.)

My eyes (the only part of my body that I could move at the moment as earlier proven) slowly drifted towards his face, recognition sparked, focusing on him dwindled the intensity of the room and soon enough I had placed his face. He had been on the mission to ambush the Firebenders ships. I remembered his eyes (intense and full of blue fire), I had seen him march with the others while standing next to Yue. But before my eyes could do any further analysis, a healer came stumbling to my cot. ( At least, her aura was that of a healer.)

My attention was captured by the sight of her.

Her breath was sluggish and her eyes pained at the sight of me, I wish I could have offered her a few words of solace, but I was not sure I could speak (and after how that had ended last time, I was not too anxious to try anytime soon).

With that thought my thirst made itself known, it thrummed within me, it became a striking fire.

I hadn't had anything to drink in hours.

The thought began to bubble up only to burst as I glanced at the Healer's eyes.

She was young and had a nervous energy about her.

The healer (who I had never met) focused on my steady gaze and seemed slightly relieved.

"Darling, I am glad to see that you are conscious, Chief Arnook was looking for you, your family as well," her voice, despite its sorrowful tone, had a pleasant, soothing touch to it.

I could tell that she was a bit shaken up but it was not as if I were in the position where I could do anything (no matter how much I wished I could).

She looked at me, almost in expectation of some sort of response.

I just blinked at her.

She kept her stare.

Her gaze seemed to flourish something within me but it soon dwindled.

I blinked again, slower this time. (An attempt to make it evident that I was in no condition to respond and by golly she understood.)

"Oh…my, when was the last time you had a drink! "-my last blink seemed to drive her into a worried and ramble-filled haze-"Has any healer been to see you?"-she had a knack for answering her own questions, I could relate-" Wait…most likely not…"

She took a second to glance around as if collecting her emotions and jumbled thoughts in an attempt to place them to the side.

" This is not getting us anywhere… I must apologize the atmosphere has thrown me off, it was my first battle as an active healer, and all. Let us begin again? I am Makoto, I came to find you, my Lady."

For an instance, I glimpsed at what this healer could be if she learned to have a better handle on her thoughts and their effects on her actions. (Though I was not exactly one who could speak, I was much the same, though much of my nervous energy had been absorbed inwardly in the last few years. I only rambled like that when I was really freaked out or around those who knew me well. And when I was alone... out loud... It was something I had picked up from Grandma Autumn.)

Makoto continued on, though a bit more self-conscious this time. She seemed to want me to know everything she was going to do before she did it. I was grateful for her consideration.

"It is obvious you cannot speak? ... It is my task to bring to your family, but that is not possible in your current condition, therefore I am going to try and heal you, alright?"

I blinked again to signify yes.

Makoto smiled and carefully coming up to my side, she began her task.

Makoto seemed sincere and appeared quite young (younger than I had previously noticed), maybe a handful of years older than me, barely 17.

Her smile was kind and bright, her eyes a charismatic blue, and her long hair was losing whatever shine it had before the battle, the once slicked-back braid was beginning to come loose in sections and curl at her shoulders. My eyes followed its path and found that her hair long passed her waist, like mine.

My hair was currently sticking to my pillow, the blue of it stark against the cot and someone had taken care to make sure its extended length rested comfortably in a swirling pile. I had an idea of exactly who that person or in this case, people had been. Of who had made sure I was okay.

I wondered if they had recognized me yet if they had told my parents where I was.

I doubted it, my parents would have already come and there would have been no reason for Makoto to come stumbling in. I had also changed quite a bit since my days throwing snowballs at my cousins in the Southern Water Tribe. They would not know me.

The thought filled me with a deep despair and it flared my thirst again, a thirst which had been diminished by Makoto's presence (a distraction) and her healing.

I turned my attention back to Makoto (in an attempt to quite the blazing flame) as I felt her energy bring strength to my depleted body.

She wore the traditional healers' parka and snow boots.

She was also a magnificent healer, I already felt energy surging into my body, like waves onto the shore.

My lips, which had been scratchy and peeling, smoothed and I felt grounded.

She glanced at me, exhaustion painting her lovely face, had she even slept all night?

(How long had it been since the battle? The sun was out, its warmth could be felt radiating into the tent. But the sun had been rising before I had passed out. Had it been only a short time, hours? Or had it been longer a whole day?)

Thoughts began to race past me, but the flow of them broke at Makoto's tired smile,

"Can you speak?"

Her eyes appeared to be glazing over and her smile was doing its best to not convey its fatigue.

The healing, despite her obvious skill, had taken its toll on her. She had probably been healing like this non-stop all day, maybe more. It was a wonder she could stand.

The best way to help her was to figure out if I could even move and then go from there.

My throat, previously a devastated field of blazing corpses, felt a steady coolness wash over it and gently, in its rhythmic beats, the coolness took away the burning flame that bloomed there, leaving a tranquil oasis. The rest of my body was no different, slowly the freshness of water doused the igniting flames and I felt that with enough effort I would be able to move.

Yet something struck me in that second, how had my head not felt the effects of this burn-out or rather, what powerful healing had cleared the fog from by fried brain, from the winding roller-coaster of thoughts and left a peaceful clearing in its place. Had it been Katara? Was she so immensely powerful?

(I had no doubt she was.)

Makoto gasped and my attention raced to her.

She was in pain, her eyes popping, her breath sluggish, and her skin as white as the tundra. Her hands clasped helplessly at my cot as she tried to hang on to something, anything; her body was a sinking ship and she was going down with it.

My mind flashed and I was next to her, no pain, no feeling at all, just my hands on her chest, taking water from the air and covering my hands with it like gloves, before I began to heal her. It was second nature, the process, the coolness of the water radiating on my skin, the feeling of slowly stitching thing together.

I am not sure how much time passed, all I know is that Makoto's soul was a kind one, that she was a fighter, and that she helped me as I healed her.

It was difficult at first to assess what was wrong, the better question would have been what was not. Her mind, her body, her soul, they all seemed out of sync.

Had I done that? Or had the exhaustion finally weighed her down?

Not even considering the fact that moments ago I had been too weak to move or utter a word, that Makoto's healing did not mean that I was magically restored, I poured all the energy I had into saving her. Too much apparently because soon, we began to glow, not the usually ethereal blue but a violent violet that radiated throughout the tent.

The glow was like a beacon, calling Healers from all around until suddenly, I was not the only one trying to rescue Makoto from her sinking ship of a body.

Until Makoto was not the only one the glow was healing.

Until the light began to consume us all.

A blend of hands covered in light, light that soon covered all the tents, then the surrounding blocks, the light grew until it drenched the entirety of the North.

With the blinding light came visions.

Visions of faces, laughter, and long forgotten places.

People that were long dead and would never come back.

Memories...

It was almost… Well, I think I triggered something within myself, but in truth, what the light brought with it was soon forgotten.

Like the waves wearing away at the shore, by the time I came around, the only thing I knew for certain was that I was the only one awake.

Around me, bodies lay everywhere, all caught in some sort of trance.

Not in pain, but not awake…

A strange sound, a roar? Interrupted my eyes careful intake of my surrounding and after making sure everyone was alive, I stood with an ease I had not had in a while. (Should I not feel exhausted? Yet despite my mind reeling in confusion, I only felt an airy lightness.)

Glancing at Makoto, who was no longer as pale, in fact, she almost glowed, I sent a sincere "Thank you."

I listened again, there was the same sound, (perhaps I was not the only one awake) I attempted to follow but getting over unconscious bodies is no game of hopscotch. Eventually, I just used my bending to create a pass above the bodies and quickly glided out of the tent.

The light of the sun erupted as I greeted the outside flourishes.

The sound echoed louder in the tundra and I startled at the sight of even more people on the ground, in the same muttering trance as before.

Thank the spirits they were alive.

All about seas of people lay on the snow, some appeared as comfortable as if they were in their cots at home by the warm fire, but they were alive.

Then it echoed again, the roar.( My curiosity consumed me.)

It reminded me of why I stood outside and I raced towards it, first racing through the snow filled streets, but after finding that I was moving too sluggishly, after a block or so I began bending my way through the city streets, over canals and bridges, until I stood in front of the entrance to the spirit oasis or what seemed to be the location of the roar's maker.

I hesitated at the sight of it as the grief and memories of my last time inside bubbled to the surface…

Yue…

My breath turned ragged and I felt a horrible sob escaped me as memories flashed and the knowledge of never being near her again filled me.

My grief was a storm and I was at the center.

If the source of the sound had not roared once more, I would have stood there for a lifetime, barely breathing as my eyes birthed waterfalls of agony and despair.

However, the roar too seemed to share my grief and that got me moving. Like an arrow I raced through the entrance and onto the grass of the oasis, crossing the bridge onto the center where I froze once more.

Before me, in confusion and pain stood a bison, the Avatar's bison, Appa. ( I had only seen him briefly in the time he had been here and was he a sight to behold.)

At the sight of him a wonder overtook me and as I slowly followed his gaze, that flow of wonder ceased. Interrupted and shattered at the sight before me.

There crumpled in the oasis ground, without breath or life laid Grandma Autumn, the women who had always been my guidance, who had shaped me into the girl I was today, who had always supported my stubborn attitude, and who had always taken care to give just enough of a nudge to help me get where I needed to be.

The world disintegrated as I glided to her (she had taught me that move).

Appa's cries slightly slowed at the sight of me, why was he so distraught?

Was he as connected to Grandma Autumn as I was?

My hands quickly laid on her chest and I set to work healing her, summoning water from the spirit oasis, water that I knew was more powerful than any other, but whatever had caused her death, not even the spirits water could bring her back.

I stayed there, Appa over me, both of us in hysteric sobs as I healed and healed, even though I knew it would not work.

How could I give up on her?

That was not even an option.

She was family and the only person besides Yue that had ever understood me.

She was the Northern Water Tribes strongest fighter, she had been the main defending force, the main reason I had ever had the opportunity to train under Master Pakku, she alone had been able to convince him.

She was always there, constantly setting things in motion and helping others.

She was the light of the north, had been for a century. How could that light go out? It was eternal.

My mind seemed keen on pushing forward, on healing until it could heal no more until the world would fade into darkness.

As my hiccuping sobs caused my hands to become too unstable to heal, my mind finally faced the truth.

She was gone.

In the midst of my agony, of my crippling grief, I felt a hand touch me.

I was surprised that I could feel anything at all.

I was numb, frozen, an iceberg of my own.

But the touch, it reached me.

It was like I was being pulled, rescued from a horrible storm, being raised up and out into safety.

Suddenly, I was not in a hurricane of memories and pain, I was sitting on the warm grass, the north wind was blowing, and the sunset caused the oasis to glow a magnificent orange.

My eyes scanned to find the source of the saving touch.

There, next to Appa, who had finally stopped crying, there was a boy, a boy in orange and yellow.

A boy with a soothing voice.

A boy I recognized.

He slowly turned to me, eyes so kind and gentle, a warm gray, like tea.

"Hello," his voice floated to me, almost as if it had been gently carried by the breeze itself.

"Hi," my voice was scratchy and warned of incoming sobs.

My hands still laid on Grandma Autumn.

He and Appa came towards me, his gaze filling with pain at the sight of the broken lady. I couldn't imagine how much death and destruction he had seen in the last few days, how much he had caused and prevented.

"I only just came too, earlier this strange light… it made everyone go to sleep, I thought I was the first to wake up, but I heard Appa, and I came here and saw you."

I turned to him as the realization struck me, it was a blinding flash, a sudden truth, unmistakable in every way.

The light, my light, it had done this.

I had killed Grandma Autumn.

"H—oly…. Spirits… I did this."

He turned to me, confused, "What do mean? Did what? K-hurt her? Make the light appear?"

"Both...everything… I am not sure how, but I did this. My spirits, Aang, I did this."

My eyes searched him, helpless and afraid, the guilt began to weigh me down and distract me from reality. ( I did not even notice that I had used his first name, that this was our first technical meeting and yet he seemed so familiar.)

If he was surprised to be called by his first name, he did not show it, instead he began to say that there was no way, he tried to console me and for the most part, it worked as he rationalized and tried to explain the light.

This was the boy from my watery dreams, the blurred face, the hushed voice, he was the blinding light in all the memories.

Maybe in another moment, the impact of that would strike me, but now I tried to let his familiarity console me.

But something gushed inside me, ripping open, why had Appa cried?

How had his sobs radiated?

Then I said the words that brought the Avatar to tears as well. I was crumpling in regret and guilt as I undid whatever solace Aang had managed to swiftly construct.

"I killed Grandma Autumn, she survived so much in the last 100 years and I killed her."

At that name, his eyes shone and softly he turned to me, his voice small.

"Autumn?"

So much emotion reflected in his uttering of her name, a kaleidoscope in six letters.

But I did not understand, I did not pay attention or even notice his pain, because I myself was consumed with guilt, with anger, and sadness, and 100 other ugly emotions.

I was selfish and so I spoke.

Because I needed to speak, to let out the crawling droplets within my soul.

"Yes, Autumn, she was born in the Southern Water Tribe over a 100 years ago, she was what remained of the Southern Tribes royal family or in this case leading tribe after the Fire Nations attack. They focused a lot of energy on destroying the family because it was said that they had connections to the Air Nomads." My words were bitter and harsh, insincere in every way, but I kept at it, ravishing his soul without even knowing it.

"She washed up on the Northern Tribes shore shortly after the attack on the Air Nomads, just before the Fire Nation attacked the north.

They say that she was wearing raggedy Air Nomads robes, salty and worn by the ocean.

They said it was a miracle that the princess survived.

But after the attack her memory became spotty, the remains of her family came to join her, she became a fierce warrior despite the customs of the north.

The shambles of the major tribal family in the south came north and the second ruling family took over.

She was never the same.

She would tell me about her days in the South and her friends but I honestly do not think she remembered much of anything of that time.

She married to Imana, they had children, and the children eventually went back to the Southern Tribe. One even married into the second ruling family."

My words started losing sense and my bitterness melted into sobs.

"When I c-came here, she had wanted to see my mother, my sister, and I.

She said we were spitting images of her daughter, who had g-gone back to the Southern Pole after so long.

It turned out that we w-we were actually related, the records traced us as direct descendants of her and th-thanks to her we had a safe place to call h-home in the North.

She-She… I remember… when I told her m-y my name.

She smiled in this-s way that she does-did, like she knew a million things, but could not say them because she had sworn not to, but she would still give hints."

By then my words were riddled with sobs…

And Aang stared at Grandma Autumn in a pleading way, before turning to me and breaking down in my arms. How could I know that I had ripped open a guilt that had laid dormant within him, that had become hopeful and then had been shredded by a grimy blue haired girl?

As the sun set on the oasis, the Avatar and I, accompanied by Appa, broke down in front of Grandma Autumn, holding onto each other for dear life.

As it turned out Autumn had meant the world to both of us.

I had cruelly told the fate of the Avatar's closest friend as he sat a mere foot away from her corpse.

I had crushed his hope of reuniting with the person who weighed down on him the most in one bitterly heartbroken story.

And Appa was the only one who knew the truth at the time.